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Posts Tagged ‘keeping an inner balance’

John: In yesterday’s dreams (see Structural Integrity), I was shown that the old way of doing things – human history and culture – pushes a certain raw energy over everything in its path, seen in the image of the cattle herd. So when I’m going against the grain, against the herd by choosing a spiritual view of life, in order for it to be effective I have to have an inflection from within – a radiation – of my intentions.

Only such a radiation, or intention, originating in my inner self and connected to the whole of the universe, can cause an epiphany, or realization, that can allow the flow of raw energy to shift. The cattle drive cannot be stopped just by wishing or hoping, only an energetic signal, which directs the cattle to behave in a different way, can effect a real change.

That’s why it is said in spiritual pursuits that one must hold within them the energy of the change they want to see. Then the sensitivities of others can pick up that signal, whether consciously or unconsciously, and be changed by it. That’s what it means to be in service to god and creation – to radiate what they are, and what we are within them, to the things around us.

The movement of a herd mentality, again representing human culture, has lost its inner connection and moves only by the signals and energy of the surface aspects – TV, Internet, news, advertising, etc. But no one of us can run headlong into it on our own, unless we have the potent energy of our own inner connections to creation.

So, those dreams were something of an introduction. Everything doesn’t get sorted out in a few short dreams or in one night of dreaming. Since coming to Las Vegas, I’ve started to realize that I’m experiencing myself completely in an awkward state and condition, both in dealing with the crazy energy of this city externally, as well as the effect that energy is having on my inner life and balance.

I find myself feeling irritated and upset during the day, and in my dream images I have the same sense of disorientation, which my dreams are trying to help give me insight into and show me the way to rebalance myself in this new environment.

A person could easily be swept away by what goes on in Las Vegas, or anywhere in the culture, so it must be an inner choice to maintain the connections that have already been established through spiritual work.

I have to admit that the whole scenario of what I went through in my dreams felt pretty dramatic, but I know there was a lot going on in terms of an attempt to align, and to adjust, and to reach to something inside that could handle all of this. At first blush the external world of Las Vegas seems overwhelming.

Even in my sleep I was pondering, as I would drift closer to waking or fade back into sleep, if this was a type of raw energy, or a dark energy behind which could be an amazing thing. To find out, one has to, at some point, face all of this in order to get through and see what might be possible.

This caused me to ponder the idea, considering that Las Vegas is the brightest place on earth when viewed from space, “Am I trying to hold together something that is completely dispersed?” Because what I notice is that people seem to have no sensation as they walk around. They don’t know how to flow. I have to get out of their way because they fumble about as if they’re in a trance.

They’ll bump into you! It’s not just that everything is bizarre and over the top, there’s also a tremendous sense of disorientation in terms of how people seem to be. For us to be able to maintain our inner lives in this environment requires us to stay conscious – to not sleep walk within the circus – and to regain our inner balance when we are challenged by the sweep of raw, unfocused energy.

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