A Central Aspect

If we, as humans, manifest ourselves from inner into outer – an ultimate expression of our thoughts, feelings, and intentions, among other things – we are also, in many ways, the gatekeepers of our own possibility. Ergo, if we are obsessing for years about an old wound, or personal slight, we will not only produce the effects of that in our chemical and cellular make-up, but we will also have prevented something else from manifesting because of a lack of generation and intention, or even because we could not let go of this other thing. So it is said, we become what we think about. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the dream, there are moments in which what I seek smacks into inner snags, and, on an inner level, I notice waverings from the outer collective. I accept the flickerings to be kind of like part of our nature, or karmically oriented. 

And that I believe the karma to be correlated to personal mannerisms, which we all have our personal mannerisms that cause us to be a little bit this way and that way, not being able to catch up with the big picture. 

So, to the degree this personal interferes with what I seek to do with a seeded, knee-jerk remembrance latent within the design, to the degree that there is something, I gotta somehow shake it through, or bring it, find a way that it somehow makes sense so that I can just let go. If I let go, yet not give up the focus; you let go but you don’t give up the focus of seeing what needs to come through – if there’s something that needs to come through. 

Because I might be able to overcome self-limiting perceptions, nuances, spells, and embedded fearfulness associated with a woundology, in other words, is that what I’m trying to offset in some other way that is holding me in a compacted way? And yet, what I see above, in the sleep dream, not in the meditation dream but in the sleep dream, is I don’t see anything up there. 

So the key is taking to heart a bigger, more non-personalized picture, because everything within is what makes us tick as like a type of incarnated vibratoriness to which we grope about to connect to, so that what can be, or is meant to be, is acted out or visualizes itself through us. 

Well whatever all this is, I see it to be mutable, not set. In other words, it’s not like what comes through us is black-and-white. It’s mutable, it’s not set. And there is a feature within the overallness where designing is able to intertwine. The key for there to be a designing, so that you’re not just banging your head trying to make something go and happen, the key is to have a certain soft heart, a soft-handed mannerism. 

In other words, don’t take everything too intently to the point where the woundology drives you as opposed to a greater sense of self – so that whatever is behind all of this, whatever is the central aspect of what is really the depth of who we are, so that that can incarnate, and the need, in order for that need to be palpable must comport with the unfolding overallness. 

So I guess it’s kind of a dream that’s describing one’s plight, in which we all carry compulsions that are accentuated, in some regard or another, that we have to either let go of, or live out, or learn to bring to a state of greater stillness. Or maybe they’re part of the design, in which we act as a functional vehicle, so to speak, to help a particular energetic further unfold, or run its course, or however it needs to be. 

And that what’s so unusual with my sleep dream, maybe I should have somehow figured out how to wake up and write it up, because in the sleep dream I’m just going on, and on, and on into an area in which there’s nothing in the area, corridors and stuff that are dark or whatever, that I go down. And I don’t find anything at the end of them, and conclude that eventually there has to be something that will exit where I’m at. 

And, in the end, the only thing I recall is that there’s something that seems to be like this being a humongous empty parking garage or something, that in the end there seems to be something that I can kind of go down. It’s like an entryway into it or something, and I kind of bend down a little bit to follow this.

And so I’m coming down that to see where that goes, suddenly feeling that there are a whole bunch of people now, and that this has been sitting above all of that, and there are a whole bunch of people down below. I wake up, I don’t do this to the point where I confirm whether that’s so or not. 

So I guess that dream would be taking what I was dreaming inside and would be trying to take that overallness as a deep inner spaciousness and bring something through that. And that the meditation dream was more like trying to do the same thing, but doing it as if I was already down in a sequence of something and trying to create the linkage from being down here, a linkage that would comport with an action, a mannerism unfoldment that is deemed okay or allowed in the outer. But from the inner, trying to come down and through, it was still a matter of discovering what there is in the outer.

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A Burdened Heart

heart66.jpgIt is easy to forget that humans are designed to connect to the guidance they need to be in service to what created them. We may not know exactly what we are doing, but we can connect to things that do. We have all experienced an instant knowing when we are under some sort of pressure, and that type of knowing can be there for us much more of the time. But we have to quiet the noise and distractions, and the emotional yo-yo-ing, to be with it. It is a stress on our entire system when we deny using our faculties the way they were meant to be used. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My meditation dreams have been miserable for a number of days, but they do set the theme so I have to go along with that. And when I come to sleep I’m always concerned that anything can happen, or if I can even fall asleep or whatever. Last night wasn’t a problem of falling asleep, but the difference in my sleep is I’m hearing cues, and getting kind of directives, even though I’m not very good at paying attention to them, or following them, or holding onto them even.

And, as a consequence, it seems to be like a kind of reverse going on in that my meditation dreams are the epitome of being cut off a little bit; nothing comes through with the kind of clarity or loudness that it used to. It comes through the dreams louder, and it’s as if I have introduced a confusion or discombobulation that I’m having to sort out, and don’t necessarily know how to put my finger on it, but it is getting sorted out.

So in my meditation dream I was looking at ways to better connect. I was trying to feel those means. The idea behind the flow within was to oblige a connection I felt was necessary in order to serve a purpose.

The problem I am having in doing this is when my heart is heavy, like it is now, I am struggling to see anything at all. The significance is I need to have an inner guidance, but dialing this in has its problems. One, if there is a heaviness in my nature I am too groggy and burdened to get it. I do not have the open space in my nature that I need. I am dulled on the burdened heart as a veil, and am not able to pull out clear images.

Two, when I pull out clear images I am struggling, I have the opposite effect, where I can now then go from a denseness to an over transcendent expanse, and so I’m struggling to not be so cavalier and transcendent such that I can’t take the heartfelt meaningfulness needed into life, to change the surrounding, and open up its capacity.

And three, when more internally collected or put together, so to speak, so that I’m able to get it, in other words, first I went to one extreme, and then I went to another extreme, and now I’m kind of going back to kind of a middling. So when I am more internally collected so that I’m able to get it, I am not able to hear this in an interconnected way, in other words, not loud enough in an interconnected way, so that it becomes readily obvious. Things still quibble and fight it in their denseness, and there’s a way of sweeping through and absorbing the denseness.

I have to do it in a way that doesn’t overpower or short others out. I need to better know how to embrace the space within. In other words, this is a quality of the way you carry an exuding auric nature to facilitate, to smooth the ready acceptance and experientiality of the intended touch.

And then four, four goes back to kind of like, okay, if something is still off then you’re not actually physically at ease, which means then that the heart is having trouble embracing the soul in terms of an intended focus, which means that the heart is still overburdened.

For example, in my meditation dream, I wavered about noticing myself sitting there having to struggle to connect to an experiencing from within because a loud body sensation was making it hard to set that effect aside. The process has to do with letting go of the heaviness inside so a remorseful and self-indulgent nature doesn’t get in the way, or overwhelm. There has to be a joy and a grounded optimism going hand in hand, as well as the undifferentiated, intertwined heart. I remain shielded not able yet to properly bridge a gap.

Observation: What I am noticing is that a breakthrough shift involves the in-depthness of a human being. In other words, you don’t do it through skimming along in the outer. You have to do it by having accessed something really deep inside and brought it into a being that aurically transmutes.

The process occurs when a human being sets aside the misaligned impediments, is a way of saying it, so that you don’t have the crisscrosses that short out your effectiveness. It is the sole role of a teacher to provide the space needed for this occur. And see, the interesting thing about it is, this is all the teacher does. The teacher doesn’t go out and make the changes in the world, the teacher makes the changes in the human being because it’s the human being that has to do it, not the teacher.

The teacher must remain somewhere else and cannot come crashing down like a human being. Therefore, when a teacher goes out on a limb trying to influence something in the outer in a subtle way, that is asking for trouble. Most teachers know better than to do that, and those who do do that it’s part of a teaching to get others to try to see something – because the inner teacher reveals in a quiet way that doesn’t violate free will.

So the wish is, hopefully, what I will experience at a program this weekend will bring me back to a heartfelt connection of inner to outer more succinctly. The digressions are exhaustive and violate the connective flow. It is a hard lesson for me to realize that a digression always involves a personal transgression. To realize this appropriately, I must be attuned to a connective process within which keeps me safe and properly aligned.

Again this is a quality that you carry, and it’s really about a type of listening center, and the fact that you’re not quite pulling it in and you have like little deviations one, two, three, and four like I explained. Close, but deviations. In other words, it’s like everything is talking all the time to a human being. They just need to get to the point where they recognize what that is as an energetic that is outside of the mind; and everyone else just hears and sees the basic minutia of things.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Burdened Heart