Posts Tagged ‘divorce in a dream’

1u8When something shocking happens in a dream, it is often because the earlier cues have been missed. So our unconscious dials up the volume louder and louder, image after image, until we get the message. This is why dreams can start off simply and then become confused horror movies. Our systems are trying to help us see how best to proceed, and if the message is about something really important, the images will escalate in intensity. We also see this in waking life, where certain upsetting events will wake us up and cause us to change our course. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So in the next dream I seem to be like in my 30s or something. I have a husband, and I have a sister, and she has a husband and one or two children; boys. And we’re driving them cross country. It’s like they’re moving to Texas, and we must live in New York or somewhere, but in the dream it’s only like a two-day drive or something.

So we’re about a day out of Texas and we’ve stopped at this place to get refreshments, and go in and, you know, in the yard of this place I must be walking behind everybody else because I see another couple with their children; little boys that have stopped.

While their parents are kind of not looking, one of the boys has gone over, he must have been really thirsty, but he has dunked his head in this toilet that’s sitting out in the yard, that had filled up with water, to drink. And I think that’s kind of gross. The water’s probably clean, it’s just rainwater or something, but I find that a little gross, and wondering why the family was letting him do that.

And I kind of go into the store with everybody else and, while we’re in there, then I hear my sister scream or something. We come out and her son has drowned, something happened to him. So everybody’s sad and they’re upset, and I seem to be taking a bag out of the back of the car and rearranging the clothes in it so that we can lay her son’s body in there and transport it down to the funeral home, or something, in Texas.

And meanwhile my sister’s pretty hysterical and she tells me she’s leaving her husband, you know, as soon as we get there. And I tell her she can stay with us as long as she needs to, but I don’t think that she should leave him. But she says she’s leaving him because he has no rules. But I feel that she is hysterical right now, so I’m kind of just trying to encourage her to not make any decisions until she is more recovered.

John: You’re now started to describe the principle upon which you can tell the difference between what is a best-guess way of being, in the outer, versus something that has an inner reflective rejoicing quality, and a sweeping quality of the heart, as well.

But you break it down in just a couple of the components. The first component is you get the sense, the inflection, of something that cringes inside. And, typically, you would know the cringing or the shrinking quality that comes with that, which, you know, you can rationalize, or justify, even though what is taking place can have kind of a naturalness about it, in terms of a flow.

If you ignore that, then it gets louder. The reason why it’s getting louder is because, as a force of nature, as you’re walking around as the Crown of Creation human being, you’re setting off reverberations that are confusing. They’re confusing because you’re still subtly reflecting a having caught up with, or understanding of a, latent vibratory energy that is meant to be in manifestation but has gone extinct or something. And when that comes across it sets off, to begin with, the outer world way that you perceive this is some lower sensation quality that is there in the gap of a distance that is meant to be filled as a flow, and as an intertwining.

And so the first part where this comes across is the boy who’s drinking out of the toilet, sticking his head in the toilet. There’s a cringing sensation of something misaligned in that regard. And it can be dismissed as, okay, which is the tendency to do, because the water’s probably fine, and the whole process that the boy is going through satisfies his thirst that way. And so the means justify the end, or something, could be an easy way of trying to rationalize it.

But when you take and go a little dismissive and let go, then that means that you are missing the first inner heart cue and, as a consequence then, it has to get louder. And so how it gets louder for each person varies. For some people it can be a real huge sinking heart sensation of being. For other people it can be anger. For someone else it can be fear, but that gap that exists is unnatural to a wholeness of yourself that you carry.

And so the wholeness that you carry, from that latent nature that needs to sweep through into the overall, because as above so below, it needs to sweep through into the overall – it can’t do it. It screams, it goes through this drowning sensation. I mean it could be fear sensation, it could be an anger sensation, but in your particular case it’s this huge, loud, appalling drowning sensation loudness – which wouldn’t have had to happen if you had noticed that the quality, that’s very subtly within, that is missing in the outer, misaligned you might say even, in terms of how the masculine principle functions in life. If you had come and swept over it to give it a better sense of flow, this wouldn’t have been necessary.

But you didn’t do it, so it then takes on this louder quality effect. Now it can seem appalling that things have to function in this kind of loudness and shocking way, but that seems to be what causes a human being to catch up with this latent, inner vibratory essence that is meant to come into a flow in the outer, having been repressed, suppressed, and made extinct so that between two forces in the outer, between two underlying qualities in the outer, this gap is not closable unless you bring in this inner vibratoriness that is needed.

And you’re either going to notice it by the contraction and bizarreness that you pick up, that hits inflectively as wrong and off, because it hits the center of a greater knowingness or, if you proceed to try to dumb that down and remain blind – if you are a person who is lucky enough to have this quickened inside of yourself in terms of this latent dormancy – it’s not going to go silently away and yield to the density of things, like it is inclined to do under ordinary human condition circumstances. Instead it is going to insist upon being there to sweep something through, to sweep something up, to facilitate a natural flow. And if it requires a horrendous scene, you know the screaming and the shuddering, and the appallingness of something in order to make the bridge through the gap, it will do that.

So your second dream actually described how you can take and recognize this, basically a flip side way of being able to recognize that which is awry. You don’t have the good feeling side of it, you have the flip side feeling of it. And, initially, you go through the flip side, the negative feeling of it. You go through it over and over and over again in life.

And the way it comes across is you’re doing the best you can in terms of living life, and then something comes up and it throws you off. And you walk around feeling off. And you walk around being in some mood or some mannerism. For the longest, longest, longest time it works that way. It’s kind of a Pavlovian strange way of having to cope. You don’t know how to function according to a natural flow. You instead function according to shock treatment, so to speak, that shudders the heart. Yet there is a way of discerning that doesn’t have to be that way.

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Polar-OppositesHere, two phases of a dream show Jeane an inner dilemma, and the contrasting views that can allow her to weigh and understand where she is in the story of herself. At first she hesitates to intrude in a strange situation, and then she has a rendezvous with Jack Nicholson, the seeming epitome of ease in a social situation. Both sides of the scenario reveal a deeper truth about being in the flow. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I just remember bits of my dream last night. It’s like I’ve moved to this town. It’s kind of one of those towns with large houses and tree-lined streets. I’m in the midst of a divorce from my husband, who is this Canadian dentist who is rather cold and a little controlling.

We have two children who are like young adults, and I know I go to a meeting that some women in the community have. It’s almost like a club. When I come in, I don’t really know the women yet, and they’re all sitting on these like love seats or couches, that when I come in I realize I’m not certain where I should sit. Like if I sit in a certain place, is that the place of some other woman who has belonged to the club for a long time?

And then after I decided that there’s one place that has two seats that aren’t taken, I’ll sit there because then I know I’m not taking the place of someone who isn’t there yet, at least I don’t think I am. And I’m just kind of trying to get comfortable with the women who are having this social meeting.

Then when I talk with someone and they mention something about their children, and I mention something about my kids, too, and I guess this person mentions they’re from Canada, and I mention that I come from Canada, too, but then I realize that I don’t know whether I should tell them that I’m in the midst of a divorce or not.

I’m not sure how they feel about that. Then I have left there, and Jack Nicholson is one of my neighbors, and I’m fascinated by him, and he loves to seduce everyone in sight. He’s definitely the playboy, and I go over to his house.

I can’t tell if I’ve been with him before and I’ve been resisting him, or if I’ve slept with him once. I don’t know what the scenario is exactly, but I go over to his house because I realize I’ve lost my purse, or I’ve left my purse at his house. And I think that he has this maid who is just going to come to the door so I can get my purse, but I go over and the door is open, so I walk in and he comes down.

He’s only wearing his bathrobe, and I realize I’m only wearing a white bathrobe, too, so he just thinks I’m there to be with him, so he’s delighted with that situation. And he’s kind of laying down on the floor. And I go over to him and I say, well I can be with him, but only if he doesn’t tell anyone because if my husband found out, he’s kind of one of these mean or cold people who then would deny me the divorce, even though the husband is the one who wants the divorce.

And Jack Nicholson kind of lays back and he laughs, and he has this belt he’s kind of cracking in his hands. You know how you crack a belt by putting it together and pulling it apart? He says he’s not going to tell anyone because business is really great the way it is already. Then I think it’s okay to stay and be with him.

John: The theme of the dreaming has to do with adopting a type of, in your particular case, you’re adopting a type of what you consider is diplomacy, in terms of how you approach something.

In other words, you’re not as overt in your nature. You’ve come to recognize that being too forward, and too overt, or just taking and doing something just for the sake of the fact that you feel that you need it, or are entitled, or something like that. In other words, you’re showing good manners, like in the first part of the dream, where you’ve come into a place to take a seat, to a women’s meeting.

It’s as if you’re interested in understanding something, but at the same time you’re still playing some qualm. In other words, you don’t just come in and take a seat. It has to do with all of this consideration as to whether or not it’s appropriate for the space: is there someone else that could be sitting there, and things like that.

The fact that you’re acting like that means you’re carrying a sense of a type of wound, that still exists in your nature, whatever that might be. In other words, it’s an effect that’s rubbing off and coming out in terms of the choices that you see yourself making.

In other words, there’s this underlying characteristic that you have to work with, that you have to experience and feel, that you have to take into account. It’s more obvious in the second dream, in that there’s still the sense of something that you need, which is the underlying theme of the dreaming last night: how do we handle this sense where there’s still something that one kind of needs in some sort of latent context of themselves, and that in order to sneak around, or to get it or something, one has to hide this from another part of you.

Which is what you’re doing in the first dream, too, when you’re pondering whether someone else is coming that could need that seat, or belongs in that seat.

And in the case with Jack Nicholson, it’s like you have to hide what might be happening there from a part of yourself, because there’s another part of you that would, again, hold some sort of qualm against you. Just like in the first dream there’s the qualm of taking somebody’s seat, and then in the second dream there’s the qualm of something else that’s part of you not being able to handle that.

And the carefreeness of the situation, without the qualm, is an easygoing nature in which everything just tends to naturally come, the Jack Nicholson part where everything is just naturally there. He is what he is. It’s obvious what he is. He makes no bones about it, and why should he pussyfoot about or anything like that, because it could affect the overall flow of things? So he just goes along with the overall flow of things because it’s great.

If he had any conditions, or acted as if there was any diplomacy, or whatever, that needed to be taken into account and factored into the situation, then that idea doesn’t go along with the fact that it might in fact affect the fact that business is great, so why does he even need to ponder or contend with that?

You’re contrasting a quality of an energy inside of yourself that has this really wide open nature state, that is possible, that is there as a counter image to look at in a certain kind of airy way, and contrast to a quality in your nature in which there’s something that you’re not sure of, in terms of the unfoldment of things, like the seat and whatnot, if it’s appropriate.

In other words, you have some sort of sense about you, in terms of something else, so whether that’s appropriate or not for you to be able to appreciate the seat that’s there. A Jack Nicholson scenario is he’d never think twice and, even if it did take the seat of someone else it would be like his space would make it okay, his whole spatial orientation.

But in your case, your spatial orientation is as if you’re hurting something, or hurting yourself. And it’s the same way in relationship to, you can’t cut something off. You can’t end something, because you have this quality inside you that feels that if you do that, you’re spiting yourself in some fashion.

The deeper meaning of a dream like this is that there’s something that you’re holding back on, that you feel you have to hold back on, or you feel you have to hide, and as a result it compromises you in various fashions in terms of how you’re able to free flow, and whatever that is it’s not that issue that’s important, it’s the fact that you note that vibration in relationship to the Jack Nicholson vibration.

And it’s not that the Jack Nicholson vibration is correct either. It’s just that you have to notice the two extremes, the part of you that has qualms, versus the part of you that drops it all and can just be any way that it wants to be.

You sit there and you look at those two qualities, and somehow or another, in looking at the two qualities you feel more or less the sense of limitation in one, and perhaps even a type of emptiness in the other, but anyway, at this stage in which you’re dreaming, there is no middle ground. You’re just observant of the fact that you still carry this one particular trait that kind of keeps you pent up in some fashion, and hiding something, and cautious about things because you know that there’s something latent that’s yet to be reached.

And the carrying of that as an energetic then, is in contrast to the state of yourself that is totally free, and precocious, and just is, and has a persona that is completely out in the open, like that and to compromise that one iota could affect that general overall flow.

And so you’re having to reconcile in a sense where one aspect is enslaved to a certain degree, and another aspect is over indulgent, and how you end up with that, or what you end up with is still a type of seeking.

Because if you take and you spend time with Jack Nicholson, and you still carry that other as a type of reservation, then you’re acting in a deprivation mode and you kind of come to see that in relationship to the fact that Jack Nicholson, in his freedom, and in his emptiness, isn’t carrying the deprivation mode.

So how do you function? It’s like it can’t be that state, and at the same time you can’t stay where you are. When you stay where you are, you’re pent up in some fashion, and then the actions you take are still conditioned.

So you’re looking at that odd particular vibration that’s still drifting about in your nature. Isn’t that interesting?

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Contrasting States

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