When a Door is Ajar

John: Dreams tend to be very difficult as they start, and then they set something in motion that gets jarred loose. It’s like cleaning the rust off of something. And so a dream early in the night can be a way of unclogging things.

This dream starts off with me being presented with a sequence of energetic events. In other words, it’s like everything is part of a string that has a number of components to it. If you take on any one aspect, one dot of the sequence, then you have bought into the whole string.

The problem that I have, though, is that these strings are thrown at me. I think that if I open up one of them, I’ll find myself affected by that whole sequence and energetic flow, which means that it creates a type of karma that has to reflect, or be lived out, in the outer imagery of the dream.

So I’m finding that I’ve been turning away from all these options, these strings of events. In doing so, I’m preventing something from opening up. There is one exception that I make, however, and that is a string of events connected to a glass of water that is presented to me.

It seems innocuous enough. My initial feeling is that because the glass of water has been sitting around, it has to be stale. But the person who is trying to present it to me assures me it is not.

I take a drink and am surprised that the water is cool and refreshing. I realize that my reluctance to accept any of these strings of events has become a form of withdrawal. So now the image shifts into a portrayal of this withdrawal and I find myself sitting in a room in a tenement house.

The room I’m in is not much. The door is cracked open slightly and I can hear a lot of activity and noise from the hallway and other rooms. Everything seems to be going haywire around me, so I have blocked myself off from it.

Even though the door is open, I have created a barrier so that others know they shouldn’t come in. I have no intention of going out. My sense is that what is around me is kind of poisonous or harmful to my nature, or just something I need to stay away from.

I feel groggy, as if I am in some sort of stupor. I’m waking up late. Everything outside the room is in commotion. And in the toe of my shoe, crammed in there at the very tip, is something I’m refusing to look at. I’m convinced it’s poisonous.

I’m also convinced that it has something to do with the people who live in this building. I don’t want them to have any effect on me whatsoever. All this struggling is contributing to my being unable to come out of my trance. I’m groggy, tired, withdrawn, and out of touch with the rest of the place around me – it irritates me.

But something comes over me at some point and I reach in and take out this compressed object that is in the tip of my shoe. It looks lifeless, black, and dead. I stare at it and imagine that it resembles a decomposed mouse (that’s my active imagination). It’s looks more like a balled up piece of rag.

Just the thought of it makes me cringe a bit and I consider it kind of poisonous. I do not want to smell it; it could kill me or just be really unhealthy. So I flush this smelly and poisonous thing down the toilet.

So what is this dream showing me? Tomorrow we will open up its deeper meaning and follow the trace of subsequent dream images later in the night. In this way we can get a better sense of how our dreams prod us, nudge us, to come to a recognition about aspects of ourselves that we may not normally acknowledge in our waking life. In this way, dreams offer us the possibility of helping us evolve personally, saving us from having to learn things the hard way, i.e., in our waking lives.

Forward Movement

John: Right behind that dream, or right with it (see Don’t Agitate Them), I remember I have been talking with a young girl, a teenager, and I’m making allowances for how she is acting, because she’s the type that you might see on American Idol – they have a certain way of perceiving themselves that is totally unrealistic.

You’ve seen them on the show – whatever Simon Cowell says, they dismiss it. They don’t want to take it to heart because they have a very different view of themselves. While Simon Cowell is judging their musical ability from the standpoint of a professional, he’s willing to slap them down if they act too precocious or conceited. It usually comes across in the way their voices get too pitchy or they pick inappropriate songs.

So, you know, I’m probably not as harsh as Simon Cowell, I’m a little more accommodating in how she is just trying to be recognized or appreciated. Of course that doesn’t help a person grow. They just end up using it as a means to rationalize how they are. I come to see that when I have to leave.

So I’m probably never coming back to this place, and I’m sitting on a bench. This girl is sitting on my left and there’s some boy on my right. I’m talking to the boy and ignoring her, because I’m resisting her psychological demands of wanting to be seen and recognized and get all the attention. I feel that I don’t have time for that.

I’m about to leave, so I’m talking to the boy, and I can sense that she feels slighted. It’s like she’s not getting her rightful goodbye. I don’t see how my paying her attention would serve any useful purpose. It’s not going to make everything okay, and I’m basically never going to see her again.

I feel those types of insincere actions are flat and meaningless, and won’t do either of us any good.

Can’t she see that, and accept that, given the nature of the circumstances? You know, we’re not in a scenario where that can go anywhere.

So, this dream is similar to what we discussed yesterday. The boy and the girl are merely different aspects of me. So again we find that I am in a situation where I am ready to move on – I’m about to leave. But I’m not quite able to make a clean break of it.

Like the hornet’s that followed me in yesterday’s dream, I’m again not completely available for what’s next, because before I leave I’m stirring up some old agitations or mannerisms that I carry within me.

So even though the dream seems influenced by the American Idol show, it has really only taken that experience and used those images to tell me a very different story – a story that’s an insight into my inner workings. It would be easy to see the dream as the story of an older and wiser man snubbing a young girl for whatever silly reasons, but that’s just a surface scenario.

When we move on in life, it usually is a sign that we are letting aspects of the past fade away, and that we are ready for new experiences. But we know from real experience that we always bring our inner workings with us, wherever we go. They’re not so easy to leave behind. So that’s what I see these dreams as showing me. That even though I have done the work, I’ve made progress – in both cases I’m leaving to somewhere else – yet I’m still capable of letting old agitations rise up again inside me.

The hornets could represent a certain type of inner agitation, and in this dream the young girl shows a certain preening nature that could be associated with the feminine aspects. This speaks about outward appearances seeming more important than they really are. We may never be able to completely let these inner workings go, but it’s important to be aware of them. Especially because to be truly conscious means that we need to rise above those ego-based notions in life.

Going Hollywood

Jeane: So, in this next dream, my boyfriend has gone out of town, really out of town – to Paris. So I go down to the city with a female friend and I go out with Jack Nicholson. However, when it comes time to go to bed at night, I go into a hotel that has a rickety old elevator. It’s a nice hotel, I think, but it has an old elevator. I go up and the room is on one of the higher floors, but it’s a very plain room; it just has a single mattress on the floor with blankets and sheets. A woman (my shadow?) also seems to be there.

So, of course, I can’t invite Jack Nicholson there. I don’t think I take him to the room. I’m supposed to see him the next day and then I’ll say goodbye, maybe have a little time with him.

The next day I leave the room and I take the elevator up to a large room where Jack will be. There is activity going on and it feels like he’s going to be there. I go over to a long banquet table filled with people, and Jack Nicholson is sitting near the end of it. He’s looking like he has a hangover, in the way that only he can look. He gives a nod toward me.

It seems like he can’t really say anything in front of all the people, and I think it’s a shame that we have to part that way. I would have liked a few minutes for us to talk.

As I turn to go, a woman gets up from a nearby table – she’s very thin and dressed all in turquoise. I recognize her as someone I knew a long time ago. She comes up and hugs me. She is so glad to see me.

There’s another woman at a table nearby who is also glad to see me. Now, one of these two women has a little girl who appears to be two-inches tall, and the other woman has a little baby boy tightly wrapped in a white cloth, and the baby is about an inch tall.

Eventually I leave and take the elevator again, which has become even more rickety. It’s descending very slowly and the door won’t even shut as it goes down. I suddenly discover that the baby and the little girl are perched on the edge of the elevator door near me.

I can tell that their parents are worried about them – they’re panicking, wondering where they are. I pick them both up and I’m holding them. I think they’re okay; I have them in my hand, kind of down by my side, when suddenly the elevator, instead of being inside the building, is invisible and on the outside of the building. It’s in a freefall and then it stops abruptly, a few feet above the ground.

The jolt knocks the little girl and baby boy out of my hand and I can’t even see them. (The shadow woman was also in the elevator with me when it was moving slowly, but disappeared as it became invisible and went into free fall.) Well, I know this would really freak out their parents.

So I get out of the elevator and I basically put my face right on the ground. I can actually feel the embrace of the earth through my cheek. I look around and call out to the little girl. I see her and she is covered with blue dust walking toward me through the grass, which is as tall as she is.

I ask her if she can help me find the baby. I sense that the baby is okay because it’s all wrapped up in a bundle, but I want to get both kids together before their parents come. Once the little girl came to me, I knew we would find the baby boy and that he would be okay.

Then I wake up. That was the whole dream.

Hmm, interesting. Tomorrow we will examine what can be understood from this strange scenario!