Posts Tagged ‘letting go of personal attachments and patterns’


Willie Holdman

This dream begins with the image of an idyllic setting, in a meadow by a stream, but the dreamer cannot fully be in the beauty and naturalness of the moment. Yet we could also apply this to our view of the everyday: we find ourselves on a planet where everything we need is provided, and each day, each moment, is energetically different from the last, but still beautiful, and fascinating, in the experience of it. So what is all this “stuff” we have put in the way of our engagement with the natural perfection around us, personally or as a species? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in my first dream, my meditation dream, I am unable to enjoy the outer flow, like everyone else, because I’m holding onto issues and this is keeping me pent up. I don’t even know what the issues are that I’m holding onto.

And so the image is: I’m kind of in a nice meadow setting, out in nature, and there is a stream, and a river, and the sun is just perfect and really nice out. And ordinarily you would look at the water and you’d say, well, it’s too cold to get in the water, but not only is everyone around me getting in the water, in other words, even though it’s a country setting and kind of quiet and peaceful, there are people and they have come to this area and they’re getting in the water.

And those that have dogs are taking the dogs in the water, and the dogs really are loving the water, too. And it’s like not only are they having a good time, but the dogs are having a good time in the water; it’s just like this whole thing has a whole redeeming process.

In this dream, those who are going in the water, and taking their dogs and everything in the water, were just letting go into a free flow. And even though I was pulled to wanting to test water myself, to see if it was too cold and whatnot, I had some sort of pent-up nature that I just couldn’t shake.

It’s not that I knew what the pent-up nature was. I couldn’t put my finger on the pent-up nature even, but it was something that had me in some sort of tiff, or a mood, or something, and holding back as if by holding back I’d eventually figure it out – but there was nothing on the horizon showing that I was figuring it out. And what was obvious is what I was missing.

And, at one particular point, I kind of let go or something a tiny bit and I threw myself in the water, clothes, shoes, and everything on, and realized, yeah, the water’s wonderful. It’s not as cold. But nope, I still had my nuances, I still had my pent-upism, and I had to come out of the water.

And so what I’m portraying is a quality of bewilderment, and you have this in the out-breath when you’re at a point where you can’t quite sort things out. You are overwhelmed by something that you aren’t able to put your finger on yet.

I’m inclined to be affected by something that is vague to me, that I’m not able to quite catch up with and properly recognize, so I’m inclined to be carrying some sort of nuance trying to find some sort of focus and attention, which, when I find it, supposedly that leads to a balance, so that I can then just appreciate things as they are. And so I’m not quite able to free flow, or let go.

The meaning I write up is that my resolve is being tested. You know, that’s kind of what the outer is all about, to see if you can get closer to something. The question is: can I let go of nuances that, like an inner resolve that I cannot reach, are keeping me from enjoying life in a free flow way? I need to break free of some sort of trance that I am in. The pent-up demeanor is blocking a connection, and I need to let go of that to free flow.

This sort of letting go, or whatever the kind of letting go is that I have to do, that would lead to a natural free flow, will not only relieve me of what I am holding onto, but it supports the free flow and naturalness that is predominating in the surrounding environment. But the natural condition, the primordial naturalness, is askew.

The reason why I’m putting this pressure upon myself, and the reason why I’m acting like this, is it’s like one is directed into the physical to sort and get closer to something. There’s a responsibility to catch up with something. And you carry around a kind of awkward bewilderment  because you’re trying to get into the outer and you can’t. In other words, you can’t quite catch up with whatever this responsibility is.

In other words, therein lies the confusion, and my condition defies the natural letting-go process to a free flow because I am not breaking free of a stigma trance I am in. Until I either let go of this pent-up condition, or catch up with it and own it, I am unable to be naturally free to enjoy the flow and wonderful setting, or conditions, that are permeating the atmosphere for all to see but me.

It’s an awkward, bewildering, condition to have to be in, where I could jump in the water and feel wonderful, but I can’t quite let myself do it because I’m still carrying some sort of nuance or mannerism. That’s painful, that’s really bizarre to have to carry that. There’s a sadness in that.

And this continues into the next dream, it’s repeated again, in that in the next dream there was a time when I was able to see what time it was on a watch. In other words, it’s like somehow or another I’ve gone distant so that, as I glance, I can’t necessarily see the watch anymore. And I can maybe make it out a little bit, but I could get it wrong. Instead of it being, say, 2 o’clock, I might read it as 3 o’clock or something. In other words, there’s a gap, or a distance, that has developed.

In other words, something has changed, like I’m further away. And so I say, in the dream, “I’ve got to be able to read the dials on a watch. So much depends upon getting that right. I can’t be guessing.” So, in the dream, others actually expect me to be able to tell the time. In fact, I’m being relied upon for that.

And so the meaning is, in the dream, over the passage of time, I have gotten ungrounded. In other words, just like I couldn’t go into the water because I couldn’t let go of something, in that sense I’m ungrounded. I’m in a bewildered state. I haven’t sorted out the thought-upon-thoughts that are compelling, that haven’t made themselves known to where they could be let go of into an empty space. That empty space can be in the out-breath to in-breath, too, and so I’m meant to know the balance and timing.

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JourneytWe might use the phrase: it’s as natural as breathing. If we do breathing exercises with a roomful of people, everyone ends up on a similar frequency of breath – which creates a type of closeness between the people. And it seems that all forms of planetary life take advantage of breathing the oxygen in the atmosphere in some way, shape, or form. And perhaps the cycle of seasons are a process of in-breath and out-breath for the planet herself. On the deeper, inner levels, we know, too, how to breathe with the universe. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My sleep dream, that corresponded to that, had my name being called out several times in the night. And each time that it was called out, whatever it was that I could’ve woken up to and tried to write up, I would’ve written up in the modality as if I am pounding my way through to a recognition. And, instead, what was going on was each time that this happened was an attempt to draw out of me – whether you would call it a jerk, not necessarily – to draw out of me what was already known.

In other words, to get me to wake up and recognize what I already see inside. When I rattle the cages, as if I am trying to probe, or understand, something, I’m always toitering with some aspect of motion within the breath. But when I really let go, there is an acuity that comes and just lifts something in, and out, and through, as a quality of stillness.

That’s why I guess I’ve come to realize that I don’t really know how to meditate. I just am fortunate to be able to sit and go somewhere, and, when I go somewhere, it comes out of somewhere deep inside of myself. I don’t project myself to it. I don’t do anything to cause it to get there.

If I do anything, it is to figure out how to let go of the loudness that is around me. and the only tools I have to let go of that is to quit putting attention upon those projections of a loudness, as something that drowns everything else out.

And so the art of the breath has to do with the vibration that exists, in the breath, that one catches up with outside of the bifurcation that we have done to linearize it, in some way, shape, or form. Now we make it linear when we put on the breath a mood, when we put on the breath an attitude, when we put on the breath a thought. That makes it linear; or a fear, or anything like that.

So, when we look to a letting go there is a stillness, and in that stillness there is tremendous energy. And that tremendous energy, the catching up with that, is what causes us to really let go to the stillness. The principle of putting everything on the breath, or inside of one’s self, onto a principle of love is a quality of that principle of catching up with the stillness – a stillness that is, as a stillness, a tremendous source of vibration that generally speaking is more than what we, in our defense mechanistic world of in-breath and out-breath, are able to handle.

When you are really, really dreaming at a real, real deep depth inside yourself, the danger that exists is you stop breathing. You can go into the stillness and maybe forget that you have to breathe.

So it’s an amazing science that a person breathes, and yet is in the stillness. That somehow or another is the challenge in life. And to do things with an attention upon the breath, the in-breath and the out-breath, per se, causes a kind of magnetism that isn’t on the level of stillness. You need it to be from a level of stillness, the letting go, otherwise it is a means of bicycling around and functioning in a duality, in the duality of reflections.

So teaching that has to do with adhering to the breath, as opposed to adhering to something behind the breath, gets you in trouble. So like if you hear inner music inside, and you listen to the inner music instead of letting go to that and be swept up by that, you are dangerously close. When listening to just the music, you’re dangerously close to also then being attentive to the breath. And when you’re attentive to the breath you’re trying to blend the breath of in and out, up and down, yo-yoing with the music. It doesn’t work that way. Letting go involves letting go to the stillness place.

And so this was the theme of the dreaming last night. The sleep dream just had to do with me recognizing that the idea that there is something to see, and do, and get others to realize that they don’t already know, just perpetuates the amnesia and the in-breath/out-breath way of projecting.

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let-it-go48So, we have realized that it is not our responsibility to save the world, or to save anyone else. But saving ourselves is another matter, because, as we let go, we come to understand that what we can control is the energetic ecology within our aura, and it is that ecology which is invitational to higher things, if our intentions, and actions, have a purposeful alignment. And, when higher energies connect to our aura, then good things can happen to the people and things around us. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I only remember one dream. In this dream I seem to go over to a house, and it’s kind of a quiet, tree-lined street in a town, and I see in the house, but then I go down into a basement, like a daylight basement type, and they have a politician there, and I think his secretary. And we’re all going to be going to a meeting later, and they have given me some papers and some forms that somebody else has to sign, that’s an authority, that will be discussed at this meeting we’re all going to later.

And then I leave, and I go to the man who’s supposed to sign the papers, who looks just like Harry Reid, and he lives in another house. And it feels to me like I’m kind of the new person among this whole group, but when I’m just with him I tell him that there’s something about this whole deal that’s going to be signed that there’s something wrong with it, and I kind of point out to him what’s wrong with it and why I think he shouldn’t sign it, or he ought to get certain things changed before he would sign it, because there’s something not all kosher about it.

And then I go to the meeting with them and I leave the papers there. And then the meeting’s over, or I leave before the meeting’s over because it feels like the Harry Reid character, and the other man and the woman that’s with him, that’s kind of like a secretary, they all know about all these political things, but I’m kind of just new.

Well, the next day, then, I think the Harry Reid character, and maybe the gal that was listening, like the secretary, they come over and they give me some papers that I’m supposed to take to the man who’s house I visited in the first place. And they’re the papers that had gone to the meeting the other day – and then I see that Harry had signed them, even though I kind of said that once you signed them they weren’t really what everyone said they were. I’m not sure what’s going on now, because he acted like he knew there was something wrong with the deal, and yet he went ahead and signed it anyway.

So I want to go over to the house and find out more what’s happening, but I walk outside the house and I see some people upstairs that are the first man’s relatives. I don’t quite want to go barging in. I go looking for the basement, but then I just seem to wander away, because I’m just confused by the whole situation because it’s like people kind of ask for advice, or they look to see what’s going on, and yet they don’t listen.

John: What you’re describing is a process, and the process has multiple steps to it. Like in a process you can have something that’s all out-breath oriented, which means it’s a certain loudness that comes down with thoughts and whatnot, and it conjugates into being condensed as an outer effect. And that it can predominate its influence.

And then you can have an inner that takes and lets go of everything, and that’s important from the standpoint that it creates the contrast that shows that something can turn from something dense into something that’s more translucent, or like light.

And then you can have the various levels on the way that have to do with taking and facilitating the unfoldment. And the levels along the way are levels that come into being as a consequence of consciousness unfolding. It’s like steps you take.

And so, in terms of describing steps that are taken, you jump right into the way you are looking at things in a particular step way, and you start off with the master approach of trying to come to grips with something in the outer, in keeping with how it needs to be changed, or altered, or affected in a way that’s most copasetic to an unfoldment process. And you have an effect in this way, in terms of the design, in terms of how something can be more or less shaped. But it’s also based upon you having a sense of whether something is right or wrong, in terms of your level of looking at things, or your way of looking at things on this level, which is in accordance with your best understanding – given the circumstances.

In other words, you are working with a conduct that reaches out from yourself, and yet then brings it back into yourself for inflection purposes. So this is an energetic that’s proactive in terms of the consciousness, and whenever you’re proactive in any kind of way about anything that is going on there is still trepidation, there’s still up and downness, in terms of one’s nature. It’s because you’re still kind of playing with a cohesiveness that has to do with both the inner and the outer. You play with this cohesiveness as you come to grips with learning more and more of the intricacies of the refined breath, because all of this was played out on the level of the breath.

Somehow the up and downs or the back and forthisms of things, that just aren’t quite right and whatnot, somehow you’re trying and able to kind of shift a bit and look at it in terms of a whole other kind of cohesion, and that is that it just doesn’t seem to go anywhere to try to fix this. It just seems to be a prevailing situation.

And so a greater sense of you is catching up with the fact that perhaps it is like that, it has the appearance of that, it has the momentum of that, it actually hurts the heart to struggle to try to cause it to come across differently. So you come to recognize that this is something that is meant to be.

And so in the very end you find yourself stepping aside. Now that’s a shift into a recognition that what is taking place is greater than any kind of conceptualization that you, with physical senses,  limited to how those senses are best able to cope in the physical, you’re very limited in that capacity.

Yes, you have this other depth that’s deeper and deeper within, but to access that you have to let go to the will, and to the flow, of something that, when it flows through you, you’re able to let it be. But if it hits on any level of greater density, like the very first thing that I described, or a quality of your conceptualizations on an angelic way, which is the second, you could get caught either in the first as coming down too linearly – like a masculine use of energy is inclined to be, with its ideas and such – or you can be too effusive, in terms of the way you are willing to hold things in some sort of capacity of purity, which is more the angelic and the in-breath.

And yet you, in your dream, are portraying this on another level yet, that has already taken into account those two components, and is now trying to figure out how to work with those two components. And the working with the in-breath and the out-breath, to begin with, requires a lot of catching up with the really, really, really subtle vibrations behind the breath, which happens the more you go up and down, and up and down, and up and down with the breath.

And so as you become more of a, so to speak, old soul, in which you recognize that there is a plan, and design, that is far beyond what you could possibly grasp, and that your reactions this way, and that way, only after a course of time you come to know that they are fairly futile, or don’t necessarily change anything, you come to realize that there is a way of feeling something inside of yourself, in a letting go way, that actually can put you in touch with a will, and unfoldment, as it is designed and meant to be – and that’s where you’re shifting to, at the very end.

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