Out of a Stillness

When we create something, we can say that it is a reflection of what is inside of us. It’s not exactly what is inside of us because it’s not the whole of us. So it reflects just a certain aspect of that whole. A human life is just such a reflection of the whole, but we, having consciousness, can reconnect back to that wholeness while still being only a reflective part. That is the beauty of the human journey and possibility. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the meditation dream, I’m confronted with an image of how it is energetically forming in manifestation. By that I mean, I can denote, or recognize, or see that I am like an energetic that sensates, or floats, or hangs with the human body so that there are the outer experiences. And that what I’m really doing is setting up a reflection from a subrogated, inner essence way – that is so much more. 

What I am noticing, that is actually disturbing about all of this, is that the energetic that I see about myself, that it is tied to a heart breath, and it is this heart breath that is the perspective that comes down, or comes out, or hangs out from the all-pervasive stillness that is somewhere else. 

And so, to be speaking about it bluntly, this is kind of the state that exists for a human being’s experientiality, in terms of when the out-breath is astir. In other words, you notice that there’s a substance, then, that is around and about and part of like a journey that vies for the heart, from some sort of projective, or objective even, or whatever you want to call that, that has a density to it, and it can have a lightness to it, it can have all of that because it’s the in-breath and then the out-breath. 

And it’s where and how we are, we are projective, and all levels of beingness, that are in manifestation, exist in the breath, that has come out of a stillness into a flow. 

So, we learn to talk about this play referencing and looking at what’s called Kundalini energy, which is how this bifurcation is described. And you can get into the archetypes and everything else about the Kundalini energy, it’s all an aspect of looking at the compositions of the breath, or the Kundalini energy as denotable on the breath.

And such experiences correspond inflectively, in a back and forth way, because the breath is both out-breath and in-breath. For example, when an ever expansiveness exists from the in-breath, this is like a flip from the contractive outbreath, it’s like flipping it. In other words, it comes down as a contractive out-breath, and then flips to an expansiveness of the in-breath; we go back and forth like this. The correlation in the outer from the in-breath expansiveness is the out-breath’s contraction back into a density. 

This is what happens when you’re out of the stillness. It’s kind of like counter-reflective in-breath. In other words, you can look at the in-breath as counter-reflective to the out-breath, or the out-breath counter-reflective to the in-breath because there just is this yo-yoing back and forth. 

So the subject, then, is the subject of the breath in terms of what it is like to be outside of stillness. So, then, what is that that’s outside of stillness? And you come to denote that, instead of talking about it as Kundalini energy, use another word now you talk about it as spirit energy that’s upon the breath.

So there’s a fine line, I mean, as a way of saying spirit energy and Kundalini energy. And the in and out of the breath are pretty much just ways of saying the same thing. It’s just that you might get a little slightly different sense descriptively, when you try to use these other words as well. 

So when you go through the states of breath, you’re yo-yoing to and fro, reflectively, you’re vying for the heart as a stillness mirror because the heart has a stillness somewhere within it to mirror – in order to break the spell of the yo-yoing – so that you can settle for the stillness.

What I’m talking about is a dynamic that exists in the stillness has given way to breath. The reflective experiences upon the breath, that we denote as a Kundalini energy, again, back to another way of pointing to the same thing, is just the spirit energy going back and forth. And upon the inner in-breath there is an expansiveness, repeating again, and upon the out-breath a contractiveness. 

So, as an in breath, there is a letting go that’s like an accentuation. And then there’s the coming together magnetically, and in Kundalini energy is considered the birthing force, that’s the out-breath’s predominant quality. 

So when the journey upon the breath is transcended, if you could use the word transcended, or when you just go into the emptiness, or the nothing-but-nothingness, therein lies the stillness, which is outside of the spirit energy. Or, to say this another way, is outside of manifestation which involves spirit energy breath. 

So, the significance is, every effect upon an individual with regard to action/reaction is breath work. To extend to all levels, from stillness to presence, is an interesting effect. Or, to put this in another way, a human being has access to all the planes, from the states of manifestation, i.e., in sound, to the states of light, often called the other side, and also beyond the light to stillness.

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The Best of Both Worlds

bestIt can’t be repeated too often: humans are the meeting point between what has been created (matter) and what created it (God). Humans are the only creature that can claim that relationship with the universe, and it is an incredibly important role. Unfortunately, we mostly have lost our way and abdicated our higher responsibilities to the whole. But it is never too late to choose the whole over our personal desires. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)


Jeane: The last little snippet I remember just before I woke up was it feels like I’m with some people in an area where there’s some partying going on, and there’s one man that’s maybe been kind of wayward before, so we’re kind of correcting him and we’ve sent him off.

He’s gone to his bed and then this kind of large black woman who’s going to kind of be his partner now, I think, she kind of goes to get him when it’s time, but she’s kind of being funny about it. I think she walks up to the bed and lifts up her dress and flashes him or something, and he’s acting all suddenly coy or something. And so we’re wondering what’s going on.

Well, there’s this girl hidden under the covers, so the woman there had come to kind of be with him she kind of gets in a snit and goes off. Well, then he’s mad at the girl under the covers because she’s actually got her clothes on. It’s like she just jumped in bed and hid in order to cause some kind of uproar, I guess.

I’m just observing all of this. This is just something I’m looking at for some reason.

John: That’s a dream that portrays a reaction in your nature, which keeps you from recognizing how it is that all aspects of matter relate to the essence, or to the light, and that if you are a kind of matter that is trying to control your own sense of closeness and proximity, if you’re trying to attain or maintain a connection that is, so to speak, personalized according to your own predilection, the tendency then is to not realize that matter per se is just an overallness.

In other words, it’s just the light has been transformed into matter. In other words, the sound has taken form from the light and that as long as one takes and then sees that they have an affinity to try to go back to the essence of light, and if one is trying to do this by way of their own separate ideologies, and values, and whims, and mannerisms, that is when you don’t realize the fact that all of matter is intertwined and interconnected.

As long as you somehow still see it as having its distinctions, whereby you have to fight or struggle to maintain your space within that, then that is when you simply go around and around with some nuance inside of yourself that keeps you doing battle with how something needs to be in the plane of creation.

So it’s very interesting. I wonder… let’s see how can one take and make that applicable to the degree to which you try to aim to please, or to relate to something that, on one level, you feel is out of your reach but still attempt to relate to it.

If you approach things like that, then you are going to find yourself making a kind of doingness distinction. And if you’re making a doingness distinction, then you’re violating the overallness. Even though it’s done in a plane of sound, you’re violating the oneness that exists here.

All of life is a oneness, too, just like the essence is a oneness. And when you violate that, then you’re trying to sift and sort this over that, as opposed to seeing yourself as all of that. There’s a way of oneness of the feminine that there can be all of that.

That’s where the idea of complexes comes in. A complex is something in which what has occurred, in terms of outer misalignment, has caused a way of trying to correct or to find a missing link – as if there’s just a thing – that is distinguishable in matter, as if matter is all separate. And, in doing so, then you throw yourself around reactively.

So what happens is that the inflections, the sparks that hit, can’t give you the information from the doorway, or from the in-betweenness, between the inner and the outer in that split second moment. You can’t get the actual guidance because you have a nuance, or paranoia, or a perception of fear, or however you would place that, that exists based upon a kind of woundology or however you want to characterize that, that is still based upon the plane of existence, or the aspect of how it is that you intertwine with matter.

And you’re supposed to be able to intertwine with matter as a wholeness, just like light is a wholeness. And when you have both like that, that’s when you have the guidance. That’s interesting. It’s an odd, interesting dream to understand.

So the reason why you have such allergies in the morning is it’s a type of saying “no” to the interval that’s in-between. In other words, you have a reverb from it. It causes a type of dullness or a type of staleness to flicker out as if this predominates, instead of just popping through with the inflection that is visible at that moment in which you’re in this in-between state.

When you’re in this in-between state, you’re in a state of calm, you’re in a state of quietness, you’re in a state of knowingness, you’re in a state of resonance, you’re in the moment in which all is happening.

That is the in-between, that is the point of an aliveness that is a nothingness. But if you’re hit by it, or if you’re sitting attempting to be speeded up but aren’t quite hitting the interval, two things happen. One is you can feel your body getting hot as if it’s trying to breakthrough a crescendo, and you can then feel real nauseous or allergy-like affected, as if there’s something still pulling you back to maintain a type of density of nature.

Ultimately this is meant to get to a point of normality. In other words, the interval in which there’s the spark and all of that, that’s where the coincidences, the meaningful coincidences all happen in that moment and whatnot. That’s when the guidance and everything is quickened. That is when there is no imaginative, it’s just all flow.

It’s where you have the best of both worlds. You have the world of where you have the thoughts alive but in a state of complete ignorance, and when you have the world of flow of essence most alive but in a state of such wholeness that there is nothing; it’s the drop in the ocean yet.

So if you’re having allergies, constant allergies that are affected by things until you somehow or another pity patter yourself back together one way or another, this all infers to something in terms of the type of holding back, or no or something, in your nature, the reason why that exists.

Just like reactions are the same thing. The degree to which one reacts when something speeds up or whatever and the way that they come across, and maybe they’re off the ground or ungrounded – that’s a type of saying no, too.

The no-ness is actually something recognizable in creation. When a plane goes through the speed of sound and sets off the sonic boom there’s a loudness. Now, ultimately, you can refine that and get that to the point where you can do it smooth enough where it isn’t just that crack point in which there is the depth perception like you dreamt in your first dream, where there’s an above and below, and an east and a west, and a moment in the middle where you are able to be at peace with the crocodile.

That’s what they have this mastered down to now. You have the jets flying overhead all the time and you don’t hear them popping the sound barrier and creating one sonic boom after another. They have learned how to treat this point between kind of a flicker point of the world of sound and then something slightly more. They have learned how to embrace that. That’s a scientific example, so to speak, of how one can see this in an outer consequence and know that on an inner level it can be done with the same manner of balance.

And thus you can come to see how it is that one’s nature creates all of one’s illnesses. These are all ways in mannerisms of doing a type of denial, or saying no, and the body tends to reflect that.

And that’s why there’s this whole sense of there being a kind of danger on this path because you create this way, in this flicker point and everything, you create. When you create, well, how does something in the physical that is trying to relate in its density yet, how is that going to work out? The physical then takes the blows. It’s an interesting schematic because the physical says I am to take the blows in order to try to get to this in-between state. What a peculiar game.

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It’s In the Details

detail-van-vleugelsIn today’s dream, John finds himself as the odd man out, being in a group with three other women. The women see, and represent, the Wholeness of the situation. The masculine sees, and represents, the particulars, or the details of things. A balance of both views is required to maintain the safety of the overall. Finding this balance is a huge struggle within each developing person. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Well, my dream works with the particularity of something. In other words, you have the general motif, and I have the set responsibility.

And so the way it shows itself up is, I’m one of the four people who have the responsibility to ensure that the guidelines governing the workings of a body, which I am part of, have no conflicts of interest.

This body is composed, these inner workings, the inner responsibility is made up of three women and me. In other words, we’re like the higher order that makes sure that the will of the overall body is free and clear from any conflict in terms in terms of how it’s put together.

Because we have to be clear about this, and it’s very subtle at times, we tend to remain kind of in an inner sanctum within ourselves, so it’s considered an honor and a noble thing when we go out into the courtyard or something amongst the people. And the people are always excited to see us and will stand around waiting if we’re supposed to come out at some appointed time.

Our duty as the inner sanctum, the four of us, is to make sure that the fabric of the society is not only not affected by anyone with a presence that is not right, but also with an interest like in the Whole, an ownership interest or a place in the Whole that contaminates the overall freedom and flow and functionality.

The image is, I see us filing out to their welcome, and we’re going like in a lineup, and it’s kind of two women go first, and then there’s me, and then there is another woman. I’m the only guy, and I would have been perfectly happy, and would have preferred if it were possible to have stayed back and let the women come out, but that is not how it works. We are the leadership team.

So, we file out amongst the people and the crowd is ecstatic to see us, but I see myself cringing with embarrassment. I can hardly look anybody in the eye. I’m very, very self-conscious. These three women do not seem to be aware consciously of anything being askew, but I’m aware of it, and I do not feel worthy to be there and would prefer to hide.

I cannot look these people in the eye because, from my inner positioning of being able to see something from within, I see a problem in the way that the order of the body is put together, and it has to do with a type of ownership interest that conflicts with what we all deem responsible. In other words where there isn’t a contaminate that sits there at a deep inner level that prevents something from being as dynamic as it’s meant to be – and I’m aware of it.

But all the women don’t seem to be aware of it, because they don’t look at things that way. They’re looking at the overall energetic of how something needs to be in the Whole, but I’m aware of this undermining little component. And I see it as my responsibility, and my duty, to make sure that that’s not there – and it’s there. So I’m feeling so bad about this, it is all I can do to show my face.

I could see in the eyes of the people that they trust us explicitly, and are standing out there to greet us and honor us, which is how it’s meant to be. In other words, that’s how it’s set up to be. It works like that.

It’s an odd position to be in, because I know that the women are in the right space to be swept up in this coming together or communion with the people, but I’m not. I’m having an extremely hard time justifying just being there because of this guilt, or self-conscious, that I carry because what I know is sitting there.

It may not be a problem yet, but it has to be fixed or it will be, and it’s my role to have seen this, and I missed it, and there it is, affecting the overall system. So for as long as this remains an imbalance, I can’t do anything but see myself as holding back in this self-conscious embarrassment, restraint, and shame.

To come out before the people while this still exists to me is out of place, as if I’ve let everyone down, even though they don’t know it, don’t see it yet. That doesn’t matter; I see it and that is where it matters, in terms of my heart.

In writing what this is like, I write: the vibration is that I’m aware of an inner energetic imbalance that has to do with a detail regarding the order of things that has its aliveness, this detail, and that detail is such that it could destabilize the Whole.

But what’s awkward is, at this point in time, I seem to be alone in this. The three women comrades are amnesic to this. I mean, they don’t look at the detail and specifics of things. They look at how the overallness is and they tend to feel that they’re handling that.

I mean, this detail really, really bugs me. They’re okay, and the people are euphoric, and they have a right to be euphoric, and they’re carrying themselves as they need to carry themselves as they go out amongst the people. It’s just me that’s tenuous.

In other words, what I see is I can’t really look at them in the eyes, because I see the impending problem. In other words, I see that in between, and as long as it remains, I’m not able to be in a place that is able to merge, or to come through, in a way that connects like it’s meant to be.

In other words, if I’m able to put together a system and a process that flows, and this is very, very difficult and this is a problem that always exists when you have to function like this, is that you’re always rolling things around to see if you have it right.

And the problem with rolling things around to see if you have it right is, you can easily get caught up in the detail and screw up, because it’s important to also feel the overallness of what is right in the Whole, which is that feminine quality.

The masculine is that intangible fourth element that makes how something is to be felt and carried in the Whole. It’s what makes it complete. It’s what makes it secure. It’s what makes it safe. It’s what makes it balanced.

The feminine carries the overall vibration that everybody can abide in and be in, but the masculine is what safeguards it and makes it okay, makes it so that it’s sustainable. And what I’m seeing is not sustainable, and it may be okay now, but I know that it won’t be in the future.

I know that this is a latent problem, and I’m not sure what to do about it. I haven’t solved it, and of course I also know that the problem with solving it has to do with somehow or another being able to step back from it, too.

In other words, this is tricky because you have to make huge shifts too, so you can’t get too caught up in the way something is, as a sense of overall feel to it. You can’t get too caught up in that, because you have to be cognizant of how this little thing can distort, or disrupt, or change the overallness – even though it hasn’t done that yet.

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