Subject to Change

INNER01To be integrated, from the inner into the outer, requires that we hold our inner connection and location while we engage in the outer world. It doesn’t work for us to be fully engaged in only one or the other, the work is to engage in the outer with our inner location. That is the connection that allows the human to give the divine access into life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in my dream, it starts off where I’m in kind of a square box-like house that was constructed out of wood, but still kind of in its natural state. It hasn’t been varnished. It hasn’t been cured, at least not on the outer. In other words, it’s still oozing a moisture or a liquid or a stickiness that wood can have, you know, when it hasn’t been kiln-dried or cured. And that wetness, or whatever, is on the outside of the building. That’s how it is in its natural state. The wood stays kind of lighter in color while it’s like that, as well.

Inside the house, to begin with, I and my friend are okay with this. We’re not paying any attention to it. We just consider that it will naturally take care of itself. And if it were left just to us, we would let it naturally cure. But we have a boss who wants to speed the process along.

And my friend is sent outside with this drying device that kicks out kind of something that’s a little like a haze or a smoke or something. It’s probably got heat connected to it, and it’s supposed to quickly dry and cure the outer condition of this building. And my friend, he may not have his heart in it because he would have just normally let things be. He follows orders and when he is done, the outer building has turned from this light colored translucent natural wood that shimmers and draws to it a light, to a dark and burnt look.

It is an eyesore to look at, and even the inside is affected, although you don’t notice it if you don’t think about it, or if you’re not aware of what is going on in the outer. The darkness on the outside does crimp the freedom of flow on the inside, though. Like I say, this is not readily noticeable when you are inside the place, but when you step outside and look at the conditions you are under, that is when you realize that you’re subjected, that what you are inside of in terms of the outer effect, there are limitations that are affecting you.

And the meaning is that while inside, it is easy to be kind of out-of-sight and mind from what is going on around you or in the outer environment.

The inner, in order to have an overall effect in life, needs to recognize and work with the outer that is always subject to change, because both of them are a work in process. From within, if I just sit in the inner, I have the inclination to assume that what’s necessary will just naturally unfold. That can be kind of a spiritual illusion, you know, because you sit inside and you imagine what needs to be or something, or imagine how it is, which may not necessarily be how it is.

And in this dream, it’s kind of like once you get a whiff of something in terms of how it can be different on the inside, there can be a pressure placed upon you to try to speed things up, which means that you’re trying to quicken something in the outer.

The problem with that is you don’t know what you’re doing and you can compromise the situation. You can cause a naturalness to get lost and, as a result, the outer expressions, the outer unfoldment can impact what is possible inside.

In other words, the inside doesn’t operate and function. You don’t function from within in a vacuum. The outer and the inner have to come together. As long as you’re inside, you don’t readily realize this. You can reach a point where you let go of or you move away from and aren’t aware of the outer atmosphere.

In other words, the difference between what I’m dreaming and what you were dreaming is you took it first one way and then looked at how you could get lost that way, and then you took it the other way and realized how you can get lost that way.

In my particular case, I’m trying to be black-and-white about things. To stay inside is to have false impressions regarding what has happened, or is perpetrated in life, or upon the outer fabric of life.

The illusion of it all goes away when you take in both the outer and the inner. The adjustment that has to be made is shocking until you are able to look at both sides of the equation, and the more estranged you are in one direction or the other. In other words, it’s like this is an image that’s fairly estranged because inside, you know, unaware of what the outer appearance and condition was, I could be kind of out-of-sight and out-of-mind, kind of blanking it out.

And then when I looked at it on the outside, there’s no way I could accept my demeanor on the inside because the outer is darkened and I have to comport or pull both of those traits, those qualities – I have to be in balance with both.

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A Bit of a Shock

John: I had two short dreams.

In this first dream, I drive up to a large pull-up door. It’s a door that you could actually drive through when it’s open, but I stop in front of it. There’s something on the other side that’s colorful, that’s fascinating, that’s wonderful but, as far as I know, the door is closed to me.

Suddenly the attendant says, “Oh, what the heck.” I’m not supposed to be able to go inside, but he’s going to open the door so I can at least take a peek and see it for myself.

I’m standing just outside the door, but now that it’s open, all I see is a grayish mud. I’m told the colors on the roof are incredible, so I absentmindedly step inside to see them and I nearly fall down because the mud is too soft. My hand goes down and gets full of goo. It’s like a shock to my system.

The shock-like effect is because I’m not quite “getting” it. I never do get a glimpse of the beauty that’s being talked about. All I can do is hear about it. I can’t go through the door yet; the floor hasn’t firmed up enough.

This image is similar to the idea of being clear enough in terms of my own issues that I can look at others and see them for who they are, without any personal projection. This image I showing me that I’m still not there yet. What’s beautiful and colorful is still a bit out of reach.

In the next image, I’m lying in a bed against a window. It’s 10am and daylight outside, beyond the curtain. I peek out and see a person standing there, six inches from the window. I see a man’s back.

I don’t make out his entire outline because I’m groggy, I haven’t gotten up yet (it’s like I don’t want to create the contrast).

Then, all of a sudden, I feel like someone’s stepping through the window, like a person’s leg is coming in. My thought is to grab the leg and hold it so that it can’t be pulled back out.

But then I feel frozen, unable to move. I can’t lay there and grab the leg at the same time.

This scenario is creating the relationship between what’s on the outside and what’s on the inside. So again it’s like a shock and surprise. I can’t quite accomplish what I want to accomplish or see what I’m trying to see.

I’m not able to actually be in a neutral enough space within. I’m projecting biases around me and I’m finding myself comfortable being that way. As a consequence, that interferes with my letting go and being in the overallness, and I’m seeing that something isn’t quite possible.

So I can’t actually see the light (colors) but I can hear about it. It’s not quite soaking in, it isn’t quite firmed up yet, it’s still in process; I can’t step through the door.

I also can’t quite integrate what’s in the outer (of the window of illusion) and me in the bed. I can’t quite deal with that because they’re still two separate things to me, and to the degree to which I toy with that I’m apt to shock myself.

Of course what kind of a waking life scenario is behind these images? Well you could say a big scenario is the idea of the future, and in order to have a better future, we have to figure out how to hold this inner space inside, no matter what’s occurring in the outer world.

If we aren’t able to be empty in ourselves, then how can we expect others to find the compassion, and the recognition, and the coming together, and the intertwining, and the wholeness for themselves?

That’s the huge picture and it has to do with the whole. But of course I’m being shown that I even have difficulty from a personal standpoint in that I’m not even handling the little stuff.

This whole spiritual process begins with having to deal with the dark side of ourselves. Even in that we can get caught in the reflections of going back and forth and back and forth. At some point we have to take a leap forward into something that’s an overallness, or a wholeness. As one attempts to do that, the realization comes that the light is not necessarily what we perceived it to be, and we have to make another shift to realize that all the light is inside us.

The light we connect to isn’t some light that we find as a support in a collective way, as if there is greater clarity outside ourselves. We’re all created out of everything and we have everything in us. But, are we finding it? Are we working from the principle of the whole, rather than from the principle of figuring out how to pull all the component parts together? Are we acknowledging the fact that everything is already intertwined?

A Sequence of Events

John: As this series of images begins, I’m with a person who recently visited us. He takes a picture of a large luxury car that has caught his attention. Then he comes across a small car, which I consider insignificant because it’s got a rack on it and all kinds of stuff that hide what it is. To my surprise he takes a picture of this car as well.

Then he uses a software program to remove all the attachments that hide the beauty of the little car. The image is now opened up and the car can be seen. He then creates a collage of the two cars side by side, as if he found them that way. I’m amazed that this can be done. The big car and the little car can be seen in a whole different light now; they don’t look too bad together.

The understanding here is that I’m both the big car and the little car, and both aspects are important. As things currently exist, the little car (my life) seems insignificant because of the outer clutter, yet when that’s taken away, it becomes interesting. And when it’s placed next to the big car, it creates an amazing image of how these two different aspects complement each other.

In considering this image with the prior dreams (see Up to Speed), I realize that different parts of me need to be “cooked” at different speeds, i.e., given time to evolve in their own way, and I need to give space for that. I can do that by limiting my reactions – my self-conscious, emotional barriers – which keep me from blossoming. That will enable me to exist side by side with my higher self (big car) as the levels come together.

Some people are predicting that, in the future, working with nano technology in a unique way, it’s going to be possible to create and produce the items we need by way of manipulating matter and manufacturing something instantly. This is obviously something on a cutting edge of development.

In the same context, my dream uses a recent house guest who takes pictures of seemingly silly (to us) things. Is it possible that deep down there’s something else moving behind the scenes, of which he’s hardly cognizant, that enables him to be able to blend things together to see them in a new light? Is it an essence in his nature at play?

In the next dream there’s a 2’ x 4’ floor mat in front of a refrigerator. The short side is against the refrigerator. Some water splashes the area and the mat catches most of it, but some lands on the floor. I turn the mat lengthwise so it can be even more effective. I would have done it sooner if I had observed the need.  

The meaning of this has to do with noting how my unfolding is enabling me to better see and adapt to what’s needed.

This dream is kind of funny. It starts with a small man coming up behind me and trying to hold my arm behind my back. Deep down I know I can easily wrestle free and confront him directly and, in so doing, bring this situation to a state of proper perspective, i.e., we can both come to know more.  

This is showing me that, by overcoming resistances in life I can develop an inner power that can lead to a greater awareness of my self, and of the whole.

In the next dream, I learn from a man that his wife likes the look of my bedspread. He’s trying to tell me that when she gets something in her head, she won’t let it go. In other words, where can she get this bedspread? I try to tell him that the bedspread is no longer made. Nevertheless I look for somewhere she can find something similar.

The meaning of this is, in order to reach the hidden mysteries of life, I must notice the signs on the horizon. The perspective is that of a person (in outer life) seeking something and wanting to know more about what exists on a deeper, inner level. Getting the bedspread is their way of catching up with it.

In other words, the bedspread is indicative of something else that’s waking up and compelling them to try and reach a particular note – by association. As a parallel, you could say that I too need to see things with the curiosity that was shown by my house guest (in the first image), rather than making my own projection of its worth or value.

That will allow me to see another side of what’s trying to emerge, by noting this unfolding of inner consciousness. The guest was entwined with life, but encumbered and hiding a deep awareness that’s mostly unconscious. I need to observe his outer mannerisms and, if I’m truly responsible, I can catch up with other veils (in me) that I’m not readily seeing.

In the last image, a person is looking for something as it is meant to be. They seek a pristine quality, or a type of perfection in it. The question becomes, are they willing to accept something in a lesser state?  

As I sit with this complexity, I find myself having to take a different position. In other words, I can’t begrudgingly accept the lesser. I wake up understanding that my nature will not let me settle for something that’s lesser than what I know is possible.

In this, I’m contrasting two inner energetic states, one is the state that will compromise even though there’s so much more. I have to sense what that’s like, and also what it’s like to aspire to the greater picture. Aspiring for more requires a different level of concentration or aliveness.

When I consider all the dreams last night and their sequence, first I have to see the barrier, second I have to see the way I’m moving around in life and what this implies in terms of what’s awakening or trying to come to the surface.

Third I must be gentle with myself because inner aspects are evolving at different rates. Fourth I can’t let little barriers mislead me. Fifth, I need to note the inner conviction in my nature that’s trying to wake up. And sixth, I need to get out of my own way so that what is there at this deeper level can find its own pathway to the surface.