On a Tilt

Need13951So much of what we see around us, in terms of the way people act, in these times, is indicative of an inability to process the energies they are generating or connecting with. Rage, frustration, a sense of helplessness, these are all energetic states, or, we could say, powers. When we get powered by them, we can’t always control that power – that’s when bad things tend to happen – the things we end up regretting. This is why it’s always better to be for something, rather than against something, because even if we hate “hate,” we will still connect to the energy of hate. Better to connect to the energies of the positive things we want in the world. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: To start off in my dream, I’m dwelling upon this in terms of an uneasiness based upon the fact that I noticed that I’ve been able to open something up, or experience a lot of energy, that goes a long way in terms of having a sense that feels okay, or is even capable, or has an insightfulness in the outer. But I know that that’s not to be trusted, because that is still a way of portraying, or being. 

And as I have been noticing that I am able to move around in the outer more naturally, in other words, by that I mean just moving around with more energy and such, noticing that, and having gotten you might say addicted, or attached, or having an affinity for that, I’ve also been noticing that there comes a point when this, too, is a state or a quality that’s over the top. In other words, okay, so what, kind of thing? Enough is enough of that, as well. 

So, because I have the energy at my disposal to work with, the fact that I have shaken it out, or brought it, out or gotten it so it’s invibed into the situation, it’s as if, in terms of doing that, I can go along with this – as if it is okay, vibrationally speaking. That’s what I’m trying to convince myself with, but I can’t. And I guess the reason why I can’t is because I have this sense that all of this is a type of projection and it cloaks something deeper, within, each person being from however they are is still caught in their own projectiveness.

So there are times when my over-the-top energy is so all over the place that I can even denote a drunken quality to it, a staggering drunken quality to the energy. And when I note this drunken quality, even deeper down, I feel that behind this drunken quality is something. 

But anyway, the drunkenness, as an energetic, is like an unconsciousness too, in that both share the fact that there is more yet to go, behind that, that has to be embodied, in a way, held in a stillness in an embodiment. And, when it is, it’s grounded, and that when I am drunken, it’s stigmatic to the fact that I’ve gotten myself overwhelmed vibrationally. It’s almost like a Kundalini energy in the inner, or something, has gotten overly loud and isn’t rooted. And when I am unconscious, just like when I am drunken, almost as if they’re kind of the same, what they have in common is that you’re not keeping up with something right there in the present.

So, in other words, both are true. Vice versa is also true. Much like they are flip sides of the same coin, that whenever I’m drunken energetically, or literally, even, I am not embracing and embodying a knowingness that I touch, unconsciously, in the outer. You can really sit and kind of know what’s truly going on in terms of everything that there is, as if there is this revelational dance from the stillness. 

The dilemma I face is I am noticing that when I am able to touch unconsciousness with an innocent freedom, but not access a closeness, or be fluid vibrationally in a grounded way, I’m just not able when I do that to be grounded in a grounded way. And another way of describing the condition I am in, energetically, is, when one speeds up, I am still giving into outer as a projection, just speeded up more, where you have more dexterity and sense of being able to be over at the top, and doing so in a way that’s more than the eye can see. Yet you’re not really capable of embodying it. 

In other words, it’s just the delusionality of playing in something where the Kundalini energy comes out, per se, and you still have the physicality and the identification of that, to be very, very careful because there is a hint to why it is like that. And the hint is that this is like a type of tilt, and there’s actually a type of tenseness in this tilt, or if you have a belief system, a righteousness, which is all a type of density, it’s a type of identification, and if you sit with it, if you’re still with that, if you try to set that aside, you realize that you’re meant to be present, that there is something behind this, yet. 

And that’s why there’s a frustration; that’s why there’s a tension. That’s why there’s being a little on tilt. And why, in the heightened sense of the word, there’s even a self-consciousness there, because you haven’t shaken it out, in an overall pervasive way, the depths of a greater insightfulness, of which there’s only one depth to that, and that is the depth that is totally still. 

The image I see, that is reflective to what I am describing as an energetic dilemma, is I am meant to wear matching earrings, and not have an overly large earring in one of my ears and not the other. I mean, that’s kind of a strange image.

So the deeper meaning is behind all of this imbalance, energetically, are other levels of aliveness. In other words, that’s really the sense. That was the theme. Something behind all of this, that is something more, that one has finally gotten to the point where they have to touch these other levels of aliveness, that you have not yet reached, yet you know are there. 

And the deeper answer is, I’m not bringing into the heart a level of beingness in need of coming from inner into outer, which is the stillness, which is the mirroring.

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OumDo we realize that we are energy processing beings? If we feel restless it is because we have energy that needs to be expended. If we have anger or other emotions, those are energies that are in a state of being processed. And when we have a hard time of it, it’s because we are unable to process the energy quickly enough to prevent it from becoming toxic to our system. It’s not a mystery, it’s the way it works. When we are healthy and rested, we process energy better. And, best of all, when we are conscious of this process in us, our systems can work even more efficiently on our behalf. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I’m looking at what is a kind of evolvement in which there are aspects of kundalini. And I started off exclusively looking at it from the masculine standpoint, and then it flips to the octave of the feminine. But the subject is perceived from the standpoint of the other side. Kundalini energy perceived from the perspective of the other side.

And so my meditation dream involved the schematic as being impressed upon a sense of tangible experienciality, that was before me, as a condition, but not quite reachable; in other words, it’s off the ground. Or, in another way of saying it, it’s like an image that I’m seeing myself that is inside a container, and I am outside, or not able to touch this state. 

I’m trying to contend with everything therein that is going around and around, and I am unable to touch this to cause it to be still. Consequently, because I am unable to quite reach and touch the projected outerness, that would be still if it was pulled together, by being in-between like that, my kundalini energy is racing, and I am unable to shut off this synaptic-ness.

The way you could recreate this, in this kind of effect in a physical way, is if you take magnets that oppose each other, like a type of opposing of each other, they really attract, but that requires another flip at something. If you take two magnets that have a like kind of vibration, they tend to push each other apart, and that is a reactive zone that’s pushing like that. They really attract.

And so there’s always the apprehension of something more. And then there’s that repeller, and then you end up with going through, when you’re experiencing it in an outer way, you’re going through repeats and repeats and repeats of patterns, as you’re continually trying to break this trance – because there is a wholeness; we are all same same. There is just a One Being, and you pull the likenesses together; the magnets are pushing, trying to keep it separate. You gotta break that, and that’s breaking the kundalini entrapment.

So because I am unable to quite reach and touch an outerness to be still, my kundalini energy races and I’m unable to shut off this synaptic-ness, because you’re striving to have the likenesses. It’s an awkward way because it’s the condition of manifestation to have something set up that way. To not be able to stop, and be still, is to be restless.

This is more or less a description of how the masculine struggles to bring things all the way through. They run into that. And the feminine pulls something. So the masculine energy is like an “I need” energy, and the feminine energy is like an “I want” where it pulls something. Again, as if there is an opposite between masculine and feminine, and thus a magnetism. So when something is seeking to absorb, it’s an “I need.”

So, because I am unable to ground what lies as an image before me, my efforts to touch the reflectiveness so it will go – poof! – into a letting-go stillness, is a bewildering state. You’re ever so close, yet just out of reach sensation is the effect of kundalini racing.

The stillness is to stop, or go through, to let go to hit the stillness of this outer condition, that’s reflective, where there is that zone in-between. And that, to do so, is a letting go that is naturally quiet and still. For me to meditate is to be able to come to an inner stillness. That’s transcendent energy.

So, as a raciness inside that is just there, which was the scenario when I sat down to meditate, is to be caught up by an energetic, and from the perspective of focus, thus, unable to be quiet, unable to be still, unable to dream.

So it’s interesting, the idea of letting go leads to the quietness and the stillness because you you take in, or you absorb, something comes together there instead of repelling and creating this peculiar thing –  and that condition is kundalini, it’s a power there and you pull it together. It’s pulled together as the masculine is trying to come down, and it’s pulling together as the feminine pulls something in.

To be swept up energetically, yet unable to bring the energy into a reflective dream, is a condition the masculine complains about it when it knows it dreamt but isn’t able to pull out the dream when it opens its eyes. This is the want, and the need therein is to be grounded. And the feminine is to pull it to a closeness, i.e., to bring the transcendent vibration into an immanence.

So you have the subjective, embedded knowingness that isn’t quite accessible, because getting it to come out requires almost like an objective something occurring. And the objective something has to occur in order in order to see the subjective embedded knowingness.

And, to repeat, the energetic out-of-reachness is the condition more prominently experienced by a masculine trying to come down in an attempt to be complete. And the mood and subjective rootedness is the condition more prominently aspected by the feminine unable to break free – so she longs to be free.

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Made Manifest

233gesWe process energy, every moment of our lives. Some of it is for maintenance, like food, and air. Some of it is just in the dealing with other people’s energies, which we also need to process and let go of. And some of it is our own energies in reaction to, or relation to, what is occurring in our life. But the higher aspect of a human processing energy is to take a higher energy and bring it into the physical world. We see this when musicians connect to something and make beautiful music, or when a writer captures a universal moment in a poem. And, as humans, we can make ourselves available to manifest such energies in many forms, as compassion or kindness, or just a better way to resolve a conflict. In these ways, we manifest the higher into the lower, which allows everything to benefit from it. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The way I experienced it, first from the meditation dream, is I realized that I am able to denote, vibrationally, inner forces in life before there is an interconnected intertwining.

So what is it that I’m trying to say? I could tell when in the state of oneness, or inner state, or however you want to call it, if the ethers, that are an overall vibrational atmosphere, in other words just like there are ethers that are an overall vibrational atmosphere…

In other words, you have the outer, you have the inner, and yet then there is something more, and if the outer configuration of a dense quality nature is able to let go, so that what is going on in the overall atmosphere is able to touch, can come in, it’s like an inner coming into the outer. I’m talking about an aliveness from within that is at home; that can find itself at home in the outer.

In other words, it can touch the outer, and thus able to bring about change from within, or bring about change, in that it makes the outer which is in a bewilderment make sense, in terms of what it’s floundering about, how it’s floundering about, it pulls it together. If it doesn’t, then the vibration that one can note, or denote, inside themselves, will just kind of eventually shut down. It’ll have to go bye-bye. It can’t just keep doing what it’s doing to a person, if the person can’t handle it, or accept it, or focalize it.

In other words, then, that means that the way we take it in, in terms of our outer collective, is as if there is this part of ourselves that’s out of place, or inappropriate, in some manner, and like too speeded up or whatever, or not holding a direction conducive in manifestation – in relationship to this – because we can’t pull the two together, the subtleness from within, discernable somehow in its subtleness, as making sense in terms of our outer capacity.

I can tell if an inner intertwined aliveness of my innerness is embracing the outer. You can tell, in other words, if it is, because all of a sudden you get it. All of a sudden it’s like a light bulb moment as to what’s going on – and everything feels and makes sense. Otherwise there’s always something noodling. It’s almost as if there is no place in an outer substance way for an inner substance unfoldment to go, when you first notice this, and so it’s almost like this is an imagination, or craziness, or a kundalini thing; it’s too great a speeding up,

It can be the launching of things that are really jarring, and yet there is a way that one can assimilate that, and has to learn to assimilate that, because it’s what’s behind the denseness. It was out of an aspect of light, converted to a type of sound, that manifestation was created, and it is this substance, it is this quality, that is firing up trying to come into a manifested form.

So vibrations are an aliveness. The outer is this aliveness made manifest, in other words, to whatever degree that one is able to catch up with. Of course, it’s an aliveness made manifest on a sense level, and yet you need to have an aliveness made manifest on a level of light.

A human being is able to denote an inner aliveness trying to find the outer manifest and place to abide. You can do this, but you have to stop approaching things in this motif of senses only, outer senses only. In other words, if not embraced in this fashion, the vibrational inner aliveness remains veiled from the outer consciousness, and thus an inner/outer intertwinement in this shaping way, it gets missed.

Consciousness evokes accessing vibrations that seek recognition in an outer manifested modality. If denied entry, the vibration will go away, or float around, in the ethers. In other words eventually subsides. You might be kundalini crazy for a while, or speeded up crazy, floats around not yet born into manifestation. A human being is a conduit in which unmanifested vibrations are made manifest, and thus take on a way of being.

And so, in my sleep, I’m trying to explain this. I’m trying to figure out another way to explain something that can’t be said, that can’t be literally put down. And so in my sleep there was a whole other way that came about to explain this. And so these vibrations that have to come through and find themselves in the outer, that ground into the outer, are called the terrible 13 vibrations, just like teenage hormones, and they throw you around. That was interesting. I had the terrible 13s as they were called. How do you contend with the terrible 13s?

As I found myself writing all this up, they’re like the teenage years where one is afflicted by hormones that they have to learn how to handle in a non-crazed way. In this case, it is the kundalini energy coming through into creation, finding its home in creation. It is where the inner comes into the outer and, in this case, we are talking about a kind of secret substance. It is a vibration, the secret substance is, that needs to come home. A home, however, that is in the outer, not just in the innerness that’s intangible and unreachable, unassailable, in its expanse or something.

So to try and say this more clearly is to talk about something the senses don’t really perceive, but the higher self of one’s nature does. This is when you look at a vibration and realize that it can be made tangible, even though it’s intangible, and it’s intangible when it’s not able to be grounded in the outer.

From the kundalini energy standard, or standing out, it seems like it is something that’s just out of control, and intangible. When it gets grounded in the physical it causes the shift, because in the outer a slower denseness is kind of like in a different state of orientation, as if it’s just of a sound correlation, slowed and densed down, not quite light, in other words, or the memo is not there in a way that it needs to be, or in a way that can be seen.

Thus the challenge, how do you handle that which you can’t see? Or this inner kundalini energy that flares up, and can drive a person crazy, causing them not to be able to let go, or sleep, as this churns away trying to ground itself in the greater substance of manifestation.

When the kundalini energy is blasting the beingness, there is no reprieve in the denseness of the outer. Typically a person just endures this, and notices it, and notices how it throws them around, initially speaking, into imaginative warpage and just fit-to-be-tied conditions. Eventually you notice that the outer, and the condition that you’re in, is something that has a pain upon the heart. It hurts the heart because you’re meant to be a more inclusive, not just of a separate exclusive nature.

So this energetic innerness comes more and more into focus, and it does this in a way in which the higher-self way of being touches the heart in a way of making the one-to-one inner/outer correspondence, which has the sense of a relief. It’s as if the denser outerness notices the heart, so to speak, as this vibrational inner energetic makes sense in coming into the denser outer that is in its abstracted sort of way.

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