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Posts Tagged ‘letting go of ego indulgence’

IMG_2749The only pathway to making a spiritual journey is through the varied terrain of oneself. Spirituality is closely associated with consciousness, and to become more conscious means to shine a surveillant light on our inner workings, our mannerisms, our biases, and our fears. Then we have to re-determine whether any of those aspects belong in the person we are trying to become. That is the work of becoming what we are meant to be in this life time. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well in the beginning part of the dream, I seem to be visiting a couple of people in the hospital and going between one room and the other. And that just took kind of a gentle, flowy feeling to it. I don’t remember the details of it much, other than I go into one room to see one person and then I’d have to leave and go to another room to see another person.

And then I’ve left the hospital and it feels like I’ve met a guy that I really like. It’s like I want to go make out in the car with him, but he also tends to hang out with two or three other buddies. And then I find out that it was all just kind of a prank or a joke to them.

And so my feelings are really hurt. You know, and I kind of go off because I thought he really liked me or I really liked him. Well, then it turns out one of his buddies lets me know he really does like me, but it was all kind of a prank that got out of control, that they were kind of making fun of me or whatever.

But my feelings are pretty hurt, so I’ve distanced. And then a little time goes by and I’ve gone—again I’m visiting a building and some of his buddies from that prank, come in the building and everybody assumes I’m over all of this, but I really am still kind of pining for this guy.

And so my interactions with him in the building, when they’re there visiting, whatever’s going on, it’s a shop of some kind, are kind of evasive, or they’re on the level of my acting like everything’s okay when I’m actually not feeling okay. And I’m sad about it all, and I’m kind of longing for him.

And so, then, I want to leave and go find him without being obvious about it, and yet on another level I feel like maybe he’s moved on; I’m not sure. So I’ve gone outside and I’m looking to see if he is still in a car like he was before. One of his friends is trying to catch up with me to find out what’s going on and that’s about all I remember of the dream.

John: And this was after the crash, right?

Jeane: It’s all after the crash.

John: The first part was the wispy part, where you’re in kind of a hospital scenario?

Jeane: No, visiting some people in the hospital.

John: You’re visiting some people in the hospital. This dream all incorporates the crash. It all incorporates what I just said earlier, even.

In other words, this part that you said was real wispy—you visiting people in the hospital and it’s all kind of la-la-la—that’s what’s really important. That’s where you’re helping something. That’s where you’re extending outside of your personal, that’s where you’re being real, that’s what it’s all about.

But then you get jarred out of that. In other words, instead of holding that space, which is important, you get all concerned about your self-image. In other words, the closeness and the depth of that gets somehow or another twisted for you. That is the whole thing where you’re helping and working in a way that’s fixing things because this is a hospital-type setting and whatnot.

And you’re doing it in the whole and it’s really wispy according to you, as an aspect of the dreaming, because it doesn’t have that tremendous dynamic that you get when you have got all kinds of commotion going on that’s real loud. And, apparently, a part of you kind of likes all of that commotion because the rest of your dream took that into account, and ran that up the flagpole as if that was important in terms of whether you’re appreciated, or respected, or liked.

And so you’re getting into this negative side of the prostitute-archetype quality of your nature that you have to go through, or figure out, in which you feel deprived in some fashion and, as a consequence, you keep rolling this window or door over and over and over again in terms of trying to sort your way through that.

And last night you did a very interesting job in that you spent 90% of your time feeling sorry for yourself, and pondering this, and being righteous, and feeling rejected, and still at the same time having these extended feelings that go out and whatnot, all to the exclusion of the part of yourself in the dream that was functioning in a way that was most real: that was helping people, that was working in the hospital dynamic, and the whole bit.

So you did an excellent job of incorporating the shock of the crash, and what that does, into the dream. And, you know, had you held the note properly, it would have been like I mentioned at the very beginning, you would have looked at what was important as the work, or the process, of yourself being something that is in the whole, in which you are everything, and you wouldn’t have let the personification get the better of you – aspect of waywardness – and you would have continued on with what you call wispy dreaming.

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Inner-Focus-Maryanna-Bock1John’s dreams challenge him to not procrastinate in his pursuit of deeper inner levels. Reaching new levels of inner connection requires a person to push beyond the personal resistances that limit, or veil, access to greater knowing. A consistent inner focus can merge consciousness with what is important in a process. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my dream I deal with instead of an overallness, I have to look at it in detail of how something unfolds, in other words, the particularities. If I can abide by the particularities I might be able to be involved, or work with, a greater Wholeness.

And those particularities have to do with seed thoughts and images that come down on many levels, and that I have to be comfortable with all of those different levels. For the feminine there’s a way of just letting go, and all of those levels can just be there. The masculine impact, or effect, in all of that has it taking and looking at how those various levels have to be included, or recognized, or taken in simultaneously for something to unfold in a bigger way.

In the first dream, I’m compelled to prove that I can still answer assignment questions for a class that’s going to happen tomorrow. In other words, it’s in the evening, and I think I had better things to do so I could put this off, but I’m out of time because this is apt to happen tomorrow and if I don’t deal with it now, it won’t get done.

The hardest part is getting started, or addressing the first issue right at the beginning. And so, whenever something is pent up like that, you’re never sure that you can take it on or get through that challenge. It’s almost as if it becomes a force that, by not facing it, becomes an even larger barrier.

When I did do this, however, and I got through it, which was the first part of a three-part thing in front of me, I feel I am entitled to a rest or a break. And so in trying to convince myself that I’m entitled to this, I act as if the rest can wait, and so it’s time for a break before I tackle the rest.

I had the resolve that was pent up at the beginning, and after expending that resolve, I could have easily justified or rationalized a break, but somehow I keep persevering. And to my surprise, I get through with the rest of this stuff far more quickly than I would have expected.

It’s like the hardest part was just getting going at the start. I found the last question to actually kind of be the easiest in that to answer that I had to look at it from the perspective of three different levels. And so on each level there was a one word answer, and it required that I take in each level’s energetic and, in doing so, could feel that, could merge with what that was about, and respond accordingly.

Now each level of course has a different frame of reference, or vibration, that makes up an aspect of the environment. So the answer to the last challenge, to prove that I have it in me to face this issue straight up, or vibrationally, as necessary, the first thing I do is I write down one, two, and three, just like first grade, second grade, and third grade. I then provide one word answers for each level and, in doing this, I prove to myself that I had this access.

Meaning the hardest part is confronting a problem that lies directly in my path. Putting it off weakens me, and I remain unready for what is to come. It isn’t enough to prove that I can get through the first phase of a task, I must keep on persevering or I will not pull it all the way through as needed.

In other words, if I push through, and prove that I can make it happen in a timely manner, in doing that I’m able to see how something actually is, energetically, and I’ll add or reach to distinct levels of consciousness as opposed to just sitting on a given particular level of happy-go-lucky easy goingness, and pressing on because this needs to be done before tomorrow’s class because something is apt to come up in which this will now have to be included as part of a process.

I surprise myself at being able to see what lies on these other levels of conscious existence, which is now actually also a part of the process that I’m in.

And then in another dream, I have something before me that has value and meaning. What I do not know is from what point in time it is, and who was king back then, who was leader of the country back then?

To know this is to access a barrier that stands in the way of appreciation and acceptance, which is a type of merging. At first I am at a loss and then someone gives me a hint by providing what turned out to be a good guess about who it was, and what era of time this is from, because I have no way of knowing if this is right.

Once I have the hint that it’s not necessarily what I think, to get to the bottom of it I have to take a look. To do that I have to shift into the point of inner reference that corresponds with the object’s place and time. I determine that Pendragon was indeed the king or ruler when the gold was coined and in so determining awaken that awareness and bring it through.

So in this dream and the prior dream, I am compelled to find a focus that is from an inner depth. In doing so I penetrate veils, which have a way of keeping me from reaching other inner levels of awareness.

In the first dream it would be easy to stop to take a rest, or in the second dream to make a best guess. I can identify the issue or questions required to reach, as a focus, something on the inner, but before I can access the answers I have to merge with that inner space, and in doing so, shift to a knowingness that comes from these different levels. It’s automatic. It’s actually very simple. The hard part is breaking through whatever stands in the way of making that shift.

The meaning is I need a consistent focus, which merges my consciousness with what is important in a process. I can’t get wayward or complacent or I will stifle the process, and I must be focused even when the timing is off. If I get scattered or self conscious, the energetic connection also can shatter. Whenever I get like that I must reconnect to an inner composure and, when necessary, start again. Only in this way can I help in the facilitation of a process.

I can’t have an opinion about the flow, or that will get in the way. I have to be surrendered to be fully attentive and inner connected with the system and, of course, I can’t be indulgent in the system either.

 
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An alien takeover? Perhaps, but in a good way. Jeane’s dream involves both the common experience of seeing to the details of a party, and the uncommon need to seduce an alien force. These images also open up the process of dreaming itself, where the struggle is often about incorporating new energies. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my dream it feels like there’s been a dominant force on the planet, and I’m trying to take over from it. This all will occur at a party, so it’s like at the house that I’m going to be at.

It’s kind of like a party and a seduction, so I’m getting set up for the party and I’ll have different people coming in and catering and setting up the type of food they serve in different rooms. So I’ve gone there and I’ve checked it out; I’m looking in all the different rooms and seeing how the food’s going to be set up and things.

And then I’ve left the building and gone out a little bit from the town to an area that has more barren rock that maybe looks over the ocean. And what’s there are the aliens that are kind of invading or trying to take over.

And the aliens look kind of like… they don’t look like people at all. They’re some kind of animate shape on the ground, that’s large and has organs sticking out, and they move along. Well, I’ve been told that the way to deal with these aliens is to seduce them, but you have to figure out how to do this. So I go back to where the party is.

I’m actually going to start trying to do this a little sooner than had been anticipated, or before the party is scheduled, and to instruct other people how to do it. So I finally find someone that explains to me and I say well, if this whole thing is like you seduce them, how do you do that because they’re not shaped like we are?

Someone tells me that actually you can take your hands and you can shape them. In other words, you can just shape their body parts to seduce them. So they’re explaining this to me, and that’s when I woke up.

John: What’s happening is your primary attention is placed upon the dominant force that’s there, that affects things as you try to live, or do, or enjoy, or participate in life. It’s like you’re consumed by outer conditions when you attempt to appreciate the overallness of life.

The thing is, is you have now identified another force that doesn’t make sense in terms of all of your normal, ordinary dreaming, because you typically dream about some dominant force, for example, and then how it is that you’re supposed to cope, or how you are intended to relate – and therein lies the mystery.

It’s as far as it usually gets, and then that energetic can have its shadow dynamics and all of that sort of thing, that are in the way, in terms of keeping you caught in an illusion. And that’s the general pattern that one is initially, and usually, and for the longest time, aware of.

You know, that you’re dealing with something chasing you, or you’re dealing with having to resolve that, or to be caught, or to put it together in some fashion. Now however you’re taking and you’re bringing in an alien force. This is the first time you’ve done that.

You’re bringing in yet another force, and what is that about? This is a dream in which there’s another level that you’re having to take into account now. It’s this alien force and the alien force has an ability to shift and shape things. In other words, it can be any old which way. And with this is some process of absorption.

It’s interesting how you’re looking at this force in terms of how you have to relate to it, or how this is now the greater you, an awareness that you now have to recognize is also part of yourself.

The reason why this is a tricky dream is that it seems, on the level inside yourself, that this other whole part, that’s the usual dynamic, that in some fashion you have to contend with, is no longer that big of an issue.

You presented it as the usual factor, but then you went and all of a sudden you’re consumed by having to deal with another factor. And what you have to do in this dream is you really have to take and look at how you see this other factor. You mention how it shifts, it can change, there’s something about absorbing it. In other words, it has a completely different and alien effect, so now you have to deal with this new mannerism in terms of how it affects things reflectively, but behind that reflection is a depth that it carries.

Your dream doesn’t really tell you much about the depth that it carries. It just tells you about how it affects you in general at this time, and from that, in terms of looking at the reflections that are stimulated, you’ll come to see what this other kind of reflection is about. The thing that will keep you from seeing it, will be any degree of indulgence you still have to have, that has to do with, in the density of things, the sorting out with the shadow effect and all of that, to any degree that that still presides on the stage of things, you won’t actually be then aware of this alien force in a whole other level of reflection that is also you on yet a greater level of awareness.

You won’t be aware of that, because you live in a world in which the more dense aspects of things predominate. And if that’s all it is that you are able to see, or you find yourself having to sort out the issues of the first part of the dream, then there’s no room for this second part, which is a lot subtler, and a lot quieter, and a whole other alien, as you would say, space that shifts and changes even in its appearance as your first sense of it and looking at it in a greater overall way.

You’re not going to be able to note that going on at the same time. It is, and is always going on at the same time, but you’re not going to be able to note it if you’re having yet to indulge in terms of your process with this other.

When you presented this dominant force you, didn’t really present it with the same kind of effect where that was the only thing. In other words, you’re already shifting to this alien part so the appearance is that this is a whole new area, a whole other reflective area, for you to have to bring yourself into coming to grips with.

The dream is not as poignantly loud as it would be if it was a masculine dream, because you’re just portraying something new at this point in time, in the overallness, that you have to somehow or another take into account.

And a masculine way of looking at it but you have to look at the specifics and the details. You’re probably not really clear yet on what the alien characteristics really are in terms of its overall mannerism. I mean, you mention a couple things and that’s your general overall perception, but is that quite the full story?

Because this dream is so overall that it’s almost as if to really grasp the shift that is meant to be there, you might need to bring in some other characteristics about it, and then how you feel it in the overall will, in terms of taking that in, cause you to realize the importance of this shift that is being proposed with this alien force that you don’t know, that is important for you to make in this next stage of transition of yourself.
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