The Shadow Consciousness

John: Yesterday my dream was propelled by the energy of the kundalini, which is a Sanskrit word meaning “coiled” – like a serpent. It’s an energy that is mostly dormant in all of us, and is seated in the sacrum at the base of the spine. The kundalini is an amazing energy in that it’s a result of the clash, or coming together, of an inner aspect of light. (For yesterday’s dream, see The Heat of Kundalini.)

Kundalini has to create and cause an outer aspect of light to emerge. In the masculine way, it gets snapped into existence. In the feminine way, it just is. When it is awakened, everything is perceived and appreciated as being a part of the light – it’s a divine connection.

So in this imagery, I’m shown two possibilities – I’m shown two ways that things can unfold.

One is through the personal, ego-based way of the human, where a person acts according to their best thoughts and perceptions. The second is the divine way (universal way), which has to do with being embraced and swept up in the light – in the flow.

Of course we’re not used thinking that the world works this way. We’re used to fumbling about on our own in order to bring about some change, or to rectify a situation, or to try and steer things toward an imagined outcome that we have projected. That urge (which is a very personal view of life) cuts us off from the way things are, and from the way they should unfold, naturally (universally).

So, in the first dream, I begin by having to fulfill or maintain a perception of what needs to be, in terms of where and how I need to be situated. I’m trying to fit the ideal of what I’m projecting – according to my human perception. 

In this vision, I see myself as a person named Stark. I’m standing in the shadows – I’m barely an outline – and there are scores of my replicated self, standing side by side, formed into a circle in the shadows.

That image morphs into a pulling together of the limited light, and formulates a position in which all of the various points of human consciousness are pulled together to create an end result that looks like the light array of the Las Vegas strip, but that I can feel has barriers. In other words, it’s not wide open; it’s not totally free.

It’s like I see the lights from all the hotel rooms as dots positioned in relation to a particular spot in a building. And I know that’s unacceptable, but it’s the best that I can pull it together – the best formation I can make – in relation to trying to contend with the lights emanating from the Las Vegas strip.  

It’s like I’ve recreated the lights of the strip myself, but it’s a poor imitation. There are parts still in the shadows, as though they’re protected.

So, there’s something not quite right in all of that. I mean, with all the effort I made, that was what I ended up with? There’s a sense of personal indulgence in this effort that hurts the heart.

This image is a portrayal of what will unfold based upon my current state of consciousness. Because I’m in the shadows of my true self, I’m not fully aligned. So the result of what gets portrayed is unacceptable and not how things need to be.

Simultaneous to that vision was something that also occurred as an example of the second way, the divine way, in which I just allowed myself to be in the light, to stand in the face of the light. 

In other words, I was not in the shadows, not in a multiplicity of myself, and not called Stark. I was just myself in the light, not trying to do anything other than take in the sense of the light.

It was as if the light knew how to give birth. All of a sudden the light flares out, just like you might have a solar flare or volcanic eruption. The best way I can describe it is that it seemed as if the light had a tail to it, and the tail just flickered out through the rays of the light, sparkling as the tail moved.

The end result was a whole new manifestation within the light. Something new is there now that couldn’t have been put together in the wildest imaginations of all the Starks of the world.

In the misaligned state, this instantaneous manifestation could never come about. It’s as if the light suddenly just flickered a tail, created the flare, flashed it out, and then lo and behold there was a whole new extension of lights. It was like the next phase. It was what was needed.

So this is shown to me as what’s possible when one stands in the light of self without compromising it, without limiting it to the personal view. The unfolding it portrays is a divine plan coming into manifestation, born from the light.

Because we all are the light, that’s all we are. If we surrender ourselves to the light, new manifestation becomes possible.

If we don’t surrender, we are limited to our own faculties, which can only lead to the “Stark” images – endless replication. It’s living life through a shadow consciousness that doesn’t know any better.

Playing it Safe

John: So from your dream yesterday, and now into mine, the ongoing theme is about developing oneself to adjust according to what is unfolding (for yesterday’s discussion, see Another Dimension). That’s very different to the way most of us behave, because we are accustomed to always being headstrong and coming at life in a way that we imagine it’s supposed to be. That headstrong, ego-based approach is, of course, due to our cultural conditioning, i.e., personal experience, education, family life, and social norms.

My dream starts off with me having to contend a bit with my conditioning. The feeling I have is that I’m in a scenario that is far more than I’m used to experiencing. This is pushing my senses to an extreme, which is out of character in terms of how I normally see myself. There is a feeling in the dream that everything is over the top. In other words, my defense mechanisms actually make me think that I know what’s going on.   

The problem, however, is that how things are “supposed” to be, in the living organism of this universe, is actually dictated according to the flow. I am (we are all) more hardwired into this flow than I (we) care to realize. I’ve forgotten it because I have held onto my internal buffers.

These buffers are, of course, defense mechanisms, and without them I have to contend with the aliveness of life more directly. In the dream I saw that as so outrageous that it was unnerving. So it made me feel disoriented.

In the next dream a question was raised regarding what is to going happen. Someone asks the question in relationship to something in the outer: they ask, “Is the stock market going to go up or down?”

It’s like they’re taking a poll to see how different people react. Those who feel more defensive think the stock market is scary and could easily come crashing down. In other words, they fear they will get hurt.

I break through the issue by saying it’s going to go up. There are a whole group of people standing around (including your dad) who agree. But rather than just leaving it as a matter of opinion, it’s important to understand why it’s is going to go up, so I say that it’s determined by one thing: either the money supply – the supply of currency – is going to increase, which is inflationary, and will send the market up, or it’s going to decrease, which is deflationary, in which case the market is going to go down.

So what are these dreams really about? In both sets of images I’m examining how things are meant to unfold. To see things from that vantage point is to get away from personal involvement or personal opinion. I’m being shown that the safest path is to let go of feeling separate from it all, and instead get into the aliveness of the flow and see where it leads.

Of course aliveness here means everything that’s alive – taking into account all that exists – and of course separating out my personal desires, hopes, or hidden agendas, because those only serve to separate me from the flow and cause a hurt to my heart. Humans can’t steer the flow, they must go with it – they must be aligned to what it is doing.

When I try to contend with things separate from the flow of life, that’s when I hurt the heart. And of course when others try to do the same, they will hurt my heart as well. It may seem like human nature to try to direct things away from struggle and hurt – to always try to make things “safe,” but it’s more natural, and in keeping with the aliveness of everything in life, to be in tune with the rhythm. In so doing something from within can then be revealed.

In other words, something is trying to rise up, which means that there’s something hidden that is touching the veils that keep reality hidden from us. To develop, or utilize, the coping devices we have adopted is to hide behind the veil. In so doing, neither our process, nor the process of the universe works very well.

Perhaps another way of saying the same thing is that people try and create an environment that suits their self-image. That act is in contradiction to the flow, and actually causes a contraction in the heart. Anything that veers away from the inner flow of the whole leads to suffering; the inner flow of the whole comes down and touches us from above. Then our light awakens within the greater light and it’s able to rise back up.

The challenge is to take in everything without expectation or judgment, and to be able to flow with that. That puts us closer to the heart of the world and enables us to follow the will of the Creator at play.

The will of the Creator is behind everything in Creation. Access to this flow is not possible when we deceive ourselves in terms of what is really happening.

The Pilot Light

John: In the last two posts (here and here) I have talked about the relationship between the lower self and the higher self, and I just want to delve into that a little bit more because these dreams open up a huge territory in spiritual development, and also provide insight into how our dreams can help that process.

When we are based in the lower self, the ego self, we have the perception that, as we go along in life, we sort things out as they effect us personally. We evaluate everything in relationship to how we feel about it, which is also the degree to which we see the light inside of us as our light. That perception actually affects the light within us. We’ve looked at it enough to recognize that when we relate only in a lower-self way, the inner light diminishes.

Then, at some later point, when the higher self makes itself known to us, we recognize the need to break through the limitation that we’ve imposed on our lives by thinking everything’s personal. What I’m saying is that we basically go out into the world, get ourselves dirtied up by the ways of it (where everyone views life through their egos), and then we come back seeking to recharge the light we have been diminishing, by meditating, reading, or examining our dreams. All these activities (and others) help us relight the light.

Actually, that’s an interesting analogy – when we live in our ego selves, the light of our higher selves acts like a pilot light (on a gas stove) – it sits there at minimum, but nothing’s cooking. To feel greater overall wellbeing, and to access greater understanding, we need to turn the flame up.

I’m still just speaking about a perception – we still look at ourselves as separate in a lower-self way. To be on a development journey, though, we need to elevate ourselves above that perception. So what begins to happen is that, as we feel the inner light getting dulled by things that we’re doing in the outer, we start to practice a process of forgiveness with ourselves.

We might say, “Okay, what was I was doing, in the outer, that caused that to happen?” In some instances, we could say, “Well, what I did was unnecessary.” And in still other instances, we might see what we did as part of an intention that’s important in terms of what we feel we need to do. We might not be able to change the third aspect, but we can change the first two.

Slowly, we begin to watch how certain involvements cause our heart to ache a bit, or to feel how certain relationships drain our energy. That’s the beginning of seeing that the things that dim our inner light can be recognized as something akin to a form of sin (if there is such a thing as sin). We become more and more aware of the things we do that go against our purpose.

The aspects that go against our purpose require redemption, or a degree of letting go, or an act that is akin to forgiveness. So what we learn to do is to bring in, or connect to, a longing. That longing can cause a washing away of the “sin” and a restoring of the light. The longing is basically whatever causes one to surrender and to be able to experience and feel the journey through the heart. The longing turns up the pilot light, and helps release what has been dimming it. That’s the sorting out.

So we go through this back-and-forth process, between the lower-self feeling that everything is personal, and the higher-self knowing that it’s not, for a long, long time. Eventually, we begin to feel, “Gee, I’m not sure if x, y, or z is really worth it anymore.”

All in all, we are still left having to get over, or beyond, something and we still have the dilemma of each day having to contend with it. To the degree to which we are good at sorting these things out and keeping a sense of balance in the outer, we find we can hold it together longer and longer, as we incorporate it into more of our waking life.

Then, along the way, a major, major shift in perspective occurs, and we start to realize that in order to get beyond the up-and-down rollercoaster, we have to attain a deeper letting go.

Tomorrow we will look into the transition from traveling toward god, to traveling in god.