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Posts Tagged ‘dreaming into knowing’

In spiritual development, going deeper inside is a way of describing what it feels like to move our center of gravity from the outer, physical world, to the world of energetic connections. And these connections are considered subtle, to begin with, because they are usually drowned out by the noise of external considerations and personal involvement. Yet, as we proceed, quietening the noise of ourselves, what is subtle will become much louder to us, and become the intelligence we turn to rather than using only our brain. This level is a connected, guided life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my particular case I got a glimpse of it, and that’s what screwed me up in meditation, and then everything was just all haywire in terms of the dreams.

In the meditation dream I appear to be asking the question: is there another level of consciousness that I have no sense about? I sense that this must be so, as a furtherance of the reason for manifestation and the illusionary struggles, the reason why they’re there, because you can look at all the stuff in manifestation and then you could see that it’s about something.

So I experience a glimpse of the greater letting go stillness, that I am aware exists, at the interval of the breath. So this is typical stuff. This is my usual pattern. I’m back to looking at this because, is there something more? And this, for me, has been as good as it gets as far as I know, but still I’m wondering about this, about there being more, as I notice that in spite of that there is still the reaching further within, when the outer that is in a dire straight is exemplified. In other words, where you have to take responsibility for it. If you don’t take responsibility for it, you can kind of move that way.

For a split second I get a glimpse of something I had never taken into account before. In other words, it was like a level of being, a quality of being, that I couldn’t put any parameters, I couldn’t put my finger on, and, as a consequence, it really throws you haywire. And so I was baffled, and bewildered, and had no context. I’m talking about it in kind of a denial way, but what it does is it makes you almost crazy, immediately; you just can’t look at it. You have to drop it immediately. You have to dismiss it because it’s too hard on the circuits, or, as I put it, I had to let it go because it was too much.

The idea that there is yet another aspect of being, which is even subtler than what I currently sense in regards to the breath, was too much for me to accept. I mean I couldn’t get a handle on it at all. It just went kapoof. It blew all of that. It was like a shift from all that had been.

So I lack a context for this at this time. In order for this to exemplify an even deeper depth to the denseness, in other words, that’s what this is kind of like, in order to take something to a dire extreme, like the perspective of peace in the world or something like that, which, deep down, one knows is helpless, in order to be a hold to that you have to have this quality somewhere within, that is ordinarily, if you don’t do it, too sensitive, and subtle to catch up with, or to make itself known.

To make sense of things, in a non-crazed way, it would seem that within a greater indulgence into the reflective outer, which normally leads to a greater delirium, but when you can go into that and hold something deeper yet inside, the only way you can go more into the outer and indulge more in the outer is to have this other that better be there, the subtler quality of your beingness, because otherwise you just dismiss things that you see in the outer as reckless and foolhardy.

Thus, the deeper truth behind tipping at windmills, in terms of a being, is a deeper calling and aspect of our nature. If it’s not awakened, you don’t do it, because your common sense and your mental understanding of things keeps you from going into things that are futile. You have to sense, or know, that a greater moreness, or awareness, or quality of subtleness that’s latent within, you have to have a sense of that to do it, because, rationally speaking, based upon the way I am observing things at this time, and, of course, trying to do that in cohesion with the breath – it will make no sense.

So there is the something else isn’t there, and how is it taught? How do you teach that? So to repeat, all of this musing is because I glimpse something subtler that I had never seen, as an aspect within, and had to drop it as it was too much, too destabilizing, and invoked a going crazy insanity.

Scenario: I’m theming along the lines of putting into my heart a denser outer that I dismiss as hopeless. This is not consciously possible without this other subtler beingness embodied simultaneously. So that’s the meditation dream. Isn’t that odd?

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eye-of-the-stormIt may seem counterintuitive to realize that we have to bring stillness into the chaos of life. And that means our personal stillness. We will never be able to calm all the situations we come across, but we can always control the inner stillness – once we have built that essence within us. And we build it through conscious practice, and we won’t be very good or last very long to begin with. But, over time, our systems will see that it is important to us, and support our desire to have such stillness. Then it will be our serene radiation, in a chaotic scene, that will bring a sense of calm and relief to those nearby. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well I was a little unsettled last night, and I feel like the dream I had was a dream I’d had before. It was just a bit chaotic.

In this dream I’m a counselor, but I seem to live in a cabin that adjoins other cabins, that adjoins an area where people also go out and party. Then the office is down some stairs and over in front of maybe a lodge and things. And so I check with a secretary that I’m going to have clients coming, and I had run into some clients and tried to get them scheduled. It seemed to be couples more that I was working with. Everything’s just a little chaotic.

One woman I’m going to see I think by herself, and I’m trying to go back to my cabin, and I’m thinking I’ll go through the backdoor because there seem to be so many people around. And I start to go down one dark way and I know it’s a shortcut, but then I look there and it’s all dark on both sides and you’d almost have to crawl part of the way. So I’m deliberating, because I’m a little bit started in that passageway with her behind me.

Then I look again and I see what looks kind of like an ominous man standing in this passageway, down near the end of it, and I think this just isn’t that smart. You can’t even see what’s anywhere in here; it’s too dark, it’s long, and I don’t like the figure of that man there.

So we back out and I take her another way. Now, I still bring up to a passageway that’s a shortcut into my backdoor, but just when we’re about to get there some policeman stops us because he thinks we’re breaking into my place – because we’re not going in the usual way.

So then I have to end up, I think, going through where the party, or the patio, is to go and see her at my place. And then, as I leave there and I’m going back to the reception area, I run into an area where different people are sitting, and several clients are there, and I introduce myself because it feels like I’ve met one of them and her husband but I hadn’t met the others. And I’m not sure about the timing; like I am not sure if I am actually supposed to see them next, or if I had other people scheduled.

And then the receptionist is a little miffed with me because by taking someone in the back way she hadn’t realized I was with somebody. Then I realized that my next group of people I have to see it’s actually three couples, or six people, that are sharing children that they’ve all had amongst them, between marriages and divorces.

So then I take them back to my place and I’m trying to sort them out – so I actually get out a blackboard. I’m trying to put names up, having one of them put everybody’s names up, and which kids are with whom, when, and where, so I can at least just sort out the players and know what’s going on here. And I think that was when I woke up.

John: Although it’s hard to see, in the dream, what you’re doing is you’re contending, or evaluating, how to relate to chaos from the standpoint of amidst the people, or quietly. In other words, the chaos is just the natural order of things.

The place that you have, if you go in the front door it’s just going to be over the top chaos, and yet the people you work with live in a kind of chaos. In other words, you’re having to sort something out. And so the idea is: can you isolate that sort of thing in order to get it so that it makes sense, or balances out?

So what you find out is that on your first attempt trying to come in through a back way you create isolation, you create a distance, you create gaps or barriers. There’s a darkness. So what you’re doing is you’re taking something that exists, in a realm of chaos, and you’re trying to deal with it in an isolated way – and that seems to raise more questions than it answers. And then you go at it again, only this time the situation has gotten louder in terms of the kind of chaos, the nature of the chaos, the complexity of it.

In other words, before it was just like one person or something, and now all of a sudden it’s three couples and they have all the kids, and which kids go to which? And you’re going to try to do that in an isolated way, a quiet way. And so the whole point of it is, you can’t avoid it.

In other words, if you ponder that image of having to deal with three couples trying to figure out how to pull all of that together, in relationship to separating it out from the chaos, coming at it in an isolated way, you find yourself unable to make a proper distinguishment. Yet this is a choice that you’re trying to make because going into the front, or facing it head on, seems way too wild.

So what is this dream trying to say? Well, the theme of the dreaming last night had to do with examining and taking a look at the fact that we live in a life in which around us is nothing but constant chaos. The outer events of things, our senses and everything is constantly engaged in that, and it is a reflection. And out of this chaos, one has to find the stillness. Out of the chaos… you’re dealing with the principle of the great transformation.

In the chaos you’re meant to catch up with the stillness. The tendency is to try to screen the stillness separate from the chaos – as if you could distinguish this over here, and that over there, and you actually can’t do it. This is a key bit of information in that it’s easy to recognize, or to come to know, or to see that in the up and downness of the breath is a lot of bewilderment and spiritual illusion, or, you might say, the flux of transformation and chaos. And that there is a stillness, but you are not going to catch up with the stillness by taking and pushing away and trying to create an isolation, or a separation, from the ordinary chaos of things. You’re in the midst of that. You have to contend with it.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Kind of Chaos

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i1209gesIt curious how things change. It may appear to us that everything happens gradually, step by step, but the change happens instantly. Even in learning to ride a bike, we keep trying and trying and we still don’t know how. Then, suddenly, we do, and what we have gained can never be taken away from us – because we are actually different. It is the steps and effort that eventually help us make a change, but the change can only happen when the criteria has been met, and then it changes forever. This is important to understand in our journey, because sometimes we may feel like we’re not getting anywhere, but the truth is: we are getting somewhere, but we’re just not there yet. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Actually, the theme of the dreaming was about switching, and how that process works. And, of course, what was being challenged is our concept, in terms of how that works.

Our concept is we are inclined to think that we go from one place, from inner into outer, or outer into inner, in a sort of sorting out way, as if there’s a gray zone, as if we awaken between the two aspects of our overall beingness. An aspect that’s on the inner, that is more than we can know and catch up with, that, among other things, embodies all the planes of light, and an aspect that is in the outer, that embraces, and seeks to embody, a quality of an essence put into thought, to create a concretized domain. And we don’t sit and awaken in the way that we would like to believe, in which we think we do, as a process.

We don’t go and do this in a gray zone, meaning sorting out the inner and the outer. That idea that it works like that, a process of going home, so to speak, a journey, that’s actually all illusion. You’re either one place, or the other, and we’re always in, so to speak, both places simultaneously – or as close to simultaneous as possible – because you have the in-breath and the out-breath, and on the in-breath you’re in the inner, and on the out-breath you’re back into the outer, and it’s not a matter of distinguishment as a means of being on the inner and in the outer.

It’s not a distinguishing game between the two. It’s not some sort of sift and sort. That’s a bewilderment zone. That’s an amnesia to the breath that causes us to connote that way. It’s kind of like black-and-white. It’s a switch that’s just boom, boom, not with all of the commotion. Yet in the plane of the outer, in the plane of manifestation, we long for something more that is, so to speak, our beingness in the light, the unseen light. And in the plane of light we quest for a human body. In other words, we are both an inner and an outer, simultaneous. And the gray zone, where we use the mind senses as if we’re going somewhere, to create the sensation of a journey, that’s all spiritual illusion.

So that’s what I came to learn from the meditation dream and the sleep dream.

So, in the meditation dream, there’s a way of sugarcoating manifestation, from the inner level of existence, as being correlated to the underlying essence therein, that can be shattered. In other words, you tend to try to correlate it, but it needs to just get shattered. In other words, it’s a distinction that we make out as if there’s an awakening in a more and more kind of way, instead of a sudden and abrupt shattering.

In other words, what I experienced inside was I was suddenly given an experience where this in between process that we go through, that’s kind of like a gray border area, or zone, in which our mind senses and whatever it is, and everything vies for the heart as we’re trying to sort this thing out, suddenly went poof! And when it went poof, I saw this as either all in the inner, or all in the outer. And then I saw that it’s always both, because that’s the nature of the breath. Where the in-breath turns to the out-breath is the essence of it all, and where the out-breath turns to the in-breath, in manifestation, that’s the longing to it all, put into a concretized nature.

So, in the dream, I was shown the distinction between inner and outer, meaning that there is nothing in between, and the distinction was not some sort of steady seeking in a matter of degree way, like a journey, but an abrupt shattering of the veil. The veil was completely shattered, not experienced as a matter of some sort of ever increasing degree. This stunned and shocked my sensibilities. I hadn’t expected this. I just didn’t know, or wasn’t going around realizing, that the distinction is so black-and-white.

So why was this important? It is important to know the difference as being black-and-white as a shattering of a veil between the two, you might say, planes of inner and outer, and all of the levels that that might be, as opposed to a gray zone approach where one is lost in the abiding, as if there is a distinguishable in between, which introduces a touchy feeliness into the equation.

You don’t sneak up on consciousness. You let go of a distraction, in an abrupt black-and-white switch; just drop it. That’s why the practices of stopping your mind and all of that stuff are to get you to realize that it’s just a switch, it just boom. You’re either there, or you’re not. The gray zone area is where spiritual illusions and self-deception abide. We make all that up. This is what we do to ourselves in our quandary.

In other words, you flicker back and forth. You short out, because you can’t make the compromised gray zone work – because it doesn’t really exist. It’s a spiritual illusion of one’s nature because awareness isn’t something that’s approximate. In other words, the awareness of both places, there’s no approximation between the two. It’s one, or the other, and everything else is noise, spiritual illusionary noise, that we make up and cause that to be like a journey. The mind tries to make the distinction, and, in doing so, causes the flickering sensation that’s the spiritual illusion.

When the mind and senses stop pretending, in a this and that way, the gray zone will fall away. There is either physical existence, or light, i.e., black-and-white. To say that there is an unfoldment process, in which we awaken, to aspire to an ever unfolding higher self, is a head game. When you take the head game out, there is just the breath. The gray zone demeanor we delusionally self-impose veils us from experiencing the black-and-white consciously, or the breath consciously.

The mystic can experience the in-breath plane of light, and the out-breath’s gravitational ghost energy planes of existence, the back and forth of the breath is not a complex science. The illusion of there being a mind sense orientation is what makes this seem so, because the mind sense orientation is correlated to the planes of physical existence.

So when it is said that everything must go to shift from black to white, as a way of saying it, this means that the mind sense orientation, suited for physical existence only, must stop. A human being cannot take the mind senses into the light. Or, to put it another way, the mind senses veil us from a conscious in-breath.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Conscious Breath

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