The Flip Side

Becca Barbanall

It has been said that we live in a topsy-turvy world, i.e., we put all our focus on the things that don’t really matter and we ignore everything that truly matters – according to the purposes of the universe. Well, as we develop, we begin to get glimpses of this other side, the side that is connected to universal purposes rather than locked in to personal illusions. This dream portrays such moments, by showing the flipping upside down of rooms in a castle – which is a greatly expanded place, and state, to live in. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So, in my dream, I’m in it feels like almost a large house. It’s kind of reminds me of old castles or something, but anyway I’m in the house. I’m more of an observer in this dream, and suddenly everything in the room just flips, like if it did a flip upside down and righted itself again.

And then I realized I’ve dreamt this before and that this is some kind of a contest going on. And so with a person in the room they were making everything flip, and maybe whoever flips best wins the contest. But I’m trying to figure out, because I know I’ve dreamt this before, I’m asking someone because I can’t remember, did the person and someone make everything flip?

And what I’m trying to figure out is whether when the person flips, what’s going on? Do they flip the whole building, or do they just flip a room in a building? Logic would tell me they just flip a room in a building, but I don’t really know. And I can’t remember from my past dreams. It’s got me so curious and I seem to be asking the person next to me, and am trying to figure this one out because I want to know how the flip happens.

John: The subject that one’s working with, the underlying subject that one’s working with, has to do with how the heart contends with everything in its surroundings. And so a heart that’s in a very, very limited surrounding generally doesn’t have much of a chance, because then it is staring at just what is densely hitting it in the face.

But you’re in a surrounding in which something has opened up in a greater dynamic way. In other words, you’re in a castle setting, so that you don’t have the usual defined conformities that keep you from being able to function, or resonate out.

In terms of the theme of the dreaming, because everything vies for the heart, you are coming to recognize that, in an in-between world, you’re going to have things that hurt and affect the heart, that are reflective in the outer, and then you’re going to have the aspiring part inside of you that tries to reach beyond all of that.

And, ordinarily, you cannot do that except in momentary instances when you totally surrender, or let go, and are able to find an acceptance in which you can function outside of the ordinary, imposed, status quo. The ordinary imposed status quo is a condition of consciousness in which you experience everything, you take into account everything, which means you are also taking in the direness of things, that too is coming into the heart; the stiffness, the awkwardness.

And so, when it’s like that, and you’re taking that in, then you’re limited. Only this dream is there to point out, and to talk about, the periods of time when you are able to escape such bondage, in other words, where you are able to rise above the typical human condition in which things are more or less held collectively in check – in terms of the human condition – by the fact that you’re taking in limitations, in the heart, as well as a higher quality way of beingness.

So, in order for you to get to a state in which this higher quality of beingness is able to move around, well it’s generally said that the soul moves around when you’re sleeping, it is not as confined by the throes of the outer, where the senses, and the mind, and the ego and all of that are going at it. In other words, the prisoner is not in such a castle anymore, supposedly.

Well, in the outer you can also get to a point where you have an openness in which the heart is free to where it doesn’t carry the anguish of outer afflictions that are noticeable in an environment that are all pervasive in a reflective outer environment. And so, when you don’t have that, you can find yourself flipping for a split moment in a way that exuberantly, inflectively, often times joyously, at other points in time it’s just a counterclockwise or something that catches everything by surprise. You can do this something that breaks the usual bondage, which is like the flipping, which is where you cause something to just flip.

So one’s been playing with this. It’s to be able to function in a wide open way, in a fairly continuous way, because one does not draw a form of attention in such a way that causes things to be questioned, or challenged, or have to be sorted out in terms of the reflective. The reflective can just accept it.

Because a human being has its limitations, you tend to get what’s called flip moments where something flips and usually they’re intervals, they’re intermittent, they’re not constant. And then the parameters of outer conditioning reimpose themselves.

And that’s why it is very, very, very difficult. You’ll notice that you don’t have a teacher come out and just go point blank bang, bang, boom, boom, hitting everybody in the jaw, straightaway, because that would be hitting the reflective, and then would cause a reaction that would rise up and tear away at this flip side state of overall beingness in an essence.

In other words, everything would struggle defensively. So what the teacher has to do, and this is the object lesson of how we’re dreaming and having to look at this, is that you have to find the way in which it is possible to touch things without causing trace elements of reaction.

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Damsel in Distress

journey in a dreamEven in this day and age, the image of being chased by a prince through his castle in a dream seems to have a romance to it. Yet that is how the dreamer is managing a situation that is overwhelming to her on an inner level. And things only get worse when she succeeds in getting away. Yet what is happening is an escape from the higher back into the lower, because the higher is always challenging to the status quo. Ultimately, the dreamer knows she needs to go back. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my first dream, which takes place mostly at night, I’ve gone into a building that’s almost like a small castle. And at first I’m observing the people there. There’s like a man that’s like a prince that seems to be in charge. There’s a woman that he’s with at some points, and I seem to be looking through the rooms.

But when he spots me, he wants to be with me. So then I’m trying to keep away from him. I don’t want him to recognize me, like at first he doesn’t recognize me, but then he seems to be in pursuit of me. And so I’m trying to stay ahead of him and, in that trying to stay ahead of him, at one point I even jump and things change to color for a moment and I’m on the back of some kind of horse that seems to be able to fly.

And then I get out of the castle, because he’s grabbed me at one point, but I’ve gotten away. He did touch me though. I would try to disguise myself so he wouldn’t recognize it was me, but now I’m running.

I go out of the castle at night, and I’ve gone down because the castle seems like it’s more up, and I’ve come across this unusual building, and I go into this building again and I go up in the building. And this building is almost like a building where they manufacture parts of people, like there might be little babies, or there might just be a foot, or there might be just a sock, not a main piece of clothing. It wasn’t even a person.

On different levels it’s like they’ve kind of taken things apart as opposed to putting them together and, of course, you have the sense that if they catch you they’d do the same, they just take you apart, or use parts of you.

Then I’m kind of running from the people in the building, and they think they’ve got me at one point, but I seem to slide down and go right through this glass window into a room and through another glass window – without harming myself – and I get out of the building.

But somewhere in this whole process I was touched by something, and it feels like there’s something changing in me now where I’m turning into gold, but it’s a process that takes a certain amount of time. There’s even some little being near me that talks to me a little bit about what’s happening, but over this process I’m turning into gold. The only thing that I notice about this process is that it seems to make me want to go back and be with the prince more.

John: What this dream is about is, it is using both expansive and contractive qualities, because those are the only two things going on, and it’s using those as an energy that vies more or less for your consciousness, which means it’s vying for your heart.

You use the theme that repeats over and over again of it being kind of a physical thing like one of the four doors, they create a delusional quality. You use the one over and over again because it seems to be the one that, as you overcome, you get close to the understanding of a wholeness, I mean the four doors are like the prostitute archetype, the drunkard, the [thief], and the gambler.

Now each of those… whatever and however you experience those four doors, which are like archetypal energies in one’s nature, when they have a hold of you they’re like that, and they dictate images and mannerisms in which your attention has to take and filter its flow in life. And the difference that you’re doing now however, is you’re taking that energy… I don’t know why they call it the prostitute energy because I mean they all have this, in a sense, they all take and create their delusions except maybe this one works within the realm of the quality of the vibration that’s in the magnetic connectivity realm. They all connect you to some illusion though, too, so it’s hard to say it that way too but the thing that you’re doing different is you’re looking at it in terms of both an expanse and a contraction. You’re looking at the polarities.

And so you’re realizing that when something is trying to get a hold of you, and that’s an illusion that you have when you’re high up, in other words, when you raise your energy and you have the sense of a type of freedom, like higher up in the castle or something, have a sense of freedom. In that sense of freedom your imagination, the way your thoughts will run in terms of fantasy and whatnot, is you seek to curry favor of something. In other words, you’ll manufacture a prince in shining armor attraction, or something like that, that draws your attention when you’re feeling a lot of lightness and energy.

And then when you get into the density of things, and so that effect is actually a dense effect,  that pulls you from a proper flying and lightness when you’re in the castle up above. And then when you go down below and something is trying to grab you, it’s hitting you in a dense way. And to the degree to which you free yourself from that it’s like busting it into a million pieces. It’s chopping things up. That’s like them trying to expand. In other words, no one likes feeling contracted, so they fight to try to get out of the contraction, and yet you’re caught in the vibe of something that’s contracting, so when you expand then things get broken into a whole bunch of pieces.

So you’re dealing with the expansive and the contractive. The object of where you’re going with this thrashing that comes to an end in terms of doing that, is you learn that neither direction, neither one of those things that you put into the heart, into yourself, will take you anywhere, and you will eventually make a shift. And the shift is that instead of putting the energetic into a quality of an imaginative heart-like nature, where you have to struggle to get away from something to trying to get a hold of you, and then you’re fighting to free yourself of that contraction and, you know, that busts you into a million pieces again.

The significant thing about this is that what you’re doing is tearing away an attention that could have been, and is meant to be, the life force on the soul. And when the life force is on the soul then you so to speak lose yourself, and then you have a presence in all things. When the life force is on the soul you actually are connected in a way that you take something with you, as the expression goes.

Well what do you take with you? In other words, you’re connected. You’ve brought the levels together, so to speak. You’ve gotten rid of the other illusion delusion that keeps you from recognizing your greater wholeness, and that you’re intertwined with everything. And when you have it on the levels of the soul, then you actually do not die. You have a means of connecting. You connect to the vibrational parts of yourself, whether you’re beyond time and space. Whether you’re in this body or not, you can connect that way to everything.

That’s an amazing kind of aliveness to have. Now it’s generally spoken of from the standpoint that there are the spiritual elders and there’s this, that, and the other that you can be like a foot soldier to that, and you can catch up to that, and you can hear something and know something. No, you can do all of this yourself, and that’s what you’re meant to do when you take and put the life force energy into the soul, as opposed to into the heart.

Into the heart you’re going to have the vying around, and you’re going to have those four primary archetypal, or four door, natures to have to contend with going back and forth between one and the other. And, of course, in most instances each person has one usually that is louder and more predominant that is still a byproduct of having the delusional trance, the illusional trance yet, having the identification then, or duality, as the consequence of that that’s standing in the way.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Damsel in Distress

Saying Yes to the Process

In this dream analysis, Ann tells her dream of a castle and a dragon, with the twist ending of a friend getting a divorce. This leads to a discussion of the fundamental process of spiritual awakening, which is triggered when a person says “Yes” to something greater than themselves. When this happens, a new world opens up, but it can happen in surprising ways. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Ann: Okay, it was an interesting dream.

I was in a really large castle and there were lots of rooms, and I found myself going from room to room seeing these different people in these different rooms and kind of helping them along. I keep going from one room to another, and along the way people tell me there’s a dragon in the castle and I tell them there’s nothing to be afraid of it’s just a dragon.

I go into one room and there’s a woman I know and I used to work with her, but anyway she tells me she’s getting a divorce from her husband of 17 years and she says “I’ve made my decision, I’ve had enough, I’m going to make changes in my life.” Just very emphatic that that was what was going to happen, and then I woke up.

John: Well, you have very simple images complicated by a final image that is going to be a type of pressure that is going to be put on you very quickly.

The first two images are images that you greet and you face enthusiastically. I mean, this is wonderful stuff. Basically you have three images there. You have the image of the big castle, you have the image of the dragon, and then you have the image of something that’s about to change.

The image of the castle shows that you’ve developed a particular kind of depth. In other words, whenever you dream about a house you’re dreaming about yourself as you’re growing, and you have this room and that room and more rooms and more rooms and so on, but it’s now a castle – it’s huge.

So that means that you have developed a base. When a person comes to a path such as this, there’s a certain putting together that has to happen. In other words, they have developed a certain woundology, and they’ve been damaged by the world, and there’s a certain degree of fracturing that’s occurred that has to somehow or another be accommodated or dealt with, so that the person can sustain what’s about to hit them, so that they don’t completely crack up and become like an easily broken glass bottle person.

Well the problem is you’re going to crack up anyway, but you’re really not an easily broken glass bottle person because you can handle it. But if you got hit with this straight away you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you could go insane. Because the dragon is the kundalini energy, and kundalini energy in and of itself is dangerous and, typically, when people access it unnaturally in the outer world they end up in insane asylums, they flip out.

It’s very, very dangerous energy because unless you’ve developed a certain inner awakened acuity to it, meaning able to handle the greater space of yourself inside, it can throw you around.

For example, kundalini energy opening up too much: An example of the teacher was that he was walking the streets at 3:00am, he couldn’t sleep, and got just enough sleep to stay alive but could hardly work, could hardly function, because it puts you under… it puts you through a lot of paces.

An example of the kundalini energy opening up in this one woman that I came across in Germany, was she had this dream and instead of the teacher having his normal talk, he out of the blue called upon her to tell her dream. And she was terrified over this dream. She was afraid to go to sleep at night because what would happen at night was more than she could handle. And the whole depiction was like being broken into a million pieces.

Instead of interpreting it or anything like that, the teacher just took it as the way things happen, and he turned and essentially took the contents of the energetic of what she was portraying – instead of offering any condolences or soothingness or anything like that – he turned to everybody else and he said, “I don’t know why most of you are here. This is going to happen to all of you. It’s just a matter of time.”

Of course this was her time and of course she portrayed the inability to be able to handle it, but what the teacher’s teacher used to always say is that, he awakens this kundalini energy and never ever has it gone wrong. In other words, the kundalini energy basically is described and even the teacher has described this in terms of the West saying that there is no one that knows how to teach this or to handle this.

There are a lot of people who get to the point where they realize that it’s important, but no one knows how to work with it, and his teacher said that he awakens this and it’s a slow, steady process and what opens up involves a lot of mutual trust that has to go back and forth between the teacher and the student.

There’s lots of room for things to go wrong, and when he awakens the kundalini energy, and this trust gets established with the student, it never ever ever goes wrong.

Now, in the West, when you hear a teacher talk about it, he talks about it as if no one understands this kundalini energy and when it awakens no one knows how to work with it. Never does he refer to himself as the person who stirs this sort of stuff up, and does know how to work with it. He just talks as if no one in the West knows how to work with it, and that’s why it is considered extremely dangerous and why you have a lot of people that flip out.

And he’ll give examples like where a person will do a particular practice, and the way he’ll put it is they did it a little too well, and they opened up more than they can handle and it flipped them.

This is a path where you die before you die. And it’s a path where the friend slays the friend. This is a very peculiar image, you know the friend that kills the friend. All of course to get to the “die before you die,” or to the point where you have reached and let go of how it is that you hold onto an appearance of yourself.

And you don’t break that appearance without picking up speed, without gaining power, without this kundalini energy awakening. And if you don’t know how to work with it, because it works more in a macro level than on a micro level, and if you apply it on a micro level it can drive you insane, it can make you very dizzy, very jittery, and very unsettled and not able to be comfortable.

And so it tends to be dormant when you’re going through and occupying a real small mud puddle. The image of the castle is a little bit like the image of the ocean frog and the inland frog, where the ocean frog has the ocean and the inland frog has the back little pond that it has as the entire world and swims around it and points it out to the ocean frog that came to visit, nothing gets bigger than that. Because that’s all that it’s experienced, and that’s how it has pigeonholed its way of being.

The image of the castle is the same, that’s the ocean. In other words, you have found a much greater expanse to yourself than otherwise, and in a castle there’s so much room that you can have the kundalini energy, which is the dragon.

Okay, that’s all rubbing your hands together. This is great kind of stuff, but then comes the hail maker. Now it comes down to… and how did you describe that part again?

Ann: Okay, so anyway I’m telling everybody they can handle the dragon. So I walk into this room and it’s a woman I know and she tells me she’s getting a divorce from her husband of 17 years. She says, “I’ve had enough, I’ve got to make some positive changes, I’ve got to change things in my life.”

John: So first of all when you say that you can handle the dragon, you are inside of yourself saying “Yes” to a process. You don’t say this “Yes” or this “No” in an outward way. You say it on the inner soul level and, somehow or another, the teacher knows when you want the juice turned up or turned off or you want to take a respite or whatever it is so that you can handle the kundalini energy.

You’re now saying it’s time, you can handle it. You’re saying “Yes” to the process. So when the process is turned up, you now access an awakening in terms of yourself that enables you to have an overall sight or, I should say, intertwining that’s not otherwise possible.

Before, you’ve got the small pond and that’s it, but now you are having to confront throwing off the shackles of things that keep you from experiencing something much greater, more on a macro level now as opposed to the micro level. The micro level being the frog pond.

Other images of this kind of throwing away, in other words, you haven’t done it really loudly. I mean, in your way that was pretty loud. But here’s one that I suppose in its way is pretty loud. A woman is chained by a torturer in the bottom of the pit. And she’s been that way, abused, for so doggone long that she knows nothing different.

And it’s been so long that the chains and everything have kind of gotten kind of old and rusty and the connections have gotten brittle. And all of a sudden she realizes that she can break those chains, come out and run naked down the street.

That’s an image of breaking out of the shackles of things. Your image is similar to that. Your image is that you’re under a certain kind of masculine oppression that has kept you from opening up to the depth of who you are.

The feminine is the person who brings things into life in creation, that opens something up from the inner into the outer, and that is not possible when it’s subjugated by its inner masculine that keeps it in a state of bondage, identifying with things in terms of the environment.

And when it is caught dribbling away – identifying with things in the outer – it gets caught in what is called a doingness. This term is associated with women more than guys, the doingness thing. Because somewhere in the echo of the feminine is this idea of having to sustain the family unit and all of that and it does it well. It takes that responsibility on.

The masculine doesn’t do that. The masculine is kind of rude that way, kind of callous and kind of checked out. Now it can recognize the protocol, but it’s the feminine that makes sure that it’s followed. It’s the feminine that wants to make sure that the holidays are honored and the get-togethers happen and that everybody’s comfortable.

What has evolved over time is that feminine has fallen underneath the directive of, you might say, the idiot, the masculine, that doesn’t do any of this but still barks out the orders, and that then creates a shutting down. In other words, that’s what causes the veil to hit, whereby you let go of your greater sense of knowingness, you compromise it, as if something else knows better.

So you then are veiling yourself and making yourself more unconscious. Ultimately this reaches a point of an energetic that is like a nausea, and that’s what you came to in your dream. You needed to break free from something in order to be yourself, to live yourself now. And, you know, the jig is up  – you know, enough is enough.

It’s interesting that you dreamed something like this because if I’d have just jumped in and started talking about things, this would have been the theme of what we would have talked about.

In other words, you get to a particular point where you cannot handle the sight, in other words you can’t see yourself in relationship to the outer appearances. Whatever you look at in the outer you cannot use that to stroke yourself as a reason for being alive or however you’d say that. In other words, you lose the ordinary, what used to be creature comforts, of identification.

And actually you probably never ever had it, more than anything you always had the means to an end, means to an end, you know constantly just out of reach kind of on a treadmill kind of momentum, but you get to a point in time where some part of you inside just knows that you’re not going to get satisfied in this way anymore.

Then you find yourself in a kind of agitation. It’s kind of like a kundalini raw energy aspect again, that you can now handle, in that you can’t settle for the simplistic anymore, or the normal comforts that everybody else would find wonderful – you tend to find repulsive, insulting, inhibiting, nauseating, and nobody else that you know, if you’re in an environment or a setting and you’ve got other people around, they don’t seem to act like there’s anything wrong.

But you just can’t handle it. It used to be, yeah you could go through, you could shuck and jive and carry on the whole sort of thing, but now, all of a sudden, you can’t. This is a type of starting to die before you die.

The teacher likes to put it something like this: You lose a certain sense of freedom that others have. I mean, is it really a freedom that they have?

You can’t buy into that anymore, which is another way of saying that you can’t do the things that you used to be able to do because it doesn’t have any value for you. For them it has value because they can still lie to themselves and believe that it’s true. But you can’t.

Ann: Isn’t that interesting. Wow.

John: And as a consequence this disrupts everything around you. It can get so severe that you lose all your friends, because what they relate to, and you used to relate to… but what if you do not relate to that anymore? You know, what do you have in common? It can become peculiar like that.

Where this goes and what is taking place, a part of you is… it’s a type of intertwining. Well, let’s see. How would one put it? A human being always takes the energetic that they are experiencing inside of themselves and they have to arrange it into some sort of kind of pitch or spitball that they can project.

And so as you experience things inside yourself, rather than taking them too literally to heart, you use what you learn to sharpen yourself, or think that you’re sharpening yourself, in terms of an outer persona.

For quite some time you become, to your way of thinking, wiser, sharper, have a little more dexterity, a little more sense than you had before in terms of how you approach things in the outer.

That’s how you tend to see yourself for quite some time, because what you’re doing is when you are opening this stuff up, and you’re finding the treasure chest, so to speak, of this greater domain inside of yourself, it’s all wonderful. And yet a certain string hasn’t been pulled yet, to point out that it won’t work very well if it is strictly applied outwardly.

You know to try to build a better gadget or palace or whatever for yourself. It doesn’t quite work that well because all of that, technically, on one level it looks like it’s being enhanced, but on another level it is falling away. And when you finally get to the point where it’s like falling away that can be scary.

But you have recognized the sweet pain of being able to work with the kundalini energy, you’ve developed a trust in that, and more than a trust you’ve developed an intertwining, whereby you cannot tell yourself that this is separate anymore.

You can see how there’s some part of you that affects everything in your environment, and that you have an effect over everything, as if you are the Whole, or the Whole is connected to you and streams through you in some fashion, so that you have to take a kind of responsibility that everything that is going on is somehow or another part of you.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Saying Yes to the Process