Posts Tagged ‘compass directions in dreams’

As_Above__So_Below-gematria-deviantartThese dream images follow on John’s process from yesterday (see A Precious Light). Through them, he is confronted with the same fundamental issue: how can we live a spiritual life in the midst of all the distractions of the outer world? Yet that is exactly the process we face: being able to hold our higher-self vibration while we engage in the physical realms. It may not be easy, but we have our lifetime to figure it out as best we can. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Even though it felt like it was an awful long night, I had incredible dreams. It was just one right after another but I was refusing to fill them out because I knew that it was almost like I couldn’t do justice to them because they just kept going and going like flash, flash, flash. And in my sleep I am compelled to notice all kinds of things that I do to contend with the conditions I am in.

I walk real fast, just like I drive real fast when I’m out there like this. I walk real fast through the casinos and everything, and around people abruptly – as if this will keep me from having to contend with the surrounding environment, as if I’m holding my space that way. 

What I see over and over is the need. If I am in a building, I will notice that the place next door is a broken down, empty shell with no roof, sides, collapsed, and everything. It was just thing after thing after thing like that. There’s no quarter that I can be in. 

The meaning is that I am struggling with coping. I am overwhelmed by the outer mannerisms that are in a state of energetic disarray. I have been isolating myself from this in order to cradle the inner aliveness.

To go out into life, I am hammered with what I call east/west energy that affects the heart because this is what manifestation is identifying with and projecting into life as their idea of how to cope.

This is a state and way of being by mankind which goes around and around in circles, and is lost in this east/west projection because it doesn’t have the north/south to perceive. It seals itself from that, and so it doesn’t have that part of themselves that’s awakened.

The differences between the north/south and the east/west is, well that’s the nature that everyone needs to figure out how to juggle, is the difference. Just to try to juggle the difference can slowly bring you into pulling this back together. To go into the midst of manifestation I’m going to mutably have to contend with it working like that. You can go so far inside, but you have to come back into the outer.

There comes a time when I must confront the outer conditions. In spiritual jargon it is called dark energy and now, of course, I see dark energy in all kinds of ways. East/west energy is dark energy. Going to the spiritual north is kind of a good way of going into light, and you could use lots of spiritual illusions to just kind of push yourself along.

If I do not do this, remaining content with what is going on in manifestation, then you don’t get rounded because it’s the east/west energy that creates the depth perception to things. It creates the understanding. Otherwise, you stay more in a bewilderment. And the condition I’m in that is easiest to accommodate is this north/south side of myself, but it keeps me out of creation.

It keeps me out of manifestation. It keeps me safeguarding myself. The depth perception balance and heartfelt grace come from being able to handle the east/west energy and, yes, you kind of get dumbed-down and lost, and you lose maybe a certain step or aspect of vibration when you do that, but you have to do that to the point where you don’t get lost.

Reporting what I go through is part of the redemption, maybe also part of an avoidance. I seem to be part of a process that aspires to an inner vibration that lifts my consciousness, but then turn around and go into the outer to see if I can see what is there – in terms of the inner touching the outer, and the outer being a reflection of the inner.

At this time I leak a lot and do not hold the energy of the heart with enough presence so that it is able to shift back and forth. Instead I seem to be taking a beating, and when I come back I have to restore the north/south connection to simply go back and forth doing it over and over and over again. It’s exhausting, yet I guess I have to do it again.

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Today the dreaming triggers an exploration into the territory of subrogating energy, which has to do with our tendency, as humans in this culture, to look outside of ourselves when something is trying to arise from within. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

 Jeane: My dreams last night were rather wispy. In one dream it feels like I’m visiting some young women that I’m living with. I must be in my 20s too, and it’s like we’ve been working and living together, but I’m going to be moving now.

John: Are you moving from the woman you’re living with?

Jeane: From a group of them. There’s a group of us living together. They seem like people I knew from high school.

John: You have been working with them too?

Jeane: When I first leave I go about three or four blocks away, and I’m staying at the house of a man, and actually sleeping with this man, that I know from Seattle, except we’re not really making love because he’s always preoccupied with something that he’s doing.

He at one point goes with me and picks up some of the women to drive them somewhere that they need to go, and it feels like when we’re in the car again he and I are always preoccupied with something, almost like a box that we have with some instruments in it, or we’re trying to unpack things and place them in the right spot as people get in and out of the car.

It feels like it’s that same way when we’re at his house, that there are things that we’re moving around in the bed and that he’s preoccupied with that he has to get done. That whole dream just has that sensation in it.

John: You’re portraying a quality of a depth of yourself as being subrogated. In other words, what that means is that when you’re in a group or a wholeness, in other words, with the other women that you’re with and that you’re working and whatnot, and then you move out of that place and into something as if that’s better, what you’re doing is a type of subrogation.

You’re making a choice as if that brings you into a better result. The image then proceeds to tell you that what you’re doing is avoiding something, and it was meant to open up if you would have stayed in the state that involved a sense of camaraderie and wholeness within.

By moving out you’re finding out that you can’t get, reach, or achieve that which you desire or design, because you’ve already turned your back on something from where you left, and in turning your back on that from which you left – energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just moves around in different states – and so the subrogated state that you have is that, where you end up you can’t quite reach the connectivity that you feel you desire because of having rejected something or repudiated something else.

In other words, this is a type of making a choice in which the choice you have made kept something from opening up inside, as you then thought that it could be opened up in this other way. And it can’t work that way because everything that evolves, evolves from within.

And so what you end up with is a situation in which something is still deprived. There is something about this guy that you move in with that is unable, even though for all intents and purposes the appearances are such that this is better, or that this should work, and that you’re going to be making this choice, because you have failed to open up or come to grips with something inside when you were in the previous scenario or setting.

When you then failed to do that there, and then choose to go and make an outer choice as if it’s now possible somewhere else, in this other way, you only find in the end that something is restless or moving around or unsettled or whatever it is it just doesn’t quite gel like it’s supposed to – from your way of looking at things.

This subject of subrogation is a very big, deep, peculiar subject because for some reason a human being is constantly doing that, constantly deviating off of a depth from deep within that can be reached, by taking and making choices or decisions that have them probe out in some sort of outer context way.

And however it is that they probe out in an outer context way cannot work out for them because you don’t find anything of value that way. You only find it of value from what comes from within. But the problem is what comes from within has a certain danger to it too in that it can be overwhelming and when it seems and comes across as overwhelming, the reason why you get the sensation that it’s overwhelming is because a part of you still seeks or believes in something that’s in the outer.

So when you open an access to something on the inner that’s more profound than what you’re ready to handle, you step away from that, and you attempt to open it up under circumstances that are more under your idea of control and balance – and it never works out that way.

In other words, the inner thing hits you, the inner thing and essence that hits you, hits you in a way with more than what you were capable of dealing with, but rather than settle in and let that come to a fullness of time, you step away from the overpowering quality. You do it by way of a reaction that to you makes perfect sense, but the end result is that you’re now trying to take in what was there as a sense, yet trying to open up in a situation that was protected and stabilized, you’re now trying to open that up in a way that is out on its own.

And without the protection, without the security of the overall, of the lineage or whatever it is that the overall is, without that security of it opening up in a protected way, the deviation or the mannerism to which you probe out is – it’s not going to quite come together. It’s always going to seem peculiar to you in some fashion or another, and that’s because it’s not supposed to work that way.

And yet that is what everyone does over and over and over again. It’s called trying to subrogate the energy. A good example is, in case that’s hard to understand in terms of the word subrogation, a good example is where the opposite of what you’re doing is where a woman takes and represses her femininity in order to live in a man’s world.

She takes on different streamline appearances with herself, she loses a certain graciousness, she can shine with a beauty as she takes on an attire that fits more with how the masculine world works. But she has a tendency in doing so of losing a connection to the ability that she has to effectuate through her connection an effect in the inner that is outside of the senses and outside of the mind.

When she moves away from that profound side of herself, she is subrogating her energy into what her perceptions tell her is a more acceptable norm, in terms of the outer, and thus she loses an aspect that is very, very important for her in terms of how it is that she is meant to be centered, in terms of who it is that she is. She is trying to make herself into something that she is not. And we do that over and over again as if it can be found that way – and it’s called subrogation.

When you had the dream image of traveling to a place like a university in the northeast… It was the northeast, right?

Jeane: New Hampshire or somewhere, yeah.

John: That was kind of a type of answer as a way of counterbalancing what you had done in your first dream, because in your first dream if you were to depict a direction you would have been traveling to the southwest. If there would have been a direction then it would have been to the southwest, which would mean to the outer and into that which is setting, or coming to an end. In other words as opposed to something that is going into a spiritual awareness, and something fresh and new is coming in at the same time.

Something fresh and new comes in from the east and the direction with inside of yourself is said to be to the north – when you are attentive to the inner. It’s to the south when you’re attentive to the outer. It’s to the west when you’re attentive to trying to make something in the outer come together.

Your little sensation dream provided kind of like a sense of humor, hint, in terms of what was wrong. In the other dream that you had is that your attention was in the wrong direction.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Evolving from Within

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