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Posts Tagged ‘ego life or spiritual life’

ego-face-masksThis dream encapsulates one of the fundamental premises of a spiritual journey: we must let go of our ego identity to reconnect ourselves with God and creation. It describes a situation where, on the surface, one person is so caught up in themselves that they are unable to ask for the help they need, when a willing person is right there to help. We all have these experiences in life. It’s a perfect analogy to our relationship with God and the grace of the universe: we need to let go of our separateness and ask for the help that is waiting there for us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: It’s almost like there needs to be a type of process upon which something settles out in order for me to catch the dreams. At least I ponder that, because when I go and I meditate and I come back, it’s almost like if anything, I touch something in a way so subtly that there’s too big of a gap to turn all of that into a dream or something that I can hold onto.

And if I do, it can be deeper. But the danger exists of having nothing. But in this particular instance, where I thought that I was waking up with something that was bizarre, and then I laid back and I realized that I was looking at something, and there actually was something there, that I better play with that.

And usually when it’s like that, sometimes that can be extremely deep, especially if it’s something that correlates, or relates, backwards in time, to when one was going around doing things in the outer, and didn’t have an understanding, other than just doing what you do, stabbing yourself, doing all the things that you do, and one didn’t have the understanding to look at what one was doing and see what that implicated, in terms of the other side, which is what you were doing in your dream.

I guess, in a way, what this is requiring me to do, in terms of seeing what it is that is meant to be seen, in terms of the action from the other side, or other deeper part of yourself.

So in this dream, I’m in a county treasurer’s office looking at the tax rolls. It seems like there’s somebody else with me, who’s just hanging out or something, but actually is a little more social.

And everything that is there, has it all tumbled together. In other words, there are the paid taxes and the delinquent taxes. I’m in a state that doesn’t want to speak my need or something, so I’m only interested in the delinquent taxes. Deep down I know that this treasurer probably knows that, but it’s up to me to say that. 

Instead I just keep tumbling through this book which has it all jumbled together. It’s a needle in a haystack. Off to one side I can see the treasurer as if she’s there, a very nice lady, observing what I am doing, and she has this sympathetic look. 

She probably knows who I am as a person from long ago, as some sort of memory, and it’s a memory of me being a person who goes through delinquent taxes. Yet here I am, going through this whole great big roll instead of succinctly the delinquent taxes.

And I have the sense she is aware that I am not connecting as directly as I seek, and I just don’t have the inertia inside to ask for help. I try to find what I need. In other words, I just fumble about as if I’m going to find what I need on my own, as if it’s going to just magically appear. 

Consequently, in the dream, I am not looking at the list of delinquent taxes, nor am I sorting out from the delinquent taxes, because first of all, you have to get to the delinquent tax list and then from that is what you sort out as the taxes which I’m able to work with. 

In other words, some of them are delinquent, but there are those that you can then take on and work with and incorporate, as some aspect that can involve you. Instead I seem to be relying upon a latent instinctual memory that is ungrounded. 

In other words, it’s a memory that I have done this sort of thing in the past, and so I’m feeling a certain quality inside that I tend to hold onto these days, and it’s a certain freedom within the breath. It’s a certain lightness. 

It can exist as a spaciousness that’s separate from the way things are densely in the outer, and so, as a consequence of being like that, I don’t reach beyond this spiritual, illusionary, limitation and ask for help. 

It’s as if this is going against my dense ego nature, which likes the suspense because I’m invoking a curiosity – but who gives a shit about that? I’m there to go directly into something and figure it out. And so by not doing it, I suffer and beat myself up, expecting what I feel I am entitled to and that this will somehow come to my attention. 

So I probe around in the tax roll book, which is huge, almost endless, as if I will somehow intuitively be able to stumble upon what I need – a blind faith which clings to the separation instead of letting go.

And what it feels like in the breath is a floaty sensation in which the breath is high in the chest and, when it’s like that, it’s a type of ungroundedness that prevails. I know from deep within that there is an ancient memory which has, in the past, connected with life. 

I also have the sense the treasurer would like to help me, that she feels sad for me in some way. I need to ask for help. I can’t seem to bring myself to do that, so I hang out in this off-the-ground imaginative, not penetrating the barrier.

So the meaning of the dream is that the condition I am experiencing within, is separate energetically from my surrounding environment. I’ve chosen to make it that way, and I am not taking an inner vibratory quality directly into creation. 

I’m hanging out with the vibration in kind of an ungrounded way, which is a waste of time. Until I figure out how to touch creation, a barrier exists. My energetic, or whatever it is that I carry, or the space that I’m coming from, intrigues the treasurer, because I can see her off to one side kind of wondering what she can do. But she can’t do anything if I act like everything is copacetic.

I know that this is an energetic that I’m carrying, which requires a more direct connection for it to work. But, like I said, I just choose to maintain a mystique rather than make a proper contact with her.

The treasurer, in this instance symbolizing creation, is a service to those who can speak their need. I need to let go for this to happen, and I, to not do so is a situation in which a heart-to-heart relationship is lacking. To break through the barrier is a two-way process.  

She has a responsibility and I have a need. I mean, she has a responsibility to the county, to the bigger picture. She has a responsibility for the taxes to be paid. She has a responsibility to the services of the overall county.

And I have a need in that my little role plays a tiny, tiny part in that process. But nothing can happen if I am unable to let go of the mystique I carry aloofly. If I were to let go I would have access to a linkage which is currently lacking.

Instead I look around thinking I will find this connection in some sort of entitlement manner. I have gotten spoiled because I was allowed to have a taste of that sort of thing, as a gift. Such a windfall that was bestowed long ago is no longer provided in this way.

I am required to close the gap now. The gap exists because I have gotten used to preferring the barrier. At one point I could jump through the barrier. The sensation is that creation feels for me, yet I remain righteously separate.

I am able to receive from creation when I drop the aloof energetic sensation – by just letting go. This connection occurs when the heart is receptive to what creation has to offer. I am able to access the vibration that creation needs, but to help creation a heart-to-heart connection is required.

The purpose of this dream is to show me the stab to the heart, which separates me from an aspired connection. As long as the separation pain exists, I am not closing the gap. The barrier is ego. 

This is a demeanor that seeks exclusivity, so I suffer and am unable to receive. The danger of being like this is the losing of the gift of giving. This is a gift that exists in the space that is separate from the delusion of an ego self that sees itself as separate.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Barrier of Ego

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In today’s dream, Jeane describes an image that raises a fundamental question: What is the reason for life? Within that question is a fundamental choice: Do we live this life for our selves (satisfying our ego), or are we meant to live it for a greater purpose within the Whole? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

 Jeane: The next image was a little harder for me to pull out, but it feels like I’m going somewhere. It feels like maybe it’s a parade where they’re selecting Miss America or something like that. It’s going to have a beauty contest involved in it.

On my way there I seem to pick up the responsibility for this little girl. I have a friend that I think comes to help, too. The little girl seems like she’s come from a very privileged home, and is very naïve or inexperienced about certain things.

Rather than have to carry her the whole way, I decide to let her ride a bike. But I just have the parts of the bike, and I start putting it together, and it has these little copper knobs I have to figure out how to connect one part to the other and then it becomes a whole bike.

So I get the bike together – it’s actually a tricycle – but then I realize this girl had come from such a privileged background she actually doesn’t know how to ride it. So then it leaves me with a dilemma of maybe trying to get her to ride it now and then, but actually carrying her and the tricycle to the parade.

I think on the way there I have a couple of stops. I remember at one stop there’s a man that sits down and starts talking to us. He has a uniform on and even though he has a certain light about him, I’m kind of put off because I have the charge of this little girl and you don’t want little kids to talk to strangers, you know.

Then there’s another instant where I have to stop briefly at my house and have my friend watch her while I take a shower. Then it feels like we finally get to wherever the parade and the contest will be.

John: Well, it’s like looking at an older side of yourself and a younger side of yourself. In other words, you make things out of matter – the one element that’s important to making things industrially, it is considered the industrial component to making things out of matter, is copper.

The older part of yourself has learned how to function, and is functioning, in the outer world as if you can do this stuff literally. As if you can make things out of images and reflections, in other words. It is a little bit… goes around and around in circles as part of deluding one’s self, but you can do that.

The younger part of you is a part of yourself that doesn’t know how to ride the bicycle or the tricycle or whatever it is, because it sits in a state of innocence where it hasn’t yet bought into the inflection to the point where it indulges, and then when it indulges then it contends with what it’s like to mess around or play with the tricycle.

The older part of you thinks it has to take charge of this younger part of you that isn’t getting the memo, that hasn’t yet figured it out, that has to be taken care of. And that’s the game that goes on in life. The parents take care of the children, but the way they take care of them is they indoctrinate them into the outer.

And when a baby is born it identifies with the soul level, and it stays with that identification on the soul level until that ego starts to be developed in its nature. And then the development of that ego causes it to find its own way and mannerisms in terms of coping in the outer. And it’s said that a baby as it is in the in-between phase, is kind of in a type of protective security where it doesn’t hurt itself or fall down. It’s almost like it has a guardian angel over it, and then slowly but surely that even disappears.

And the child is supposed to have developed certain traits for coping purposes and it comes into taking this on on its own. As a consequence you then are caught in the outer. You described almost a depiction between some deep part of yourself that is able to be outside of the outer identifications, and then the part of you that has gotten caught in the identifications.

Then you’re seeing that you, in this state, are of the opinion that you have to indoctrinate those conditions upon the younger part of yourself as opposed to, what if the younger part of yourself had it right all to begin with, but is being compelled to be in the outer and adopt all of these traits as part of some sort of game or journey that the soul has to make?

If it’s a game and a journey that the soul has to make then why, what’s the reason? Well, the only reason that one can give is to gain a deeper sense of the divine, of the connection that one has to the Whole, to gain that in a more deepened awakened intimate sense.

That’s the only reason that one can think for that making sense, because otherwise it looks like a dirty rotten trick – and it’s the opposite. In other words, when you see it like that, you’re inclined to think that what’s going on is the opposite of what should be going on. And yet what’s to say that you can’t have the awareness of the essence, like the child in terms of its soul, in terms of an encompassing quality that sweeps in and takes in everything in the universe, and then also hold that, maintain that, carry that, emanate that into the outer in which you have everything all defined and confined?

Who’s to say that you can’t somehow or another do both? If you are able to somehow or another do both, then from the state that is confined and defined and identifying with things, there is a great sense of reverence and appreciation to the greater Whole of itself, that is everything.

And that would be getting closer to what is the essence. That would be the means of the essence of being able to experience that essence while in a human body, so to speak. That’s kind of the game.

That’s why following dreams is so difficult, because what you tend to see in a reflection could cause you to draw a whole different conclusion, could cause you to draw the conclusion that there is something about the child that’s amiss that has to be indoctrinated into the world that you’re in.

And what if it’s the other way around? In other words, the whole spiritual journey process is not based upon the teacher taking and showing an acuity about this, that, and the other in the outer. Instead, the teacher reflects the ability to let go of it all and therefore what comes across is a huge inner depth that is free – and that inflects across. A purity like that inflects across.

So we accept this under those conditions, but we don’t accept it when it’s portrayed as little child to us as adult, kind of thing. We find something wrong with the little child, but if we find something wrong with the little child, then why don’t we find something wrong with the teacher who takes us back to that essence?

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Game of Life

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Jeane: In this dream, I’m traveling in a railroad car that’s been taken over by bad guys. There are a number of us being held captive, including a woman senator and her daughter.

I realize that these men holding us captive may have plans to molest the women, or bother them in some way, so I manage to get to the side of the car and jump out. The train is passing alongside the Okanogan River and it’s nighttime. I’m able to just clear the bank and land in the river. It doesn’t even feel like I get wet; I just know the water catches me.

Then I get up and start walking and I see another train coming down the tracks. This time the train itself is nearly transparent and I can see a light on inside. There’s an engineer driving the train and it’s pulling just one or two cars.

As the train approaches, I wave to get his attention. He sees me and picks me up. At that moment I know that everybody else will get help, too.

John: What you’re able to do here is very interesting. In the night’s first dream (see Let It Be), the image showed lines of energy that are coming through in their pure state, undefined and uncontaminated by any directionality. In other words, they have not been used for any personal agenda. When we don’t impose ourselves on the energy, we are able to more directly usher it, through us, into life. 

Now in this second dream, you’ve taken a step back from that pure energy state, and that’s because there’s still something in your nature that’s lingering, whatever it might be, that causes you to feel an inner obstruction. This causes the “over-the-top” feeling, shown in the train dream. Because you were unable to remain calm, balanced, and feel at ease with what was happening in the pure energy state.

So you find yourself on a train, going somewhere, and an energetic has been presented to you for visibility, but that doesn’t last long. We don’t even see this energy in this dream, but we know it’s there because what ensues is your reaction to it.

And your reaction comes from a personal indulgence – a mood, or mannerism, or pattern – that alters the energetic. Basically your indulgence causes you to be alienated from this (energetic) space, which then creates the sensation that you’re being pursued or in danger. This indulgence doesn’t work very well when you’re really going somewhere, when you’re traveling within something, so it throws you off the train.

You are caused to jump off the train because you can’t be in that space with your contamination of it as well. Because you are at the point where you’re meant to be able to embody and carry that pure energy in a free-flow process of letting go. The act of jumping off the train actually serves to take away the intensity of the overindulgence or reaction, so you are quickly able to come back into that space (hop on the next train).

So then you get back on the train and you can travel some more. It’s a give and take process. You’re using this manner of “traveling within” as a way to perceive the impediments that are still in the way of you freely traveling.

This is not a dream about a shadow characteristic. At least you don’t describe it in that way (a shadow characteristic is one in which you’re still Traveling Toward God, and you still need to resolve the darker side of your nature; obstructions to the flow are still arising.)

Though you may still have dark sides to your nature, you’re no longer working on that. You’re Traveling In God. You’re traveling in this space, so the degree to which you still have some unfulfilled indulgences, or shadow aspects, they become the material that churns up in reaction to the light of things.

The image shows you being thrown out, but you’re not supposed to be thrown out. You’re meant to take those last small aspects (indulgences) and let go of them, too. So, you’re meant to be on the train. You’re meant to be traveling in this new part of yourself, which is a shift to your enfolding.

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