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Posts Tagged ‘feeling separate and alone’

i78esWe may not always realize how much of the stress in our lives comes from a deep feeling of loneliness. Why would that be, even if we are surrounded by family and friends? Our strongest urge, which is built into our design, is to connect to the universe we have been born into. That is the connection we truly seek, and all other connections become a substitute for the universal one, which means they will never really fulfill the ache we feel inside. To be on a path is to find that connection, which offers the only true peace and settlement we will ever know. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: First of all I’ll go to the meditation dream. I see myself accomplishing the objective, which is to stop the doingness, and that effect leads to what I know it’s going to lead to. It leads to a stillness, a stillness that is everywhere. And then I suddenly go into shock.

Now suddenly there’s nothing to see. Existence as me is no more. I hadn’t realized that it could be like that, and I find myself scrambling to come up with a way in the nothingness, because all of a sudden when I went into shock I went into shock because all vibration disappeared, and when all vibration disappeared, I disappeared – and so what is there?

And so I wake up unable to find a cope-ability, or any capabilities, unable to find anything, in the absolute emptiness. In other words, it’s just a void, not even a vibration. It’s the epitome of true death. I can find no relatability that exists, whether positive or negative, there’s just nothing because I don’t exist – so there is no longer a knower and known. I can’t say anything about anything anymore because there isn’t a functional beingness for that.

So then I have the consequence. To glimpse absolute death is shocking. It can’t be done. My definition of death always carried a reference to a vibration. In other words, there was always a permeating vibration. You didn’t really die. You went to the other side, or something. To be without a vibration is a void without any cognitive at all, and so, when it was like that, I mean the epitome of where there’s really a true despair, a true breaking down of it all, that is when I got it. God is in the soul, or in that vibration. And the heart knows no death. It has to embody the universal soul of all of existence, or of all of everything. Since the soul never dies, God is everywhere.

So the conclusion is, since there is no death, because apparently there is always a beingness that aspires, that’s why there is no death, that means that the path of peace is a never-ending need for access, for access. Aspiring to access, peace is to engage the reflective that comes out of the essence, which is like the thoughts. Reflections don’t exist separate from the essence. There is nothing but essence, therefore essence is our definition of peace. Peace and essence are synonymous.

So anyway, what is the significance of this dream? Manifestation was not designed to be an angelic, sacred, in its absolute way that way, as the heart would like. Manifestation reflects or portrays the reflective consciousness of man in creation, while at the same time it embodies a deeper inner truth and essence that can be experienced, in spite of the misuse and abuse, or of the collective consciousness of things that are thoughts-upon-thoughts in disarray, is another way that one could kind of say it.

So I have to put my focus and attention upon what is important. If I fail to see the beauty that transcends the ignorance and views, I will remain wounded and out of touch. From the first dream I am able to see that I cannot ignore the vibrational essence of my beingness. This vibration radiates out over all I look out over.

There is plenty of evidence regarding how dire everything is. In the meditation dream, I reach a point where I actually give up, I check out, and lose the vibrational thread, even though that thread may be something that’s beat down, you can hold onto a more conscious aspect and raise something up. If beaten down enough you can actually lose that thread that’s meant to permeate creatively throughout the universe.

Such a vibration is part of the vastness of the heart. If it wasn’t there in the heart in this capacity nothing could exist. In the sleep dream, to be conscious is to accept what is and how I find it, both above and below, without any illusions about it all. You’ve got to be careful how you positively glorify things, yet at the same time, underlying it all is this uplifting, reverent, and divine heartfelt quality that you have to access, that you can’t lose track of, because it lays the seed for a transformation of what has occurred over a long course of misuse and abuse.

The rubbish of the outer is still there. I mean it’s going to take generations to transform this dump. In other words, those cans don’t just go into soil. They’re metal cans and whatnot. It takes a long, long time for them to be absorbed, which is a fact of life and a consequence of man’s mannerisms and attitudes from an unconscious history which is subject to change and transformation when it realizes the aliveness and divinity of a greater inner beingness. In other words, things come from within, the essence is from within, but from without one has been really wayward and unconscious.

So, as in the meditation dream, the heart is meant to sweep over all that there is, and, in doing so, the essence, that essence becomes all-pervasive. This underlying essence is the peace we seek. Outer reflective conditions in manifestation are reflective of both our lower-self and higher-self nature. Manifestation is the means by which we are able to transcend our plight and get closer to the all-pervading essence which permeates revelationally for those with eyes to truly see, and ears to truly hear.

Such revelation is not naïve, or overly angelic, innocently. In other words, it has to hold the vibration, the contrast. It is out of the collective dense unconscious outer reflection and appearances that a seeing and hearing is possible. What ensues is a redeeming, in other words what can ensue, in other words if you don’t just collapse and go like in the meditation dream into a void in which there is no spark whatsoever, what can ensue is a redeeming, reverent, and revelational revelation which heals the pain, suffering, and wounds that prevail in the outer, the outer being again a mirror image reflection of things, reflected into the lower self in terms of what we have done during the unconscious stages of evolvement of our being, in which the essence behind it all was disregarded.

Because if we don’t do that, and the heartfelt vibrations, so it seems from the meditation dream, could get so displaced that, as in the meditation dream, there would be a non-vibrational vacant void. That would be the end of everything.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Essence Within

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We begin with a chase dream and segue into a dream with men hiding under the bed. More often than not, such unnerving dream images are the result of an inner resistance, as our unconscious guidance is trying to give us greater access and connection. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I fell asleep in the chair last night, before I even went to bed, and just had a brief dream. And in that dream it started out I think I was visiting with my ex, talked with him briefly, but then I wanted to kind of get away from him, but I knew he was going to pursue me.

But I got a head start and I decided the best thing was to go into some buildings that were across the way. The thing about these buildings was they were three or four stories tall, but the outer walls are gone, so that when you look at the buildings you see these rooms, and they have a lot of people in them, and so you see what’s going on in all of the rooms.

But I figured if I got a head start because there were so many people and wearing different colors and moving around in all the rooms, I could kind of get into the building and kind of hide amongst the people, just kind of thread your way through people. And once I did that if I had enough of a head start he wouldn’t know where I went, so he wouldn’t be able to follow me. That’s how it started out.

John: The thing that’s interesting is that this is a building that under normal or ordinary circumstances is translucent or something, in that you can see in the building and the people and everything inside of it, which means you have kind of a sense or an awareness through a perception and a sight that you have. If something isn’t bothering you, you’re able to take in this sight. You’re able to basically see everything that is there, without there being something covering it up.

And so what’s interesting is the catch-22 that’s going on is that in hiding now you’re going to try to hide amongst them. And so you’re letting go. In being affected by something like this, you’re actually letting go of a quality that normally sees everybody. It doesn’t matter about the building or anything. Ordinarily you can just naturally see them.

And now you’re taking and disembarking from that which you can just straightaway see because something is bothering you. It’s like you’re dropping your connection or linkage that can just twine and see things, and acting as if, because something is bugging you, or bothering you, or chasing you, or affecting you, that you can just then disappear amidst all of those people. Yet a moment before you could just naturally, from the outside, see.

The dream is like showing you that when you take and steer off or zoom in or take upon yourself any kind of motif or mannerism, however that might be, and in this particular case it’s a mannerism of something that’s chasing you or bothering you or trying to disturb you, that whenever you accept that that’s possible, or find yourself reacting as if you’re being affected by something that has a power or authority or concern over you, that is bigger than you, then you veil yourself. That’s when you lose the overallness that you already carry.

So you basically start off having incredibleness that gets compromised by the fact that something is bugging you. So the dream is there to show you that you can actually carry yourself in a state that loses, this state loses itself when things get to you.

Jeane: Then I’ve gone on, and I’ve gone into a room and I’ve gotten up on a bed. It’s not my room; I’ve gone to visit a friend. And it’s kind of an open room. It’s like you come in and there’s a bed to the right and it’s a wide bed, and I get up on it and it feels like if you went to the end of the bed, at that end of the room, there’d be some people. But there’s a friend of mine on a bed, a woman friend, and I want to talk with her.

And there’s also some people that are under the bed. The people under the bed are some men, and I’m talking to her and then I show her this little bottle I have, just a little transparent bottle and then inside the bottle there’s another even smaller container that is probably just three or four times wider than a needle that maybe contains something, some elixir or something, and then I don’t know what else there is in the bottle.

As I talk to her about this and the person under the bed finds out I have the bottle, he starts to come out. Well, he’s somebody that tends to engage in sex acts with groups of people, I think, and he thinks I have something in the bottle that enhances this or something, or for some reason he sees that as an invitation. But I kind of tell him no, to go away, because you and I don’t do that. We don’t get involved in those group scenes or something.

So, those were the dreams I had last night.

John: The fact that something comes out and bothers you and gets your attention, that is under the bed, is like something that’s repressed or dormant, that isn’t being taken into account, that is in the equation of your overallness, that has to run its course, or be lived out, or absorbed, or in some fashion met or dealt with.

But I’m not sure that I grasp this, on-the-bed kind of scene. What’s going on again there?

Jeane: I just went to visit with a woman friend of mine and then I was showing her a little bottle I had with other things in it.

John: And why were you doing that?

Jeane: I don’t know, I just was. I was just telling her about it.

John: I see it now. This is like dreaming about something that Shah would call the esoteric school of Sufism, and what the esoteric school of Sufism is it’s a quietness inside yourself that is able to hold a space, and not reveal what it is actually experiencing inside.

In other words, it doesn’t go out of its way to project what it recognizes and sees from within; it has adopted a lot of forbearance. When you travel with Shah, you notice he doesn’t teach, yet when he’s teaching he teaches, and why the difference? Why doesn’t he maintain a constancy as you’re traveling with him where he also would be communicating or showing or portraying something?

That’s because he carries that in a hiddenness, and you have to go into that hiddenness, or that quietness, to see that. So what the dream is showing you is that, if what you carry you feel you have to portray, or show, or reveal, and you go out of your way to do that, and the bed scene is like something where something kind of falls asleep or wakes up, and so you’re doing that as a means to try to help something wake up, to elicit an understanding, to cause an understanding to occur.

When you do that, what you are still not getting, by thinking that you should do that, is you’re still thinking that this is the way that you respond to the outer. Because everything that you see has an inner quality, but then that has an outer garment, and the outer reflective garment you think that you can respond to, that you could show them something, or that you could help them in some capacity, and that they then will get it. And if you try that and if you do that, you set off reverberations. You set off something that lies dormant underneath it all like under the bed.

It’s kind of like this, you’re experiencing inside of yourself a quality of a vibration that has a fullness, that you can embody and carry. And you attempt to portray it, where you feel it needs to be shown or portrayed, which is not a tendency or characteristic that you do readily. It’s more of a thing that I might do.

That’s why I find it amazing you would dream something like this, because when you do, you actually defeat or hurt yourself in some capacity because you’re not maintaining it with a quietness that is within. You’re not maintaining the silence of that space.

And so a teacher, such as Shah, only speaks and only talks and only teaches and only reaches out when he can create the greatest linkage and connection at the same time. In other words, he doesn’t do it in isolated circumstances. He may advise a person, or guide a person, but he doesn’t teach at that point in time. He only teaches when there is a setting in which there’s a safe place, and it’s invited, and a space has been cleared for that to happen.

Yet we, as we develop this kind of consciousness, can have the tendency to think that we need to lay that out, or portray that out. And if we do, we find out that we are acting as if this is what is needed to create change, or cause something to change in the outer, or our perceptions of something or someone, which is an aspect of the outer.

And we’re not really then communicating from a center of our being that is a quietness, that permeates. Instead, when we go out of the way to noodle over here, or noodle over there, instead of in a proper setting, that’s when we cause things to come out.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: An Inner Quiet

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Jeane: This first dream I don’t remember too well, but it seems like we’re somewhere really cold, and desolate, and dark. It feels like we’re driving around in circles.

Other people seem to be in charge and we’re not sure where we’re going or how we’re going to get out of there. That’s the best impression I can give.

John: You were just in a cold, desolate and dark area, and that’s all you recall?

Jeane: Yes. And that other people were in charge.

John: And you didn’t accept that?

Jeane: Well, it was just how it was.

John: Okay, those were the conditions you found yourself in, and you didn’t know how to get out of something that was cold, desolate, and dark.

Jeane: Yes, we just kept going in circles.

John: Isn’t that how it is in the outer world? It’s cold, desolate, and dark and we, the human race, just keep going in circles, repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

But we imagine it to be something different than that, and we tell ourselves that it’s different than that. In a way, we’re manufacturing concepts that make it seem other than what it really is. But we live in a strange type of purgatory in that everything that we deal with is cold, desolate, and dark – because it’s not real.

Everything in the outer world is only a partial reflection of what caused it, but that partial view is generally all we humans relate to. We relate to it by societal agreement. Anything different, anything that tries to go beyond this partial view, seems beyond our comprehension. But, is that really true? Not quite, because something inside of us seems to know that there’s something more.

Of course, even if we aren’t in touch with what that is, some part of us lies dormant waiting to be awakened and the deeper connections made. The illusion of the outer world, the world of surfaces only and no depth, is all that appears to a person who lives only in their brain and physical senses. To see and understand the deeper truth of life requires a connection to the true heart, deep within, where we all can know the difference.

Jeane: In the next image, I seem to be in an area where a lot of different people live and I have a baby. I may have some ambivalence about having a baby, so I’m given a choice about whether to keep it or not.

In order to deliberate this choice, I’ve picked up some kind of a tablet, a stone tablet, and I want to go off and kind of meditate or think this through: What am I going to do?

Well, if people see me carrying the tablet, they’re going to know that I’m making this kind of decision, so I don’t particularly want anyone to see me. I walk away from the group across an area and away from the people I know. I want to be alone.

Instead I run into a male friend and, for some reason, I decide to go with him into a room. In the room there’s another man, but it seems like this man has been assembled out of different mechanical parts.

At one point I unscrew his head to fix something and then put it back on. Then I lift his shirt and there are little things I fasten together so that all the parts hold together better.

Then I have the impression that I take him somewhere to get him another set of clothes. He’s been put together out of various parts and now I’m trying to stabilize those parts a bit, fiddling with his clothing and things around his chest or whatever.

I’m just trying to get him ready to leave the room. I think that’s when I wake up.

John: You’re actually putting a whole process together in steps. At first you’re dealing with something that’s in a void: it’s cold, desolate, and dark. Whatever is going on there, it’s just the way it is, and you don’t have an inkling of what that can possibly mean. You’re just going around in circles with no where to get to and no way to get out. You’re unawakened.

But in the second dream something has changed, i.e., something has awakened. That’s like the second step in creation, in which something rises up from a nothingness.

Tomorrow we’ll continue to look at how these two dream images portray a fundamental dichotomy in the human experience, in that we can live a connected, spiritual life, or a separated, ego-based life. But these choices are mutually exclusive.

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