Tag: inner and outer life

Taking in the Essence

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In today’s dream, Jeane appears to others, i.e., the view from the outer, as a kidnapper. But in understanding that she is all the characters in her dream, we can interpret her twirling as a process of deepening her connection to an inner essence. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I dreamed a lot last night, and it felt like one long, continuous dream that kept shifting. I mostly remember segments of it. It started out like I was male and I was like some kind of a robber who kind of went into a building and went upstairs and took charge.

The main thing I took charge of was this woman who was twirling. Well, everybody thinks I capture her and I’m taking her hostage or something. What I do is when I go up and I twirl with her, I diminish the arc of her twirling some, and absorb it, so that maybe my arc of twirling becomes larger and hers becomes smaller, and then take her away from there.

Everybody thinks like I’m kidnapping her. What they don’t realize actually is that her arc aura is actually larger than mine, and she’s actually my sister, and maybe she’s actually even the head robber, so I want to make her look less visible. I do that by kind of absorbing this a bit. And then everybody thinks I’ve kidnapped her, or I’m in charge or something, so this hides her.

John: What you’re doing is you’re discovering how to take and look at the inner essence of something, and take it in. In taking in this inner essence – that which is captured as a type of twirling, that has to do with an arc aura or something that exudes out – this is something that takes and permeates out into everything.

In fact, it’s at the epicenter of all that exists. And so when you become trained to be able to take this sort of thing in, this is different than how everything is seen in the outer. Whenever you’re taking something in, absorbing something into your being, if it were an outer reflection of something, or an outer trait or quality, not taking in would actually be affecting that image.

In other words, you would be diminishing that image. So that is how everyone tends to see this because they’re accustomed to relating to the activity having an outer consequence. So if you are taking from the outer activity, you are diminishing that.

Well, the meaning of the dream is to show you that when you relate to things in an outer capacity way, you’re diminishing yourself, and when you relate to something in an inner way you’re enhancing who you are.

However, in the eyes of others who observe what is going on, because they only see this as something that occurs by appropriation in an outer context way, they have to see this and recognize this in terms of how that is as a pattern of outer seeking inner, which you never reach, because they see that as something that diminishes. So, because they can only see it in that way, they see you as diminishing. They see what they think is you in terms of what you’re doing as something that is in keeping with how they see this working in life, and that is that you’re diminishing the energetic

But because you’re drawing from the inner essence of it, and that inner essence is permeated and is located in everything and lies behind the reflections, to take that sort of thing on is only enhancing and bringing out even more so, that inner essence, which is an essence that in its truest nature comes across – to a person who can only see in an outer way – it comes across as something that they can’t see in its hiddenness.

What you’re kind of actually doing is, is you kind of know that you have to find the inner essence of something and take that on. But you’re not quite there yet, and so what you’re taking on is some reflection and some inner essence. The fact that you are taking some reflection on, those who are looking and observing can see that something is being diminished, but what you’re doing is you’re actually enhancing your own growth because this is part of the process where you absorb the reflections as you access the essence.

And as a consequence you get to the point where the essence becomes so hidden and attenuated as a value, that on a subtle level that is what you’re coming in direct contact with.

And this is exactly how dreams work. To begin with, dreams can appear to the person at the very beginning as something that has to do with ordinary events that are happening outside of themselves, and so they try to look at it in a trite context.

And then dreams start to reveal, as you recognize that everything in a dream is you, you come to recognize that the dream is depicting shadow dynamics and such by which you’re consumed. And so you come to see those shadow dynamics and then try to figure out how to let go of those in relationship to your higher self.

When you access your higher self you start to come to grips with a natural knowingness that exists there and you try to flow with that. And then ultimately you get to a point where you live, or resonate, that essence and know that everything around you is reflective from that essence.

And so you are not affected by the reflections, which means in a sense you kind of accept or absorb them, as an aspect of taking in the essence more deeply. Finally the essence gets to a point where, if you were talking in terms of dreams, where it is so subtle that most people who dream aren’t able to have such dreams.

And even if they have advanced themselves to the point where they should be having those kinds of dreams, the subtleness of those dreams makes it very, very difficult for them to access, reach, and pull out. And thus what has happened is that they have gotten to the point where there is the secret of secrets in terms of a hiddenness, that’s in the essence, that they can’t quite access.

And what is holding them back is the degree to which they are still affected by the outer, as if the outer still has some sort of sway in an outer capacity instead of in an inner essence mannerism that takes and is behind all that there is.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Taking in the Essence

The Soul Element

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In John’s meditation and dreams, the role of the soul is explored, as it tries to manage the inner life in relation to the physical experience.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: What I noticed from my dream, is that the soul does not know how to relate to the outer conditions of things. The soul sits in a state where everything is okay, and so if there’s something haywire in the outer, and that’s what’s being impressed in the direction of the soul, the soul has to figure out how to accommodate that.

And that is kind of a strange thing for the soul to do, because the soul doesn’t relate to that. The soul relates more to the whole, and yet it finds itself having to accommodate something that doesn’t quite twang right. And the thing that’s missing, is the soul is being required to make work something that’s outside of the equation of where it is at.

In other words, the reflections happen around the flow from the soul, but the soul is separate from those matters that can be described or imaged. The soul is free from all of that, and yet, if something that because the soul seems to be compelled to have to hold its relationship to the physical, in other words, you’re in the physical there’s an element of an aliveness in the physical to which the soul is the vital essence, if what is going on in the physical has to be dealt with by the soul, the soul doesn’t know how to really relate to that other than by trying to take and be in some sort of coping way.

And there’s a sadness in this coping way because it’s displaced from the greater orientation that it can have. Now, where this makes things especially difficult is if you have caught up with this greater awareness of how things are, in terms of the way that unfolds, if you’ve connected with that, and then you find yourself slipping back into trying to establish the chemistry around you of something like that, that is when you will find that if you are true to yourself, you can’t make those elements, those images, you can’t make them real in a touching way.

I guess that’s why it’s said that when you go to a certain point inside yourself to let go of that and try to go back out into the outer, it just doesn’t work anymore. The images and the mannerisms that have fed you before in the outer, just don’t do their thing anymore, because you know better.

In my dreams last night I had to experience the ordeal of this sort of thing, and so I did it straight away as an aspect of meditation. As I’m sitting in the meditation, in kind of an absent state, where something just kind of comes in where there’s generally a meaningful inner effect, in other words, that evolves, I am confronted with the physical result that I have to adjust to in order to not feel afflicted, because it is afflicting me.

It’s kind of like when you sit to meditate and you’re fidgeting and you can’t stop fidgeting or you can’t stop the thinking then you are afflicted by that which is happening around you, and that kind of keeps you in that state of a trance, or way of being off. And so that is the veil, and you’re held by that veil – in that degree you feel off.

I remember dreams when I would have stomach acid and I’d incorporate that stomach acid into a quality that told me something in terms of the dream. In this particular case, in terms of how I was sitting or something, I developed a huge pain and I incorporated that pain into it, in order to try to make it work, but I couldn’t make it work because that pain was in the way.

And that’s how I came to realize what the soul has to put up with when it has these kinds of peculiar impositions that are placed upon it that the soul generally just doesn’t know how to relate to because it takes into account the big picture. It takes into account the wholeness.

Essentially the scenario is, as I mentioned, I went somewhere and wherever it was that I went I had to try to contend with, on this side of things, a physical pain, and this was very confusing because the soul doesn’t design, in its infiniteness, some sort of pain. And to the denser, lower self, whatever you’re going through has a fatalistic, shallow, and just basically it can lead to a sadness, can lead to all kinds of things coming through the senses, because you don’t have the linkage you need.

And the soul, because it’s always situated in an overallness, the soul consciousness has to accept and absorb these outward deviations. So to accept those circumstances, whatever they might be in the outer, the blend between the two, the struggle between the two, can have you courageously making a stand as if this is how you’re meant to be. But what’s needed is just this noble focus that adheres to what is deemed true to the big picture wholeness it is in. That’s what you need to have, not the preoccupations on the little things.

The deeper meaning is, because the meditation took me outside of my physical senses to a place where lower self emotional activity is gone, and if it were to remain it would be confusing, because to remain in kind of a lower self, lower level, physical level way of orientation, it’s always some sort of strife, whether you identify it or not, whether you look at it or not, you still feel it.

So the inner response is to simply accept what is meted out, as if it is an intended aspect of the wholeness, and the wholeness as designed.

By taking and knowing how the soul is constantly trying to find the orientation of, as above so below, that’s where I know that the soul is not able to reconcile consciously a physical limitation. It has to factor that into the greater beingness, as if it’s part of what is designed to be. Because the soul doesn’t have this lower-self whimpering, or futility, and nature of the humanistic aspect to have to deal with some imbedded reaction, or defense mechanism, that one has. It doesn’t do that. In fact, it isn’t even possible for the soul to do that. The soul is not a defense mechanism in which limitations such as this even exist.

A soul is part of a wholeness that doesn’t become shallow just to convenience the personal level. The soul has to sit in this overall infiniteness, and it is us that tries to make that come across like that and be different. The soul never lives itself, or sees itself, or experiences anything, on the basis of reflections because they aren’t real, only the lower self does that.

That is the meditation dream. I had a lot of pain. What was interesting is I came right out of it, it was all psychosomatic to create the scenarios so that I could see those.

When I went to bed I continued dreaming about being out of place with where I am meant to be. Every image was either embarrassing, disgusting, sad, or demoralized.

For example, in one scenario I’m kind of in this large reception area room that’s like full of high school students that I don’t know anybody and it’s like maybe a type of graduation party and they are jockeying and carrying on and there’s all this commotion.

But I don’t relate to anyone and not only that I am the only one there who isn’t dressed, wandering around naked, and it’s an embarrassing and disgusting situation, but nobody seems to pay any attention to it except the emcee that are looking out for the fact that this party exists and so maybe they’re the grownups in the group. And they’re a little embarrassed by it.

And then this progresses to the point where when it’s time to sit down or something I can’t even find a seat, which doesn’t belong to someone else, without me, in other words, pushing myself into where I don’t belong. And wherever I look I see people I do not know and cannot relate to.

And from there I proceed out onto a boat as if this is kind of a recreation for the whole gathering, and I am just as out of place there. I don’t know what it is I’m trying to accomplish there, and even at one point I turn to a person who is sitting next to me and I ask him if what I’m doing is taking away from the experience, or lowering the energetic for him.

And he just looks at me, and as he pauses to glance within I can see that he knows what I mean. To me it is so obvious I would have expected a person to be able to get it straightaway, but people just don’t realize that everything that they find themselves trying to do for the sake of thinking that this is what it’s about in terms of trying to enjoy, and this is a reception, a party, and all of that in relationship to some event of some sort, and yet everything that is done to orchestrate all of that in the outer is completely flat. It has to have that inner aliveness to give it a quality.

There comes a time when I realize that I must go back to get my clothes. In other words, I had gone out on this boat excursion and still seem to apparently have my jacket or clothes or something that were left behind maybe on a boat near the docks or something. And so I actually jump in the water and try to swim back there but everything is discombobulated. I don’t recognize a single thing.

It’s as if the high school graduation party and reception and all of that and whatever the extracurricular have been, which was the boat scene, has all ended and things have shifted back into a whole different look. Without that projection, there’s a whole different look.

So there isn’t a person around that I can even relate to as even that innocent or bizarre kind of high school vibration even. So I haven’t the foggiest idea where the place is even where I put my clothes, and so in one of the busier kind of houseboats or something that’s floating out there, which has a whole different scene that’s emerged there, I seem to ask out of complete confusion because I have nowhere to know how to recreate what that’s supposed to be like because all of the outer images are different, I ask this person and sure enough they, in changing the scene, moved a whole bunch of clothes aside rather than throw them out. And you would have thought maybe they could have just as easily thrown them out because they were reshaping it for whatever it is that is their outer scene. And it’s at that time that I realize that I’m not the only one trying to experience that which no longer exists or makes any sense.

What is going on is that I looked up the place where my friend was moving, and I was stunned. Remember I communicated how that left me just really strange? Energetically it hit me as off. I didn’t like the neighborhood. I felt like a person who could no longer relate anymore to that which is needed, and so in the dream… the meaning of the dream is my new dream has me delving into an energetic, sinking feeling that came over me yesterday.

What I learn from the meditation dream is that without the inner awareness I wallow in the outer. When I wallow in the outer, the soul gets confused because it doesn’t relate that way. The soul isn’t necessarily confused, the soul is maintaining how it is that it sees things in the overall.

And then this other is thrown at the soul and that leads to a huge gap, which results in confusion. There’s a reason why one experiences it like this and why one has these experiences is when you notice that the outer is like this, it’s to help you come to grips with the fact that your attention needs to be even clearer in terms of sustaining and maintaining the soulfulness, because that’s what when you have the correspondence and can find the correspondence of the inner into the outer, that’s what is alive. Until this dream I hadn’t realized just how discombobulating it is to be disconnected from the inner.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Soul Element

Changing the Signal

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John: In yesterday’s dreams (see Structural Integrity), I was shown that the old way of doing things – human history and culture – pushes a certain raw energy over everything in its path, seen in the image of the cattle herd. So when I’m going against the grain, against the herd by choosing a spiritual view of life, in order for it to be effective I have to have an inflection from within – a radiation – of my intentions.

Only such a radiation, or intention, originating in my inner self and connected to the whole of the universe, can cause an epiphany, or realization, that can allow the flow of raw energy to shift. The cattle drive cannot be stopped just by wishing or hoping, only an energetic signal, which directs the cattle to behave in a different way, can effect a real change.

That’s why it is said in spiritual pursuits that one must hold within them the energy of the change they want to see. Then the sensitivities of others can pick up that signal, whether consciously or unconsciously, and be changed by it. That’s what it means to be in service to god and creation – to radiate what they are, and what we are within them, to the things around us.

The movement of a herd mentality, again representing human culture, has lost its inner connection and moves only by the signals and energy of the surface aspects – TV, Internet, news, advertising, etc. But no one of us can run headlong into it on our own, unless we have the potent energy of our own inner connections to creation.

So, those dreams were something of an introduction. Everything doesn’t get sorted out in a few short dreams or in one night of dreaming. Since coming to Las Vegas, I’ve started to realize that I’m experiencing myself completely in an awkward state and condition, both in dealing with the crazy energy of this city externally, as well as the effect that energy is having on my inner life and balance.

I find myself feeling irritated and upset during the day, and in my dream images I have the same sense of disorientation, which my dreams are trying to help give me insight into and show me the way to rebalance myself in this new environment.

A person could easily be swept away by what goes on in Las Vegas, or anywhere in the culture, so it must be an inner choice to maintain the connections that have already been established through spiritual work.

I have to admit that the whole scenario of what I went through in my dreams felt pretty dramatic, but I know there was a lot going on in terms of an attempt to align, and to adjust, and to reach to something inside that could handle all of this. At first blush the external world of Las Vegas seems overwhelming.

Even in my sleep I was pondering, as I would drift closer to waking or fade back into sleep, if this was a type of raw energy, or a dark energy behind which could be an amazing thing. To find out, one has to, at some point, face all of this in order to get through and see what might be possible.

This caused me to ponder the idea, considering that Las Vegas is the brightest place on earth when viewed from space, “Am I trying to hold together something that is completely dispersed?” Because what I notice is that people seem to have no sensation as they walk around. They don’t know how to flow. I have to get out of their way because they fumble about as if they’re in a trance.

They’ll bump into you! It’s not just that everything is bizarre and over the top, there’s also a tremendous sense of disorientation in terms of how people seem to be. For us to be able to maintain our inner lives in this environment requires us to stay conscious – to not sleep walk within the circus – and to regain our inner balance when we are challenged by the sweep of raw, unfocused energy.