Learning to Be Natural

9222951_sWe trust that the sun will rise tomorrow, or that the earth will rotate, we trust there will be seasons again, and we trust that the planet won’t suddenly fall through space. We trust these things, and we have no control over them. But somehow we don’t trust the intelligence that keeps those things doing what they do, to play a part in the unfolding of our lives. Somehow, we are the best judge of that. To be in a state of oneness, or in the flow of life, means to put our own lives into the trust of the universe. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my dreaming I start off showing, and revealing, that in the meditation in the unfoldment that one is able to come to grips with inside of themselves, that I am gaining an understanding of something in some capacity. And I’m inclined to view this capacity as somewhat of an edge, and even see myself as having a freedom in terms of this edge.

How it is able to work is yet a whole other thing, and this is what I dream about. And that’s how I know that this has to do with an unfoldment that is based upon staying and keeping to the natural, not trying to know every little nuance and mannerism such in life – as if that’s possible, and that that is going to give one the answer. Because there’s such a greater scope in terms of the way everything is intertwined and unfolding that you can catch up with what is natural, but you can’t pin it down.

To start off with, in my meditation dream, I notice that I am able to work with an energetic expansiveness. And the more I am able to take on and ground the expansive innerness, the more stable and composed I am able to be in manifestation. In other words, just grounding it. In other words, this is actually a part of figuring out how to be natural, but I don’t see it that way. I’m still trying to figure it out and control it.

So as I master the whole and its corresponding counterbalance in the physical, well then what happens is I develop an awakened shift. I come in touch with the innerness as kind of an awakened consciousness. What is going on is I am able to relate to the inner, and its corresponding outer reflections in manifestation, with a greater and greater ease. In other words, learning how to be natural in that, and I am able to notice that each aspect in the outer, as it comes before me, and I am able to slingshot to the inner flow which is coming into manifestation.

I’m able to tweak the external situations, by way of feeling the inner flow, and thereby able to notice and carry an ease that is able to relate to the inner flow as a greater wholeness. The net effect of an awakened inner/outer, or outer/inner, awareness is that I am able to shift specific outer reflections with ease. Instead of being veiled by a domain of reflections, I come instead into a greater inner light body beingness. I am more and more balanced in taking the outer reflections to the inner flow in a quicker and quicker way.

In other words, as one gains more of the access to the inner, you don’t get caught up and held in trance by the outer as much. What I’m doing is trying to define the systems if one can capture it. Consequently, I now see that the reflective capacities in manifestation are inextricably intertwined to the inner flow of life.

As a side note, I am becoming more and more able to take the effect of an outer reflection and, in seeing through it, put my finger so to speak more and more directly upon the inner places therein. Now one does this not with their mind; they do this with their naturalness.

And the meaning is, I’m describing this process as an awakening to an intertwined inner aliveness. The awakening is normally veiled by reflective indulgences; in order to be real, the reflective indulgences need the awakening of an inner intertwined alignment – and that’s what makes them alive, or meaningful.

So basically, if you looked at this in the large expanse again, this aliveness works in two ways. Basically they’re one in the same, but it can kind of be said as in two ways, and it is imaged or depicted by the statement: light coming down to touch light, as if light is an access and a knowingness, and light rising up to touch light, which is something in creation or manifestation. Based upon how it is reflecting, one is able to see something more in that, so that’s like a light rising up to touch light – in terms of how things happen in manifestation.

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A Search For What Is Real

illusion-09Here is the ancient struggle: to let go of the material, physical world we find ourselves in, and embrace the greater truth of what is unseen. Why is this important? Because the unseen, energetic realms are the causing realms. Everything happens there first and only becomes manifest in the physical later. That’s why the world we see is an illusion. To connect to what is real requires connecting to the energies that cause manifestation. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my dream I have like a paradox inside, in that almost the reoccurring part from previous dreams is that I’ve come to know that whenever something appears to exist, and of course appearances in terms of what things are that one draws opinions about and such, they exist because of the world of mind and senses – because your awareness in the heart is not like that. It’s a greater spaciousness; it doesn’t have time for the nits and grits.

So the tendency then, because the fact that you’re functioning with senses and mind, that you’re always looking at something that is fairly loud in its mannerism and its appearance as a reflective condition. And so what I’m kind of being told over and over again is, that which is most apparent and appears to have a loudness, or a quality, or a projection about it, is but an illusion.

So in the dream, I’m struggling to identify, or to find from everything that I can perceive in the outer with my senses and my mind, I’m trying to discover through all of that what is real. I can’t seem to do it because I am finding myself conditioned to believe that that which comes across in the most apparent way has got to be what is real.

I mean that is what I have to contend with, and what I have to live. And I keep trying to make that make sense – but I can’t do it because the dream keeps indicating the opposite is closer to the truth: that which is apparent is not what it appears.

And when I try to make that seem like it is so, I’m not placing my attention then upon what is real, which can’t be seen. I guess this just goes to show that that which is real cannot be seen. Apparently it is like that because it exists as a nothing but nothingness.

I struggled in my meditation sleep over and over. I went back and forth trying to identify that which is real. And each time I was shown that the criteria I was using to identify myself was biased. In other words, it was looking at something in the outer. It was looking at something that you could portray as having a way of unfolding.

Thus, no matter how I tried I was unable to put my finger upon or, in other words, lay out or present or identify what is real. Which brought up the recognition inside that the saying, “take one step back from yourself to discover what is real,” seems apropos.

Because I was not able to do that, in other words take a step back, I experienced a kind of self-indulgent night of going from image to image futilely, never reaching what I was truly looking for. Or, in other words, it just didn’t come to a point of doing justice with however it was that I was trying to do justice with that which I considered to be more real.

I seem to have the need to pronounce, in other words, to pronounce or announce for others so that they too could touch, see, and admire such an energetic unfoldment. Instead, I came to know over and over again that I was lost in spiritual ideas founded in substance. 

In other words, I would have those appearances that I was trying to make something out of, and I was using the outer substance of the senses even though it was subtle, and even a little bit more expansive than usual, to try to make all of that make sense.

That’s why it’s kind of a spiritual illusion because you’re off the ground and you seem to think you have a sense that’s a little more in depth or something, but it is still based upon remnants of fragmentation associated with the way things work in the outer.

So to pick up my energy and extract myself from the pain of such indulgences, I am having to throw out everything that I believe in that supports this sort of thing thing by way of association. In other words, that’s the senses and the mind that draw conclusions in the outer. And then those conclusions that I’m drawing I have to throw those out because that is what is wrong.

The outer is just another state. It’s neither here nor there. But the conclusions I draw about it, that’s what is wrong. And because I struggle to truly let go all of the visualizations, and I’m not doing that, and yet somehow I’m taking whatever it is that’s perceptible and not getting beyond that which is perceptible, the result is I find myself reverbing in the dream.

In other words, going back and forth and back and forth, which was the sense that you had and you experienced just the pressure. So to reverb is to engage in a type of… it’s like a tearing down on an inner level. When you overindulge and think in the outer you tend to lower your energy.

You can do it in the inner this way too, or that was the sensation when I woke up was I was struggling to make sense out of it and to remember it. This is when the dreamer is attempting to put their finger upon something and this sort of attempt only leads you to something that’s indicative to what isn’t.

And you come to know that because on an energetic level when this sort of voyeuring about inside goes away, and it doesn’t get removed readily because as you keep it up you have a momentum in terms of doing this inside, but if you drop it then you experience exhaustion, exhaustion from within, amazing, or at least a collapse of some sort.

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In the Maze

MazeIn this follow-up discussion to his dream yesterday (see The Lesser Octave), John ponders the absurdity of being caught in this in-between place, trying to navigate the realms of the outer world, while trying to listen to, and respond, to the inner levels and causes of life. On one level, we can’t truly know the truth of anything going on, yet we still need to respond and act out in the theater of life. It’s a fine line to have to walk as we develop our inner lives. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The bewildered conundrum of all of this is that I’m left in a state in which it’s awkward. There’s an awkwardness to it, because every little change changes the octave of something in the outer, and that goes on and on and on and on.

And yet I somehow know that you don’t have to be caught in this maze, where the constructs of things, of manifestation, vary in accordance with the level or degree of the energetic spin. And that when you aren’t able to hold a continuity of yourself together, in which you can be in despair one minute, and excited and totally overjoyed the next, that when you yo-yo around like that, with no proper equanimity in terms of holding on to everything that is, all the levels and such, too, being able to open up and yet accessing then from high to low or low to high or however you would say that, so that what is going on then gets to a point of a letting go that’s more than just a letting go of lower-self natures that are in the way, but it’s a letting go of everything that’s holding the construct of something in a particular state only, because you’re not including or have access to the other levels of yourself.

The awkwardness and bewilderment is feeling this, and knowing that you can wake up, you could look at something, and whatever it is that you look at it can have this whole devastational effect upon you, because you’re not taking into account something because of this other level that exists. You’re not able to know how to factor that in.

What’s really interesting is everything changes in the inner capacity way, but it doesn’t necessarily change in the outer simultaneously. And something can malinger almost as a delayed effect in the outer, or so it seems, as you develop an awareness of something on the inner where it has changed and taken on a greater speed, it doesn’t necessarily mean that that translates across through the levels.

And usually doesn’t because there always has to be this dense, dense, very raw energy, but maybe stupidity elements that run with that kind of energy, so that you don’t really catch up with the essence behind the raw energy.

It’s like there’s always going to be something like this going on, so on one level, you’re caught in a doingness – trying to change or alter or whatever, make a difference or however it is, then you become part of the problem. In other words, then you’re contending with the shifting states and mannerisms, you’re contending with that as if you have a right to interfere or meddle or try to bicycle around or figure out how it is that you situate in relationship to that.

So the dilemma that I’m experiencing is I pull out dreams now, but at the same time what I don’t pull out and don’t write up is this whole sense of how all of this is in a state of flux. And that my nature can’t help but come up with a certain conclusion or opinion about what is going on. But deep down I don’t even believe it, because deep down I know that that isn’t taking into account other things that I can sense and feel, that I’m not able to live, or have a process through, or reached manifestation yet, or however you would say that. 

In other words, the change is that it may be done, or something may be dead in terms of how it is able to continue to unfold. It’s dead even though it’s continuing to unfold in a way that isn’t supported by an inner essence that’s becoming louder and louder.

To be caught in this is like being in a whiplash, caught in a strange whiplash, that if you act upon anything as it appears to be in a schematic of the outer, you’re apt to get whiplashed because it’s not necessarily the case. It only appears to be the case, because certain things haven’t caught up yet in terms of the transitioning vibration.

And so it’s a state of bewilderment and bizarreness, because you can sense this, you can know that this is breaking down in terms of a new way or something. The old is going out, and yet you, in kind of a quality of human nature, trying to need to know can’t know what that’s going to turn into and be, and that can be so frustrating because you can’t protect yourself. You can’t streamline yourself to be in place for what is to unfold. You can’t do any of that.

You can have a sense of it, but then what can be happening in the outer isn’t according to that sense necessarily. And so it’s like a type of schizophrenia where you’re out of joint and out of sequence to the cadence, that is one way on an inner level, and yet still somehow maybe even reflecting slightly differently yet because that inner hasn’t fully caught up with this vibratory impact and effect. 

It’s kind of a horrible condition to be in and to sit in – and you don’t want to just sit in it. You want to move around, you want to do this, you want to do that, and anything that you do in manifestation, when you know that something else is unfolding, and you can sense it and feel it,m even though you do not have a full grasp of what that is going to look like.

It’s a world of such absurdity then. You stab yourself every time you take and make a motion because you’re not necessarily adhering to what is unfolding. Maybe that’s how one learns to adhere to what is unfolding on the inner, is by way of taking and going with the appearances that aren’t real, and thus you feel the despair in the heart, and the stabbing, and the condition of out of balance. And maybe that’s how you come to know what is meant to be in sequence, and what isn’t. But it’s so bizarre to have to go through that.

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