Compromising the Access

tondals-vision-hieronymus-boschIn this very dark dream image, John faces what looks to be certain death a number of times, yet in each instance he finds himself escaping at the last minute, as if an unseen hand were protecting him. And so it is when we align our purpose to the purpose of creation – it is like a grace can begin to flow with us. Still, as this imagery shows, we all can be guilty of warping higher energies when we try to also hang on to our planetary attachments. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In the meditation dream, the scenario I’m in has already been affected. The energetic stages are on the verge of portraying the inner energetic unfoldment as being enough to affect the outer appearance – and then I forget the rest.

I’m told how it can be, even though I don’t do it that way, I’m told how it can be. In other words, I’m able to see how it is possible to connect with an inner essence from which everything that is in the outer resonates, and thus I am able to understand the only thing that is real and place my attention there.

That’s a good way of saying it, providing the energy only works one direction, from inner into outer. But something in the outer rises up to the inner, as well, and so if there’s an imbalance in how it is that you are taking it in, then you create a perversion on the inner level, in terms of what you’re doing, in terms of how you’re taking it in in the outer – if it’s off a little bit, the consequences of that have a whole other visualization on the inner. That’s established in this dream.

I’m a prisoner along with others. The prison camp is protected or surrounded, it’s maintained, with electric and barbed wire, and it’s so well done that no one can escape. And everyone who is taken prisoner here, gets exterminated. In other words, you go to a gas chamber or injected with some sort of thing that just knocks you out or whatever.

This is a fate that I can sense isn’t good. I can sense that I can’t be held captive here. So I move away from others who are just kind of like accepting their fate, maybe, because there’s no answer if one just sits in the malaise of it all, and I find this little room in which I see that there is something that drops beneath the floor, and the barbed wire and whatnot goes above the floor, above this area.

And so I’m able to crawl between the wires and then crawl outward to a sidewall and find a space that I can break loose, and move from there into the corridor. In other words, I’m still in the prison camp, but then there is an outer corridor and then there’s another thing that’s less guarded that one can then after transcending to that area can then escape completely.

That spot is more visible than I realized and I’m looking around and I can realize that I can’t be running out in the open trying to get away. So I try to lay there thinking that I’ll wait until night, but it’s not well hidden, and a guard vehicle, making its rounds, sees me.

So I’m rounded up and I’m put into a paddy wagon in which I expect that I’ll be immediately killed along with others who are in there. In other words, I would have lived a little bit longer in the concentration area, but now that I’ve done what I’ve done, the jig is even more up.

And then at some point, one of the guards that’s basically assigning termination papers, hands a satchel to me with a bunch of papers, that indicates that I and three others are to be exempted for life. In other words, we’re not going to be put to death but we’re exempted for life, whatever that means.

And in the papers I am referred to as Golden Rule. But, as circumstances would have it, that was just one guard or one person that did that, and the other guards that just do the menial activities, they do not know what this is about.

So, as I’m held in detention, awaiting whatever that fate would be, and now it’s kind of a different detention in which everything’s speeded up, because I think now we’re about to be executed more quickly.

This time there’s another kind of escape, where a woman is able to slip out somehow and she slips into like a creek and she’s going to swim to the other side and on the other side is kind of a wilderness area or something where she could hide and be free perhaps. But she doesn’t make it.

She and another one get caught and examples are made of them as they are drowned in front of us. So, off we go, the rest of us, to an extermination chamber, and these others just pretty much seem to be accepting their fate, but again I somehow slip a little bit off to one side and hide within the confines of this extermination chamber.

And I find myself hiding near a broken down kind of hutch or something, it’s not really a building, and I get spotted again. But I have these papers that no one seems to recognize or that didn’t seem to keep me from going into this extermination area.

I show the papers and they laugh. And the guard that refuses to acknowledge my detention papers fumbles around to try to find I guess a needle to inject me, that would knock me out or something. But then he just kind of laughs because the decision is made to let the dogs tear me to pieces.

Suddenly a supervisor arrives and he is familiar with my story of being exempted, but I can’t find the papers now to prove it because all of that got misconstrued as this guy whacked things around looking for a needle to inject me, and repudiated what I was offering. But the story is familiar to this guy and he’s heard of me.

And I know that when I was handed this that I had been saved or selected by a Mrs. Roush, and so that’s familiar enough to him that I get directed off to one side. Like I say, there was four of us that were exempted and I do not know any of these others and they all have strange names and they were exempted to go, not to Mrs. Roush but to some other direction apparently, but I don’t know anything about that.

I find myself going to where what appears to be a picture on a wall, but it’s a picture that’s alive. And from this picture Mrs. Roush sticks her hands out. She’s like a middle aged, elderly lady and I put my hands in hers and it’s like a bond that’s really warm and feels wonderful.

But what I see behind her looks very strange. It’s like a stable of ghoulish-looking guys who look deprivated and weak as if I’m in some other kind of perversion. I wake up as Mrs. Roush says to me, as she holds my hands in her warm and inviting hands, “Oh you are so good, Golden Rule.”

So in this dream I carry within a sense of freedom and a knowingness that stays with me in the most despairing circumstances. And in holding something inside like this, it keeps me free of the outer reflections that prevail to a certain degree, which I see wherever I look outwardly, because I know deep within that I am okay, and spared, or going to find a way out from whatever this is that exists.

I know that I’m somehow or another able to let go of it, or be away from it. The reason doesn’t seem to have anything to do with any concepts I might have, or maybe it does? Because I seem to be spared because of a kundalini energy I carry that corresponds somehow to a state that is created in this other kind of world.

All I’m able to see is that somehow my inner development has taken me to this stage of not physically dying or, in other words, not really letting go of something in the physical. In other words still holding on to something. So I’m in this perpetual kundalini on an inner purgatory. I do not know what to make of this except that this must somehow correspond to a way I am still carrying myself in a deeper essence of my being.

The overall impression of the dreams are suggesting that the inner access I have is compromised because my attention is still correlated to a deprived way of being that I’m carrying into the inner.

What that looks like from within is what the second dream portrays. In other words, what I am in the outer has a certain capability in terms of the direness of the outer, but how it is that I am yet conducting myself is still holding onto what is seen on the inner as a deprived condition.

What is made known to me is that it is this way because of what I am not letting go of.  From the inner way of looking at it, the image is one of having subrogated the kundalini energy into an energetic effect in which, on an inner level, I have created something perverse.

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