When we speak about letting go in a spiritual journey, it is a type of surrender – which can be scary in any scenario – but here can mean letting go of our tight grip on things and putting our trust and faith into something higher, something universal. But what comes with that surrender is also a great healing, because it is one of our greatest stresses and heartaches to be separated from our creator. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: While we were waiting to do this I looked up the key words because it’s best to start with how the subject matter is looked at in Jungian psychology. And the animus is the masculine component within the feminine personality, and so then the opposite is true where the anima would be the feminine component within the masculine personality.
What we were talking about earlier had to do with a quality of a shadow dynamic in which the pain that the masculine feels deep, deep inside of themselves, if you don’t access that pain, and generally to be able to access that pain you have to get beyond your reactionariness and such like that, if you can access that pain you can bring something then into life that fits and flows with life.
It has a sensation of being a little bit like air movement – it flushes right through – or otherwise if you can’t quite touch that inner depth pain that you have, then you come across as dull and dense. You just don’t have the aliveness, the quickened aliveness.
I noted this last night in that initially I had this dream that when I woke up from meditation I was so groggy that I couldn’t, it would’ve been painful almost to try to write it up. It was so awkward it was like a part of me hadn’t come back enough, grounded enough, where I was still in that space but then the ordeal of having to try to write it up. So I needed to settle back and so I thought well, I’ll just lay back.
And so I laid back on a couch in the meditation room and a couple hours later I came out of it and I didn’t have anything. And typically I can still feel maybe the whiff of something, you know, and I kept looking and trying to get it because sometimes you can work at it energetically and bring it back, maybe not the dream back but the vibration.
You know, it doesn’t work as well without the symbolism of the dream, but sometimes you can do that. I couldn’t even do that, but I was able to denote this little echo of a pain. And so when I went to bed then and was laying there in bed, I got the experience, was shown that the problem has to do with air movement. That’s what it was telling me.
Now that’s my way of trying to denote that I have to bring something from this crack, this inner pain, and bring it through. And in the sleep dream that followed, I was shown that I know how to work with the raw energy of things, I can pacify animalistic dense nature. And that I seem to be able to also know how to understand the bigger picture, you know, in terms of the import of something.
That is something that is at one point but now, at this point, in order for something to come through and touch life again, inner into outer being the center schematic, I have to go way back to the recesses to where that pain is at in order to do it. And if I go way back to the recesses of that pain and bring that all the way forward, then it can present out into life. And if I can’t, then I’m dull and I’m dense and I’m swallowed by the greater outer. I don’t have that sensation exploding as a waking up and coming through.
You know, as Leonard Cohen says, it’s through a crack that a little light comes through. And I normally don’t even see that crack or that pain because I’m normally caught in the denser aspect of things. My attention is more on, for example, the out-breath, you know, and the momentum and activity of things around me, and trying to sort myself out in relationship to that.
I hadn’t gotten to the point of realizing that to really get to the heart level I have to bring something through as an answer to that pain. And so that’s what my sleep dream showed me was that I’m at that point now where I have to be a greater teacher to myself, meaning not a temporary teacher that’s working with the denser outer nuances of things so much anymore. That part has been done.
In other words, I know how to take raw energy and things that are all askew and be able to play with that, maybe even breathe it in, so to speak, as an in-breath now and be still with that, and help that be still. But can I really take care of a wound that sits at a pain level, at a deep, deep, deep depth of the heart, which wasn’t noticeable, as noticeable, or something that I could contend with in anything other than a delirium before because I had my raw nature in the way?
This, I noticed, was a masculine way of catching up with something at this new stage of things, and that masculine catching up of things results when you’re able to bring the pain forward, when you bring it forward so that something comes out of that into life it comes out as a fullness on the in-breath which is the feminine breath.
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