Posts Tagged ‘balance of masculine and feminine’

untitledThere are many types of grief and trauma in human life, both individually and as a species, but perhaps the greatest grief is that of being separated from our creator. That grief is compounded when we cut ourselves off from our purpose and design – which is a choice we each make as individuals. We all have an inner yearning to be rejoined, or “go home,” no matter how subtle it may be. Responding to that natural urge is the only way to reconcile our grief. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I have the need, as portrayed by the first dream, to break out of the malaise. So that’s the first aspect of an imbalance. 

So what triggers this other dream, it’s like I was listening to a tape and the second part of the tape has to do with the masculine carrying a type of heartfulness, a closeness that is out of reach – as if it’s a type of raw energy. 

The feminine carries a refinement in which it’s just hidden, but the masculine is trying to rattle themselves through it. And it’s almost like there’s a greater heartfulness behind the masculine’s raw energy, at least so it appears, because they can be affected by things that look kind of peculiar to a person who has the eyes to see. That they can see that that person is not necessarily how they appear. They can be doing crazy things, but behind all of that is a heart trying to be very, very open.

And the tape I listened to discussed variables after variables, and examples after examples, of how this is to prove the point that on this way of looking at it the masculine actually carries a greater connection to the heart than the feminine – who is sitting more in an amnesia of completeness and wholeness that it can’t quite access, but is whole and complete inside of herself.

While the masculine is pulling down something directly to try to effectuate that into life, and that action has a sense of a greater heartfulness. So what happens if you don’t catch up with that greater heartfulness? What if you’re traumatized, or sitting in a state of grief or despair or something? What does that look like when you’re distant from it? 

And so in the dream I’m shown how the grief/trauma I am repressing and keeping unconscious is affecting the way I relate to wonderful people in authority. I feel I need to challenge them in some way or another. Notice I said that they were actually wonderful people. In other words, they’re not people that are doing crazy things but, nevertheless, I’m trying to find edges or issues or aspects that I can toiter with, which means you tend to taunt them.

And I’m not making any sense to anyone, including myself, as to why I think I need to do it. Because they carry something inside themselves by their actions that is whole or in balance, and I am not catching up with that inside myself because of some sort of grief or trauma, I project that deviation outwardly as a type of taunting, or challenge, or whatever, because I’m not holding myself in the energetic that I see that is more copacetic. Or, in other words, free from this quality of repression and grief that I carry. I see there are people that are free of that. 

So in the scene I see myself going after a guy who is much bigger, stronger, and quicker than me. And he tries to scurry out of the way because he doesn’t want to engage me, because if he does, he’s going to hurt me. I probably even kind of know that, but that doesn’t stop me. 

I keep after him and, if I do catch him, I will be the one who gets hurt. He will have no choice but to protect himself. So this dream is just pointing out another area in which I am imbalanced because of an excessive sorrow wound I cover over, or carry in a repressed state, and am trying to break free of it. And so I actually react to things that are too touching when I’m not ready to be touched that deeply. I rebuff it. I shut down. So I’m a bit of a catatonic danger to myself. 

For someone who doesn’t know how to look at this, they could say that I have some sort of deep down inner rant. I haven’t absorbed the wound sorrow and am taking it out on myself and others without any rhyme or reason that is readily apparent. 

The reason for this dream and the prior one is to get me to see why it is I am compelled to push myself unnaturally, in other words like project myself unnaturally to try to effectuate something in the outer, as a sense of something that I can’t quite reach. Or to carry on righteously, which in this case is actually to my detriment, which would get me beat up.

And it’s all because I’m reacting in a taunting manner to something that I can’t just naturally comply with because I have this sorrow or wound inside of me that is still triculating and hasn’t resolved itself. In other words, I put this quality over it, or tone over it. That’s how we are when we’re veiled, or whenever we have denseness in our nature, or mannerisms in our nature. 

There are things that we can’t shake and we project those things, and this is showing a kind of projection that has to do with this covering over of an ability to reach a type of clarity or sight that is there for me to be able to have found, but the non-finding of it leads to kind of a trauma and a reactivity. 

So behind this is something hidden I have not let go of, absolved, or forgiven myself for. In other words, if you’re really hard on yourself you could say there’s no excuse for you not being conscious of this, that, or the other which you can see yourself as being a little awry about. 

And, in many instances, that’s not the right attitude, either, because whatever that is may be so far yet hidden as a grief and a trauma that unless you had that at your fingertips as an energetic that you could catch up with, which basically is caught up with by way of a clarity that comes all the way straight through it – and it just goes poof. 

If you don’t catch up with that, then you can’t be taking that out on yourself either, and that’s part of what I do when I set myself up to taunt, or challenge, and run the risk of getting hurt. I’ve forgotten how to pay this inner debt to life, that’s what it really amounts to, so I act out in strange ways. 

The part that is like my brother is plagued with having to act out as if he is in a state of denial, i.e., like the prior dream. This just further covers up the amnesia, sorrow, wound. The part that is righteous keeps looking for a fight, or a means to come more to grips with this plaguing condition. 

What is positive about all of this is that deep down I have a sense that I need to break through a barrier and, when I do, I will reach an intended freedom. And this is a type of freedom that has to do with me knowing something that one needs to naturally know from somewhere else.

And then in the next little image, or dream, it’s like I wake up because you’ve made the statement, “I hope you guys can rent me again,” which is your way of saying that whatever it is that we did, we’ve blown it. It’s not like you are purposely going away. 

It’s like the state that I’m in is such that you can’t be how you would normally be, and that’s how you would normally be, and so it’s like renting you again so that you can be who you can normally be. 

This is like a statement of the feminine, and this statement is made to me and your father who have somehow hurt your feelings because you’re doing what is needed and we do something to cut that natural flow off. 

Interesting, rapport with the feminine being missing. That’s what happens when you get pouty, or righteous, or in a state of sorrow, which is a type of mood, and sorrow is more associated with a veil of feminine mannerism because it sits in sound. It’s syrupier as opposed to light, which is crisp.

So the significance of this is that the image is portraying the trauma wound imbalance that’s having something to do with how manifestation has been mistreated by some uproarious and righteous personal part of myself, or anyway some part of myself that’s off base. 

So I am not yet relating to that in a conscious reconcilable way. I feel the magnetic impulses within trying to find their way, energetically, and I guess I will have to see how that lives itself out, or makes itself known. 

In other words, how do I access the feminine that’s just naturally there? The question will be, is this something that is able to be absorbed, or is it something that has to be lived out? If it’s something that’s absorbed, means it becomes something that is natural to you and you don’t have to go through anything, it’s just there. 

If it’s something that has to be lived out that means there are still inflections, and characteristics, and qualities that have to be understood and grasped in some sort of consciousness aspect of yourself. And so then you need to live it out, or utilize the outer world as the greater teacher for that to run its course.

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chasedOver the course of these three dreams, Jeane is confronted by her resistance to letting go of a certain inner wariness of the masculine energies inside her. The more she resists, the more she cuts herself off from an energetic balance that is needed to connect her to a natural state of inner knowing. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: My earliest dream, it feels like I’m kind of in a desert community. It seems like everything is either sand colored, or maybe even I’m wearing something kind of an off-color white with a little red in it. And I seem to be trying to trade an automatic gun for a gun that doesn’t fire so many bullets. So it’s like I go and I sit somewhere, and I’m trying to get someone to give me a gun that makes more sense to me. I don’t like the automatic gun.

John: The energetic of the dreams last night had to do with being able to take in a more fluid flow, and in doing so be able to denote more in terms of what is going on in terms of the world around one. The tendency was to try and shrink or accommodate a lesser space.

Generally what causes that is characteristics and traits like moods, anger, or frustration, judgment, prejudice, whatever it is that one carries that takes one and defines one away from the outer flow. We have areas in which we try to make everything comfortable, and it’s our attempt to accommodate something, to control our environment around us in a particular way, that we conceptualize.

That is when we shut ourselves off from something. We shut ourselves off from a process by which there is a connection and a linkage in terms of us being able to appreciate something else. In my dream it’s something that’s able to be appreciated in a sense of knowingness that is natural through a connection that opens that up. And that connection involves having a certain integration of masculine and feminine energy.

In your dream you’re just working on one component of that, and that component is the flow, the machine gun action, which can seem a bit overwhelming. But it’s of an expansive nature that will cause you to scope much, much more, and you have to be able to get comfortable with that rather than something that is simple and ordinary, but in the simple and ordinariness you hold yourself back.

Jeane: In the second dream, it feels like I’m being pursued by some men, so I’ve gone into a cave, and so it’s dark in there, and there’s water in there that’s like either a canal or a hot springs canal, or something like that. So I think the best way to get away from the men is to go into the water and swim underwater, but I can only do it so much and then I come up, and if they see me then maybe they’ll get me.

Just about the time I think that they’re going to get me, a seal comes along. Well, a seal is about the same size as a human. I even feel its whiskers. I realize that if the seal is kind of going in the direction that they are, and I’m swimming away from where that is, I think there is a way you can swim out from the cave at the end, I’m going towards it, that they’ll see the seal and think it’s me and that way is how I think I will get away.

John: This dream is showing that you are differentiating yourself in terms of trying to hold a feminine space. You’re differentiating yourself from an effect of the masculine. The masculine is like the pursuer. It’s like an energy that’s coming down, that causes you to have to adjust and accommodate and take all of that in.

You are seeing that, and this is not unnatural. This is how the feminine energy in creation tends to be. It tends to see the masculine energy as out of cadence with things, and so it ignores it. It runs away from that, and in running away from that, something then is not able to properly unfold.

The seal is a letting go process of gracefulness, that has a higher, deeper intelligence imbedded in it that, if you didn’t hide, the seal would be kind of an understanding, or it’s kind of like in your escape and you’re pulling back away from it. You go into another depth of yourself where the quality isn’t conscious, because you go below the water, but there’s something about the unconsciousness in which you have a knowing, somehow, of what is meant to be in terms of letting go, and accepting the circumstances and conditions of a masculine flow energy. And that part is a gracefulness of your nature, which is represented by the seal, which realizes that it can do it – it can let go.

And you’re still acting as if inside yourself you still have this belief that you have to take on certain screening mechanisms, or safeguards, in relationship to the masculine. And from my dreams, I can tell you what you’re losing by doing that.

Jeane: In my next dream, first I’m at a friend’s house where I’m going to spend the night. It’s someone I knew from when I was a kid. Her room is kind of very full of stuff, so I just think I have some blankets or something I put on the floor because that’s what will be my bed when I come back.

And then we go back out, and I’m sitting for a minute in another room with a bunch of other kids, and this guy from high school, who was actually quite bright, is teasing me. He doesn’t think I can give him the square root of, let’s say a number above ten, without using a pen and paper, and I’m kind of insulted by that.

I get up and I walk out of the room. He would have given me something if I could, and I’m thinking I should have kind of cheated and just given him the square root of 20. But then I realize that does feel like cheating, so I was a little miffed by him.

I go out of the room and then I hook up with you, and we’re all going to be taking part in some kind of a parade, and whatever event follows the parade, like a circus. I guess we have to sign up for it in some way, and you get into this line to go into this strange building that has kind of all these concrete steps that go up either inside or outside.

I go into another room on the ground floor and there’s some women that have these sheets of paper with things that are drawn on them, almost like stamps, and I guess I can pay a dime and get one of those, and it does something towards the registration, but it’s like I give the lady my dime, the other lady drops it, and then the other lady can’t seem to find her sheet, so I finally just pick one up – but I figure out I picked up about three.

I go out to find you. I start to go up all these steps I see that are very complicated, but then I overhear somebody and the people going up the steps are actually going to buy a circus animal or something. That doesn’t make sense to me.

I come back down and find you. We’re going to be doing something with horses in a parade, so I ask if we can go ride the horses in the entry parade for what we’re going to be doing later, but you don’t want to do that.

Then I’m looking and I don’t quite have the right shoes on either, so I go back into my friend’s house, the girl that I’d met in the beginning, and it feels like that part of the dream is a little more vague to me. I know I accidentally let a cat into a room, and I’m trying to find some things, but at that point the dream kind of faded on me.

John: What you’re trying to do is you’re trying to find something, you’re trying to open up to something that is there for you to know, and it’s represented by three things, three sheets. One of them is the beginning of a process. Three of them take you up to where you have access to knowing what is going on, from time to time, but it’s not complete yet. Four would make it complete.

So you’re starting the process of catching up with what is to take place, that you can know, before it happens. And you know it in a quiet space, but in order for you to catch up with this you actually have to integrate and accept something with the masculine.

That then causes what is there, which is already imprinted in your being, to emerge. So you have an indulgence that keeps that from occurring, that you can access maybe one of the three but not all three of them, and if you accessed all three of them you would have a sense of what is meant to be, and it would come out of the unconscious a lot like the seal.

The seal is the implication of something coming out of the unconscious, which has a center of wisdom or something about it in terms of a knowingness that it has reached. But it’s not completely out in the open and it’s still hiding from the rest of the download of the acceptance of the masculine input that needs to come through.

You can go up some steps as if you can find it or retrieve it there, but you always keep coming back to hunkering down around a certain way that you see and feel yourself, thus you’re shutting yourself off from the actual theme of the dreaming, which is the ability to develop a means upon which you have a sense of what is unfolding – before it unfolds.

This is something that the mystic develops, and it is not something that can be explained to others, or can be understood by you as to where and how this comes from, but in order for it to be accessed you have to accept the mannerism of a masculine.

This is something that you find really, really hard if you look at the group, because the group has a certain attitude towards the masculine and believes that somehow or another it is put on a pedestal of carrying some sort of dispensation that is important in terms of ushering something forth in terms of life.

It can never happen without the integration and linkage of what the masculine has to offer in terms of its input. That input awakens the natural flow and fluidity that the feminine already carries, but lacks the spark to get it to come out. When that spark is able to come out, then those three sheets of paper or whatever they are make sense in terms of what it is that they reveal.

It took you three dreams to kind of catch up with the schematic of what is a potentiality intending to emerge inside of you as a type of knowingness, of what is to happen. You tend to refute that, or deny that you have this ability to know this, by saying you never know what these dreams mean, and you never do this, and you never do that, and you tend to kind of try to hold the space that you can tell whether something is right in terms of the way that it comes across or is interpreted or something.

And in that regard you’re deferring the fact of catching up with the quality of the masculine inside you, from which this emanates. Now, it might be that you’re not meant to catch up with that. It’s hard to know, but the dream indicates that you have that ability inside you that if you quit indulging, or being preoccupied in some sense as the way something needs to be, in your opinion, in terms of your perception of how it interlinks, and you find that process inside you, that you then will naturally, because you already carry it, you will naturally come across with what is necessary to understand what is unfolding, before it unfolds.

That is a process in life that is designed to come across. You can catch up with a bit of it, but there are actually three sheets, and in order to be proficient even in the three sheets you need a fourth for the completeness, and then you can look at that at any time. But even at three sheets it’s something that comes and goes, which is where my dream got to with three, but yours was working with one and it is trying to give you plenty of information as to what it is that you’re doing that is not taking something on in terms of yourself as a quality of masculine energy.

In other words, when you’re running from an alien force you’re really running away from the masculine, when you’re coming down steps that you could have gone up because you’re looking for something to lean on instead of being in attention within, you are running away from that input.

And you’re presented straightaway with the potentiality of three, in which three turns into four as a completeness, as a done deal. But you choose to try to have to accommodate that in some fashion according to whatever perceptions it is that you feel that you have, that has to be maintained and brought into the equation at the same time.

This is a quality of what is known as the feminine doingness. It is also in the masculine – it’s that quality where it’s reactive to things where it tends to have its ideas and project its ideas and those ideas can be treated as intense, or very linear, in the face of the feminine. And so if the feminine then screens it out – actually the feminine puts up mixers. The mixers actually obliterate the ability to hear.

And some people carry a certain degree of those mixers constantly. What’s interesting, for example, a person who does that is Mary, but when she goes to a program and she gets blown out she drops the mixers, but it’s the first thing that she brings back. It’s the first thing she relies upon straightaway as she falls back more to her energetic condition.

But at a program she lets go of it and comes to realize something much more, but she forgets that she realizes that much more. In other words, she gets what is needed that is given to her, so that she doesn’t keep twisting and turning and stabbing herself – and therefore failing to catch up with what it is that she is meant to be able to naturally know. So, there’s an example using Mary and Mary is hurting herself more angrily.

In your particular case, you’re not hurting yourself with anger, you’re hurting yourself with a type of indulgence. If you can be careful of the indulgence, thinking that you’re not necessarily worthy or entitled, and have to indulge as if it comes from somewhere else, something about that means of accepting something in a safety-valve way, you take yourself out of an acuity.

If you were to look back on yourself, there is something to be said, in terms of a certain sense of what was right and what was wrong, that you went through when you felt that you suffered more by yourself. But you also had a certain kind of access at a shamanistic level that kind of was a substitute that kept you oriented in a way that you were okay.

It was a little distorted, but it did give you some sense of being able to recognize at least in one step what was going on. That one step is the step that could happen to the archetypal world.

The other two steps go beyond that, that lead to three. And there is absolutely, literally, no way you can explain this to anyone. And it is something that to try to do that only hurts you, and beats you up, and tends, if you’re working with the feminine energy that you have integrated, it tends to cause the feminine energy to get burned by too much of a directness, and it reacts and then the mixers go on and then a confusion sets in.


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In this conversation between John and Ann, an archetypal dream scenario unfolds. (This recording does have some difficult passages, in terms of audio quality, but the text is provided to clarify any uncertain wording. It’s a journey worth pursuing! At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: It was another active night of dreaming. Did you dream actively too?

Ann: Well, I wrote it up here this morning because I finally was able to put my finger on it. The dream theme has been organizing. It’s like there are three parts to the organization and every night it’s been different dreams, very in depth, but organizing, and it has to do with three.

Like one night I was dreaming and organizing people into these three groups…

John: When you’re working with three you’re shifting something in. One step links to the next step links to the next step and what’s really, really unusual, that even a lot of teachers don’t notice, is that there actually is a fourth step. But mostly it’s three steps over and over again.

The first step is good for your foundation, the second step puts you into an aspect of how you correlate a motion with it, but aren’t necessarily conscious, but are unfolding nevertheless in that regard, and the third step is generally a breakthrough.

So let’s see how you did it.

Ann: Okay. In one of the first dreams I just remember that there were groups of people and I didn’t necessarily know the people, but I had to organize the people into these three groups. And so at one point I remember shifting some of the people around and moving them and thinking well no, that’s not quite right, and then finally, towards the end of that particular dream, I’d stand back and think okay, now that’s the way it should be.

John: It is said that on this path we are the designers, and what you’re doing is you’re shaping something. You’re attempting to tune in to a center of listening that knows how something is meant to be.

In other words, how it’s to be contained, or how it’s to be in the overall. That’s the general motif that you, so to speak, feel in your bones, or in other words, whenever I say that one’s feeling this so to speak in their bones, and so you go around and around to try to get it to come out or to flow or to come together, it’s like something that’s felt in the bones is like an inner vibration that is trying to live through you.

In other words, the way you live in the outer is one thing, identifying with your senses and how you perceive off of that and such. This other is like a whole other dimension that has you taking on, if one was describing it in a shamanistic way, your spot, your point in the whole. In other words, how it is that everything cycles. It’s like you being the essence and everything’s cycled around that, is perhaps another way of saying it.

That’s not quite right because everything is the wholeness. Nothing is distinguishable, but it’s how it kind of can be inclined to feel when you are trying to pull it all together.

So how does it work in the second dream?

Ann: The second dream earlier this week, I had lists of things and I had files and lists and I was trying to organize these things into these three lists. I just remember three kept coming up.

John: That trait that you’re describing is what the teacher says is the greatest problem for the feminine. The masculine is another word for it, that its greatest problem, and there are actually two things that are considered the big problem for the feminine, and you’re doing the second here. You’re not able to stop your doingness.

In other words, the feminine is a container energy, but then it can get lost in the minutia of its doingness, where it’s got this and this and this and that and that and that. So you have this central thing that is pushing you, the essence of something trying to come through that’s pushing you, and the way you’re working with it is you’re making your lists to try to pull it together, thinking that the list will pull it together.

Actually what happens is you kill the energy that way, but you make it so mundane, you make it so tight, you make it so dense that you put yourself in a mud puddle of suffering. You know, in trying to make the list work because the list format won’t work, because the list format is based upon how all of this needs to portray itself in the outer.

See, the vibration is an innerness coming in, and the list is an attempt to orchestrate that in the outer. I mean, this is the best you can do to catch up with it. I mean, you’ve done your best to try to contain the whole essence of what it is that’s in your bones so to speak, and because you’re in the outer your faculties come to bear then, and try to make lists to help it, but everything is being done in relationship to the outer, which is the reflective deadness of things.

And once in a while you get a break and something actually kind of works, and that spoils you. Because it’s kind of like maybe more by accident, because the inner is what is alive and the outer is the reflective or the dormant, and most of the time it’s on a slightly different tango. So, that’s how you are trying to work with it. Now let’s see if the third aspect shows you making the breakthrough.

Ann: Yeah, this is the last dream I had last night and so I’m kind of like sitting, I’m sitting at like a table or something, and I’m looking up at this great big screen and it’s like you know how you have documents on your computer and you have them in icons?

I had these icons and I kept moving them around and moving them around and thinking okay, I can’t quite get this but I was moving them around knowing that they were supposed to sort of be in a sequence or something, and all of a sudden it was like I moved them and I just sat there and I said, “Oh, I got it, I got it,” and then I woke up.

John: Huh. Now that would be different for the masculine than for the feminine. No wonder I created such a reaction when I was playing with this idea of the mystic versus the alchemist.

It’s the masculine needs to figure out how to be the alchemist. The feminine is naturally the alchemist. It’s the feminine that needs to figure out how to be the mystic, how to see.

That’s what you’re doing is you get to the point where aha, you see, and… I don’t know, this is so simple. I am surprised I didn’t make this correlation before, because a lot of times when I’m talking to the feminine, suddenly there’s the aha moment, the light bulb moment.

It is really pronounced with this little old lady that I talk to that’s like 70 some years old, and she’ll quibble and struggle with how it is that she perceives because she’s had a lifetime of experiences. And often times I’m just trying to get this to come through, trying to get this to come through, and all of a sudden maybe I trip through whatever the barrier is.

Usually it doesn’t work that way to try to press something through, but she’s got such a good heart that it can happen that way too. And so when it does, it’s like you just hear this huge in-breath, ahh, it’s an aha moment. She got it, and it doesn’t mean she can hold onto it. It was a very fast flash. It’s a sight. It’s a seeing.

And then the tendency is her basic nature is so slower and so she could fall back and it can veil right up again, and so I’m learning to try to figure out how to do this more smoothly because I have to jam it through. It runs counter to a person’s assimilation process.

So what was happening in your particular case was you were going at this at a pace, where first of all you are confronted with what it is that is your greater responsibility in terms of who and what you really are. That’s your first dream, where you are feeling it in the bones.

But because you’re in the outer, and not on the inner, because you’re in the physical body, you’re trying to sort this out by working with the outer characteristics, and so you are trying to rearrange that. You’re making your list. You’re thinking that this way you’ll catch up with it.

But that approach is disrespectful to the inner, because it’s the inner where the attention needs to be placed, and not in the outer. The outer is reflective of the inner. Yes, on some level you can say that the inner and the outer come together, but that’s just like light and sound are, you know, a way of looking at it they’re just at different speeds.

And in the last, you pull together the inner and the outer with your aha moment, with that flash that you got. That works that way over and over and over and over and over again. You need that inflection. You need that sight.

This is something that I pondered, and how funny I never made the association with the masculine and feminine like this before, I’ve made the association in terms of thinking, feeling, intuition, and sensation.

And I identify in myself the sensation being the imbalance, and when it’s in balance I have more of an alchemical side working. I’ve often noticed that when a woman is very subjected and holds something inside of herself as a great knowingness, that needs to be jostled through, that it’s almost like her thinking function is jumping around and when it suddenly hits and then out through the intuitional flash comes the knowing, that’s like a sight.

And that works for her. The trigger being the thinking, and in this case, the intuition being the knowingness that just comes through. And then can you hold that pace, that speed? Because the tendency is, because we live in the 99.9% world of senses, is the tendency then to go back to that world of sound, so to speak, instead of the world of light, the world where you mystically see it and get it. You mystically seeing something and getting it, causes it to come through.

The masculine being able to take what it sees and somehow or another function with it, in terms of the outer, that’s the alchemical linkage. Strictly speaking the alchemical is the feminine, but she doesn’t have the masculine. Strictly speaking the masculine is the mystical, the mystic, that doesn’t have the alchemical.

It is very interesting. What happens is you tend to have to, if you’re a woman, you have to find the masculine side of yourself, which is that light, that spark.

In other words, it is like it comes down. It’s like a seed thought or something. It comes down and it finds its correspondence on the plains of wholeness. Now, if you don’t have a greater relationship or connection with that, then you fiddle around and with your moods and mannerisms you make your checklist, and you’re caught up in your doingness.

And it ain’t gonna go very far. Well, you know… It nauseates you. I mean, you know, usually you find yourself all worn out. It should have worked. I mean, you know, you took great care in making these lists, and these lists made sense because you did hear something in the bones so to speak from which to generate the list.

Now, where one gets into trouble is it’s a little bit like the gambler, like the gambler that goes down let’s say and he gets on the slot machine and he hits the jackpot. He shouldn’t of course, statistically he’s going to lose, but once he hit this jackpot he gets to imagine he’s infallible and so he thinks he can repeat this over and over and over again, and now he’s hooked and now he’s lost.

Well, the same thing can happen when you feel something in your bones and you start to make your checklist. Sometimes something is still kind of alive yet, in the outer reflection, that does correspond a wee bit to this inner thing, and when that hits then you get to thinking that it works that way.

It was only by accident that it worked that way, that that something at the slower vibration hadn’t been left behind or something, that things had moved on or whatever, in terms of the speed of things, and so you then are inclined to indulge even more. And you’re inclined to put up barriers, hissy fit barriers to fight to make that work.

I mean, you’re right – these lists have gotta make it work. You’ve done your thing. These lists is where it’s at, and it’s only when you settle back that you can come to recognize that it’s this light bulb flash.

There are other ways of describing it too. Take for example dream interpretation. It’s almost somewhat of a list orientation, if you take a dream and try to understand it in terms of its symbolism.

However, the light of it, or the flash of it, comes from a knowingness that is on a mystical level. You just know it, and if you take and apply the symbolism, sometimes you’re right and sometimes you’re wrong.

And so what happens is most places where you have dream interpretation you have what this means and what that means kind of thing, and you have that kind of twisted perception.

It never jumps to the inner. It jumps to the outer correlation, which sometimes is okay and sometimes is not, but if you really feel it, it’s always missing something. It’s missing the overdrive. It’s missing the greater meaning. It might have a bit of a lesser meaning, and sometimes it misses that completely too, because things have passed it by. It’s dead energy, because it’s reflective.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Jumping to the Inner

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