Posts Tagged ‘identity and ego’

resim34In society and culture we are expected to have opinions about everything, and to be the controller of our destiny. And if we do not, we can be seen as ineffective and lost. Yet, in terms of our spiritual journey, what we want to control are the things we will not do, the standards we will not go below. If we are in charge and control of that, we can allow everything else to unfold of its own accord. In this way, we prevent the erosion of standards, but we allow what wants to happen, energetically, to happen – unimpeded. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Then my sleep dream seems to cover another component, in terms of pointing out a type of adab, in terms of how this is to be seen, or to work, in manifestation.

In this dream my challenge is to see if I can get real close, in an outer scenario, without setting off an awareness and recognition too quickly. In this dream, I have gotten real close to an outer happening, and its meaningfulness, and I’m being careful to be discreet so as to not give away my presence.

The challenge is to come as close as I can without my direct hereabouts being too obvious; hereabouts, whereabouts, whatever. So this is a difficult undertaking. There is a constant tug which I must be careful to not violate, and that tug is to be seen and known. In this dream I am noticing how painful it is to get ever so close as to be virtually present in the situation, while still avoiding detection. I seem to be able to pull this off, in the dream, but it leaves a certain qualm, you know, because the aspect that’s a quality of the ego would rather it not have to be like that.

Significance of the dream: To go too far, in other words, in terms of trying to shake, or awaken, or expose, or to bring about an understanding about something, or to touch something, to go too far is to subject myself, and those I’m connected with, with too much too quickly. I am being let in, in this dream, on the idea that so far everything is unfolding okay. The latent pain I feel is from the ego wanting recognition, or acknowledgement, in terms of its role in the process.

What is going on is never about the ego, not in the literal, graspable sense of things. The ego is kind of a quality of a type of magnetism, but in a grounding way. Because in the outer the ego’s need is to be seen and heard, and that that seeing and hearing creates this personal existence conundrum. To the degree that that sort of personal existence conundrum predominates there is, what I would call, a kind of confusing bewilderment pain, because now you’re adhering to that aspect as if it has an aliveness to it.

My ego just wants to break the bewilderment. In other words, it’s experiencing it and yet, at the same time, it acts like it can break it, it can go – pop – and it can break it, and thereby reveal the inner flow dynamic. I mean that’s the latent intentionality behind it all. And, in doing so, it would be exposing a predestined will, and its potentiality, striving as a dynamic to surface.

As I seek to find a means that is appropriate, that’s when I realize the limitation. In a consciousness where the inner and the outer are one, the beginning and end the same, above and below come together, there is this past journey that lies in-between. The timing to how directly the veils are to be penetrated resides outside of my personal prerogatives. I must be careful to touch without leaving traces, to be able to exist without leaving a shadow, because I have no right to act as if I know the timing, unequivocally.

Or, to put it another way, too blatant an awakening subjects manifestation in more than it is able to handle. A soul in a human body, although connected, intertwined, and inseparable from the world soul essence, must play a role as if separate, which is designed by the inner will behind everything that exists. This role requires the little self to keep stepping out of the way, so that the big self is there for those with eyes to see and ears to hear. What the little self would like to say is confusing because of an ego which gets in the way.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Ego Need

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John: My dream dealt with similar themes as yours (see The Dance of Life), but instead of it being a literal dream, it was more a repetition of images that had a simplistic nature about them.

The simple images were ones that felt controllable in terms of how I would like to see them unfold, yet at the same time they felt incomplete. I was always getting a barrage of images that had more going on in them – they were multidimensional – and they kept me off balance.

The simple images had to do with my personal well being, and making choices; they felt good. The more complex ones led to a greater outcome – they actually took into account the past, present, and future of Creation all at the same time. They are more about the core of things than the details of things.

What I’m saying is that if I’m allowed to shape the outcome (of the simple images) so that they make sense to me, in order to keep from confusing and complicating my life, that’s when I fail to appreciate the fullness of existence, and I remain unaware of what is unfolding.

Said another way, I’m only looking at what I want to look at, instead of seeing all that is going on. I’m not allowing other aspects to have their importance. I’m trying to steer things according to what I want and think feels right.

The more complex images have all kinds of possibilities going on simultaneously. I haven’t filtered them by my personal choices. These images have complexity and combinations that aren’t defining or screening things out – they take everything into account and portray life more as it actually is.

So the images that portray what I want to believe or see are personally chosen by me, and are limited by the veils of my own defense mechanisms. Those veils allow me to feel safer, more protected, less confused, and more at ease with everything, but I’m giving up the big picture. In doing so, I lose the ability to function on other levels, i.e., I’m not able to see the signs of God (so to speak) that provide me with information about these other levels and the whole, simultaneously.

If I limit myself to my own perspective, it’s like drinking my own Kool-Aid – I’ll never really know what’s going on. It’s drinking from a cup that’s full of myself. To expand out of myself, and to access these other levels, is to accept the flow in all of life, a flow that leads to a greater perception of the whole.

A human being isn’t able to know what’s going on when they’re caught in personal perspectives, because those perspectives are just images that we shape to fit our expectations – they stifle the natural processes of life.

Our veils can only be removed when we accept everything in life. The world is like a great painting – the surface may seem flat, yet there is a much larger experience available to us when we explore the hidden depths within.

When we only see what we want to see, we deafen ourselves to the call of the greater process in which we exist. We foolishly do this because we don’t have a real understanding of our wholeness. If we did, we could push right through the veils and begin to drop the defense mechanisms and personal barriers that we think are so important.

This was a hard dream to write up.

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Jeane: In my dreams last night, the impression I have is that I am trying to find something that will complete something else, and it is a struggle.

At one point I have a ticket, or something rectangular – it could even be money. Then I have something circular, and I’m looking for the piece that completes it. 

Somebody is constructing something. I’m annoyed with them. Part of my struggle has to do with shapes, and trying to complete the building of something.

There’s a young masculine energy that might be getting in the way, and that’s why I’m annoyed, but I can’t pull out the details. I was working pretty hard at it.

John: The compelling energetic of the dreaming last night focused on trying to cause something to come into cohesion, or balance.

What you are doing is looking at some limiting barrier, inside, and trying to bring that into alignment. This type of dynamic gets triggered when a person goes through sadness or hurt, or experiences an aching heart, compared with a happier feeling of soaring.

In other words, it’s the feeling of great relief or of a breakthrough. It’s reaching a state of peace, happiness, or joy, when earlier the feeling may have been a quality of sadness, or an aching heart. Between these two states there is the search for the missing pieces, which could manifest as to trying to find something, or to break through a barrier or veil, or to bridge a gap that lies in the way.

If you don’t experience the aching heart (to find the missing piece), or if you don’t have the contrast with something exhilarating and joyful, then you don’t have both polarities to work with. One polarity is an up energy and the other polarity is a down energy (the aching heart). If you don’t go in both directions, or take into account both degrees, then you won’t have a dream like you had last night where you are trying to resolve the difference, so that the two aspects can come together.

This is how veils, or barriers, are transcended in life. The depth and the height are brought together, and the inner and the outer are brought together. By reaching an inner depth, one can then reach the height.

It can almost get to the point where it’s hard to tell which is which. This is the process whereby life is nurtured. To learn to live in this zone – to be able to recognize inside oneself the wisdom of those two polarities – and to live in a zone that pulls them together into wholeness… that’s a human being who connects to everything in life.

That’s what it is all about. That’s what is required. It can only happen through the human – we are designed to process in this way. So this is exactly how we’re meant to live in the human body, rather than spending our time figuring out how to either project or protect our own self-identity.

It’s a state of freedom, really, where we can flow freely. After a certain point of maturity, we can stop letting ourselves get smashed in the depths – the aching heart, or despair, anger, or sadness – of whatever our predilection is, which is just a symptom of us being in a contracted state and shut down.

It’s good if we don’t have to do that. But if we do, then we tend also to the opposite extreme, which isn’t a whole lot different, because that sets us up for a fall. When we soar to these unbelievable heights in terms of a sense of wonderfulness, without the other state pulled together and brought into the in-between, then there’s an imbalance in either direction. Either polarity is a flipside of the same coin.

It’s not a whole lot different when everything is working out wonderfully and you’re riding the wave of that, compared to when everything is all compressed and you’re shut down and in contraction. Technically speaking, those two states are simply thresholds of extremes that are flip sides of each other – the polarities of existence.

The veils all fall away when you bring yourself to face a challenge or overcome what lies in between. When you feel how to do that – and the feeling of how to do that is the actual carrying forth of that energetic – you can penetrate the veils and come that much closer to the truth of things.

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