Posts Tagged ‘inner essence’

esd.jpGold in a dream is an image of higher energy, and what better way to portray the awakening process than to dream of eating gold and changing it into something else? Because there is a double message here: humans can transform themselves from “lead” to gold through a spiritual process, but then they also can transform one energy into another, consciously, as a service into the universe. So the initial awakening is something that helps us reach our ultimate purpose. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: The only thing I remember is the last part of my dream. And in this dream I seem to be the son of John McCain and his wife, who are actually in another room.

And whatever I do I’m in an adjoining room, and I have another sibling that I don’t really see clearly that’s right beside me. And there’s some other people in the room that I’m in, but I don’t see them clearly either.

And the problem that I have is that my sibling and I have a work that we’re doing that we’re not being able to get done. It’s being interfered with by the others around us, either the McCain’s or the other people in the room, I don’t know which. And the work that we’re doing is we seem to swallow these gold chains and, once we’ve swallowed the gold, because I can see it inside us, we do something that transmutes it into something else.

But it’s not working right now. It’s not either working because the people are talking to us, or because of something that’s being done in the adjoining room. I’m not sure which it is. There’s just something that’s being done by the people around us that’s interfering with us being able to get our work done right now.

John: What the dream signifies is, you’re using John McCain as an example of something that, in an outer expressive way, much of what he stands for, or represents, or does is a bit unrelatable, or indulgent, in terms of the outer. And that this blocks a process, or holds you back from a process of catching up and finding yourself.

In other words, you are having to adapt to the outer conditions being peculiarized, so to speak, because of just the nature in which the outer varies in terms of how it’s reflective, and comes to the senses, and is an area where you workout qualms and mannerisms. And you’re finding yourself, in terms of trying to sort this out, in a malaise, you know a John McCain kind of world type malaise.

But you’re also meant, even though you find yourself in this position, you’re meant to be able to transform the whole blood iron of something into gold. In other words, you have a distinction inside of yourself of what is pure; in other words what comes from an inner place. It’s within. You’ve taken it in.

The parts of yourself that you’re able to notice inflectively, all have a connection to this inner essence, and yet you have trouble reaching it, or aspiring to it, or finding it. You swallowed it, so to speak. It’s out of sight and out of mind almost, because your indulgence of your attention is so much so, in an outer collective motif, that is dominated by outward reflections that are of an orientation, a specific orientation, that is a little delusional because it is in the outer and out of touch with this inner essence.

This is the conundrum you find yourself in, but the image is such that you are to gather from this that you’re meant to be able to sort it out, because you have swallowed the gold. You are formed in the image of that which is beyond the John McCain quality that has everything in a delirium. So you’re born into this condition, the John McCain world. I mean whether you like it or not, this is how you find yourself, thrown into a chemistry that has been designed for you, that takes you into having to contend with things that don’t appear to have anything to do with the inner essence within. That you seem to be in the outer and devoid of any of that recognition, yet you do have that inner essence within and it little by little comes across, much in the manner in which, like an alchemy, where there’s the transformation of lead into gold, lead being the outer, gold being the inner, and this quality comes forth and is able to be accepted in this domain.

Because you have to think of it from the position of John McCain, and if you’re his son or daughter or whatever, you’ve been brought up to relate to how it is that he perceives the world. And yet you have this other inner quickening because you’ve ingested something. Something inside of you is a seed awakening. It’s the inner gold that’s been swallowed and, in that regard, you are not quite carrying that same indulged and ignorant echo blindly.

And so if you look at it from the perspective of John McCain, as you awaken, and you’re his son, and he has a certain caringness and purpose of life that has to do with you being able to grow up as he attempts to reconcile the distinctions, in other words in this outer sense, he comes to know as well what is important in life – inflectively.

So you have both processes going on, inner into outer, and then outer rising up to touch the inner. You have both processes attempting to go on. Both of them are geared though to something of an essence that has to make itself known in some capacity in order for there to be change – or otherwise it just all stays a John McCain world.

But it’s not meant to be a John McCain world because both you and your sibling, in other words his kids, have a spark inside of them, which means we all have the spark inside of us, some more so than others, to awaken to that which is the true light, the sun, the gold, the essence, and in doing so the world awakens.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A True Light

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Today the dreaming triggers an exploration into the territory of subrogating energy, which has to do with our tendency, as humans in this culture, to look outside of ourselves when something is trying to arise from within. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

 Jeane: My dreams last night were rather wispy. In one dream it feels like I’m visiting some young women that I’m living with. I must be in my 20s too, and it’s like we’ve been working and living together, but I’m going to be moving now.

John: Are you moving from the woman you’re living with?

Jeane: From a group of them. There’s a group of us living together. They seem like people I knew from high school.

John: You have been working with them too?

Jeane: When I first leave I go about three or four blocks away, and I’m staying at the house of a man, and actually sleeping with this man, that I know from Seattle, except we’re not really making love because he’s always preoccupied with something that he’s doing.

He at one point goes with me and picks up some of the women to drive them somewhere that they need to go, and it feels like when we’re in the car again he and I are always preoccupied with something, almost like a box that we have with some instruments in it, or we’re trying to unpack things and place them in the right spot as people get in and out of the car.

It feels like it’s that same way when we’re at his house, that there are things that we’re moving around in the bed and that he’s preoccupied with that he has to get done. That whole dream just has that sensation in it.

John: You’re portraying a quality of a depth of yourself as being subrogated. In other words, what that means is that when you’re in a group or a wholeness, in other words, with the other women that you’re with and that you’re working and whatnot, and then you move out of that place and into something as if that’s better, what you’re doing is a type of subrogation.

You’re making a choice as if that brings you into a better result. The image then proceeds to tell you that what you’re doing is avoiding something, and it was meant to open up if you would have stayed in the state that involved a sense of camaraderie and wholeness within.

By moving out you’re finding out that you can’t get, reach, or achieve that which you desire or design, because you’ve already turned your back on something from where you left, and in turning your back on that from which you left – energy is neither created nor destroyed, it just moves around in different states – and so the subrogated state that you have is that, where you end up you can’t quite reach the connectivity that you feel you desire because of having rejected something or repudiated something else.

In other words, this is a type of making a choice in which the choice you have made kept something from opening up inside, as you then thought that it could be opened up in this other way. And it can’t work that way because everything that evolves, evolves from within.

And so what you end up with is a situation in which something is still deprived. There is something about this guy that you move in with that is unable, even though for all intents and purposes the appearances are such that this is better, or that this should work, and that you’re going to be making this choice, because you have failed to open up or come to grips with something inside when you were in the previous scenario or setting.

When you then failed to do that there, and then choose to go and make an outer choice as if it’s now possible somewhere else, in this other way, you only find in the end that something is restless or moving around or unsettled or whatever it is it just doesn’t quite gel like it’s supposed to – from your way of looking at things.

This subject of subrogation is a very big, deep, peculiar subject because for some reason a human being is constantly doing that, constantly deviating off of a depth from deep within that can be reached, by taking and making choices or decisions that have them probe out in some sort of outer context way.

And however it is that they probe out in an outer context way cannot work out for them because you don’t find anything of value that way. You only find it of value from what comes from within. But the problem is what comes from within has a certain danger to it too in that it can be overwhelming and when it seems and comes across as overwhelming, the reason why you get the sensation that it’s overwhelming is because a part of you still seeks or believes in something that’s in the outer.

So when you open an access to something on the inner that’s more profound than what you’re ready to handle, you step away from that, and you attempt to open it up under circumstances that are more under your idea of control and balance – and it never works out that way.

In other words, the inner thing hits you, the inner thing and essence that hits you, hits you in a way with more than what you were capable of dealing with, but rather than settle in and let that come to a fullness of time, you step away from the overpowering quality. You do it by way of a reaction that to you makes perfect sense, but the end result is that you’re now trying to take in what was there as a sense, yet trying to open up in a situation that was protected and stabilized, you’re now trying to open that up in a way that is out on its own.

And without the protection, without the security of the overall, of the lineage or whatever it is that the overall is, without that security of it opening up in a protected way, the deviation or the mannerism to which you probe out is – it’s not going to quite come together. It’s always going to seem peculiar to you in some fashion or another, and that’s because it’s not supposed to work that way.

And yet that is what everyone does over and over and over again. It’s called trying to subrogate the energy. A good example is, in case that’s hard to understand in terms of the word subrogation, a good example is where the opposite of what you’re doing is where a woman takes and represses her femininity in order to live in a man’s world.

She takes on different streamline appearances with herself, she loses a certain graciousness, she can shine with a beauty as she takes on an attire that fits more with how the masculine world works. But she has a tendency in doing so of losing a connection to the ability that she has to effectuate through her connection an effect in the inner that is outside of the senses and outside of the mind.

When she moves away from that profound side of herself, she is subrogating her energy into what her perceptions tell her is a more acceptable norm, in terms of the outer, and thus she loses an aspect that is very, very important for her in terms of how it is that she is meant to be centered, in terms of who it is that she is. She is trying to make herself into something that she is not. And we do that over and over again as if it can be found that way – and it’s called subrogation.

When you had the dream image of traveling to a place like a university in the northeast… It was the northeast, right?

Jeane: New Hampshire or somewhere, yeah.

John: That was kind of a type of answer as a way of counterbalancing what you had done in your first dream, because in your first dream if you were to depict a direction you would have been traveling to the southwest. If there would have been a direction then it would have been to the southwest, which would mean to the outer and into that which is setting, or coming to an end. In other words as opposed to something that is going into a spiritual awareness, and something fresh and new is coming in at the same time.

Something fresh and new comes in from the east and the direction with inside of yourself is said to be to the north – when you are attentive to the inner. It’s to the south when you’re attentive to the outer. It’s to the west when you’re attentive to trying to make something in the outer come together.

Your little sensation dream provided kind of like a sense of humor, hint, in terms of what was wrong. In the other dream that you had is that your attention was in the wrong direction.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Evolving from Within

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John: In Jeane’s dream yesterday (see The Support of the Whole), the image showed that part of her had made a connection to the overall, while a part of her still had hesitations about that aspect of letting go.

When we see ourselves as part of the whole, it means that the events in the outer no longer have a certain type of validity; they no longer dictate how we respond in ourselves. It means we have a way of seeing and understanding everything that’s happening around us that’s less personal and more universal.

When we view the world from a separated, personalized viewpoint, it’s like we take some aspect of life and we dwell upon it and dwell upon it until it becomes our anguish, our pain, our heartache that we’re going through. It becomes a big drama.

But, in a spiritual development, once we get through, or let go, of the personalized drama, then our attention can shift to everything else, and we can view events in life as part of the natural dynamic. We no longer see ourselves as separate, but part of an unfolding process.

Until that point, we’ll still be coloring, or adding personal bias, to whatever we perceive around us. We’ll still be coloring it with some aspect of our drama and, therefore, keeping everything separate because we’ll be sorting it out in relationship to this non-empty state that we still choose to carry. So everything will still be evaluated, or filtered, in relationship to that.

You might say your dream has asked you the question: can you go off and be okay without having a particular, defined presence, functioning as if to reflect things to you as a mirror? Can you now do this for yourself – in relationship to everything in life? A part of you says yes (you’re moving) and a part of you still says no in the dream, and that’s the part where this guy comes in and starts going through the closet.

So that’s the neurosis. I mean, you’re still not quite fully believing it and so you’re still having to go and sift through the evaluation forms in the corner, as if there’s still some sort of reality in its own separate, distinct way.

See, in an emptiness, in a state in which you lose yourself, there’s no evaluation left. I mean, there’s only an evaluation left when there’s the idea that things are separate and distinct, i.e., you have to look at something over here, and then you have to look at something over there, and there’s a distinction. But you only see these distinctions when you’re looking at reflections of the truth, not the real truth, because reflections take something out of the flow of what is real and they suspend it out.

As a reflection is suspended out, it’s almost like a motion picture on a screen. It’s set and fixed. Then, if you relate to the image that’s set as if it’s real, and that’s how you approach and react to things, then you have to evaluate that setness. There’s no aliveness in that.

If you go back to when the image was first created, all the aliveness exists there and it’s fluid and it changes and it correlates and it relates and it includes and intertwines, but the projection itself doesn’t do that. The outer world we see and experience is such a projection.

So if some part of you is coming into the office and grabbing forms for evaluative purposes, that’s the set quality trait that’s still there: some aspect of you is still taking the reflection as literal. So you have to contend with that aspect in you – there’s still work to be done.

The key to this dream is that you have two energetics going on, and you have to try to feel the both of them. You have to feel the energetic that has the bravado that’s able to recognize that it does have this independence and freedom and linkage and connection upon which it can fall back and be okay.

And then you have to feel the part that still has to knee-jerk and go through a reaction in some sense, and then has to evaluate where and how all of this is and what it’s all about. That part is the part that’s still working with the outer reflection, as opposed to an inner essence.

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