If Everyone Jumped…

lands_640Off a bridge, would you too? It’s an age-old conundrum, but this dream points out that concept on an inner level. Since we are all the characters in our dreams, the roles played by others in our images become very interesting. Are they with us? Ignoring us? Working against us? It is so important to remember all the lives we have inside us, because one aspect within us may be absolutely sure we want to make a spiritual journey, while other aspects have different agendas. That’s not a flaw, yet to truly keep on our path we must, over time, convince every part of ourselves of the mutual goal. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.) This post was originally published in March 2016.

Jeane: The very earliest dream I had, I was a younger boy in that dream. The only scene I remember is jumping into some water that was this really pretty green color. And then I’m with a couple other boys, but I didn’t really pull that dream out.

And then in the next dream, which seemed all jumbled, it just felt like they were friends. It felt like they were boys about 12 or so, but nice kids.

I jumped in the water and then I got out. I don’t even know if they jumped in for sure. The water was this beautiful, kind of green water. It was a green color that was really pretty. That’s the only reason I think I even remembered the scene.

John: So you jumped in the water because you recognized something about the water.

Jeane: But it was like you couldn’t stay in it.

John: And you couldn’t stay in it because…?

Jeane: I don’t know.

John: And the only ones around were those that were other than people that you might be familiar with?

Jeane: They were friends, but I don’t remember.

John: Well, I’ll tell you what the theme of the dreaming is, not that it adds to the dream. Your second dream probably finishes things, but the theme of the dreaming has to do with discovering a part of yourself that does not necessarily apply, or is it apparent, or is it accepted, or is it taken on, by those who are part of your connective group. Those who you are familiar with.

In other words, they aren’t going along and jumping in the water, although you do kind of know them. It is you that has the excitement and the interest and the draw to jump into the water. And then, of course, you get right out, but at no time do you see that any of them have joined you.

And so, a dream like this raises the question, why is that the case? But you did know who they were. Did you always know who they were before you jumped in the water? Apparently barely. You don’t know for sure. You just were able to see them. You had a sense they were friends.

And that’s the dilemma. In other words, it seems to be portraying something that you’re to do, that opens something up, expands something, but there doesn’t appear to be any reciprocation or recognition in terms of their camaraderie about that issue. And you know that you’re to jump in the water and then you get right out?

You just knew you had to jump in the water and then get right out. You just saw yourself jump in the water, then get right out. That’s what you saw. It’s not a question of knowing that you had to do this. You just said that that’s what you saw yourself doing.

That works, too, in terms of being able to provide or be part of a quality or a note or a breakthrough that is not readily appreciated, or understood, or part of where your friends are at.

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Messing Around

If we think of energy as food, then we can understand why letting go can be so difficult: it’s like we are suddenly fasting after eating three meals a day for our whole life. When we fast, our stomach and body will complain. When we let go of an energetic – a defense mechanism or an old psychology – we are basically starving that energy within us, and it will cry out more and more as the days go by hoping to get some food from us. Of course, if we feed it even a little bit, it will have new energy to demand even more food. Instead we should keep letting go, gently, as we proceed. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So anyway I go back into the dream in which a pattern of hurting the heart is being repeated. The heart tends to become veiled and a helplessness gets in if a traumatic pain is being repeated in any way, shape, or form. 

So, in other words, when you go through life and the very first step, going back to the meditation dream, the very first step equates you to a pain. Often a person can ignore that pain, subrogate that and try to go off to one side and try to play in a subtle way. But, if you hold to the pain, you can get a deeper truth out of that and then slingshot to the true letting go, which is necessary inside. It takes all of the energy; all of the Kundalini energy to do that. 

What this dream is doing is it’s offering some additional information when it comes to violating the heart. What I’m learning is that once a person comes to identify with pain, which you do in the first phase of your life, and you don’t run, or hide, or suppress it, once a person identifies with a pain, that there is a pain, there’s a tendency to adopt an approach that seeks to mitigate the pain, and that such an approach is also afflictive to the heart and its psyche. 

In other words, it’s trying to create a shadow dynamic or something. So when the heart acknowledges a pain, attempts to work around the pain in similarly reflective ways it’s still violating the heart. The heart is not a buying and selling organ, it goes back and forth. It’s either all in an overallness, or it’s bifurcated by some aspect that’s still a hold out in terms of like the quality of the breath or something. 

And so I saw this pattern. And so, in my sleep now, I’m seeing this repeating. And the first pattern I saw it repeating was in a football game in which second opportunities and more favorable circumstances occurred as a kind of do-over. Even when successful there is still the remembrance of a prior trauma. And then there is a subtle subrogation as an attempt to wipe out this memory. And this memory is actually a type of archetypal force that is still established in the psyche as a reflective conditioning – even if one can paper it over, or shadow level veil it. 

So what this means is, this is another way of saying that the lesser pains that one approaches, the lesser octaves, where you take and you go through practices and you go through all kinds of in-between things, that’s still messing around. It’s not as direct in terms of taking it full on. The key is when you take it full on you are inclined to pay attention to what the heart is trying to say, as opposed to trying to figure out how you can coordinate the heart in a way you want to coordinate it. 

So the dream then repeated in terms of doing something else in life. In this dream, I had learned how to document a vibratory sound on a specific musical piano type instrument. And then suddenly, the environment that I’m in has changed. In other words, I don’t have this instrument that I’ve honed this on available to me. And it looks like I’m going to have to do this, recreating this vibratory quality that pings out there and things, on an ordinary piano.

My memories of having to painfully struggle from a past of doing this in kind of a more ordinary way where I didn’t know how to let go and just thought with some aspect of the breath, on the breath, churned up from my psyche to create a fear and undermine an inner confidence and resolve.

In this dream, as I’m reflectively denoting the self-limiting vibration, a person in this place says, no, no, not the piano. And they say this before I’ve even acted it out. I’ve identified with the vibration inside of a kind of flickering pain trauma, oh boy, kind of thing. And they say no, no, no. We have the machine you need in the back. 

And so I go back there and am pleasantly surprised: there it is in the very back. And this is even a newer version than what I am familiar with. As soon as I sit down at this machine to recreate this vibration, I’m still vibrating with the psyche trauma – I nearly repeat it. And so it’s as if this is influencing my focus and attention because I put in the wrong note right off the bat to try to transmit. 

And so I have to shut down the machine, get myself vibrationally re-attuned, and I settle back and do what I know how to do, and am meant to do, with a focus, attention and consciousness I have accessed from within. 

What I’m really saying here is that if you go back to the very first part where everyone comes into life and gets hit with something, and then comes to recognize that there is a whole other way, if you start playing with this whole other way, without really hearing it in terms of how the heart is meant to be an intertwined overallness, you will flicker yourself back to the pain. And if you flicker yourself back to the pain, you either will let go of the pain completely and make a big step, or you will traumatize yourself. 

And if you traumatize yourself, even if you’re doing it in a gentler way, you’re still not making any headway. And that when you truly recognize the stillness, you have to hold the stillness and, if it’s dead, you still carry some sort of painful trauma inside, the mere flickering and playing with that painful trauma in some bifurcated way is going to cause it to get loud again. 

So what the dream is pointing out is that if there is a latent trauma embedded upon the breath that still haunts, even if repressed or harbored in a distant background, any familiarity to this will bring it back as an archetypal violation and vibration. The heart knows an overall intertwined oneness; at its essence it knows this. When you’re able to delve into it and fully experience the pain of things, you become keener and keener in recognizing the bifurcations.

So you don’t steer to try to do something spiritual with practices and such, you just learn to let go of it all. So until there is a true letting go and genuine self-forgiveness, the heart is not able to be itself, which is the essence of all there is.

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Bringing Something Back

We know what happens when we try to clean out an area of our home: we go through drawers or boxes or cabinets and we have the garbage bags by our side because we’re really going to get rid of everything – this time. Yet, no matter how well we begin, at some point we stop and look a little more carefully at a certain object and recall some memories about it, and then we set it aside to get to the rest. By the end we have a brand new pile of things we’ve set aside to save for another time. This is why letting go of our psychologies and mannerisms is a gradual step-by-step process, most of the time, because part of us still isn’t ready. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In the next dream, you and I are in one building, which I think is with a religious group we’re affiliated with. I never really see them clearly, but we’re next to a church. And, for some reason, there’s a point at which we want to go over to the church just to get baptized. 

So we go over first to the church to look in at the church and the minister and the people that are there, check it out a bit, then we go back to our own building and people. And then when it’s time to get baptized, it’s like I go over to get baptized but I’m not sure quite what’s happened to you, we’ve gotten separated, or you’re coming later, I don’t know. So I’ve gone ahead. 

And when I get over there, first I observe that the way that the priest there baptizes people is he takes them from the church building across the street into another building; these are all wooden buildings. When he goes into the other building, he goes past the public area and then has them crawl on their hands and knees through this bathroom. And inside the bathroom somewhere is the water he uses to baptize them. 

So, since it’s my turn, now I’ve observed this once and then I’m going to get baptized, I crawl on my hands and knees following him over these wooden floors and through this funky bathroom to this back room. And then I see there’s a basin there that he’s taking water out of, and he pours it over your head to baptize you. 

Well, when he pours the water over my head, suddenly, this auxiliary building is filled with people, a whole group of people that are related in some associational way are suddenly there, whole families. The priest takes this as a sign that I’ve created this or brought this, or attracted all of these people there. I think he’s been superstitious, but I don’t say anything. 

Because I’ve been baptized, but I’m still leaving the building, it’s like I’m still crawling on hands and knees. And when I want to leave the front of the building, what I realized is I have to go through these whole crowds of people that have suddenly showed up, including moving aside for a minute before I can get down a bank, because a mother and her daughters – who are all celebrated and dressed up –  are coming up the bank, and then I can get down.

I still don’t know quite what’s happened to you because I’ve gone on ahead, in this instance, but I’m actually headed back to the building where we normally go.

John: It’s interesting that you would use the word baptized in the deepest meaning of it. In other words, the word baptized has a very, very deep meaning of itself, in that, to be truly baptized you let go of all things. You’re going over to where you’re going to absolve yourself of everything.

You started off involved in something which is familiar to you, that is your way of trying to do something, and have come to the recognition and realization that you need to fully let go of everything. In order to be complete, in order to be whole, you have to let go of everything. 

And that’s what baptizing really is. Baptizing is something in which it’s symbolic to the idea that you have truly transformed from holding on to some aspect that you’re carrying about your nature. 

Well, as circumstances would have it, that may be the deeper meaning of what baptized means, but you’re not able to do it in the fullness in which it is, where there is the emptiness and the oneness and the wholeness. And you still are harboring over the idea of where am I at? And also having to crawl or go through a whole process to so to speak get there. And because you are still trying to take all of that with you – this crawling or quality of whatever it is that you think you have to go through.

You also then, after being baptized, as if you’re able to come back into life with something, think that you have to go through this whole deal again, crawling and this, that, and the other back to contend with what is still harbored. 

So what you’re doing is you’re creating an interesting image in which you see yourself as not truly able to let go in the full sense of the word because you still have these aspected, bifurcated mannerisms or qualities or characteristics that are harbored in some fashion upon the breath, that you are thinking that you can take with you, because the true definition of a baptizing is to let go of all such vibrations, to let go of all past, to let go of all kinds of things that condition you to having to be in some bifurcated energetic way from the essence of a stillness and a wholeness. So, it’s an interesting way of looking at it.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Bringing Something Back