Defining How It Is

unconscious-bias0We’re rarely fully aware how our attitudes and mannerisms limit our life and our experiences. And on a spiritual path this idea points to an even greater understanding of what it means to be in service to something higher, because life may urge us in certain directions so that we gain the experience that makes us truly useful to the universe. If we say no to such urgings, i.e., we won’t leave the job that eats up all of or time for one that pays less but offers us growth in other ways, we won’t find our flow within the greater unfolding. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well, I had two dreams that kind of mingled together. And in one dream, it feels like I’m observing a man who has two servants that come from different traditions. In one tradition they dress like they do in Niger, where they’re like the turban and the dark blue robes and a camel. The other servant has a tradition where he has a beard.

Because he has these two servants, but he’s now living here where things are modern, he decides to have a contest. Whereas before he divided up what each one does based on their tradition, now he’s going to kind of see whether they can do new things that he throws at them and who can do them fast, or how fast they can get them done. And so, he’s trying that as an experiment to see how to get things done – and initially they do start doing things.

John: What you’re discovering and what you’re observing through this dream is that anything that you hold onto defines how it is that you can be. You are taking two particular approaches, or characteristics, or traits and you’re seeing that each trait has its way in terms of what works in the outer world, in life, for it.

Somehow, deep down inside of yourself, you must know or understand the principle that a true servant knows how to let go of absolutely everything, and doesn’t carry any kind of mannerism or motif through which they filter their approach to life.

You look at the one servant that has a particular attire that comes from the tradition of understanding servanthood as an elevated state of regality. You look at what his mannerism or approach can accomplish, that perhaps the other cannot accomplish. You also know that there are limitations in terms of having such an attire.

And you look at the other, who has a tradition maybe of a kind of a humbleness, but it too has some characteristic in terms of how it perceives or sees itself, or carries itself. But it’s slightly different from the other. And thus, you’re sitting and deep down you’re actually trying to come from the depth of being totally resigned and having let go of everything. You know, knowing that that enables a service to be more greatly enhanced.

And so, you’re proving this to yourself by way of noticing how when each thing that is still being held onto, you’re noticing how it can affect the speed and the flow upon which something, when presented to you, is able to happen. It slows things down. You don’t have the speed that’s needed when you don’t have and aren’t in touch with the natural flow.

So the person with the beard has his issues that hold him back. The person with the attire has the manner in which he has to carry himself that holds him back. And you’re trying to run an experiment for the benefit of these two sides of yourself that you still embody or carry, to prove, by way of watching and even seeing this for yourself, that to the degree to which you are inhibiting yourself, and don’t need to. That there is so much more that can happen if you dropped even all of that.

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A Bridge to the Future

John: In this dream, I start off by going into a government building located in an area of the city I’m not familiar with. Something compelled me to leave my home and go to this place. Once there, I change out of my normal work clothes and into something more casual.

I place my work clothes on a corner shelf in a safe place. However, I’m suddenly compelled to go to another government building, and I simply leave my things behind.

I get so engrossed with what I’m doing in this new building that I don’t realize the time until it’s five minutes to 5pm (closing time), and I realize I’ve left my wallet, identification, and my clothes back in the first building.

I know it’s probably hopeless to return and retrieve my things before that building closes, but in my panic, I rationalize that there may be a way to get in.

I’m in a busy little city, but first I come to this huge hill that goes straight up in the air and then comes straight down. It’s like a tremendous loop, but you can’t imagine a hill being this steep.

Then, as you come down, the road swings out into a hairpin turn, like on a roller coaster, and I no longer have any idea where I am. The odd part is, I saw this coming, I tried to avoid it, but I still get swept out into this sharp turn.

By the time I come looping out of it I’m not even sure I’m in the city anymore. I was trying to maximize the five minutes, but obviously I’d have to know exactly where to go to have any chance to get in the first building again.

So, I have to endure the inconvenience of not having my identification or clothes until the next time that building is open.

As circumstances would have it, I meet up with a friend who works in the same building. He tells me about a group of employees who got into trouble. Something out of the ordinary happened and this group was accused of spying. They were arrested and then raped.

He thinks there’s a possibility I could be accused of the same crime. It doesn’t make any sense to me because everything I did seems easily explained, yet at that moment I pause: I’m distracted as I look at the shirt I’m wearing.

It’s a sweater that zips up from the center and I’ve been wearing it backwards, or inside out. I notice because I have to zip it up differently, i.e., I have to reach inside and use my fingers in a different way to pull it up.

When I wrote this image up I thought, gee, this is the first time I’ve had a dream where I haven’t the foggiest idea what it’s going to mean. But then when I sat with it, I think I saw the deeper meaning.

I think this is a dream that describes how changes in the future might unfold. And there’s the suggestion here that I’m caught in a time warp, or an in-between state, because how I’m able to be, and how I am, are two different things.

First, there’s the aspect of being compelled to leave the comfort of my home, i.e., my comfort zone.

Second, I enter a power building (it’s a government office) and get overly casual to the point where I forget my position, or get lost in it, and I end up wandering off to another government building.

Third, because my attention is caught by looking at something in this new place, I suffer a kind of amnesia that has me lose track of the time and, ultimately, lose my way. The amnesia is a type of shock, and that shock is the inability to pull the two states together – the comfort zone and the new, unknown places. This inability to reconcile the two places in me is represented by the awkward, inside-out zipper.

The friend from the same building, who shows up to help or guide me, in the sense of grounding me with something familiar, also portrays a worst-case scenario where I’m arrested for spying. But this worst-case would be the result of me “going back.” Yet after my detours, I’m not as concerned about going back, because my focus is on the inside-out sweater and zipping it together.

In other words, I’ve left my comfort zone and fumbled around in the unknown by being a bit too casual in my approach. This causes me to lose my way – I’m not handling the new place very well and I face danger in returning to where I began.

So the dream is showing me that these two states need to be pulled together within me. The future is an unknown territory, which always draws us away from our comfort zone. If we are too casual in this, i.e., we aren’t able to consciously hold our connections and inner stability (keep our wallet and identity) we put ourselves in danger of getting deeply lost.

The relief I needed in the dream was seen as my plan for making the zipper work in its inside-out fashion. In reality, we humans live our lives from the outside in, forever in reaction-mode to the things happening in the world around us.

In the future, humans will need to live from the inside out, in the sense that our connections to inner guidance, and our ability to process the higher aspects of ourselves – and bring those through into life – will be our main source of stability in a changing world.

Protecting the Self

John: When looking at the detail of this dream, the only conclusion I can draw is that I need more speed or energy, or I need more light, because with the weight of what’s unfolding I’m barely able to maintain. I’m not able to change anything because the condition is spiraling out of control.

In this dream I start off as a woman working as a waitress in a lodge. It’s family owned and I’m pretending to be part of the family. In other words, I’m a dead ringer for a woman who used to be there and was part of the family. Not even the regular patrons have noticed the difference.

There’s a kind of sadness to this place, i.e., things usually kept neatly are in disarray. For example, the wood in the fireplace is nearly depleted and no one’s able to replenish it. There’s just not enough energy; there’s of a sense of everyone being overburdened.

As a lookalike for the young lady, I’m able to move about freely. The family has become dependent on me because I have more energy while they’re barely coping. I tend to the guests.

There’s a particular guest, a man, who’s a little strange; he’s full of anxiety and neurosis. He comes in just to see me, unaware that I’m not the woman he remembers.  

He gets my attention and wants me to go with him to his car. He acts as if he wants to discuss something, so I give him the benefit of the doubt and I begrudgingly go along. I’m thinking that maybe I can snap him out of his indulgent ideas about me.  

But he’s being more deranged than usual. This time he wants to go to Walmart and sit in that parking lot to talk. I know that would be disastrous, plus I can’t leave because I’m working.  

In despair, he reminds me that I would have done this in the past. He thinks I should just get in the backseat. I know that would be giving in to his lower energy and his delusions. I realize they can’t be resolved.

In order to keep things from going to far, or be victimized, I instead get into the front passenger’s seat. He continues to insist that we go to this other parking lot, and that’s when I realize that it’s hopeless.  

This man isn’t interested in facing his issues. He just wants to indulge in an old pattern as if it will change something for the better. I feel his despair hit my heart; I know there’s nothing I can do. I tell him, “No,” and go back inside.  

This is when I realize that the lodge is in such bad energetic shape. I hadn’t paid attention before; I was just floating freely about. But I see that it’s my energy that’s attempting to make the difference – to lift things up. However, I realize it’s only a matter of time before the energetic emptiness will prevail, no matter my efforts.  

In other words, the lodge is set up to be a place that people can come to for relief, but the patrons aren’t quite on top of their game. I have the only energy that’s left and everyone else is too tired to offer any support.  

I also had an earlier dream in which I’m asked to pay attention to what some friends want me to see. It seems important, so I oblige them. I follow them and suddenly realize that they’re standing at the edge of a cliff.  

As I come up to the edge, I can tell that they’re collectively prepared to jump. I’m shocked that this is what they want me to see. I wake up from that image as a voice from somewhere in the ether says, “You didn’t see that coming did you?”

Both dreams are showing me that without catching up to the note in life that penetrates the condition you’re in, there’s an emptiness that has no meaning. Without that inner recognition, what touches me in the outer is filled with despair and confusion.

I can’t help the conditions (the lodge, the man, or the group on the cliff) and to think I can is a deception. The others don’t know quite what they’re looking for, but they’re responding to an aliveness in my nature that’s a relief to their worn-out energetic condition.

I think I’m okay, but the plight of others hits my heart, and I have to protect myself from being drained by the outer circumstances. If I go along, thinking I can clear the confusion, their approach will walk me right off a cliff.

In other words, I will fall into the same despair. So in the lodge, or in trying to relate to the confused man, the only thing that keeps me from being sucked in is this note I carry in my heart that can tell the energetic difference.

Try as I might I’m not able to get the energetic to come through so that something is able to change. All I can do is be firm in not being affected by the outer indulgences. In other words, I just can’t buy into them. I just turn away because I don’t want to give them any credence.

There’s a deeper meaning: I’m describing conditions in Creation (the outer world) that I have no solution for at this time. The only thing I have is a note inside that I hold onto in the face of all of this.

My old self would think I could make a difference and try to change things. But my new self knows that I hold a greater responsibility to try to build something, and change, from within.