holding energy in the heart – Dreaming into Knowing

John: In my dream, I’m confronted with two different energetics. I’m of the opinion that I can’t let the two energetics come too close to one another, so I put one in a separate container, away from the vibration of the other. This way I can handle each one distinctly; I don’t know how to carry both of them as part of an overall whole.

At first I do try to figure out how to put them in the same container, but I realize that I’m just creating confusion for myself. Somehow being together lowers the clarity for both of them, to the point where I’m not sure if I can handle either one.

I see that each of the energies is having some sort of effect on me. That effect, of course, means that I still have some sort of personal involvement, or mannerism, with each one, and perhaps more with one than the other. I have to keep them separate.

Then I realize that to truly disassociate myself, I need to farm it out, which means I delegate the responsibility of one energetic to another person. I’ll handle one and someone else can handle the other. This way I don’t have to go back and forth energetically with these two distinct issues.

If I still have the idea that I have to be a certain way with the container over here, and I have to be a different way with that container over there, then all I’m doing is confusing myself. Yet as I do this, I suddenly realize that it’s not just two energetic issues, it’s three issues. So maybe I have to take one on and delegate two out.

Then I realize that, in a world of inner connectivity, they all come together. It’s just that I don’t really know that yet. The degree to which I’m feeling that I have to disassociate and cut myself up into components or parts, has to do with the fact that I’m not able to take in the entire big picture.

Even though I know that what’s going on is all correlated in terms of an overall energy, I’m not there yet and I’m feeling overwhelmed. The overwhelmed feeling has to do with the need to jockey back and forth in terms of the vibrational mannerism of one energetic versus the vibrational mannerism of the other.

In doing that, I’m effecting the heart, in terms of how the heart is able to hold in its container capacity. If my heart is able to take and recognize each energetic for how it is, yet still understand it as part of an overall, then I won’t be afflicted the way that I am.

But I don’t have such a heart, so I’m caught up in how to not be overwhelmed or confused because there’s this tendency to cut myself to ribbons.

What is the scenario that creates such a conundrum? Well, the scenario is multifaceted, with bigger levels and lesser levels.

On a bigger level I feel I’m somehow responsible, in an overall way, for trying to find a cadence in terms of the energy, which could cause everything to let go of its separateness and come together as a wholeness.

But that seems too big a gulp to take on, so that leaves breaking it down to something smaller.

In the dream, you could say one container was my sore shoulder, another was something that’s been bugging me a little bit that has to be dealt with differently; it requires a different focus and attention. Then that opened up to where there was a third thing.

Perhaps energetics are like thoughts, and they each vie for a part of the heart. The degree to which we allow ourselves to be pulled in all these directions, is the degree to which we’re eventually whittled down to a nub.

Something in outer life triggered this imagery, and it’s that I’m being torn between a number of work projects that are in critical stages. And I’m having to rely on other people, some of whom have personal agendas and aren’t proving completely reliable. So it feels like I have a number of very separate issues going on that I have to keep track of, and each one has its own personal intrigues because of the people involved.

So it would be very easy for me to become just as scattered as these issues, and be a different way, in me, for each of them, and to get sucked in to the politics of every situation, which would just drain everything from me.

Of course what I seek is to see the Oneness of everything, and to hold the same inner location no matter what I’m involved with, or interacting with. I aim at being able to carry and hold an energy so that whatever circumstance I’m in in the outer, that energy is able to remain in its nothingness, its inner essence, and in its emptiness.

But if I can’t carry this inner state in the small ways, then I can’t do it in the big ways. If I get thrown around like I was describing, how can I hope to carry an energetic in a wholeness such that it permeates out, and infuses itself, into a bigger picture answer?

If I can’t find it for myself, then it can’t be connected to in what’s going on in the larger context. Therein lies the real problem, and I don’t necessarily have good answers for it. The purpose of the dream is to see if I’m able to multitask various vibratory reflections, while holding an inner connection through it all.

If I’m unable to do it, then there’ll be cross contamination. If I’m able to do it, I’ll find the thread of interconnectivity and be able to flow, holding onto the inner note that’s at the essence of it all (even though I don’t realize this yet).

John: My dreams all took a bizarre turn. The images seemed absurd in relation to what was happening. I was using a new energy that was coming from really deep inside and, instead of being able to bring it through cleanly, it was stirring up everything that’s a disturbance in me.

As long as I continue to do that, I prevent the new energy from coming through and instead push something out in front of it that’s an old pattern, or anger, or frustration about any number of things.

So the dream has to do with all kinds of screwball ideas that show me that I’m taking the new energy and appropriating it to help solve my indulgences. For example, one scene involves a bakery shop (that exists in my waking life) that features gluten-free bread. There are some legal issues cropping up for them, but in the dream my solution is to add a meatpacking area to the shop. You know, a place that can be used for shaping and carving sides of beef or something.

A meatpacking place might provide a service that’s needed, but it’s completely different in sensibility to an all-natural bakery. This bizarre image just shows how strange it can get when you take new energy into an old attitude or mannerism, treating it as if that’s how it should be used. It isn’t. The new energy should be brought through us cleanly and freely, without any additions. That’s an aspect of humans being in service to Creation.

I’m able to see this with a broader perspective now, but because I’m indulging rather than bringing through the raw energy, I’m transposing the energy from a “form” into a “space.” That’s imposing a limitation on it – that’s defining it or reducing it because of my interference.

This and other images bounced around during the night, but this is what I wrote up about it. It’s an esoteric rendition of trying to feel the vibration. So, that’s why I think the theme of the dream is to be receptive to an original thought coming from the vibration.

An original thought, in other words, is a thought that one lets go of, that one doesn’t apply to anything in particular. When it is left as it is, it can work its energy in a multiplicity of ways, for each person to utilize as they see fit. It can become a tuning fork vibration for anyone to connect into.

To do this, I must let go into a greater depth within. The vibration is like light: light, in and of itself, carries everything that’s necessary – it carries the full spectrum, it carries information. Light carries a knowing and, as we access the different gradients of light inside ourselves, we can access different gradients of a natural knowing.

The same is true for sound rather than light. Sound is a vibration that has imbedded in it the seeds that can spring forth into life, and thereby usher in new possibilities. But if we are self-indulgent, the new becomes the bizarre. If we’re not indulgent and we go to our heart – if we hold it in the heart instead of in the mind – the inflections are then original and they can bring about change.

Remember your dream where you were able to see the space with the lines of energy? If you indulge in a personal way, you just can’t bring it through. But if it can come through uncontaminated as much as possible, then it is released into life and can do incredible things.

Your follow-up dream showed exactly that – a reaction was set off in you and you felt in danger and had to jump from a moving train. However, when you’re Traveling In God you’re meant to bring things straight through because God is in everything. Because you were traveling in that, you were able to jump back on the next train.

In my case, I’m getting the insight but the images are off because I’m not truly neutral in terms of my outer nature. Consequently, I take the new note, or vibration, and misuse it, and it becomes a myriad of thoughts that attempt to alleviate the reactivity or denseness that I carry.

Yet I understand that every time energy gets to a certain point in me, I get in the way. I block and blur and stifle it from coming out freely. What’s interesting, though, is we’ve reached a point where we can see this; we’re meant to see this.