Posts Tagged ‘inner balance’

John: I just want to continue a bit on the thread we’ve been on, beginning with your dream, Updating the Past, and then my dream, The Need for Redemption. What both of these images are pointing to is a process in us that’s going deeper, toward vibrations held in us from our past. By touching these vibrations, we are given an opportunity to rebalance, heal, and rewrite the events that put them there originally.

Even if we don’t know exactly what moment in our history the vibrations represent, it’s an important process to understand because it requires bringing two parts, or two halves, together. It’s a type of reconciliation, where former antagonists lay down their differences and realize that they can’t move forward without each other.

This reconciliation is needed on many levels, whether between the masculine and feminine genders on this planet, the masculine and feminine aspects within each of us, or the parts of our own history that we bury and negate – we even need to bring those back into the fold, so to speak.

This reminds me that a teacher used to say that someone who is a bad person can sometimes reach more quickly to a depth within themselves. That’s because it’s easy to set the bad behavior aside when they don’t necessarily have any strong spiritual illusions that power it.

In other words, those who think they have an idea about how to change things, or have an effect in the world, often go around in circles because of their spiritual illusion, or their angelic nature – they have fixed themselves to see only one side of the issue. We can’t close ourselves off to the aspects that can bring wholeness.

But in my case, in terms of some type of historical conditioning, it’s as if I’m able to look at both sides of the equation. I’ve always been a bit like this. In fact, I often surprise people when I can sit down and describe how things can go haywire, even if the subject is not in my area of expertise. They wonder how I know, and I just say: “Well, to be a good businessman in today’s society, you have to have a certain degree of the criminal mind.” That way you can protect yourself, because those two aspects are somehow related.

With that in mind, in a roundabout sense, that’s how you (Jeane) and I are correlated: historically, our two clans were infamous for feuding. But actually, at the epicenter of a feud, there is often common ground. In other words, if you can sort out the reactivity (animosity), you can come to a point where there’s a meeting, energetically, and a balance can be regained.

It is said that, in the journey of the soul, those that you struggle with the most are often people whom you were “married” to in the past. In a given lifetime, that which you’re married to can be, if you knew the karma of your soul’s journey, something in which there’s a history of differentiation, or antagonism.

Somehow or other, those divergent aspects get pulled together, and it’s like bringing two halves of a whole back together, and it tends to create a lot of interesting change and growth. To bring two halves like that together, each of those halves have something to contend with within themselves.

At the depth of the feminine, there has to be the forgiveness. At the depth of the masculine, there has to be the letting go. The feminine forgiveness is going to be difficult because she will always have a certain confusion as to why things act up in the way they do because it won’t make sense to her. In other words, she won’t have the facts as to why they continue to go on.

At the threshold of the masculine, the degree to which something pushes him, or touches him, or attempts to direct him, he’ll have to accept that or else he’ll continue to stay in his own trance, which is a state of separation. That, too, is an interesting dance that’s brought to the situation.

It does seem that our dreaming is starting to now shift towards what lies ahead, almost as a preparatory state, because of our upcoming trip to Egypt. It’s like something inside is fast-forwarding, bringing through what we can catch up with, or recognize, or come to know in this place. But as long as we avoid these knowings, or don’t acknowledge them, they will remain dormant.  

So now, all of a sudden, in order to help us experience these hidden vibrations that are in places that we’ll soon be able to partake in, we almost need to have some flash memories come back.

In this regard, there can be an appreciation: in my case a letting go, in your case a forgiveness and acceptance of an overall responsibility. In my case letting go to a responsibility that I’m not fully aware of, having been on the other side of the equation (an honest business man), yet still in that culture. In other words, we are getting more subtle to pull all these energies back into cohesion.

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Jeane: In my dreams last night, the impression I have is that I am trying to find something that will complete something else, and it is a struggle.

At one point I have a ticket, or something rectangular – it could even be money. Then I have something circular, and I’m looking for the piece that completes it. 

Somebody is constructing something. I’m annoyed with them. Part of my struggle has to do with shapes, and trying to complete the building of something.

There’s a young masculine energy that might be getting in the way, and that’s why I’m annoyed, but I can’t pull out the details. I was working pretty hard at it.

John: The compelling energetic of the dreaming last night focused on trying to cause something to come into cohesion, or balance.

What you are doing is looking at some limiting barrier, inside, and trying to bring that into alignment. This type of dynamic gets triggered when a person goes through sadness or hurt, or experiences an aching heart, compared with a happier feeling of soaring.

In other words, it’s the feeling of great relief or of a breakthrough. It’s reaching a state of peace, happiness, or joy, when earlier the feeling may have been a quality of sadness, or an aching heart. Between these two states there is the search for the missing pieces, which could manifest as to trying to find something, or to break through a barrier or veil, or to bridge a gap that lies in the way.

If you don’t experience the aching heart (to find the missing piece), or if you don’t have the contrast with something exhilarating and joyful, then you don’t have both polarities to work with. One polarity is an up energy and the other polarity is a down energy (the aching heart). If you don’t go in both directions, or take into account both degrees, then you won’t have a dream like you had last night where you are trying to resolve the difference, so that the two aspects can come together.

This is how veils, or barriers, are transcended in life. The depth and the height are brought together, and the inner and the outer are brought together. By reaching an inner depth, one can then reach the height.

It can almost get to the point where it’s hard to tell which is which. This is the process whereby life is nurtured. To learn to live in this zone – to be able to recognize inside oneself the wisdom of those two polarities – and to live in a zone that pulls them together into wholeness… that’s a human being who connects to everything in life.

That’s what it is all about. That’s what is required. It can only happen through the human – we are designed to process in this way. So this is exactly how we’re meant to live in the human body, rather than spending our time figuring out how to either project or protect our own self-identity.

It’s a state of freedom, really, where we can flow freely. After a certain point of maturity, we can stop letting ourselves get smashed in the depths – the aching heart, or despair, anger, or sadness – of whatever our predilection is, which is just a symptom of us being in a contracted state and shut down.

It’s good if we don’t have to do that. But if we do, then we tend also to the opposite extreme, which isn’t a whole lot different, because that sets us up for a fall. When we soar to these unbelievable heights in terms of a sense of wonderfulness, without the other state pulled together and brought into the in-between, then there’s an imbalance in either direction. Either polarity is a flipside of the same coin.

It’s not a whole lot different when everything is working out wonderfully and you’re riding the wave of that, compared to when everything is all compressed and you’re shut down and in contraction. Technically speaking, those two states are simply thresholds of extremes that are flip sides of each other – the polarities of existence.

The veils all fall away when you bring yourself to face a challenge or overcome what lies in between. When you feel how to do that – and the feeling of how to do that is the actual carrying forth of that energetic – you can penetrate the veils and come that much closer to the truth of things.

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John: In this dream, I’m affected by everything in the environment and it slows me down. When we are affected by things in the dream environment (just as in the outer reality), we become what is known as being in a state of “amnesia.” It’s like a state of sleepwalking, where we are carried along by events but have no control over them.

The effect is that it slows us down. If we are always trying to manage the environment around us, meaning we think it should be this way or that, rather than flowing with it, we get bogged down in the details and lose our connection to the flow. In this imagery, I don’t have the spontaneity to know how to keep from being thrown around or affected by the influences that I encounter.

Said another way, everything outside of us has an effect, because everything has an energy to it. When we come in contact with that energy, we can either flow with it or we can react to it. It’s our reactions – the patterns of response that we accumulate over a lifetime of experience – that cause us to spin out of the flow.

You might say that what is outside us moves at a faster speed, because we are continually trying to catch up and regroup while it just moves on. This constant state of trying to catch up weighs us down, leaving us feeling worn out or even depressed.

Then it seems as if everything is too much for us – it’s too big to handle. But there is a way that we can maintain ourselves in the flow in terms of just going ahead and touching everything in life, and letting it touch us. The outer energetic is bigger and moves faster than we do, and it can take into account more things than we can. It’s important to understand that relationship and just let go within it.

Of course we can avoid it, or hide a little, but it will eventually catch up with us.

So, in the dream, I have figured out how I can contend with those energies that can easily overwhelm me and prevent me from doing what I’m supposed to be doing (in terms of how I’m living at that moment). So I have to shift my attention.

What I do is I shift my attention to being the type of person who is able to postpone this inevitable catching up. I do this by leaving fliers behind me as I go. These fliers say certain things that signify that I know something else is going on as I proceed through life. I’m also able to touch people, as if in touching them I can change the note just a bit so that the force doesn’t have as much speed or way with me.

I can stay ahead of it that way. There is a tension that exists when I look back or think about the condition that I’m in, but that tension seems to fall away if I put my attention upon leaving inflections behind and touching people. 

My observation is this: The imagery shows me in the outer world, but I’m observing myself from a higher place and can see that I’m unable to function on my own. I’m barely getting by, but I’m able to maintain because I let my energy clear the environment. I stay just ahead of the collective outer forces.

The meaning is: I’m being shown how I must be, within myself, to exist in the outer world.

The subsequent dream indicates that if I touch something in any way, even if it’s indirectly, I have an effect on it – something has been changed.

So, in this dream I have some tillable acreage. A neighbor has a lease on a large section of land that borders my property. He’s an expert farmer. Because he’s located next door, or has a direct connection to my property, he is allowed to exert an influence and effect over my outcome in terms of how I’m farming.

The meaning here is: We are all interconnected. To know that is to have an effect upon what transpires. 

This is another way of portraying the depth of the human heart, only in this case there seems to be an assumption on my part that I don’t know exactly what I’m doing (the other farmer is the expert, not me). So it shows me tending to rely on the judgment of another who has more insight.

I don’t seem to understand yet that I am he, and he is I. Perhaps I can get this understanding when I become “less than the dust at the teacher’s feet” as the saying goes. Or when I realize that my neighbor’s freedom begins where mine ends, in terms of the personal notion of things, as I come to see everything as being intertwined, interconnected, and I’m able to simultaneously touch and be touched.

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