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Posts Tagged ‘dreams help us balance’

i2tav

Willie Holdman

This dream begins with the image of an idyllic setting, in a meadow by a stream, but the dreamer cannot fully be in the beauty and naturalness of the moment. Yet we could also apply this to our view of the everyday: we find ourselves on a planet where everything we need is provided, and each day, each moment, is energetically different from the last, but still beautiful, and fascinating, in the experience of it. So what is all this “stuff” we have put in the way of our engagement with the natural perfection around us, personally or as a species? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in my first dream, my meditation dream, I am unable to enjoy the outer flow, like everyone else, because I’m holding onto issues and this is keeping me pent up. I don’t even know what the issues are that I’m holding onto.

And so the image is: I’m kind of in a nice meadow setting, out in nature, and there is a stream, and a river, and the sun is just perfect and really nice out. And ordinarily you would look at the water and you’d say, well, it’s too cold to get in the water, but not only is everyone around me getting in the water, in other words, even though it’s a country setting and kind of quiet and peaceful, there are people and they have come to this area and they’re getting in the water.

And those that have dogs are taking the dogs in the water, and the dogs really are loving the water, too. And it’s like not only are they having a good time, but the dogs are having a good time in the water; it’s just like this whole thing has a whole redeeming process.

In this dream, those who are going in the water, and taking their dogs and everything in the water, were just letting go into a free flow. And even though I was pulled to wanting to test water myself, to see if it was too cold and whatnot, I had some sort of pent-up nature that I just couldn’t shake.

It’s not that I knew what the pent-up nature was. I couldn’t put my finger on the pent-up nature even, but it was something that had me in some sort of tiff, or a mood, or something, and holding back as if by holding back I’d eventually figure it out – but there was nothing on the horizon showing that I was figuring it out. And what was obvious is what I was missing.

And, at one particular point, I kind of let go or something a tiny bit and I threw myself in the water, clothes, shoes, and everything on, and realized, yeah, the water’s wonderful. It’s not as cold. But nope, I still had my nuances, I still had my pent-upism, and I had to come out of the water.

And so what I’m portraying is a quality of bewilderment, and you have this in the out-breath when you’re at a point where you can’t quite sort things out. You are overwhelmed by something that you aren’t able to put your finger on yet.

I’m inclined to be affected by something that is vague to me, that I’m not able to quite catch up with and properly recognize, so I’m inclined to be carrying some sort of nuance trying to find some sort of focus and attention, which, when I find it, supposedly that leads to a balance, so that I can then just appreciate things as they are. And so I’m not quite able to free flow, or let go.

The meaning I write up is that my resolve is being tested. You know, that’s kind of what the outer is all about, to see if you can get closer to something. The question is: can I let go of nuances that, like an inner resolve that I cannot reach, are keeping me from enjoying life in a free flow way? I need to break free of some sort of trance that I am in. The pent-up demeanor is blocking a connection, and I need to let go of that to free flow.

This sort of letting go, or whatever the kind of letting go is that I have to do, that would lead to a natural free flow, will not only relieve me of what I am holding onto, but it supports the free flow and naturalness that is predominating in the surrounding environment. But the natural condition, the primordial naturalness, is askew.

The reason why I’m putting this pressure upon myself, and the reason why I’m acting like this, is it’s like one is directed into the physical to sort and get closer to something. There’s a responsibility to catch up with something. And you carry around a kind of awkward bewilderment  because you’re trying to get into the outer and you can’t. In other words, you can’t quite catch up with whatever this responsibility is.

In other words, therein lies the confusion, and my condition defies the natural letting-go process to a free flow because I am not breaking free of a stigma trance I am in. Until I either let go of this pent-up condition, or catch up with it and own it, I am unable to be naturally free to enjoy the flow and wonderful setting, or conditions, that are permeating the atmosphere for all to see but me.

It’s an awkward, bewildering, condition to have to be in, where I could jump in the water and feel wonderful, but I can’t quite let myself do it because I’m still carrying some sort of nuance or mannerism. That’s painful, that’s really bizarre to have to carry that. There’s a sadness in that.

And this continues into the next dream, it’s repeated again, in that in the next dream there was a time when I was able to see what time it was on a watch. In other words, it’s like somehow or another I’ve gone distant so that, as I glance, I can’t necessarily see the watch anymore. And I can maybe make it out a little bit, but I could get it wrong. Instead of it being, say, 2 o’clock, I might read it as 3 o’clock or something. In other words, there’s a gap, or a distance, that has developed.

In other words, something has changed, like I’m further away. And so I say, in the dream, “I’ve got to be able to read the dials on a watch. So much depends upon getting that right. I can’t be guessing.” So, in the dream, others actually expect me to be able to tell the time. In fact, I’m being relied upon for that.

And so the meaning is, in the dream, over the passage of time, I have gotten ungrounded. In other words, just like I couldn’t go into the water because I couldn’t let go of something, in that sense I’m ungrounded. I’m in a bewildered state. I haven’t sorted out the thought-upon-thoughts that are compelling, that haven’t made themselves known to where they could be let go of into an empty space. That empty space can be in the out-breath to in-breath, too, and so I’m meant to know the balance and timing.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Balance and Timing

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John: Last time we ended with a voice in my dream saying,You have a call from all sources of what is going on, and a minute amount of awareness about it .” (For the background to this discussion, see A Touch of Mink, and Seeing the Light Beer.)

So I seem to have a minute understanding, based upon comparative experience, to know when something needs to be poured out (the beer), versus when it is to be ignored and remained bottled.

My first dream had to do with having to contend with mink energy, which is set in its nature but tends to be fairly refined compared to squirrel energy, which forages about in life and tries to make the best of a situation.

And squirrel energy is progressive. It might be a little frenetic as it accumulates things. It can even tend to hurt the subtle unfolding, but it definitely gets the attention of that which is old guard and trying to maintain the status quo.

That which is trying to maintain its status quo  – the mink energy – sits behind its established security (the gated area), but tends to lose, over time, its connection to its surroundings. In other words, what is peripheral starts to fall away, and the old guard energy becomes more and more isolated in how sustains and maintains itself.

That’s what old energy tends to do – it gets isolated and disconnected, whether we are speaking of old patterns, old leadership, or old civilizations. New energy coming in, which functions on a similar parallel but is still active and vibrant, tends to create a stir energetically, and instigate change while the status quo tries to maintain its perimeters and resist any change.

In life today, what is going on is that at the very top echelon of things we have an attempt to maintain a status quo, and to some degree that defense of the established system can be vicious. And the mink is one of the most ferocious of all the weasels, even though it’s not often thought of that when it’s admired for it’s beauty. It’s viewed as something to attain, to reach, and then to maintain and protect and ward off other aspects in life.

So the squirrel is viewed as something that creates a disturbance that disrupts the tranquility of things, yet at the same time it can bring about greater awareness – if it’s doing it consciously instead of chaotically. It can cause a greater awareness of the aspects of life that have been neglected for so long, but need to be awakened to and appreciated, i.e., the spiritual aspects.

So that was the first dream and then it progresses to the second dream in which there are two qualities, or states, of life – the spiritual and the cultural, or the inner and the outer – that have been separated, and if no action is taken they will stay separated. But if we learn how to press on something, to instigate an awakening, we can cause a change in the flow.

Then something new and different can occur. How do we know when it’s time to do that or not? Well, the imagery of the third dream, with the beers, offers us a clue: a Budweiser is considered a beer of the present, of the common man, and the Miller beer is a beer that used to be seen as common and then became somewhat more sophisticated before it fell out of sight.

No one thinks much of a Miller beer anymore. Anyone who used to order a Miller beer, now orders a Bud. A Bud under most conditions is fine but if you’re dealing with something that’s a little more gentrified, a Miller is actually a better tasting beer. Nobody thinks of that. Most don’t make that subtle distinction.

This is some sort of pun in my dream, where I’m drinking that which is common in life and then I realize that that which is uncommon in life remains bottled, unopened. Then I progress to where I pour the beer into a glass (to bring it back into an aliveness instead of it letting it remain shut off), and it seems to create a possibility where it can be appreciated more.

When it becomes something that’s more appreciated, and I’m able to know the difference between the two, that’s when it’s assumed that I’m developing a sense of what is going on in terms of various energetic levels, because there are different stages of things awakening.

When we develop an understanding of what is going on then the next thing that needs to happen is for us to pull out some “minute amount of awareness about it.” In other words, it’s going on for a reason in terms of that which is designed, and we need to be conscious of that process.

I guess that’s the sense that I have inside, that somehow we need to find a way to be able to keep shifting, and accommodating, that which is important to a situation, and to an occasion in life. No matter where we go or what we do, we need to keep that awareness and stay with the flow. We need to balance the guidance of the inner to what is happening in our outer lives.

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John: So yesterday we looked at the first in this series of dreams (see Not Being There), and each subsequent dream progresses in a way that seeks to fix, or evolve, the situation into a better state, from within, but it’s still off. The general inspiration for these dreams is our recent transition from the Northwest to the city of Las Vegas, and our process of making adjustments within ourselves as a result of the different environmental factors

The next images have me preparing to meet with someone. I’ve spent more than 15 minutes trying to get my glasses clean because all kinds of weird stuff has fallen on them. I’m trying to scrape it off.

I see that I’m veering away from where I’m expected to go. When I get to a building, I realize that I still need some sort of metal object that can slice; I need something that’s strong and firm enough that it can cut through things. I must build it myself.

I have permission to go into an area where odds and ends are stored to select something that might work to help rectify the condition. I take out four objects in an effort to alleviate the situation. I think I can use a welding tool to cobble things into place, but what I’ve selected doesn’t work because when I apply any heat to it, it will melt or burn through the material. The tools I have do not have what it takes to hold something in place, so I’m using this material to create something that can slice through. 

Meanwhile, I need to set this project aside because I’m running late and I nearly compromise my principles because I’m under pressure. At the last minute I clean up after the work I’ve done.

In other words, I tried to cut a little of this off, I tried to burn a little of that off, and I made a bit of a mess. I pick up after myself and take what’s left of the implements – they need to be returned. They didn’t work for me, but maybe they can be used as components for something else. I look around to see if I can make anything else work for what I need.

Someone is coming over so I have to put everything aside for now. But instead of putting the tools into a closet or some drawers where they would best be kept, I put some of them into a refrigerator. I can straighten that out later, but at the moment I need to gain some composure for my meeting.

What is this showing me? Well, although I still haven’t accomplished what I was trying to do, I’m aware of what the problem is – I just haven’t acquired the proper tools that I need to be successful.

However, I do realize that I must look within myself for what I need, in order to find balance in the outer life. This will take time, but at least I’m looking around (within) for the tools to resolve the imbalance. If I were looking for the solution in the outer life, I would be in serious trouble.

In the next dream, the imagery moves further toward a sense of completion (after that, my dreams again start to deviate from it, showing that nothing is complete, all is just a step forward and then it all starts over again).

In this dream, I find a condo that I feel I can make into a place of balance. I notice that in doing this, other apartment units near mine start changing, shaping themselves up to be more in a balanced energetic.

So what had been a state of confusion and chaos, in terms of everything being too much to cope with (because of the sensory overload of Las Vegas), is now being brought into greater alignment. I see that I’m able to move about without feeling so lost.

What this adds to the scenario is that, if I take the time to look at what lies within – as an awareness, or as an answer – I’m better able to flow in the maze of the outer world. I’m learning how to hold onto and apply an inner connection that is able to reach into all that is before me.

And I’m starting to find the value latent within (the outer world of Las Vegas) that I ordinarily don’t reach (nor do most people). Nearly everyone in Las Vegas is expecting to catch up with the meaning of this place in some sort of outer reflection, and that is just a veil over what is really here.

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