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Posts Tagged ‘inner pain in a dream’

1-abriefhistorWe have said many times that our dreams are trying to help us. They help us clean up what is no longer needed, they help us make inner connections between different aspects of our inner lives that have become estranged, and they let us see what is holding us back and where our resistance is. And they do this work in the most direct way possible: from us, to us, in the unconscious realms where we don’t have the same barriers up to get in the way. And our dreams can accomplish all of these things in a fraction of the time it might take us to wrestle with these issues in our waking life. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my dream it started off in the meditation dream, and the meditation has a bit of a kind of disaster, in which I didn’t think I was going to have anything going on at all, because I came out of the meditation in such a steep grog that to write it up would have been difficult, miserable in fact, because I was so groggy.

So I laid down thinking that the grog would lift a little bit and, probably a couple hours later, I come out of it and I have nothing, nothing. And so I came to bed, convinced that the condition I’m in is too far out, and I question if I’m going to be able to dream. And I was aware that I lacked a flow that would bring something into an acuity from within

But I could feel the pain, a subtle deep, deep inner pain, but it was so far removed that I couldn’t pull anything out of that. It was like a deep, deep wound, but I couldn’t touch that or pull anything out of. It was so far in that I couldn’t bring anything from that; couldn’t find a flow through that to bring to the surface.

So, as I laid here, then I merged with something just enough to be able to better sum up my plight, and found myself in an inner discussion, in terms of this deeper aliveness, and was told that it is all about airflow.

So by that what I mean is, this was about being able to go beyond the dense outer setness, to go beyond a density, and come to terms with accessing this deep whole within, to do so to any degree would bring me near the inner connection behind the outer stagnation.

And, in the dream, I notice that I have no trouble pacifying dangerous animals. I have a way of working with them that nobody else works with them, and I can cause them to just kind of lay back and be fine, and I’m actually concerned that what I can do with them might actually set something off, in terms of instinct and whatnot, where they could still react, but I can even handle that so that they surrender and lay back.

And I’m also, in the dream, able to work with something that goes to a deeper connective depth transmission, in other words, the energies of a father or something that has a quality that looks through as a bigger aspected process. But there is something though that doesn’t quite work yet with what is an emotional wound, a type of emotional wound, something that I hadn’t paid any attention to. And that what I have done is I have done things to myself to stab that wound, and cause that to have a bit of a demoralizing effect.

So, in terms of the big picture, I am told that this is a good time for a transition, that what is needed is not a temporary teacher to myself anymore, but a permanent teacher. And so I agree. And, of course, in working with the father all of that is pacified. Just like with the animals, everything there is very smooth, and quiet, and in a cadence.

So one realizes that one is just dealing with this singular issue. Now this part of myself that’s emotionally wounded has gone off into another room, and I get it, and so rather than leave I have to go and let this person know – this part of myself, now – that a more committed demeanor is needed, and that a stepping away is required, which will I know look like a letdown, or an abandonment, and maybe even have a bit of a demoralizing effect, but it’s important to the process and it will pass.

It’s as if I know a price has to be paid, in terms of and based upon what has happened, to where this inner depth pain needs to somehow or another be dealt with a little differently. And to continue to continue in the same motif doesn’t quite reach this inner pain. I mean it has dealt with all of this other; it doesn’t quite reach this inner pain. And, now that it has been noted, it has to be worked with in a slightly different, shifted way.

And so I say to the father, “I’m going to where he is at and establish a closure.” It is understood that if this is done right, the transition, then, will evolve in a slightly different and yet natural way, as needed, even though that might be a shock, initially, and I cannot predict how that will be, or what will be, I just know that this is a time in which that gap can be filled.

So what is going on is the process has reached the point where denser, more animalistic energies have already been pacified and the focus from above is in order. What is left, to bring the connection from an embedded emotional wound into a natural outer flow, requires a full-time commitment or a shift, in terms of which the temporary teacher to myself needs to be a more permanent teacher to myself, for the inner entrenched that’s in a subtle pain state to flow into the outer with its healing effect.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Closure

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