The Matrix of the Whole

mim-entryToday we see the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th parts of the dream Jeane began yesterday (see Gauging the Pattern). The images take her on a journey where she is able to turn from her reactiveness to a state of observation. This allows her to adapt to the situation, even when a great storm starts tearing things up. Ultimately, this leads her to a state of bliss, as she has become in service to the greater Whole. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Then I go outside and first I’m outside by almost what would be like a concrete court of some kind, like maybe they used to play tennis on, but it’s just a bare concrete slab now. 

The day is rather sunny, and the other people are standing around talking over to my left, but I’ve walked over to the court and I notice that there’s a piece of rebar coming across the court almost like it used to hang something up, but then part of the rebar is leaning towards the court now. 

What I’ve noticed is that I can reach up, it’s kind of plastic rebar or something like that, I can reach up and, if I avoid the part where it’s beginning to slant down where it can almost touch the bottom of the court, I can keep going towards the end of the court to where I can use it to do pull ups.

So I’m shifting myself to where I can do some pull ups. While the other people are just somewhere else talking, I’m doing some pull ups for a while and kind of interested in that. Then I walk over and I look up at the sky and I notice that there has been some kind of a storm off over the mountains to the right, and it’s torn up chunks of earth that are sailing through the sky with things on them.

So there would be one chunk of earth with maybe a tree and some people standing there and they’re going sailing through the air, and another chunk of earth might have a small little outhouse type building on it, and another one will have something else on it, and behind all of that I can see really angry storm clouds from whatever storm it was that tore all of these up and sent them sailing through the air.

And then I realize that some of them are even coming crashing down. One of them, like this one with these people on it, seems to me like it’s sailing forward almost kind of in an exciting way and that they’re fine. They’re almost riding that chunk of earth like it’s a ship, but other pieces are going to come crashing to the earth. 

But I have this sense that, even if this building comes and lands right next to me I could just go in and use it as a shelter. I don’t seem to be bothered by that at all. 

John: What you are doing is, you’ve actually progressed the dream from where you’re actually observing or watching something about yourself, in other words the ability to naturally know how it is something’s going to fit, in terms of how you are. And so what you then do with that is you take that in as a recognition about yourself, and you use that to solidify, or strengthen, yourself so that you’re no longer blindsided by it.

In other words, you’re able to use the rebar, bar being a barrier, and rebar to do something productive like chin ups or something. You can use it to facilitate something. Then the dream kind of shifts in terms of trying to tell you about the importance of being able to catch up with this part of yourself.

In other words, this is an aspect of going into a certain depth of yourself in which you come to grips with something and you watch this mannerism, and pattern, and quality, and condition that you carry. In other words, it’s no longer something that can tear you to pieces like it could before, because you actually are looking at it.

This is really an amazing dream because again, going all the way back to the beginning, you are looking at something in terms of the way a pattern repeats, or the way you wear a particular mannerism of yourself.

And then in the second part of it you learn to take and utilize that to augment something about yourself that’s important. In other words, it’s not something that’s so despairing anymore. It’s something that you can build yourself up with. You can do chin ups with it, and as a consequence then, when the actual storm of events around you happen, you’re able to be calm, take them in, and not be all torn, twisted, and demented.

In other words, you have a portrayal of what would be considered most traumatic scenario, and you see in that most traumatic scenario, because you’re all of them, that you’re able to be calm, that you’re able to ride this out, or to flow with this in some capacity, as opposed to being all torn and twisted up.

Jeane: Then what happens in the dream is kind of symbolic. It’s like I’ve being given a quiz and, for me, in my mind, the quiz and the answer to the quiz becomes represented by this kind of ice cream cone that’s like a waffle cone. 

It’s kind of in the sky, a large one, a waffle cone with strawberry ice cream on top. As they ask you a question, and it feels like there’s a whole series of questions on this page or something, as they ask you a question the truth is the answer is always this really sharp inhale. 

I forget how that was represented in the dream, but that’s the best way I can convey it. Now, people might not pick up that pattern, that no matter what the question was, it was always the same answer. It was like if you had a multiple choice, it was always going to be A. 

However, what was important to notice was that then you had to listen for the nuances, because yes, it may always be the same thing, a sharp inhale as I would call it, it may always be that but, beneath that there were nuances that were giving you all this other information. And if you just focused on aha!, I figured out the answer, you were going to miss all those nuances.

John: One loves the one, two, three, and then four because the thing about the four part is it gives you new information. Only is it really new information, or is it information you should have known all along?

So whenever you’re affected by something that’s traumatic or shocking, the tendency is you stop your breath. The tendency is you may even exhale, in a type of shrinking grief and dismay, but the answer is to be able to always embrace whatever it is. To have the space, to have the ability to take in, to embrace, to carry back whatever it is

In other words, it’s like why is it that you observe? In other words, no matter how traumatic something is, why is it that you take and observe this? Well, you take and you observe this in order to absolve it, in order to recognize something, in order to take responsibility in some capacity.

So if this is also then an aspect of seeing yourself, then that aspect of something being seen, in the greater context of things, is where something gets taken all the way back – where the image gets taken all the way back, which is the in-breath. And so that image is not taken all the way back when you react, when you take something literally as a state of shock, and it hits the heart, and you shrink.

What the dream is telling you, is that every time you have one of these variables, the key and the secret to being able to be calm, relaxed, and serving a function, or a purpose, like as the God’s idiot or something, that, different than everyone else who takes all this stuff personally, and seriously, and gets whacked, and their breath stops, or they even have a despairing out-breath, that you automatically have an in-breath that releases, that is a breath back to a Wholeness – instead of further compacting in a density.

Because when a person has traumas and stuff happening in their life that’s out of the ordinary, and they don’t know how to ride it, and go along with it, like you did in the third part of the dream. You were able to see yourself just able to be there, and go along for wherever, and however it is.

To be able to do that is, as you indicted at the end of the dream, the ability to simply recognize that you don’t have to shrink, you don’t have to contract, you don’t have to try to cause something to manifest in a despair, you don’t have to have those synapses with their hidden, repressed, and suppressed characteristics coming up and blindsiding you.

You know that, you recognize that, you can let go of that, you can take an in-breath. And to live like this is very much, almost from a shamanistic way of saying it, like being able to recognize the friend is your enemy, and the enemy is your friend.

In other words, a person who sees somebody as bad, or as an enemy, will contract, react, get uptight, do this, that, or the other. But if you see them as actually revealing something that you need to note, that’s a tremendous in-breath of letting go.

So your dream is giving you instructions upon what to do. Now, we’ve heard these instructions over and over again. Whenever a person is in some sort of traumatic condition, they can quit breathing. And someone else who has a little better sense of things can look at that person and realize they’ve gone into a type of shock, and say keep breathing, take a deep breath.

We can hear this over and over again, but until you actually have a kind of experience of the importance of that, and even can get a glimpse of how this all fits within the matrix of a greater Whole, how that takes something back and brings back information, is a return of something that adds to the overallness, just like the ability to watch. This is a higher octave of the ability to watch, to observe and to note, and learn how to be able to be at an equanimity, and just observing, and watching as opposed to reacting.

The higher octave of that is to then take this back with almost a glee, and a refreshment, because when you take it back with an in-breath you hit a bliss, you hit a wonderful state, and you have the image that supported this as a type of grace in that you had the… what was it, an ice cream cone?

That’s the answer to how you handle traumatic conditions. You learn to automatically not do the typical that keeps everybody all pent up and bound up. You looked at what it was that could naturally fit, that you had a natural awareness of how something naturally fit, or how it naturally affected you, and then that led to being able to take whatever it is that comes rolling along, the rebar, the repeat, the recycle, the reverb, the any kind of pattern, and because you’re able to watch it, and see it, you’re able to gain something from it.

You are able to build yourself up. You are able to do pull ups and, as a consequence, you’re developing a certain kind of auric space, as opposed to being all neurotically worn to a tizzy so that every little thing causes you to fall into despair.

You’ve developed an auric space so that you can go along with the ride of things as they happen. You don’t have to be all beat up on every little inflection of something that’s out of the ordinary and, as a consequence of being able to do that, you naturally then know how to take the in-breath.

It’s actually become something that, for others, would be traumatic, and be, oh what a horrible scenario, but for you, you find peace and bliss in all of that that is going on.

So it’s a pretty deep dream.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Matrix of the Whole

Rough Flight

John: In the next dream, I go to the opposite extreme. I have transitioned from a state of dense contraction, in the first dream, to a state of extreme expansion. (See the first dream here: Nearing the Top.)

I am picked up in a helicopter to be taken to a house. The pilot, a woman, takes the helicopter up so fast it practically stalls out the engine, and the helicopter plunges toward the ground. The pilot rights it just in time, with the helicopter blades hitting treetops and branches, but we make it through.

The treetops give way and don’t break the helicopter blades. I give a huge sigh of relief: “Boy, was that close!” The pilot, rather than easing up, presses the helicopter hard toward its destination.

In other words, she doesn’t give it a chance to regain some sort of balance. There’s no effort to get stabilized. It’s just helter skelter flying. The person I’m with, who is the owner of the house I’m going to, just kind of looks away. He’s not paying any attention.

I’m not able to be so cool, calm, and collected. I gasp as we barrel along, swerving between trees, crashing through bushes that, fortunately, don’t cause the helicopter to crash. Finally, we set down at the base of a hill.

The house we’re going to is at the top of some steps, but to begin with I just jump out of the helicopter. Man, I’m in a state of shock. At the top of the steps I yell at the helicopter pilot.

I say things like, “Do you have a death wish?” The owner of the house and another passenger just tend to business. They bring up the luggage from down below. I’m still in a state of shock. I’m not offering any help in bringing up the luggage.

As the owner and the other guest return from down below, I’m still standing at the top of the stairs. As I gather my composure, I ask the owner, “Is there anything else left in the helicopter that I can bring up?”

Significance: In this dream I’m shown an approach that is the opposite of the first dream. In that dream, I’m burdened with a dense, animalistic energy that inhibits me and can’t be brought on my journey. It’s like a weight that gets heavier as I near the top. I can’t come before the teacher in such a condition. Still, we saw that that energy could serve a purpose because it could function as a type of way station.

In the second dream, I’ve entered into expansiveness – I’m flying in a helicopter – but everything is chaotic. It’s not smooth, controlled, or balanced, but I am up off the ground. It’s not a flight I can appreciate however, because I’m basically in shock and consumed by my reactions. Again, I do get to the destination, but I’m not in good shape.

I’m being shown that I’m somewhere in between these two extremes. The denser, contractive energy is a feminine condition that seeks union. The expansive, masculine condition experiences the chaos that creates separation.

Somehow, these two states need to be consolidated in me. Both are trying to bring about change, yet they are doing so in clumsy, unacceptable ways.

I’m shown that I can’t reach my destination with all my familiar psychological patterns. I need to let go of the lower-self ego aspects, and I need to trust in the higher aspects that can “fly” me to where I want to go.

Fortunately, I had a third dream that consolidates these two extremes.

Keep It Simple

John: I have two very different dreams here that actually deliver the same message.

In the first dream I’m in very hot and sweaty conditions and I’m supposed to hold onto a vibration in a slow, steady, and consistent way. It wasn’t supposed to be this way – at least it’s not what I expected.

I’m convinced that I can sustain this vibration at an even quicker pace. Then it wouldn’t need to be so slow and be in such a hot, awkward environment.

Still, I resist my temptation to go faster, and as it turns out I see that I was better off going at this very slow pace. Eventually, the environment did cool down.

I found something very humble about this approach – a quiet consistency. There was no fanfare, and no frame of reference because this was not something that I would have chosen. My expectations gave me the urge to speed up. If I had done that, I would have missed out on being able to see myself as being steady, slow, and consistent.

That’s the first dream.

In the next dream, I just an average person and I’m in a parking garage. There is a man there – a dignified businessman in a suit – who has a bicycle as his means of transportation. It’s time for him to take this bike back out onto the street, but he doesn’t trust himself to do it.

What’s odd about this garage is that there’s an embankment that falls off to one side and you have to walk along the edge very carefully. Then you have to back the bike through the door. If you don’t know how to do that you could fall over the edge and never get it out. He’s afraid to try for fear of falling off the edge.

So, here I am, an average Joe, and I’m looking at what’s involved from his perspective, not from my perspective. I’m getting into his paranoia and his concerns and I can feel that they are being exaggerated.

I advise him on how he could proceed, but he won’t proceed. He’s reluctant. So, I say, “I’m so confident in what I see that if you want, I’ll do it for you.” This causes him to snap out of his reactivity for a moment.

He replies, “I’ll have to think about that,” which means he’ll just go into another kind of paranoia. I say, “I’ll give you two minutes to decide, no more.” He replies, “I believe you can do it, so go ahead.”

I take the back part of the bike off. I see a door off to one side, so I take the back part of the bike through that door and there is a little place that joins the outside and I shove the back part of the bike out of the parking garage. I didn’t even know about this door earlier – it wasn’t part of the plan.

However, the bulk of the bike won’t fit out that way, so I have to do what I had originally planned and go along the narrow embankment edge. So, I have to shift, from his fearful eyes to my knowing eyes, and the whole thing looks effortless to me – once the reactivity is taken out.

So, without even thinking I walk from one end of the parking garage to the other along the edge, as if it’s no big deal, and realize all I need to do is repeat that process with the rest of the bike.

When you put these two dreams together, what they are showing me is that I need to deal with life as it exists. In both scenarios, expectations color my perception of what should happen. In both instances, what should be an effortless process is made much more difficult because of what I bring to the situation in terms of reactivity or expectation.

If conditions are awkward, I can still go that route. Things don’t have to unfold according to my expectations, or timetable, for me to be connected. I need to drop these self-imposed limitations. Mostly these perspectives are never about serious issues anyway, they’re just mental distractions or old patterns. When I feel the strength from within, I’m able to proceed effortlessly; the problems just fall away.

So, on an energetic level, when expectation and reactivity fall away, the part of me that’s in emptiness, or in freedom, takes over with ease. It changes my experience of everything.

When this knowingness from within is reached, everything becomes simple for us. When I drop my projections about how I think things should proceed, it allows what is meant to be to occur naturally. The connection then is to a greater overall state that is simply there, without anything to complicate its overallness.