Posts Tagged ‘letting go of personal identity’

IMG_32Here is a dream that has Jeane confronting one of the most difficult issues in a spiritual journey: letting go of the idea that what happens in life is personal to us. Yes, it may happen to us personally, but in the end, those events don’t matter. What does matter is, how can we let go of our idea of personal identity and merge with the Wholeness of creation? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I just pulled out my last dream. I was pretty tired after a long drive.

In that dream it’s like there’s a man who runs his own business, and there are actually two women he’s seeing, one who’s kind of helping him in the business, but doing so from a sense of a little insecurity and trying to establish her place, maybe even get him to marry her, and there’s another woman who comes in and it feels like she’s kind of his shadow, with a similar dynamic but maybe not as much power. 

I seem to come on the scene and the other woman had been hoping the man would marry her, but I know the man and I will be married. But meanwhile it’s like at first she’s trying to keep me out some by kind of making statements like, I don’t really even understand the quarterlies – and she’s right in a way. 

I mean, I can come in and I can look at the quarterlies and stuff at some point, but there hasn’t been any reason to do that. The man wants me to come in the office and scratch his back while they’re meeting, and I think that’s presumptuous. 

I think I do it, but I’m annoyed, and I just see all of this chaos going on and how we’re relating and it feels like then I feel like have to kind of suck it up and start establishing some order there, because sometimes an old pattern would be to take a feminine like that and kick her out, but on the other hand she has worked in the business, and she’s done something, so even if I establish my place there should be a place for her, too. 

It’s just going to be a bit of work, for sure, and there are little things they’re doing to sabotage me now and then that I have to be aware of and sidestep. And then the man’s being, the masculine’s being kind of presumptuous and I have to do something about that, too, so it just feels like my dream included a lot of work.

John: Well, for some strange reason you make some sort of bigger deal than you’re supposed to, and you need to quit doing that – in terms of appearances, or a type of indulgence.

It’s almost as if you make something out of that as if it means something else, and whatever you do in terms of that, if you’re not careful, you orient your life around that, and that limits who you are, and that precludes you from being free, because then your energetic gets subordinate to the characteristics and qualities of such a nature that you are holding and projecting as a type of aliveness that will make your life meaningful.

Well, the thing of it is, is in the dream you are finding yourself nauseated by that. And it’s as if maybe you’ve spent your lifetimes doing something like this, and you now know that this sort of supporting of something, for a particular kind of well being, demeans a greater trait inside of yourself that can just come out and do something on its own for what it is.

And so you’re coming to recognize, you’re coming to look at the components of what you had always done in relationship to this other part that has its own sense, from which is emerging some sense on its own, to take on a dynamic that is who you really are, that you’ve never given yourself quite the permission to do because you have kept yourself in some sort of subjective conceptualization in terms of what would, and needed, to ultimately unfold.

And now you realize – the heck with those notions or ideas. That just keeps you in some sort of trance. And that you can take and, for a change of pace, drop all of that because of the nausea you see all around you in terms of things like that, and then it’s as if as soon as that drops away a whole other dimension, or dynamic, is able to open up in terms of how you’re able to live.

Isn’t that interesting?

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Things are changing. Energies on the planet are shifting. These current times require a different approach, and part of that approach is in finding a location inside ourselves that can hold an emptiness where something new can unfold. We are poised in time, similar to the moment when one wave recedes from the shore, yet before the next wave comes in. In this interval, we must hold an openness and inner balance while we await further instructions. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: This dream takes place in the jungle, and it feels like because we watched science fiction movies yesterday, aliens have invaded. And so different groups are hunting each other in the jungle.

And one of the things that we do, we’re a small group of people, is we go out as kind of like a decoy. And so we’ll have a few people out there in the jungle and then you kind of try to entice the other side to attack you and you capture them – if you don’t get captured yourself.

The problem is that if you’re out there in the jungle, and you’re either being the decoy or you’re being the group attacking them, they may end up being friendlies, in which case you can join together and be stronger, or they’ll be aliens in which case there’s a battle.

Sometimes some people can morph to look like the opposite of what they are, and so the first two times I have the dream we’re friendlies, and if other people attack us who are like us then we can join together, and if the aliens attack us we can entice them in and do battle,

But then the third time I dream the dream, the people that look like us are actually aliens that have disguised themselves. But I seem to know this right away, and so I guess that’s one of those skills you have to know, that no matter what it looks like you have to know what they really are.

John: Which is the condition of things in the outer when people are confused and lost. In other words, they can look one particular way, but what they really understand and consciously are able to take in, is something entirely different.

And so you’re finding that you’re having to cope with life in which that which is relatable is something in which there’s a similitude, or an intertwining, that has to do with the way you are able to find yourself and feel yourself in relationship to the Whole.

And so as you proceed in what is kind of a mayhem of energetics in the Wholeness of life, you’re able to tell that which is expansive and adds something to you, which is like a friendly, and that which may look like you and may seem like you, but isn’t yet quickened or awakened to be able to respond or to integrate and thus is, and can have, the sensation of being like an enemy. Or you can have the compassion and recognition that they just are what they are and that you are able to function in a different space, so that you’re not affected by them.

In other words, the dream is having you look at the contrast of how something can, in one regard, connect and link and be touched, and in another regard be something that is hostile and foreign or alien.

The difference basically is, in terms of looking at this being sides of yourself, the difference is the degree to which you are able to hold onto that interval or space that has a connection with all that exists in an undifferentiated manner. That interval and space is where the inner turns to the out-breath.

To the degree to which you don’t, on an energetic level, hold onto that space, you see yourself then as having to figure out who the friendlies are, and who the hostiles are. And you see yourself as in a universe, or world of energy, in which you hold yourself in such a way so that you draw things to you, and sort it out that way, or you go the opposite direction and you proceed out, and reach out, to touch or to poke things and in each interval you have to quickly be on guard if it is something that is foreign or alien.

It may look like you, but isn’t able to be like you. This is also your way of being able to see in life that, energetically speaking, where there is a cohesion that can come together as if light recognizes light, or likeness recognizes likeness, and the dilemma of this dream is that there’s actually a space in which none of that needs to affect you one way or another.

That is the overall space, true, and it is what exists out there. And of course it would be extremely confusing if you were having to understand this strictly based upon the reflections in which what you’re able to sort out and understand over here, will not make any sense in terms of what is happening next over there, and that all of this will be most confusing in terms of looking at it in terms of social, economic, or spiritual.

To make sense out of it, you have to be at the point where whatever there is that’s in existence, or in manifestation, is just acceptable to you because you sit in this interval before manifestation, or a setness, is able to take in, which is the interval between in-breath and out-breath.

It’s in this area of a nothingness or emptiness from which everything is essentially created, but then there is this moment in this interval where the switch, or the change agents, the evolution, however you want to say that, is not yet designed, or set forth.

And so when it’s like that, if you’re able to be in this space, you can be turned this way or that way, expanded or contracted, hit by light or dark, and be able to just go with the flow without your mind getting caught up in whether this is right or wrong, or whatever the usual nuances are that tear and twist a person up.

You’re able to accommodate that because there has been no divine decision or determination upon which to set the clock of manifestation, and so it sits in a type of momentary limbo. Now, the time of when that turns into maybe the next round of things, or the next setness of life going forward, or in which there is kind of a linkage or connection that comes back in as a collective quality of light, that hasn’t happened yet.

Instead the light of the old era has ended, so that the values that are possible in terms of the inner light to the outer manifestation can’t evolve or shift. That state exists for who knows how long because the aspect or consequences of time and space do not yet come into play when you’re at this interval between the inner and the outer.

Ultimately of course they will come back into play, but right now you have no out-breath that brings the seed down, nor do you have an in-breath that takes something back that keeps the cycles of creation viable.

And so in your dream, the degree to which you’re able to gracefully be in this space, the degree to which you struggle to be gracefully in this space, is presented by the way you attempt to orient yourself in terms of, on one hand trying to draw something to you almost as a setup, as a baiting, all the time cognizant that it may not be like you and it might be an enemy or a hostile.

Or flipping it around that you can take an initiative and go out and stalk something knowing full well that you might creep up on something that looks like you, but isn’t like you, that, in other words, just doesn’t have what is necessary as a light from which something can happen.

This description of what and of how you are looking at it is reflective of how it is that you are existing. In other words, you could exist in this interval where the inner and the outer have not yet… something hasn’t clicked yet and it’s just a nothingness and emptiness that encompasses it all before the next play or round begins.

You could be sitting there, but you’re not quite actually totally sitting there. You’re being thrown, you’re yo-yoing about, you’re bicycling about, trying to figure out how to make the best of it, where you have an inkling but you haven’t gotten the full download or the full letting go.

This is a quality of letting go, and the degree to which you aren’t quite doing it so you’re still having your nuances and your reactions, because you’re still buying into something instead of just the pure essence of that interval.


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In a spiritual journey, the process of letting go of our established patterns, mannerisms, fears, or defense mechanisms is crucial to our ability to be in the flow of creation. In Jeane’s dream sequence, we see her trying to make a journey, or a shift to something new. But to make that shift, she must leave unnecessary baggage behind. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: I remember one dream, and it feels like I’m going to have to travel with a couple other people, one of whom is a slender, young woman. And the way we choose to travel is that we have this animal that looks almost like a camel with a longer, flatter back, so the three of us can ride on it.

The girl particularly is kind of nervous; even the camel is not certain sometimes – whatever this animal is. At one point we get to this area where it’s almost like we have to walk over a fairly thin piece of land that even has some crevices in it, and everything has fallen away on several slides ,and there are about three segments of it.

The camel may have to get across almost with a little jump or something, and everybody is a little nervous about it, even the camel is a little nervous about getting across. So there’s all this maneuvering to kind of stay on, or maybe even one or two get off for a while to see if we’re going to make it. And then we’re going to have to get from this strange looking piece of land over to the mainland, so to speak, with a little jump.

Well, the girl, then, she’s suddenly uncertain because the outfit she’s wearing is a little short, and she’s uncertain she can actually ride this camel and get off it and look dignified because maybe she doesn’t have any underpants on or something like that. I try different things. I finally end up picking her up and carrying her, and getting the camel to kind of jump over to the other side.

Then, because I’m carrying her and I realize what her dilemma is because she wants to feel modest or whatever, I search around in my mind and it must be a time before they had invented those clothes where you have like a dress that goes over pants. I’m figuring I have to get to a village and I guess we’re going to invent that then. We are going to get her some silk pants that come down like they do in India, you know, like down to your knees or whatever that you wear under a dress, so she can feel like she can travel and things like that.

John: What’s interesting in the dream is that, because this is a dream in which you are transitioning from a place where you had been to a new place, what’s interesting about it is that you’re not doing it alone.

It’s like you have these other parts of you, and I guess you’re including these other parts of you in order to help to facilitate and make a point. And the point is that, part of making this adventure across, you have to let go of appearances in terms of whether it’s right, or not right.

It was kind of like the odd thing that I did when it was raining out and I just took half the bed with me to keep from getting wet, you know, this huge blanket and everything, putting the towel over my head, which looked probably pretty strange to someone looking at it, but whatever it was that had happened that night had taken me out of my normal demeanor, where you just don’t do that.

It was like I kind of got to a point where I just didn’t give a shit, because whatever it was that was affecting me from that dream had put me into a state or a place in which what was important was facilitating the continuation of the process and not the appearances.

Ordinarily you would be wet and you would dry out and maybe be uncomfortable or uneasy or cold or who knows what, and in this particular case, rather than have that interfere or in the way, potentially, as something that could be a distraction, I just dropped all appearances, because that was an aspect of appearances.

Well, in your transitioning or shifting across in this journey that you’re taking, you’re looking for a new set of clothes or tools, a new way, a new way of being. Of course, you’re shifting into something that’s new. It’s taking a little effort to go across, and you’re not certain of course of the vehicle or whether the vehicle is going to get you across – this strange looking camel. You’re not sure just what it is that you’re going to find over there. You’re just doing it.

You have your uncertainties as well as issues that have to do with a bit of the way you need to carry yourself or something in terms of doing this. So your dream is just like giving you a report, the report being what possibly sits there as issues in terms of this sort of transitioning.

In other words, the question about whether the camel is the right way, and this is going to be kind of difficult in some fashion, and then the appearances – are you dressed properly – are all the necessary aspects of a type of appearance mannerism. Just showing what there is that still is kind of noodling around in your nature, although you’re still doing it. In other words, these are just like the little vagaries that one carries.

Jeane: I don’t know if this was another dream, or if it was how that dream began, but I remember being in a house, and there’s at least maybe two parts that are going with me and they feel younger, and then a woman who runs the house.

And it feels as we prepare for a journey, I keep going to the kitchen, and I’m trying to go out to the Jeep we’re going to travel in, and make sure we have our food and everything else right.

Then I find out that the woman who’s in charge of the house isn’t going with us, and actually it doesn’t feel like we really wanted her to go, but we thought she was. Then we find out she’s not going, and it suddenly frees things up – like then you don’t have to go pack the Jeep in as prepared a way, I think.

You know what I mean? It’s kind of like if a parent is going sometimes they have their whole agenda and list you have to check off, but if you’re just going, let’s say the younger set, you can just grab this and that and kind of take off. So it kind of frees something up when we think we’re going, but then I think the Jeep turns into the camel.

John: This thing that you’re talking about, it’s interesting you’re able to pull it out.

Well, in this particular instance what you’re describing in your dream, is that you’re having to let go or leave behind. In other words, this is like a higher octave of the appearances. You’re having to let go and leave behind those aspects or parts of yourself that you normally feel you have to carry around with you – because they are part of you.

In other words, in order to take this step you have to let go and go into an emptiness or a nothingness where you don’t have anything that you are putting your attention upon as essentials. Normally whenever we do something we always have our essentials, whether it’s a jacket or clothes on. We always have our essentials.

Well, at the very epicenter of this journey, or shift to something new, you have to drop all of that.

And so the grandmother or whatever it is that normally comes along, in this particular instance, is not necessarily a deeper part of you, as it would usually be. It’s more like a part of you where you are caught up in ideas of responsibilities, and idiosyncrasies, that have to be taken into account before you can do any kind of shift.

In this particular case all of that has to be dropped so that you’re in an emptiness. And you can use that state of quietness, and the energy that surges there, in order to shift across. That’s what is at the basis of being able to take the step, and then your second dream takes and relates to the fact that you still now have the lower octaves of appearances and such that as you’re making the shift, that haven’t been completely let go of, still malingering with their qualms. But nevertheless apparently not so loud, and not so controlling, as to keep you from making this transition into this new space.

Jeane: Then I think right before I woke up I had a brief dream, and all I really remember about it is I seem to be at the house of some people I know that have certain leadership qualities. But they also have patterns I don’t trust at all – for good reason.

And within the house, and out in the backyard, it’s almost like they’re having a picnic or a gathering or whatever; there are people around. But there’s a point when everybody is supposed to settle and meditate, and I’ve gone over to a rock to sit there, but then I’ve also got my eye on the couple that are like the leaders. Because I feel like I have to keep my eye on him, and other things that seem to go on there, I never do seem to be able to meditate.

John: You have to put this part of the dream into the context of the two that came before. And so in the primary dream, where you went across to the other side, you still had your little nuances. And because you still carried those little nuances, you actually carried those across to the other side. But they don’t belong to the other side; they function as a kind of contaminant.

So you can’t quite own that space and, as a consequence, you still have something that you carry that is like a mannerism, and responsibility, in your way of being that hasn’t been dropped. And so you are still feeling that you have to keep your eye on this, or you have to sustain something like this. And the problem is, you don’t.

And you’re feeling, in this dream, the degree of focus and attention that this takes away from you, from another space that is also possible and is meant to be there, and you’re realizing that this is compromising that to some degree. So it’s kind of like you’re in a watching mode, of noting that as you have taken – as shown in the other dreams  – and created a shift across, first you let go sufficiently enough to be able to have the emptiness to be able to be light enough in terms of what you were carrying, to be able to acceptably take the step across.

But even as you took the step across, you still carried certain appearance issues and whatnot, and certain equivocations as to whether this was quite right or not. You weren’t completely sure. And the degree to which you carried that still had an effect upon the space, in that it now manifests as having to keep your eye on something, to a type of lack of total freedom, which you could have had, had you dropped absolutely everything and made the step across.

But because you still have a little yet to have to contend with, you’re finding yourself having to factor that in, which was part of keeping your eye on this guy or something else that is going on there, and that takes away from this greater dimension inside of you, that you know is meant to be a part of the space that you’re shifting into.

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