Posts Tagged ‘breaking free of inner resistance’

Adam-and-Eve-twinsFinding true energetic balance in oneself is a key to being able to access and hold the greater depths, or spaces, within. In this dream, Jeane’s resistance to a full acceptance of her inner masculine sets up a violent confrontation. Yet it’s not really a nightmare, but it does reveal what is preventing Jeane on her journey to Wholeness. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: What I remember of my first dream is, it felt like it takes place out on the hillside. It’s almost like people, they’re not really staying in their homes. They’re staying out here.

There’s supposed to be some kind of supervision when there are couples, but it almost feels like in the couples, they’re a danger to each other in a way, or actually within the couple – like the man might be a danger to the woman. And there are people that are supposed to make sure that they keep things safe.

I’m more of an observer in this, I think. It’s almost like you feel like some of the men are trying to kill the women, their wives actually. And so they’ve been somewhat separated. But on the hillside, people have to sometimes come together to help each other, and I’m kind of observing this.

Well, in all of this coming together, suddenly one man stabs the woman to death, but actually says that she fell on the knife, or something like that, like it was an accident; he didn’t mean it to happen, and he kind of gets away with it.

I’m kind of trying to argue the other side, like I don’t trust this, so I’m trying to keep everybody under observation or something, in all of this running around that goes on.

That’s about all I really remember from that dream. I’m upset that anyone even believed him, but they seemed to. It’s like he could get away with it.

John: What you are describing is a very odd way of describing it, but you’re looking at an overall condition, and the overall condition you look at is a setting that is like on a slippery slope, in which the traits that you carry have a crack or a break in them. They’re not held together consistently, and the crack or the break that they have in them creates a problem in terms of holding something together.

In other words, there’s wounding that happens when the masculine energy actually violates the feminine energy of overallness. And it’s hard to keep the overallness together, because it’s on the slippery slope. And you’re just looking at a particular set setting on the slippery slope, and there’s all of this stuff going on that is failing to hold a stableness and that there is kind of an attitude you have in that you feel that what is taking place, the result of it, is not being properly held accountable. It is getting away with it.

What you’re basically describing is a set condition upon which you carry yourself, in which there is this confused gap that isn’t able to sustain itself with a focus.

The way we were dreaming last night, I was looking at how I carry a particular characteristic in terms of how I go about doing things. I carry this particular characteristic or trait in my nature. Left to my own devices I actually shut down to a certain degree with this particular trait. I’m not as open as often times people are when I meet them. I hold a certain rigidity and I often judge myself in terms of this rigidity because I have to then come out of this rigidity in order to relate to them.

This set quality upon which one carries themselves is kind of something that one takes on in terms of being part of, and in, a dense world. It’s the trait that you develop when you learn to chop wood and carry water, so to speak, or get grounded and rooted in life.

So what you’re doing is, you’re seeing where, in the overallness that you’re carrying, in terms of yourself, you have this area in which you leak energy, in which you do not hold that characteristic and that trait and, therefore, you don’t hold your full presence like you could be holding your full presence.

This dream is explaining to you, or showing you, how it is that you dissipate energy, in terms of attitude, or reactivity, or anger, or frustration. It’s interesting, as I hear this dream, what I find interesting about it is you have to carry a real expansive nature because you are meant to be more of a container, and you’re meant to be more subjective in terms of how you’re able to appreciate, feel, and see things. Your seeing being subjective, not objective,

And yet this dream is telling you that your subjective clarity is somewhat biased because there is a component of yourself, the blackboard side of yourself that is rooted in life with the subjective clarity to things, that the degree to which you are able to, in your overallness, take into account what is going on, is biased or affected to a certain degree, by a mannerism that you still carry toward what is going on that isn’t properly and completely linked yet, in terms of your masculine and feminine side.

And that what you’re doing to keep this from coming together, is you’re still holding out some sort of judgment in terms of what is fair or unfair, or appropriate or inappropriate, in terms of how something should be mediated, meaning that what you see, you feel that the standards aren’t right in terms of what the masculine can get away with.

And this bothers you, and because this bothers you, this will then affect your sense of a natural knowingness because it will act as a filter to keep you from getting the information more purely from your subjective side of yourself.

See how that worked? That’s quite a quality catching up with how you carry yourself, so that you can take and know things. And when you carry something that’s a little misaligned, it keeps you from being able to get complete and proper unbiased readout – in your overallness.


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Today’s dreams explore the territories of how a person feels themselves in a dream. Within the understanding that we are all of the characters that appear in our dreams, an overall consideration is, what is our relationship to them? Do we feel that things are working out? Are they flowing easily with the next thing needed just appearing? Or, do we struggle and get further and further away from what we seek to accomplish or make happen?

Feeling a sense of ease is one dynamic that can show us where we are, in terms of allowing something new to awaken or occur. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I have two little snippets of dreams. In one of the dreams I seem to have gone out in the neighborhood where I’m living, and I find out that this woman that I used to know that was a client, that I thought had maybe even died by now, but she’s living in a home nearby. So we run into each other.

She’s living like in some kind of a care home. I decide to take her out. When I go down to take her out, then a little boy also comes along with us. I drive them to a nearby town and they want to go out, kind of like on a boardwalk, and see the ocean. But the little boy kind of doesn’t want to stay right where we are and goes down some steps.

It’s almost like initially I lose him and have to find him again. They want to go out with me on this little boat that goes out on the ocean, and it’s a very little boat like a little raft, and then it’s almost like a scooter or something.

I get on it, and they get on it with me, and there’s just room for the three of us and we can ride somewhere. So we get kind of wet and I take them out in the water a ways and then come back to where we get on and off it.

Then I take them out a little ways and I’m trying to get them all situated and comfortable on it, and I turn around and I see in the distance coming for us, are these really huge waves and I haven’t quite got them all seated and strapped in and things, and I’m just trying to get all of that done before this really huge waves come to where we are and sends us up and scoots us somewhere forward really fast.

And I think a second time I went to take them out and took them somewhere to see the mountains but I don’t remember that bit.

John: So this is a prophetic dream, but it’s also a prophetic dream that in the first part has a breakthrough.

I can’t remember how you used to dream this before, but you somehow or another weren’t comfortable, weren’t completely at home, and weren’t completely at ease with the little boy that you were connecting with and finding inside of yourself, or basically kind of a natural understanding of how something comes together and works.

In this particular dream you seem to be catching up with that. And the reason why it’s a prophetic dream, as well as a breakthrough dream, is this part’s the breakthrough, but the prophetic part is “Uh-oh,” because now things are about to get really rocky, and rough, and big waves and the whole bit, and you’re going to need all of that; you’re going to need that linkage.

It’s almost as if a certain ease occurred in terms of you finding it last night, just in time for you to now get out into the journey and flow of life, to ride the waves of things, only to find that things are going to be much different. Where you had been able to exist and almost have a break or kind of a repose from what is intended, or meant to be, or is coming.

Now you are going to have to be hit with that. Now you’re going to be confronted with that and, fortunately, you had the breakthrough to be able to utilize, so you won’t be so thrown around, even though the dream shows you thrown around. So you’re going to be thrown around, but the breakthrough is what’s going to help you.

Jeane: Then I had another snippet of a dream where I seem to have gone out in the neighborhood, and there’s a football game going on. I don’t really know how to play football, but I seem to get involved in the game.

I remember that I seem to be playing with a tennis shoe on my left foot, and my right foot is bare. And my right foot is what I have to kick the football with.

I seem to go out in the field – it’s even a little muddy and stuff. I kick the football and I seem to do fairly well, but it’s partly because the opposition team also is just kind of goofing off. It feels like once they really focus on how they’re playing I’m not sure how well I’m going to do because I’ve never played this game before, but I’m doing my best to participate.

John: You’re kicking with the right foot?

Jeane: Yes, but it’s bare. I don’t have a shoe on it.

John: What this dream is doing is, it’s very similar to the first dream, in that you’re going through kind of an epiphany excitement, or realization, or recognition inside, in terms of how it is that you’re able to fit in to a scenario. And of course the scenario is the big picture or the wholeness of life.

The dream is showing that, here you are, in something that is beyond your ordinary normal straightaway comprehension. In other words, you can’t say that you’ve got this all figured out and nailed down. And yet what you’re doing is able to somehow or another make inroads; it works out for it.

You can kick the ball. You can kick it in the rain. You can kick it under muddy conditions, or you can kick it with a barefoot, and you look like a natural at it, but you’re the last one to get that memo. You’re just able to see that you are able to function and do that. And a dream like that is intended to show you that you have caught up and recognized a particular shift in terms of how it is that something is meant to awaken or open up inside of you.

Perhaps the positive aspect, if you’re not awakened, you don’t feel the fullness of breath after a dream like that is because, as you say, it’s happening almost in such an overall way for you that the level of elation and whatnot rising up hasn’t quite caught up. But somehow or another, I feel that there’s the sensation that should be there in kind of a sense of peacefulness, or an at ease, that’s greater than normal, simply because the usual ordeal of having to hold a space in the outer, has lost a certain awkwardness, a certain need to try to probe out to make the connection.

It has kind of fallen away. At least for the moment in this dream it’s fallen away, maybe another component could be thrown in and then you’ll be back at it. But it’s like you seem to have a reprieve there, and whenever one sees the reprieve, one feels that there needs to be, and should be, the corresponding characteristic and quality, almost like an agreement world on an energetic level, that rises up within to make note, or take note, or to bless the situation, so to speak, in terms of how you feel yourself.

This seems to have been kind of a theme last night, that there was something that one was getting even though one may not have necessarily noticed it at the time, in terms of the scenario of things, because in my dream there is an excitement about reaching, or having, or connecting with the placement, finally.

In prior dreams there was a struggle, and in the struggle an uncertainty existed as I sought to figure the uneasiness out. In other words, what was happening in those prior dreams was that on a deep, deep inner level I could know something, but then in an outer level I would find myself still identifying with the senses and the mind.

In this dream, somehow or another something had been gotten right; I’d found a placement that was exciting. As a consequence I was in an elated, celebratory mood over having finally gotten it right. Behind that there was a conviction of how this is meant to be, that I’ve never carried before.

In the past I might have a knowing on the higher self level, but as I woke up, or came closer to awake, or started feeling my mannerisms, a bewilderment would kind of soak in because my sense and mind would come into the equation. And when one gets flooded by outer appearances, then you start to grope in the reflections again, and then you’re unable to hold onto the inner recognition.

Somehow or another there was an inner recognition that had peeked through, that had flashed through, and was getting acknowledged. And see, you were getting acknowledged at a breakthrough, but then came the prophetic part only to have to deal with the big waves now.

The scenario in the dream is actually a two-fold scenario. At the dream group I made some comments regarding the individual light in relationship to the collective light, which of course the statement is that the collective light is out. You can’t get it, and therefore something can’t shift.

I stated that to place attention there, meaning the outer light, as if one is going to try to embrace all of that and somehow or another coax it along to where something is there to come together, is a waste of time. There’s no resonance with the collective in getting it on its own.

The collective draws their clarity from looking at the outer for its guidance, in other words to the reflections of the outer.

Of course, Lynn did the best job of explaining that by indicating that such and such a magazine really helped her to read that. She said that she could get hints about things. Earlier she was making expressions about how something is kind of nice in the world, just living in the outer world. And all of that was denoting and looking at things from an outer to an inner, and even though it was difficult, I pointed out that the flow was from the inner into the outer, and what the mind can understand, in terms of trying to look at the “movie” from an outer and thinking you can get to the inner that way, is very little.

I also realize that there’s the esoteric tradition, and then there’s the tradition in which Hazrat Inayat Khan indicated that if there was 10,000 people they might be able to make a difference in the world, because they worked with things kind of recognizing how something could be shifted and changed.

And Shah pointed out that a person, in terms of growing, needed to apply themselves. They needed to put themselves into an action into life, and try to be the best they could be at that action into life. And that then led to kind of an esoteric understanding that could naturally lead to that awakening inside one’s self, where you did kind of a hidden work.

But otherwise if that step still needed to happen, you were still then trying to resolve something as if a cast of 10,000 is needed to make that difference. This is a really interesting way of pointing out how the inner light needs to awaken in order to effectuate something, and that when that comes across then it finds a connection in which it reaches a higher mind quality in which that naturalness, of what can be revealed there, just naturally starts to ensue.

Of course, the meaning of my dream that I just had is apparently what I was reaching to, or trying to touch inside of myself, is seen more spot on than I realize. An elation existed in my dreamworld as a kind of confirmation of getting it.

Something that I used to see myself do once in a great while long, long ago where I’d get on the jazz, so to speak, and things would just flow. And what would come out from inside would just be amazing, and I’d have to sit there in bewilderment and watch that because it was coming from an inner and coming straight out.

Essentially, each person kind of carries their own connection to a type of inner light, and you get it instantaneously. And you don’t have to sort it out with ambiguity. It just comes to you.

With the dream group it was a jerking and a shaking that had a certain uneasiness because it was not something that came down smoothly because everyone was more comfortable kind of sitting in their predicament of things because they were still trying to make this work from their outer to inner mentality and so that part was hard.

This sort of stuff can flow that easily from a naturalness that will just kind of appear, which is already here, but it comes from within and it can’t be figured out in terms of trying to cobble together the collective pieces.
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Jeane: In this dream, my husband and I are going to our new home. It’s in a tower apartment where we drive our car inside the building up to our floor. There’s a security guard from India who seems to both tease us and threaten us as though he can go into our home and have the run of the place.

As we drive up to our floor we are somewhat apprehensive. Then we see a woman from India, who’s a neighbor. She has come out of her unit and is standing there shooting at us with a gun filled with fluid. We seem to get a rifle or a gun that’s similar, and we shoot her with the fluid.

The fluid runs down her body and then we come to our apartment unit. There’s another man from India who’s coming out of the gate, and we’re annoyed and wary, but he says he’s the real security guard and that he’s making sure everything is okay. We don’t know if we believe him because of the other guard we’ve seen. 

About this time I get tired of these people threatening us, so I show him that I have a real gun behind my back. I tell him that I’m just not willing to play this game where they keep coming in and out.

John: Well, the theme of this dream is gaining access. You’re trying to reach a place within (driving inside the building) that represents a center that, for you, exists within this situation that you’re facing.

So what you’re describing is a process of finding what is there to open up. You enter the building and come upon a security guard from India, which speaks of an ancient connection for you. He represents the first gate you must travel through.

As you pass through the first gate and start climbing, accessing deeper within, you have to contend with little resistances that are attempting to keep you asleep – to keep you from a deeper awakening. In other words, they can shoot you with some numbing fluids, or you can struggle to push back.

You struggle to do something (firing the fluids back), and as you get closer to the epicenter inside yourself, you discover another security guard. So, this whole scenario is a kind of inner traveling.

In other words, this is a dream in which you experience an unfolding, in what can be considered Traveling In God, compared to Traveling Toward God. The reason I say that is because the whole experience has an energetic process about it.

At the first security guard you’re looking for something meaningful and there’s a certain vibration that exists there that you must go through in order to begin climbing. Then you run into other obstacles that can drain your energy – they’re an attempt to compromise the distance you can travel.

As you proceed, you eventually reach an energetic epicenter in which suddenly there is another person who says that he’s the real security guard. All of these figures are connected to the path that you’re on. All of these various gates, so to speak, are from India – an ancient tradition, or part of you. The journey has taken you to a point where you’re exhausted, and in that exhaustion there can be confusion or a sense of losing your way, which might limit how much can be opened up.

Jeane: Well, just before I woke up I showed them that I wasn’t going to put up with this nonsense. I fought back, waving a real gun. I wasn’t interested in sorting out who was the real security guard and who was the threat. It felt like, “Excuse me, stop playing with me on this.”

John: Okay. So, you finished on a powerful note. You finished with the conviction that’s required to cause everything to pop wide open.

So, you reach deep inside yourself, and you come back strong, passing through these inner gates. In terms of making this journey, you’re developing inner power. So by the time you reach the apartment – the main source of power – you’re ready to gain more direct inner access.

This is exactly what you need at this particular juncture on the path in order to break through those chains, or those restrictions, or those barriers that would hold you back. If you didn’t have the strength to fight through, your unconscious patterns or defense mechanisms would prevent you getting any further.

If you didn’t have sufficient power inside, you might have tried to sort our which guard was real. You were strong enough, however, so those details didn’t matter. I mean you’re at the door to the apartment and you’re going in.

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