Posts Tagged ‘being in service’

Spaceship-brian-fiesFollowing the dream from yesterday’s post (see Call of Duty),  Jeane had this dream image of returning to the alien planet. Because she has everyone’s tickets for the journey, she can be seen as taking on the responsibility of what has awakened in her, yet it’s not without its obstacles. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Then it feels like in the second dream, later in the morning, I’m trying to maybe get back to that planet from wherever I’ve been. And there are several of us that have to go, either I think two other people and myself, and then there’s a young person, I think a man, that’s helping us because we’re running to catch the plane or the transportation to the other planet.

And the people I’m with have gotten way ahead of me, but I realize I have the tickets, which are kind of strange looking, they must be about three feet long and only an inch wide. So I’ve got them all gathered in one hand, and I’m running down this hallway.

And I think this kid who is helping me, maybe had gotten the tickets for me, and then is running with me so we can catch up with the others. And I’m concerned that they’ll get there and they won’t realize they don’t have their tickets, or maybe they’ll get a little lost because we know the way better.

At the last minute it’s like I just run and jump and get on the back of the rocket ship, or whatever, that takes us there, or get inside it. Well, now I’m inside it, and I know the others are there somewhere. Now I have the dilemma of, did we remember our passports? It wasn’t like I was carrying anything, except then I see I have one of those little pods again, those little egg-shaped pods that you carry, that I seem to keep things in so I start opening it up.

It actually looks like a miniature ship inside. It’s kind of mechanical. Sure enough, stuffed in among the gears as I go scrambling through it is my passport, so I figure the others must have their passports, too. Now we just have to remember the way from the airport to wherever we go once we land.

John: Those dreams are easier to understand when you do an all feminine dream, because trying to understand it in the overallness is kind of difficult, because my mind tends to work and look at it in kind of a linear progressed way of looking at things. But you’re presenting a very linear progressed way of looking at things, and so it’s easier to understand.

The theme of course is this sense of following a responsibility, or a duty, in relationship to an understanding that’s awakened inside of you, and you’re having to confront various things that compromise it.

On the first dream, it was the idea of creating another way of rationalizing a self-gratification. In other words, it’s on another planet, so it’s okay. In the next dream, the tickets are like your orders, or your duty, and everything around the tickets and the composure of all of that has an anxiety to it.

So when you get speeded up, or anxious, you again betray the natural sense of being able to sit back and know, and feel, and carry, and recognize what is meant to be. So the key word again is veils, like one of the ways that you veil yourself from the bigger picture is like in the first dream, you veil yourself by creating a rationalization as to why something can exist because it’s about this over here, as opposed to something more direct.

And another rationalization that veils, although you wouldn’t call this word rationalization, you would call it an inability to hold the focus and attention or something, because there’s the anxiety that races out, and then that destroys the cadence, the presence, the auric nature of yourself, which can hear and catch up with and recognize what is needed in terms of tickets, and duty, or orders, or how it is that you’re meant to be in terms of the equation of things. If you get over anxious, then you abandon ship too.

The dream had the same subject in general. It just had within the dream two different ways in which you confine or constrict yourself in terms of hearing, and being with, that awakening, or that sense of greater knowingness.


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In these two dreams, John begins by seeking a deeper communication, through the image of a personal cell phone. It is the search for greater meaning in life. The second image, where the main characters are a pen and pieces of paper, signals a readiness to be in service – an essential step on the spiritual path. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The dream kind of has two parts actually, as if two separate dreams. And in the first dream, you and I have a cellular telephone. It works, it’ll get the job done, but it’s not our cellular telephone and it would be best if we had our own cellular telephone as opposed to this other cellular telephone that is somehow or another loaned out to us.

And so I’m sitting, evaluating the vibration of what it would feel like for us to have our own cellular telephone, with a greater sense of freedom, than us having to take and utilize this borrowed cellular telephone, which does get by, but leaves something to be desired.

It’s almost as if we flush something out, in terms of the meaning, more succinctly, with a knowingness it’ll be a lot easier, but if we’re still operating under biased conditions in terms of how things are about us, although that is revealing in its own way, it’s not as succinct as it could be.

In the next dream, which is the really loud dream that I had, it’s like I’m a pen, and I have a partner who is also a pen, and we’re stealing something from someplace, and I’ve retrieved whatever it is that I want to retrieve. I’m done with whatever it is that I’m trying to do. So I jump into a ream of paper and hide behind a couple sheets of paper, and of course this ream of paper is all packaged like 500 sheets, and this pen is sitting there hiding. And I’m yelling at my cohort, “Let’s go. Let’s get out of here.”

He replies back that he’s pausing to grab one last thing that is needed. Well, I say to him, “You know, that’s a good idea,” whatever it is that he was reaching to get because it was something that I had forgotten, or hadn’t realized that one needed that. But then all of a sudden, out of the place comes the owner or whatever, and he’s loaded for bear. He’s got a gun.

I go, “Oh no, we’re about to be turned into carbon dust. We’re going to bite the big one. We’re going to get riddled with bullets.” It’s like a cartoon character just carrying away like that. Then all of a sudden, and it’s as if we were going to hide somewhere near a pool of water, when all of a sudden we’re bailed out at the last possible moment, expecting the bullets to rain down on us, when this flash flood hits and we are swept out in the street.

And my partner reacts like, “Oh this is not good!” And my comment is, “I’m not sure this is so bad, because we’d just get riddled with bullets. And I see us being swept down the street just missing parked vehicles and whatnot by this flash flood. And finally the whole thing subsides.

And when it subsides of course, because we’re in this special packaging, there we are eventually coming to a halt from the flood waters. I don’t actually see the flood waters come completely to a halt, but they’re subsiding and you know that shortly they will. And there we’ll be, two reams of paper, each with its own special wrapping that protects it. There I am, as a pen, hiding under a couple sheets, and there he is, as a pen, hiding underneath a couple of sheets.

What does something like this mean? Well, it all has to do with catching up with something that’s meaningful, and is intended, and like in the first dream there was the attempt to vibrationally feel that through a listening center with cellular phones, and whatnot, that to begin with are not taken on as one needs to take them on. They’re like borrowed or something, and although that can work – if your listening center is proper enough, you can still make something out of it.

It’s better to catch up with how you are really meant to be, and in this dream, you’re continuing the theme in which there is a lot of symbolism between a pen and blank sheet of paper. A blank sheet of paper is said to be something that has gotten itself into a condition to where something can be written upon it, and that which can be written can then be effectuated, in terms of Ibn Arabi’s Governance of Man or whatever it’s called [Divine Governance of the Human Kingdom].

The pen has a unique significance, and paper, and the scribe, and all of those things just like we are a city in and of ourselves. And so, before one is thrown into the river of life, one shocks themselves by taking on a little bit much, and in this little bit much, in the shock effect of the river of life, you tend to forget.

You go from one state that is overwhelming, to another state that may be out of danger of what was about to get you on the inner, and another state that’s amnesic in the outer – but how are you going to catch up with it?

And the whole issue is going to be, when the flood waters of the sojourn into life more or less end, and as you’re then able to check out your well being, and you feel yourself what this means as a pen with a ream of blank paper safeguarded from the outer conditions by a special packaging, what that’s all about remains to be seen.

In other words, it’s not known but that’s more or less the conditions that you find yourself in. And I suppose a scenario that might have triggered a dream like that, is that first you go into the state of Nirvana, or into the all pervasive ocean of whatever it is that’s everything, and because this is a path of service and you come out of that – you don’t have to come out of it, but you do come out of it – and sojourn back into life for the service of mankind – and so I thought that was interesting.

I have never heard it presented quite like that or at least I hadn’t heard it completed as a statement in terms of, one makes the journey and then comes back into life because that’s the nature of this path. It’s almost like that caused an inflection inside of me, and I think it had something to do with the way this dream is triggered, and I think that the pen and paper have something to do with the assignment of it all, even though there’s such an amnesia and bewilderment that exists when you go from that state, back to this state, not knowing quite what it is that has to be recognized, or realized, or awakened.


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Today we continue the discussion between John and Ann (see Saying Yes to the Process and The Greater Part of You). The journey has now entered the realms of effecting changes in life through inner vibration, rather than outward “doing.” (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The kundalini energy is one third on this side and two thirds on the other side. It’s designed to open you up to the greater part of yourself. And when you open up to the greater part of yourself, then you come to find out that this path is about service. The reason why it’s put in those words is because you have a responsibility to the Whole.

And as you take on that responsibility of the Whole, you function differently. Now, how is it that you function? Any ideas of what this means are all wrong.

I wish I could remember Jeane’s dream where you use this energy to cause things to… designer energy. Instead of calling it divine energy, it’s like designer energy. And the way the designer energy worked was she naturally knew inside of herself how something needed to be, almost like a type of higher octave intuition – and she just felt that and that’s the way it was. It wasn’t a thought process.

To the masculine it’s a thought process and the thought process then leads to power and control and gets in the way.

And so she was working, not in terms of matter, but in terms of a sense of overall vibration. Now, it takes the thought matter, or the creative, the inflection of the masculine that has its intent, it takes that to hit the feminine and then when it hits the feminine what awakens is something that doesn’t go out and go through a one, two, three, and four checklist.

For the feminine to get it, it has to drop its doingness, however, it just naturally carries it. For the feminine to get it, it has to be free of any kind of masculine controlled rules. And it does not realize how enslaved it is. For example, if Jeane bitches at my driving, the bitching is coming from a masculine place.

It’s a damage that she’s suffered. If she can let go of that then something changes. In other words, the thing that’s the hardest for the feminine is letting something be; letting it die.

The key is how to do that and be aware of that too, and not have an insecurity, just know that that is wondrous.

How do you do that? Well, the feminine can’t readily do that, it’s the hardest thing. And so the feminine stays asleep, stays subjective with the energy instead of objective, instead of bringing it to a clarity.

If the feminine can make this subjective come out into kind of an intuition that works on a vibrational level that has nothing to do with anything in the outer, it now has the designer energy, it’s working with the designer energy.

Now, this designer energy has to work in a very, very different way now, because the light of the collective is gone, it’s out. Which means it used to be in the past but when you had… Let’s say you have a certain principle inside yourself that you know real well, that comes from a deeper depth of an essence inside of yourself, or we’ll call it a light inside of yourself, and now you are going out trying to touch that in the outer.

That’s a type of trying to bring an inner into an outer in which the collective doesn’t respond, doesn’t get the echo anymore, has lost the echo; in a sense that light has gone out. If you do battle with it, your light will go out.

Now what you’re doing is you are challenging it just like any other kind of conflict and it consumes you. You’re not the dark energy. You have to know… There is a time when you have to work with dark energy, but to begin with you take and you conflict and fight something, it will destroy you, it will cause you to lose the heartfulness of your own being, and the sight of your own being. It will cause you to go into kind of a mood and a confusion.

It will cause you to become dumb, to lose what we call a type of consciousness where you have a certain sight or something. So, what you have to do is you have to somehow or another hold onto this designer flow in the way that the feminine works. It’s called in the teacher’s book, knowing how to love without leaving traces.

Let’s make up an example. Let’s say that… and you see this all the time in the masculine, I mean Jeane sees this all the time in me. She sees this all the time in me and what she sees is that I have a kind of imbalance, so if I see that she sees that I’m in an imbalance that doesn’t help any…

Because if I see that she sees that I’m in an imbalance, then I see what she’s doing to try to work with that or cope with that and that doesn’t work, because that’s still on a masculine level. But if you can see an imbalance, keep it to yourself and work with the vibration from another flick of energy.

In other words, change it to another dimension. You can then change that and that person, and if you’re directing it at your husband, won’t even know that you did anything. He’ll just go from being angry or upset to feeling wonderful – and won’t even know why. He’ll just be lifted.

We try to do this accidentally all the time. In other words, let’s say you’re going along and you had a rough day, and you’re feeling miserable, and you say you know, I’m worthless. I think I’ll just go to a movie. Maybe if I come out of the movie my mood will be different because I’ll get caught up into the theme of the movie. Hopefully it’s a good movie. I can’t go to a horror movie, it might make me worse, but if I go to this movie over here it’s supposed to be kind of a tearjerker or something. Maybe that will help.

We try to do this externally all the time. But it’s meant to be done internally. You do it internally. And so that’s how you change things. You cannot shift anything in the collective anymore. Working with the collective, because the collective has no light, yet you’re intertwined with everything, in terms of your life.

In other words, the collective as it operates has lost the reverence or the linkage that’s subtle. In other words, it’s constantly reverting to its own devices. And yet you are intertwined with it, so you can take your light and you can change things. This is what it means when it is said that a Sufi can put the world in his heart. It’s not like it fills it up because… it’s not like you have only a certain appetite capacity. Everything can go inside.

Thus, off of that singular light, your light, you might as well call it a type of microcosm now, just like going to the atom and breaking it all the way down to where you’re at the essence of everything. You have put yourself into the ability to design energetically.

You did not do anything physically, however, because the physical is a reflection only. Somehow one has to go through that kind of a door to be able to do that, and you get closer to it through your dream.

When the dreams get to the point where they actually put a kind of a pressure on you, the pressure gets put on you more when you develop a closeness to the teacher.

In other words, you have to get to a point where you’re less than dust, or in other words, merged in the teacher. The teacher then is like the emissary. It’s an illusion again, but it’s a means by which you go to the Whole.

Otherwise, you take everything that you receive and you turn it around in terms of your heart, to it being about yourself. And it’s in some personal context, so you have to lose that sense of self in order to have a sense of this greater sight of the Wholeness.

And so it becomes important to develop this connection of depth to the teacher. And of course the teacher makes the joke that they have this practice where they look out for each student everyday. They kind of naturally, no effort.

However, if the student can do something that can go off on a tangent, your bad mannerism or whatever… and they no longer are holding a quality somewhere inside themselves, then they can’t get what they need.

Now, this is a strange kind of getting. I mean we’re so used to thinking of getting from the standpoint of putting dollars and cents in the bank or something. This is something in which something opens up to the intertwining of yourself that has been veiled from you. And only when you let go of trying to hold a full container cup about yourself, is that possible.

That’s why it’s also said that this is a practice that you take one step back from yourself to find yourself. Another expression is that the light is found in a crack in your nature. Because otherwise you’ve got everything all solidified and nailed down. Another expression is that you access through the rear door because the front door of yourself is so guarded with your defense mechanisms.

There was another one I was going to say too. I mean, you have all of these little statements and nobody really knows what they mean, and they all have to do with getting outside of the limitations that you carry yourself in.

Now of course you can see what it means when they say, die before you die. All you’re dying to is the identifications that are outside of who you really are.

So it causes one to ponder the statements like, God is light, in Him there is no darkness…

And yet of course that makes one think that statement sounds like a duality because it’s all actually light except where there is a type of dazzling darkness that is a greater accentuation of light, and then after that is supposedly the light of creation, or green, which is even greater than that, that most people fail to get because they keep thinking that there’s something somewhere else or something.

All of it is a probing into a state of nothingness. In other words, the various ways that you are able to perceive things takes you to various states inside of yourself, and the ultimate state or station is when there’s nothing that you’re not – you’re everything.
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