The Soul Element

In John’s meditation and dreams, the role of the soul is explored, as it tries to manage the inner life in relation to the physical experience.

(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: What I noticed from my dream, is that the soul does not know how to relate to the outer conditions of things. The soul sits in a state where everything is okay, and so if there’s something haywire in the outer, and that’s what’s being impressed in the direction of the soul, the soul has to figure out how to accommodate that.

And that is kind of a strange thing for the soul to do, because the soul doesn’t relate to that. The soul relates more to the whole, and yet it finds itself having to accommodate something that doesn’t quite twang right. And the thing that’s missing, is the soul is being required to make work something that’s outside of the equation of where it is at.

In other words, the reflections happen around the flow from the soul, but the soul is separate from those matters that can be described or imaged. The soul is free from all of that, and yet, if something that because the soul seems to be compelled to have to hold its relationship to the physical, in other words, you’re in the physical there’s an element of an aliveness in the physical to which the soul is the vital essence, if what is going on in the physical has to be dealt with by the soul, the soul doesn’t know how to really relate to that other than by trying to take and be in some sort of coping way.

And there’s a sadness in this coping way because it’s displaced from the greater orientation that it can have. Now, where this makes things especially difficult is if you have caught up with this greater awareness of how things are, in terms of the way that unfolds, if you’ve connected with that, and then you find yourself slipping back into trying to establish the chemistry around you of something like that, that is when you will find that if you are true to yourself, you can’t make those elements, those images, you can’t make them real in a touching way.

I guess that’s why it’s said that when you go to a certain point inside yourself to let go of that and try to go back out into the outer, it just doesn’t work anymore. The images and the mannerisms that have fed you before in the outer, just don’t do their thing anymore, because you know better.

In my dreams last night I had to experience the ordeal of this sort of thing, and so I did it straight away as an aspect of meditation. As I’m sitting in the meditation, in kind of an absent state, where something just kind of comes in where there’s generally a meaningful inner effect, in other words, that evolves, I am confronted with the physical result that I have to adjust to in order to not feel afflicted, because it is afflicting me.

It’s kind of like when you sit to meditate and you’re fidgeting and you can’t stop fidgeting or you can’t stop the thinking then you are afflicted by that which is happening around you, and that kind of keeps you in that state of a trance, or way of being off. And so that is the veil, and you’re held by that veil – in that degree you feel off.

I remember dreams when I would have stomach acid and I’d incorporate that stomach acid into a quality that told me something in terms of the dream. In this particular case, in terms of how I was sitting or something, I developed a huge pain and I incorporated that pain into it, in order to try to make it work, but I couldn’t make it work because that pain was in the way.

And that’s how I came to realize what the soul has to put up with when it has these kinds of peculiar impositions that are placed upon it that the soul generally just doesn’t know how to relate to because it takes into account the big picture. It takes into account the wholeness.

Essentially the scenario is, as I mentioned, I went somewhere and wherever it was that I went I had to try to contend with, on this side of things, a physical pain, and this was very confusing because the soul doesn’t design, in its infiniteness, some sort of pain. And to the denser, lower self, whatever you’re going through has a fatalistic, shallow, and just basically it can lead to a sadness, can lead to all kinds of things coming through the senses, because you don’t have the linkage you need.

And the soul, because it’s always situated in an overallness, the soul consciousness has to accept and absorb these outward deviations. So to accept those circumstances, whatever they might be in the outer, the blend between the two, the struggle between the two, can have you courageously making a stand as if this is how you’re meant to be. But what’s needed is just this noble focus that adheres to what is deemed true to the big picture wholeness it is in. That’s what you need to have, not the preoccupations on the little things.

The deeper meaning is, because the meditation took me outside of my physical senses to a place where lower self emotional activity is gone, and if it were to remain it would be confusing, because to remain in kind of a lower self, lower level, physical level way of orientation, it’s always some sort of strife, whether you identify it or not, whether you look at it or not, you still feel it.

So the inner response is to simply accept what is meted out, as if it is an intended aspect of the wholeness, and the wholeness as designed.

By taking and knowing how the soul is constantly trying to find the orientation of, as above so below, that’s where I know that the soul is not able to reconcile consciously a physical limitation. It has to factor that into the greater beingness, as if it’s part of what is designed to be. Because the soul doesn’t have this lower-self whimpering, or futility, and nature of the humanistic aspect to have to deal with some imbedded reaction, or defense mechanism, that one has. It doesn’t do that. In fact, it isn’t even possible for the soul to do that. The soul is not a defense mechanism in which limitations such as this even exist.

A soul is part of a wholeness that doesn’t become shallow just to convenience the personal level. The soul has to sit in this overall infiniteness, and it is us that tries to make that come across like that and be different. The soul never lives itself, or sees itself, or experiences anything, on the basis of reflections because they aren’t real, only the lower self does that.

That is the meditation dream. I had a lot of pain. What was interesting is I came right out of it, it was all psychosomatic to create the scenarios so that I could see those.

When I went to bed I continued dreaming about being out of place with where I am meant to be. Every image was either embarrassing, disgusting, sad, or demoralized.

For example, in one scenario I’m kind of in this large reception area room that’s like full of high school students that I don’t know anybody and it’s like maybe a type of graduation party and they are jockeying and carrying on and there’s all this commotion.

But I don’t relate to anyone and not only that I am the only one there who isn’t dressed, wandering around naked, and it’s an embarrassing and disgusting situation, but nobody seems to pay any attention to it except the emcee that are looking out for the fact that this party exists and so maybe they’re the grownups in the group. And they’re a little embarrassed by it.

And then this progresses to the point where when it’s time to sit down or something I can’t even find a seat, which doesn’t belong to someone else, without me, in other words, pushing myself into where I don’t belong. And wherever I look I see people I do not know and cannot relate to.

And from there I proceed out onto a boat as if this is kind of a recreation for the whole gathering, and I am just as out of place there. I don’t know what it is I’m trying to accomplish there, and even at one point I turn to a person who is sitting next to me and I ask him if what I’m doing is taking away from the experience, or lowering the energetic for him.

And he just looks at me, and as he pauses to glance within I can see that he knows what I mean. To me it is so obvious I would have expected a person to be able to get it straightaway, but people just don’t realize that everything that they find themselves trying to do for the sake of thinking that this is what it’s about in terms of trying to enjoy, and this is a reception, a party, and all of that in relationship to some event of some sort, and yet everything that is done to orchestrate all of that in the outer is completely flat. It has to have that inner aliveness to give it a quality.

There comes a time when I realize that I must go back to get my clothes. In other words, I had gone out on this boat excursion and still seem to apparently have my jacket or clothes or something that were left behind maybe on a boat near the docks or something. And so I actually jump in the water and try to swim back there but everything is discombobulated. I don’t recognize a single thing.

It’s as if the high school graduation party and reception and all of that and whatever the extracurricular have been, which was the boat scene, has all ended and things have shifted back into a whole different look. Without that projection, there’s a whole different look.

So there isn’t a person around that I can even relate to as even that innocent or bizarre kind of high school vibration even. So I haven’t the foggiest idea where the place is even where I put my clothes, and so in one of the busier kind of houseboats or something that’s floating out there, which has a whole different scene that’s emerged there, I seem to ask out of complete confusion because I have nowhere to know how to recreate what that’s supposed to be like because all of the outer images are different, I ask this person and sure enough they, in changing the scene, moved a whole bunch of clothes aside rather than throw them out. And you would have thought maybe they could have just as easily thrown them out because they were reshaping it for whatever it is that is their outer scene. And it’s at that time that I realize that I’m not the only one trying to experience that which no longer exists or makes any sense.

What is going on is that I looked up the place where my friend was moving, and I was stunned. Remember I communicated how that left me just really strange? Energetically it hit me as off. I didn’t like the neighborhood. I felt like a person who could no longer relate anymore to that which is needed, and so in the dream… the meaning of the dream is my new dream has me delving into an energetic, sinking feeling that came over me yesterday.

What I learn from the meditation dream is that without the inner awareness I wallow in the outer. When I wallow in the outer, the soul gets confused because it doesn’t relate that way. The soul isn’t necessarily confused, the soul is maintaining how it is that it sees things in the overall.

And then this other is thrown at the soul and that leads to a huge gap, which results in confusion. There’s a reason why one experiences it like this and why one has these experiences is when you notice that the outer is like this, it’s to help you come to grips with the fact that your attention needs to be even clearer in terms of sustaining and maintaining the soulfulness, because that’s what when you have the correspondence and can find the correspondence of the inner into the outer, that’s what is alive. Until this dream I hadn’t realized just how discombobulating it is to be disconnected from the inner.

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Close Encounters

Today the series continues with a dream of being an alien on planet Earth, triggered by all the stimulation and noise occurring in Jeane’s outer life, and her sense of distance from all that.


(At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my dream I seem to be living in my hometown with my folks who are both alive, although I don’t really see my dad. I think in the dream I only see my mom.

I’m actually one of a small group of people on the planet that come from somewhere else, so we seem to be being discovered or persecuted. So my thought is that I probably need to kind of disappear and join a rendezvous with some other people so that I won’t be found.

And my dilemma is whether or not to tell my mother before I leave. The way I’m going to leave is I have this very low-to-the-ground kind of dark blue sports car and I’m just going to get in the car like I’m going down to the beach cabin or something, and I do seem to have a dilemma.

It seems like I have this desk that I’m attached to and I can take the desk apart and take it with me, or maybe just even have to leave it behind, but then it’ll get broken up is my sense. I don’t seem to want to see it broken up.

I’ll just get in the car and say I’m driving down to the beach cabin, but I’ll actually be going there and then going on to Spain, where it seems to me it’s like where I’ll rendezvous with some other people that are actually from another planet, and we’ll hide out until we’re no longer being pursued or persecuted by people on Earth.

John: You’re still complaining about having to sort out the energetic of things that are overwhelming, and what’s interesting is you just kind of want to get out of Dodge with it, you want to leave it behind. And that’s not actually how you function best.

The way you function best is you’re able to take the stimuli that occurs around you, finesse it in some fashion so that what it does touches something as an inner inflection, and it’s these inner inflections that you’re able to portray, that have a meaningfulness to what needs to flow.

Now you may have felt an awkwardness and an overwhelm and needing to go home and such, and it being too much. Deep down how it’s meant to work as an inner inflection, in which you just allow yourself to be overwhelmed by all of the stimuli, and that in the overwhelm, some part of you will sort this sort of thing out, and will come to what is important. It’ll just be in there and it’ll come together in its own due time.

What it’s really saying is a statement of the inner, that one goes along, they learn to figure out what is going on, based upon the outer stimuli that happens to them, that is not accidental or coincidental, it is part of a natural flow that has to do with how it is that they are designed.

And when they catch up with that, what they’re catching up with is not the putting together of the outer stimuli as the end all be all, but they are catching up with the inner inflection that is awakened as a result of the reflective images.

In other words, it’s a correspondence like that, but it really is not made possible unless you catch up with the inner essence of it.

Well, in your particular case, where you wander around, and you just happen to stumble into what you need to stumble into, and see what you need to see. A person can go about their lives and be tuned in to their environment.

I naturally seem to try to find or coordinate or reach to how something needs to flow on an inner way to be recognizing inside what was being inflected as outer stimuli and being able and knowing how to make that alive.

Whenever you’re overwhelmed by things, your dream is portraying you being overwhelmed, but it’s portraying you being overwhelmed in a way that I would not have suspected. You were overwhelmed by the fact that there is something about how you have to hold together the cadence of things that has to do with your dad, has to do with me, things aren’t quite right, you still haven’t quite caught up, as you would put it, with a balance because of your surgery, and all of that is creating a bit of a disarray.

And the disarray that it creates for you reflects more on a mood level, and so when you get off on a mood level you tend to hear things almost in a funny woundology way, and that is the sort of thing that you need to go beyond or go through. Your process takes you through that sort of tunnel first and then you come out the other side seeing what is going on from the inner flow.

But that’s your mechanism that sorts to that. Your dream portrayed you doing this. In other words, the thing that was alien and foreign were the things happening around you that didn’t have a cohesion based upon the overwhelming mess of your nature, didn’t have a cohesiveness at that time, but they will come to have a cohesiveness.

Describe your dream a little bit more because there’s a lot in it and what I’m missing is properly describing exactly how you do this, because you do describe how you’re doing this in this dream even though you’re describing a very dense awkwardness.

Jeane: I’m living at home but I seem to be involved in some activity that a few other aliens on the planet are doing, and people when they discover this, seem to persecute us and I have a feeling they’re getting close to discovering me. So then I need to go underground so to speak, which would mean going to Spain. My dilemma is my sister seems to know but, do I tell my folks when I get into the car or do I just drive off?

John: Your living at home means that you have a consciousness that you carry about you, before it’s introduced to the stimuli, has a natural wholeness.

Jeane: There’s a small group of us that are actually alien, but are doing something to help the planet but people don’t understand that so they’re beginning to figure out who some of us are and because they don’t understand we are really trying to help they are persecuting us but because I feel like they are maybe on to me I have to go underground and go to Spain.

John: That’s a double memo. There are two things that are alien here. One is the stimuli in the outer is alien, and that’s persecuting you and the other is that in spite of the stimuli in the outer that’s persecuting you, you still carry an inflection to something that is free from that, that needs to have its own space uncontaminated by that.

And then that causes you to go to Spain so to speak, Spain being an ancient part inside or a depth inside of yourself that is able to just easily announce what is meaningful. In other words, it’s like what you would say to someone that would be like a light bulb moment. It wouldn’t on the surface have anything to do with what… but that would be coming out of left field and it would add something to the quality it’s trying to sort out, and that would be like going to Spain, in other words that would bring something in that doesn’t have the alien contango, you being alien because you note something somewhere else.

The world catching up with you and seeing you as alien, or the inflections around, are alien because they distort what it is that you’re capable of perceiving when you get overwhelmed.

When you’re placed in an environment that you would never normally place yourself in you are going to find yourself naturally functioning in terms of trying to find that get-out-of-Spain depth quality. You are going to find yourself having to take something beyond alien to the inner.

Jeane: Well, then it feels like there is a desk that sometimes gets broken or it can be broken down that I want to take with me if possible. It’s an old desk but you can kind of break it down but sometimes it’s almost like maybe that is what people smash when they find out you are an alien too, so I just want to be able to break mine down in a way I can take it with me.

And also my dilemma is do I just get in the car and leave and go to the beach cabin and then tell my folks I’m going to the beach cabin and go to Spain, or do I tell my mother that I’m going. That is my dilemma. I feel like my sister knows.

John: Now the desk represents a type of orientation that you’re able to hold or uphold from the stimuli around you, but you have to uphold this in a different way. In other words, the way you uphold it is the stimuli is busted into a million pieces, so that it then fits into the overallness. In other words, you don’t noodle upon something overly specifically, which is the nature of the feminine to be able to put things that have a succinctness into a cadence that fits within the outer overall.

In other words, it’s able to take something that is too linear and bust it into 1,000 pieces. It’s included then within the overall because it then fits within the overall, but it can’t fit within the overall if it’s a succinct objective, linear thing that is too much to bring forward because it’s too microcosmic. It doesn’t fit within the overall whole.

You getting out of Dodge or going to Spain means you’re taking the alien stimuli, the stimuli that to the average person keeps them kind of caught up in the outer nuances of things, you’re able to somehow or another take that in in a capacity so that you’re able to sort that out, and what you are able to sort out you’re able to take somewhere as an energetic vibration that awakens something.

The meaningfulness being like a knowingness and the knowingness being like your work study desk in life, except because it’s on both levels that desk has to be busted into a million pieces so that it fits and accommodates the wholeness. When you are able to correlate and relate like that, that opening of it up some creates an inflection. That inflection that it creates, creates an innerness that awakens inside.

But if what happens in the outer scenario of things becomes to the point where it agitates or leaves you disturbed and you get caught up in mannerisms and attitudes and stuff like that, then you find yourself haunted as if you are in an alien atmosphere or in an alien element and you just want to shut off or close off or go somewhere.

What is interesting is we don’t have that luxury anymore. We actually do have to see what is going on behind it all. I mean, we can grumble and complain and act this way and that way for a while but we ultimately come back to having to make it make sense, and the way that it makes sense is we don’t sort out the outer variables to the point where okay, we have got everything into some sort of pigeonholing, we sort it out in terms of a sense of an inner flow that is in harmony with our perceptions of the overall.

But when you are not quite sorting it out then you have all of this other stuff where you are going to Spain or… It’s an interesting country you pick, Spain, because it’s an old world part of yourself from which you are going to find a resolution.

You do not know it, but you did pick an old part which means it’s not like… Spain is a foreign country but in a roundabout way it’s foreign from the standpoint that you have an association with it on a depth level to something that is ancient inside of yourself. It’s an ancient place.

Well, the schematic or the theme of the evening of yesterday after the whole day of over stimuli and overindulgence and being affected by things that could be disturbing both from the standpoint of physical exertion as well as confusion, the theme of the evening was, how do you take and you bring that back into enough of a quietness so that you’re not identifying with the outer stimuli as the end all be all, but finding that from the stimuli there is a correspondence to something meaningful that is sitting subjectively inside one’s self, that needs to be stirred or awakened?

In other words, the principle of something awakening like that is the feminine mannerism, and so the outer is approached as if it is throwing out masculine principle overload in all kinds of peculiar ways. How you ultimately come to recognize that there is something behind all of this, it’s not just the appearances and the mannerisms, but there’s something behind all of that that in other words everything that is happening isn’t by accident. It’s by some sort of… there’s no meaningful coincidences in other words.

It’s like somehow or another it is energetically reflectively shaped from an inner energetic that is there to be found, or reached, and so the dreams last night are trying to get one to recognize that there is this, and that we actually do somehow or another over the course of time have figured out how to find and see ourselves as sorting things out that way.

We do not sort it out by putting the building blocks this way and that way and then saying okay, this is how it’s going to be and now we’re comfortable. We sort it out by finding out what is going on, what is behind all of it, energetically that is meaningful from some inner point of reference, not some outer point of reference.

And this is the distinction between a person who is awakening more quickly. A person who is awakening slowly is having to contend with the outer things as if they are real and so they’re dealing with a lot of dead issues constantly and so they suffer by the confusion of not quite being able to catch up with the memo of it all.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Close Encounters

The Third Wheel

John: The next dream has more specific imagery and is tied in with the first dream (see Breaking Through).

This time I’m traveling somewhere with two other men. I’m not sure where we’re going. 

One of the other men has a presence about him – he just seems to know where things are going and I feel I can trust that. The other man is more impulsive. He gets impatient and pushes to keep moving forward.

I’m the third part of this trio. I like the pace of the first man, who creates an allowance that exists energetically. With him, everything seems to proceed smoothly, and there is time to catch up with one’s self.

But just when I reach a state where I almost get something, that’s when the other man gets impulsive, pushing for a shift, urging us to go forward. That unsettles me, throwing me off from my normal way of being present in the flow.

The first man is influenced by the urging of the impulsive man, yet he purposely tries to slow things down to give me a chance to catch up with what’s unfolding. 

For example, when we pause in the journey I would read a portion of a book, about heroines (the feminine), and there’s time provided for me to do this. But just when I’m nearly through with a particular chapter, the second man – almost as if he can sense that I’m nearly ready – begins to push for us to move forward, before I can fully digest what I’ve taken in. I really only need a tiny bit more time, but that’s when he pushes harder that we need to move on.

So I feel this pressure, as if I’m the third wheel in the flow, because I am not quite keeping up with what I’m trying to grasp. I’m getting information, but then I’m getting scattered by the disturbance of the impulsive man.

I’m under the impression that, if I’m able to pause and catch up with this matter, then I will know where we are going and what we are trying to do. The way things are going, I’m continually left feeling I’m still a little in the dark. 

It doesn’t work this way on the higher, more vibrant energetic level. This dream is describing the flow of things, and the feeling is one of being pushed and pulled a bit. All three men are aspects of me, and aspects that are trying to guide me. One part is connected and in the flow. A second part needs a pause to catch up, or consider where I’m going. The third man sees that the pause is causing me to become distracted and wants me to push onward – to stay on track.

It is my pausing that carries me back but, in this particular case, this pause has a double effect – as shown in the first dream (see Breaking Through) – in that it can carry me back to an imbalance of feeling. When I pause in the flow, I teeter between falling back into old patterns (the easy, familiar way), and being urged to keep pushing onward into new territory and growth.

That moment of pause is basically me letting go of the energetic I’m connected with, which can guide me to a greater state of knowing. It’s that energetic note that I want to resonate with. When I let go of that note, I fall into lower-self considerations, patterns, and idiosyncrasies that derail me from my journey.

At one point in the dream, as I’m reading the next chapter and the second guide is urging us onward, I come across a word I’ve never seen before. The word is “unpatented” woman. I ask the primary guide, “What is this?” He says, “It’s a woman who reaches the point where she can no longer say “No.” 

This has me dumbfounded, wondering what that means because I’m not reading some sort of soap opera drama, like a romance novel. It’s not like that at all.

So, how does this fit? I know that it’s about some other revelation, which we will explore tomorrow.