Functioning From Within

Shifting our way of being from responding and reacting to the outer world, to responding to a guidance from within, is truly fundamental in the journey away from the apparent separateness of ego identity, toward becoming a part of the connected Wholeness. Today’s dreams delve into this struggle. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The dream I had, what I remember of it, it was like there was an energy that would come down. It came down straight like a line, but at an angle, and then it would refract off. It would hit below and refract off.

The energy was alien but it would set something off, and so then we would be trying to figure that out, I think. I just can’t remember that much of it, but it was followed by a little image and in that image it’s like maybe you had visited your family. And you had a shirt, and in the pocket of the shirt you found a folded piece of paper, and I saw it was a message from your father but maybe it’s kind of a hidden message because people just think it’s a piece of paper that you had.

But I can see on the back of it there’s some writing, even though it looks like an address and a number, but I know it’s a message from your dad.

John: We’re both playing with the same thing, and that is: how the energetic needs to be. What is off, what is not working, in your first dream, is the dependency of an energy coming down that takes and awakens and keeps something viable and alive, and a person has gotten dependent upon it being like that, only the energy is refracting off. It’s not coming through.

What the dream is indicating is that the normal flow that one has to work with, or depend upon, is not properly reaching the source, in terms of the ability to flow creatively. And when situations get like that they spin more and more reflectively out of control, and less and less connectively within.

It’s really, really important that one connects within and goes to an inner depth, because you can’t subsist any longer trying to take and be balanced from the situations that exist out there because there isn’t the customary usual feeding type flow that comes in.

That is what your first image is doing, and the second image is indicating, and was your way of pointing out, that there is a guidance or a knowing that one has, as a light that comes through from some place at a deep inner depth inside them, and that unless you are connected to that, unless you find that, unless you hold that, unless you honor that you have something like in the first image. You will end up with a situation in which you’re guessing, in which you’re acting but don’t have the ability to make a proper access, and therefore you become depleted. You get depleted and your energetic is drawn out and worn out by the reflective conditions around you.

The oddity of something like this is that the only thing that measures this is the heart, and the heart has to have a longing or a yearning that pulls for something to be a particular way because the mind and the senses, this never makes any sense to the mind or the senses. The mind or the senses bifurcate off of the energetic in terms of how they go into the outer and deal with the reflections, but the heart doesn’t.

The heart starts with an overall and finds that the mind and the sense is limited to a narrowing, and if you’re trying to function by way of connecting to a transmission that is bifurcated and not there, to where you’re only thinking that you’re getting the memo. In other words, the feminine nature is such that it sits in a world in which it has gotten accustomed to having the energetic come down and awaken things.

But that awakening that is happening around in terms of appearances is bifurcated, it’s off, but there is an inner light that one can have – when you look at the second dream – that one needs to be careful to stay attentive to. And if you stay attentive to that then something will be okay.

What you’re doing is the scenario that’s triggering these kinds of dreams is you realize that I’m kind of going away, and what I’m going away into is something that has its own different separate kind of reflective energy. And you kind of know that that is bifurcated in some fashion, but I’ll be okay if I hold to the heartful inner energy, which is like my father’s energy.

But this is your dream so you’re using me as an example of what you have to do to hold onto something inside you, that you have to find that inner linkage that feeds you and exist there because the energy coming down and through, that you may have been able to get along with in the past is bifurcated, it is distorted, and therefore not giving you what you need.

Now, my dream describes more in detail as to why that is.

I’ve been seeing this and not understanding what it meant before when I would see myself like on a job and kind of lost in the job and not remembering what it is I was supposed to do and where’s the foreman and where’s all of that. This time when it repeats I actually get it because now I see why it’s like that. There’s something that’s been dissipated or lost.

So this starts off where I’m in a warehouse where the shelves of product are getting empty and I’m losing my memory all the time, or as the time keeps progressing, in terms of what should be on each of the shelves in terms of the large pallets of wood that stock the shelves.

In other words, what we have is we have these huge shelves or bins that hold pallets of various sized wood and ordinarily if you’re really, really connected to this place you’re connected to something in which those shelves are full and also you know a means that if they need to be filled, what goes where.

In this dream, because somehow or another I am not making the proper connection to that linkage, that part that I use as a resource base, I find that what I am doing is I’m taking certain sized wood and loading it off to one side. And those piles that I make, as time keeps progressing, they keep getting smaller and smaller and less and less stable because I’m starting off with one set of confidence, but I’m not able to sustain it because somehow or another I’m going back and forth getting disoriented as to where I’m finding what I need.

As a consequence, I’m getting less and less done, and more and more black workers are being hired and they walk around with their shirts off and I’m told that they are the real deal, meaning that they would be good hard workers that seem to be able to stick to the basics and know what it is that needs to be done, and I seem to be pretty drifty. They can work harder. They are more consistent than I am. I don’t have any direction anymore. I know that this can’t continue. There’s no supervisor around. Eventually I will become helpless at this rate.

The meaning is I’m becoming less and less capable of self motivation, and am relying more and more upon subjectively feeling my way around. That’s why I’m dreaming this dream. This too only goes so far. You can’t just subjectively feel your way around.

In your dream, of course, the energy coming down is bifurcated, and so in your dream if you’re going somewhere to do something you have to have an inner linkage or you’re in real trouble now, because why is that? That’s the means to hear and to remember. The energetic for that is not found in an outer way.

The dream is showing me that I am losing the inner connection from which this is all made known. I lack the inner guidance that is there and then I’m losing the connection to what it is, and what it is that I should be doing, and when I should be doing it, and how I should be doing it, and where I am to find things because I can’t find them reflectively and I got to know that they’ve got to be built there as a resource that just sits there inside me in an unlimited capacity.

So I become more and more dissipated in terms of the inner condition, is what I’m seeing, because the thing’s on the shelves. I shouldn’t have to load those things on the shelf. I just need to support their existence there because they are naturally somehow there.

It’s the part of me that I don’t know that is the real deal, that takes and has the handle on the shelves, and product that fills the place up, from which I can then take and do my thing. But only if I have full access to shelves that are full of product in this warehouse, as opposed to the shelves getting empty.

What the dream is saying is that there is a means or a mechanism or connection inside that is dissipating and this is a dream that is after the program, which means that the program builds you up to a degree and then you kind of slide from that, and as you slide from that the shelves go empty and then pretty soon you’re caught in not knowing how to flounder your way around.

In other words, a heartfulness is needed to link me to the inner space or inner source. Without this I slowly fall back more and more onto a delirium of not really having a good way of knowing what I’m doing. The best I can do is reflections with a memory shot, and no guidance, and no listening center.

The scenario of that of course is the dissipation that happens when you just sit back and you don’t have that real deep connection that you had at the program, where you suddenly got full and then as you’re sitting back you’ve been adjusted and pointed in terms of the means upon which you need to be at this point in time, attuned to that, and that’s at that space where the inner turns into the outer. And so instead if you’re sitting there thinking that you could somehow mutate from that, and that other is just going to be there amnesically, you find out that something goes whacky in terms of how you feel your own heart and it is the heart that you have to hearken to.

It’s the heart that you have to pay attention to. You can’t have your attention focused into the outer and how the outer looks and responds and is because that will just take you into a type of delirium because, as much as it wants to know, and thinks that it knows – it doesn’t know.

We exist at a point in time where everything has to come from this empty space. And, also, as a scenario for the future is I’m going into a situation in which those I will be with, like Rick, who is going to give me a ride to the airport and my mother that will be there, they’re all going to be acting out upon outer reflections and my challenge will be to reside in the inner in order to be able to sort out what needs to be done and what can be done.

Look to the inner, feel the inner, hear from the inner, as the place for heartfelt inflection, and not get caught up in any of the outer nuances.

In other words, function from within, the aspect of my own light, in terms of how I hear it. Otherwise I’ll be pulling from the outer reflections and I can never do that anymore. I can’t be doing that because that just depletes the shelves to the point where you’re in a total delirium – and what a strange feeling you get when you don’t have that connection to reside in.


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Life, Already in Progress

John: Next I had a series of quick dreams and each one has to do with something that’s out of the ordinary.

In this image I see a sack of rubble. I’m trying to figure out what happened. As I pause, I realize that the rubble is the remains of a majestic sculpture of a horse, but now it’s all crumbled in a sack.

This horse, as a sculpture, projects its powerful characteristics. In a dream, a horse has a quality of causing something to unfold. A horse moves with power, and figures out what needs to be and helps to facilitate that.

Something has happened, though, because all the power and majesty has been turned to rubble – the power is gone. The horse has somehow transformed into something unintelligible.

When the mobility and power of the horse exist, there is a means to resolve conditions. With this gone, all is lost.

This dream is adding to the theme that for change to occur, the power and nobility must be present within us. When the outer factors dictate, our power gets drained and nothing is possible.

As we saw in the dream yesterday (see Presence of the Heart) where the conversation with the neighbor drained me, whenever we get drawn in to outer events in a personal way, we lose the inner linkage and connection. It’s actually a very subtle shift because, if we are open to it, everything in the outer. i.e., the wind, trees, plants, animals, etc, can communicate with us, telling us what they want or need in order to be further groomed, or allowed their outplay.

In the next dream I see myself entering into a scenario that started long ago. In fact, it started so long ago, I’m not sure how I’m meant to proceed. I’m  wondering what’s going on and where everything is.

Suddenly, in a flash, I’m able to glance all the way back to the beginning and see that when this scenario started, there was a wonderful, fragrant scent associated with it.

In other words, it was like someone gave it a start with a quality of grace and love, or that something had touched it. It means that it had a greater life than its own propelled into it, to cause it to unfold.

All this information was lost to me when I began, but by seeing it, it’s all I need. I now know that there is more to this process than meets the eye, and I just need to pick up the thread where I find it and proceed.

The wonderful nature of this fragrance tells me that I’m on the right track. It tells me that I’m not just dealing with something unimportant or tangential. No, it’s all meant to be. This all has to do with something as it is intended.

The importance here is the idea of going along with the thread as I find it now. Wherever, and whenever, we discover the true meaning of life, we are meant to join the process where it is. It’s meant to happen, or there wouldn’t have been the grace of the special fragrance at the inception long, long ago. The heartfulness of what is designed to be is hidden and dormant, but I now know it’s not actually lost. It’s reawakening.

In the next dream I see an image in which something has been created and copies are being made, one at a time, by a very slow copier. The person involved with this doesn’t really seem to know what’s been done or they wouldn’t be acting like this: they’re not going to make any headway making one copy at a time on some slow motion machine.

In other words, something more has now quickened and is ready to unfold. I ask the person, “What are you trying to do? Why are you making the copies one page at a time?”

To get this out, so that something more can happen – which is something I suddenly know is wanted but hasn’t yet been admitted – I know the completed manuscript needs to be taken to a place that can copy, collate, and staple it together quickly. Then all that needs to be done is hand them out.

The faster this is done, the quicker something more can unfold, i.e., the next step can occur.

Here I’m being shown that the thing that needs to unfold is a done deal. I seem to be the last to get the memo, so this scenario has to do with completing various tasks that will allow the bigger picture to unfold.

These three images together give a nice summation of where we find ourselves as humans today. We need to connect to and keep the power within us, or we will find ourselves drained and everything will turn to rubble. When we understand the purposes of human life – to be a contributing part to something much greater – we can join any time because it’s already in progress. And, finally, something new is ready to unfold, i.e., things are changing, and the sooner everyone gets the memo on that, the better off we’ll all be.

Ultimately, the thing that stands most in our way, as individuals and as a species, is that we focus completely on the realms of our physical senses – the outer life – instead of the realms of energetic essences, or, our inner, higher connections.

Holding the Note

John: And so, as we discussed yesterday, you are trying to break through this amnesia state because you know that this is what makes everything come alive again. So you see yourself as this model, or this particular type, and you have to take it to the next step wherein everything that you flow into, and everything that you touch in life, is all part of you being a model – this quality is recognized energetically, rather than outwardly. In other words, you relate to the realms within you no matter what banality is occurring in the outer.

Now, for some peculiar reason there is a bit of an embarrassment in you about this (you don’t want to be recognized). This sense of embarrassment has to do with a leftover understanding of what the environment you are in (the parlor full of ladies) is looking for. In other words, that collective consciousness carries a projected world-view. So you, in being the model, feel that you have to accommodate that since that is what is expected of you.

The question then becomes, what if you actually saw everything happening around you as an aspect of the vibration that you are carrying inside, and that there really isn’t any difference? There is only difference when you buy into what someone, or something, else is trying to say or to project.

Do you quibble with that? No. The group is putting something out there as a new linkage, as part of the vibration you have inside. And, can you pull that out and experience that for yourself?

This scenario doesn’t mean to show that you can necessarily do that for them. It would be nice if you could, but this isn’t an us-or-them situation. It’s an image where everything that is taking place is describing a back-and-forth (inner and outer) of the heartfullness you are feeling. It is this heartfullness that elevates you from having your energy slowly drained away from you by the day-to-day events that just accumulate and come at you from every direction.

When you can actually turn your attention and see yourself as being the model in everything that happens, and no longer have to accommodate and orchestrate your life to keep with the thought patterns and cultural mannerisms that are projected, that’s when you are able to maintain your energy and not be drained by the world around you.

In other words, now your experience has a one-to-one correspondence with things that are happening around you; without that correspondence, you cannot go through. This inner change is what shifts you through the “middle” area that absorbs the light. And so you are being shown in your dream how hard it is to be the model. In other words, you have to be able to be the model in spite of how others see you, and how that causes you to see yourself.

And, of course, the way you (personally) are inclined to see yourself means you have to go into a kind of hiddeness. Now if you are able to hold the inner note of the model, and have such a focus that it becomes how everyone else sees you, you will have sustained it, you will have brought it through as a vibration. That is how an energetic (the light) inside of us gets effused into life; otherwise it gets dissipated, or drained away.

If, little by little, you accommodate every situation and circumstance by moving from where you are to what they are energetically projecting, your light is diminished. The others in the dream are not fully recognizing that they have to carry this vibration as a constant inside of themselves.

That is why there are these lessons. That is why, in Sufi practices, there is the zikir (the repeated prayer), because through constant repetition you become able to maintain this note in you. The goal is to hold the note in you while you are in life and relating to everything else. When it embeds itself in you, everything you do in life is touched by it.

The lesson behind this is how you lift yourself from the dark hole and into the fifth level of the heart. The dark hole feels to you as a sadness that you carry. Where does this sadness come from? It is coming from the dark hole of disconnection. So what you dreamt was almost a relief from that, showing you, and asking you, “Can you be the model? Can you hold the note that is the model?”

As an example, if you imagine that your balance comes from things (people) outside yourself, doing this or saying that, you will never find a balanced point (note). You will find yourself instead getting dryer and dryer, duller and duller, more and more frustrated, emptier and emptier, and even crackable (fragile) as a consequence. You will be drained by the bit that is always missing, as opposed to you sustaining that bit yourself.

This is said to be an easier part of the process for the feminine to actually get because the feminine has this way of knowing that its ticket is to love everything in spite of the way it is. This is the nature of the mother who still cannot disown her little Johnny even when he has completely messed up. The feminine knows that this is how it is to be done.