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Posts Tagged ‘healing the past’

Culvert Science AQ2We know from the analogy of flowing water that, when we have a blockage upstream, the water will begin to take a new course through the landscape, and the more water runs through it, the wider the course gets. It is like that within us as we form defense mechanisms, for protection, as a response to the contradictions and stresses we find in the world when we are young. Many times, this process creates blockages that prevent us from flowing in certain ways, sending us off in odd directions, i.e., into anger or emotion, that is no longer a protection but a limitation to what we are trying to do. Our dreams can help us unravel these mechanisms, enabling us to lessen the effects of the blockages. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The way I dreamt it is, in the meditation dream, to get the flow right I have to go back in time to determine the reason why things are the way they are today. I do this over and over in my dream; I keep going back to something and back to something. I’m reverbing back to something, reverbing back to something, as if I’m trying to get it so that it makes sense to me because it doesn’t logically pattern to do this.

I keep doing it, though, to try to prove or establish with myself that this is a viable approach, because rationally thinking, in terms of how my five senses and mind works, I can’t get there that way – because what you can think about is very limited.

So I guess another way of saying it is, you can say that this is an approach that is kind of irrational to the outer mind, yet I have found inside of myself, in terms of noting that there’s something that percolates back there, that this better explains what I need to know about my conditioning, in other words, how I am, why I am the way I am.

Until I learned to do this, I was limited to looking at everything rationally, meaning outwardly rational, and I was therefore unable to break out of a confusion that I carried. Of course, I didn’t know I carried a confusion. The confusion, of course, is the separation.

So the meaning is, is that to go deep within, to another inner time frame, which is how you tend to feel it because you’re going back to address what you’ve suppressed, or hidden, or veiled. In fact you’ve hidden it so well that you can hardly find it anymore. You just react outwardly, for reasons that make no sense. You just keep doing the same thing over and over again, habitually, as a conditioning that’s based upon something that got frozen into a defense mechanism.

So when I go deep within, as if to another inner time frame, what I am doing is I’m explaining to myself why I react the way I do today. So this is what I dream about; I dream about going there in order to find something more, because how something is in the present is unacceptable. It’s a delirium.

So you could say that the purpose of the dream is to point out that the linear perspective, which is your outer five senses and such, that that is a perspective that is not able to access the understanding for why things are the way they are, and why I am the way I am, so I have to have this awakening that goes back and touches the root. This, you might say, kind of inner approach, or basically probing the depths of the wholeness again to untangle what one has nailed down thinking that they’ve nailed something down that’s viable, gives me the sight that I need to access the vibrational impression pent up within. In other words, it’s like an impression, or a defense mechanism, and then you continue to keep playing that out and playing it out and you don’t even know why you play it out, and that influences my psyche’s reactions over and over and over again as a pattern.

So why is this important? There are reactions I have today that are tense and awkward, which I seem to do over and over, that make no sense to my linear mind. For example, if I am bumped by someone, even if it is an accident, my first sensation is to be reactive. You should just be able to drop it, but I have a defense mechanism inside that won’t do that. Even if I know that I should be able to do it, I can’t do it because it’s entrenched. It has to do with a repression that I have established that has taken me outside of the whole, so that I do this kind of control thing. So when I go back to the root cause, when this defense mechanism first started, I am able to identify experientially the reason today for the habituality.

To see the pattern energetically from long ago explains where this habitual pattern is coming from as a bifurcation. And, of course, it’s a bifurcation of the way of what is real. So often it is from a wound or trauma that I repressed within. The contraction, as a result of the defense mechanism, causes me to shut down instead of being in a greater overall connective flow. As a result then, of the shutting down, the habitual pattern will then blind me from the inclusive perspective of the whole – to which I am just a part of all of that.

The limitations, having shut down, then created these defense mechanisms and annihilated things in terms of creating ways that I try to kind of control my well being, the limitations I have placed upon myself are just illusions I think I need in order to sustain a separation from effects – that I suddenly developed the peculiar notion were out of my control. In other words, I want to control, instead of just be. Such definitions blind myself as a result of these reactions, and such reactions then veil my beingness from the wholeness that is permeating all of life.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Inner Time Frame

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John: I just want to continue a bit on the thread we’ve been on, beginning with your dream, Updating the Past, and then my dream, The Need for Redemption. What both of these images are pointing to is a process in us that’s going deeper, toward vibrations held in us from our past. By touching these vibrations, we are given an opportunity to rebalance, heal, and rewrite the events that put them there originally.

Even if we don’t know exactly what moment in our history the vibrations represent, it’s an important process to understand because it requires bringing two parts, or two halves, together. It’s a type of reconciliation, where former antagonists lay down their differences and realize that they can’t move forward without each other.

This reconciliation is needed on many levels, whether between the masculine and feminine genders on this planet, the masculine and feminine aspects within each of us, or the parts of our own history that we bury and negate – we even need to bring those back into the fold, so to speak.

This reminds me that a teacher used to say that someone who is a bad person can sometimes reach more quickly to a depth within themselves. That’s because it’s easy to set the bad behavior aside when they don’t necessarily have any strong spiritual illusions that power it.

In other words, those who think they have an idea about how to change things, or have an effect in the world, often go around in circles because of their spiritual illusion, or their angelic nature – they have fixed themselves to see only one side of the issue. We can’t close ourselves off to the aspects that can bring wholeness.

But in my case, in terms of some type of historical conditioning, it’s as if I’m able to look at both sides of the equation. I’ve always been a bit like this. In fact, I often surprise people when I can sit down and describe how things can go haywire, even if the subject is not in my area of expertise. They wonder how I know, and I just say: “Well, to be a good businessman in today’s society, you have to have a certain degree of the criminal mind.” That way you can protect yourself, because those two aspects are somehow related.

With that in mind, in a roundabout sense, that’s how you (Jeane) and I are correlated: historically, our two clans were infamous for feuding. But actually, at the epicenter of a feud, there is often common ground. In other words, if you can sort out the reactivity (animosity), you can come to a point where there’s a meeting, energetically, and a balance can be regained.

It is said that, in the journey of the soul, those that you struggle with the most are often people whom you were “married” to in the past. In a given lifetime, that which you’re married to can be, if you knew the karma of your soul’s journey, something in which there’s a history of differentiation, or antagonism.

Somehow or other, those divergent aspects get pulled together, and it’s like bringing two halves of a whole back together, and it tends to create a lot of interesting change and growth. To bring two halves like that together, each of those halves have something to contend with within themselves.

At the depth of the feminine, there has to be the forgiveness. At the depth of the masculine, there has to be the letting go. The feminine forgiveness is going to be difficult because she will always have a certain confusion as to why things act up in the way they do because it won’t make sense to her. In other words, she won’t have the facts as to why they continue to go on.

At the threshold of the masculine, the degree to which something pushes him, or touches him, or attempts to direct him, he’ll have to accept that or else he’ll continue to stay in his own trance, which is a state of separation. That, too, is an interesting dance that’s brought to the situation.

It does seem that our dreaming is starting to now shift towards what lies ahead, almost as a preparatory state, because of our upcoming trip to Egypt. It’s like something inside is fast-forwarding, bringing through what we can catch up with, or recognize, or come to know in this place. But as long as we avoid these knowings, or don’t acknowledge them, they will remain dormant.  

So now, all of a sudden, in order to help us experience these hidden vibrations that are in places that we’ll soon be able to partake in, we almost need to have some flash memories come back.

In this regard, there can be an appreciation: in my case a letting go, in your case a forgiveness and acceptance of an overall responsibility. In my case letting go to a responsibility that I’m not fully aware of, having been on the other side of the equation (an honest business man), yet still in that culture. In other words, we are getting more subtle to pull all these energies back into cohesion.

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Jeane: I had a long, involved dream but I lost the middle and only remember what happened at the beginning and the end.

To start, there’s a series of little metallic whistles – like you see in a pipe organ. They’re little pipes that have to do with sound, and there’s a sequence to them. If I get permission, I can clean them.

One series of pipes are in a row and then some others form a circle around that. If you work with them in a certain order it affects the sound in a certain way, i.e., it changes the sound to something much greater.

There’s something about having to get permission for working with them, and then having to do it in a certain sequence. I think this process must have annoyed me, which caused me to lose the middle of the dream.  

John: What you’re working with is a hearing center or listening center. It’s a unique listening center in that the environment itself has to be at a particular degree of quietness (order) and then, if it’s meant to be, you’re able to hear more – in a subjective way – in terms of how things naturally flow.

The part of the dream you lost would probably tell you why it’s important that you learn to listen in this way. The idea that orders need to be given is touchy, because that could also reflect a type of guilt on an inner level.  

In other words, what is it that blocks you from being able to listen to and handle the pipes in a natural way? Do you carry preconceived notions that you need to be a particular way in order to take in something that’s occurring naturally for you? Do you have to penetrate this idea that you have certain limitations and certain obstructions?

Jeane: I had to get permission, rather than follow orders. But I was annoyed by that. I kept wanting to work with the pipes without them.

John: I think you have to do it without the permission because I think that points to a type of guilt that you carry, or a conceptualization, in terms of how you need to be. And that guilt has been converted into an image where you have to comply in some way to be able to have what’s required for something greater to occur.

I think that a big part of the problem is the fact that such an inner condition exists. Any concept that you have about needing to be a particular way is a type of limitation from flowing freely. You should be able to naturally know how to link with, and create, an atmosphere in which something can be perceived for you and for others around you.

The idea of permission implies that there are separate things going on, and it signals an inability to accept responsibility, in the sense of you being completely empty, i.e., not carrying any kind of structure that needs to measure or weigh whether something’s right or not. You should just be able to naturally hear, i.e., to get natural guidance.

Yet a part of you (the annoyance) is saying, “No, it shouldn’t have to work that way.” So you know better than that, but you still have some psychologies that stand between you and your ability to naturally perceive what’s needed.

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