Taking the Lead

Louise Taylor

When we come to understand the real work involved in making a spiritual journey, we may ask the universe: why? And the answer lies in the fact that we have been given a special gift that no other form of life enjoys: freedom of choice. With such a freedom is great possibility, and great danger (as we see every day). From the universal perspective, we need to prove that we can be trusted to choose on behalf of higher purposes, rather than on behalf of lower desires. Our journey is a process of being surer and surer of the choices we make, and why.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the dreaming, it takes a lot of attention to be able to go to a deeper and deeper level inside myself. In other words, this is deep in the dream, and what’s going on is I have the whole sensation of a traveling in which there is two things. There is something that is there and then I have to catch it, and then there’s something that is there and I have to catch it, and I have to catch it, I have to catch it. And when I get up near the top it actually seems to level off a little bit, but still there is the attempt to catch it.

And, like I say, the sensation is like going up, and the direction is like that, within, in terms of the within, in terms of dream imagery. The sense is that of being drawn further and further and, as I said, there is even a leveling out in which it can seem slow at times because I can see myself waver at times. I could see myself look back. I could see myself see my physical condition when I waver; but even though I waver, I still keep going deeper and deeper.

And then eventually I reach a status quo, which is like the top of the in-breath, and what may have been difficult, such as my physical well being as I went deeper and deeper because when I glance back my physical well being may not be very good, I’ve reached a point where everything has stabilized and sound. So I’ve reached the top of an innerness. So there are no conditions, or order, or parts of self to glance back at anymore.

But then, all of a sudden, having gotten there, it switches. Now you start the out-breath, and so now it’s time to come back down into life from this inner depth. And the sensation is quite difficult because you’re doing it differently. Before you had the sensation of being pulled, or guided, or however you’d say, ascending. Now the sensation is different in that I seem to be a beingness that takes the lead, like the ego coming down. And, when I take the lead, it’s like I have to be careful, which means it’s like holding the hand of something on the deeper innerness.

I don’t just come completely down in some sort of helter skelter. So I’m coming back. Like I say, it’s different, it’s like having a hand to hold onto as I descend. And it is like something else is taking the lead – meaning my ego is taking the lead. Something else that was different in the ascent was more like the higher self, and now it’s like something is coming back into life which is more like a quality of ego now.

So when before it’s like being guided and pulled deeper and deeper as an upward sensation, and in coming down it’s different because you could come down in a way that isn’t paying proper attention. So in the coming down you have to be careful that you don’t, as a force of nature, disturb. Or, as I saw in the dream, I could come down and, if I’m not watching my step closely, I can set off a landslide right in front of me. But I am careful, and so if I do set off a landslide I don’t get caught in it. But I look and it could be a close call, but I’m holding the hand of something – so I’m careful.

So by holding onto the hand, of the inner, I see the devastation that my presence in a vibrational energetic is able to set off, in other words, my force of nature development, that is a force of nature because of the innerness that I am able to hold the hand of. But I do not get caught in it because I stay attentive.

In other words, you want to be invisible when you come into the outer. You don’t want to be out there loud and carrying on, and goofy again, because you’re going to get lost again. So the attempt is to proceed with as much care as possible so as to not cause too much, like I say, of the force of nature, and respect my whereabouts, and hereabouts, and thereabouts in terms of this motion back into life.

So I’m having to say that I was there. In other words, you could say that I can look now and can tell that I’m there when breakdowns occur, but I don’t get caught in it, and I was unaffected because I remained attentive to the unfoldment process from within – instead of its affect upon the outer.

The meaning is that I am shown the dynamic of going deeper and deeper with an inner awakening travel sensation, which is a letting go process in which I am taken. The difficulty in that is in the looking back when I should be letting go, there’s like step backs in my physical condition, and those step backs can be seen as in a state of duress because it isn’t accustomed to such a letting go and being taken somewhere deep within, that being what it’s about.

So when I come back into life after having done that, with the out-breath, it’s more consciously because I am coming from such an inner depth. I’m leaving the power and force of this inner depth, so I don’t just blank it out completely, so I watch my step. I’m careful. I have an honoring of that.

So the coming back is something that, when I’m attentive, I know about the inner consciousness, instead of just the outer, and so I know when things are fraught with danger, in terms of the outer, because everything’s changeable, can be affected.

So it is in coming back, if I am not in the proper frame of reference, in terms of the inner beingness from above, that is in the coming back kind of a type of guidance, or a type of knowingness, I will be a force in nature, a force in nature that can be harmful to myself. I may be a force of nature, anyway, whether I like it or not. I may set off landslides as it is.

So the ego can act as if this is okay, if it’s just irresponsible. And the ego, as far as the ego side of things goes, can just flick off such an effect, and the ego aspect of one’s self that one doesn’t buy into, and isn’t lost in, can let go, can step back at the right moment in time and save itself from over indulgence thanks to the hand of an inner guidance that it is able to adhere to.

So why did I have this dream? I had this dream to reach a recognition of inner into outer responsibility. It appears in this dream I am able to see and respect what there is in the outer and, therefore, have a handle on what could be, as long as I realize where I am, how I am, who is guiding me, and I follow what is necessary to tell that story, energetically, if nothing else.

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A Connective Dialogue

safe_imageHere is another good example of how our system is always working for us – in our best interests – if we are quiet enough inside to listen. Whether we are speaking of instincts and intuition while awake, or the inner guidance of dreams at night, the full complex of our being is always trying to help us awaken to greater depths of understanding. We miss out on this when we only use our rational brain, or only act from old patterns. In a world where very little seems trustworthy, we hold the truth we have been waiting for. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: And the scenario is, yesterday, I went to the shaman workshop. I didn’t plug in very well to the tools for accessing pent-up, earth plane energies in my nature. I let go to the process and, in doing so, broke my inner magnetic means of awakening.

The disruption veiled me from my connection, but as I came out of this effect I am able to reawaken where I had been to see it in a new way. Consequently, this interlude shouldn’t hurt me because I’m able to take this in and reconcile that with what it is that I am doing.

I also believe that this is an aspect of my process, with the difference being that I am aware that the awakening is from the inner depths of my being to that of an access to oneness. This other is probably just training wheels, and it may get there and go there, too, because most paths lead to the same source. It’s just that at the training-wheel level – this being different from what I’m used to – it can create a discombobulation.

So, in this dream I get more information about how what occurred yesterday affected me. My access was disturbed in the dream in terms of its effect upon me. And, as a consequence, in this dream, I’m seeing myself outside of a tall building, with my feet standing on a ledge that sticks out six inches or something, and I can reach up from there and touch the ledge underneath a window. If I were to pull myself up, I could crawl back in the window.

But the fact that I’m standing there, the window’s open, you know, for me to crawl back in or to get back in in some fashion, I know that the disturbance then is temporary. Because I know that I can wait for inner guidance, or take the chance of trying to pull myself back up and into the house. Waiting makes more sense. I could slip if I tried to do this on my own. I’m not sure if I’m strong enough. I need to let the inner strength build within, or wait for help.

So, in summary, what I did was good because I stirred up the connective forces from within and they communicated to me through all these dreams. It is good because I didn’t get thrown away from my access to this level of consciousness within.

I was given information in terms of how it was that this was affecting me at the time. Because I was aware of the effect from the inner connective dialogue with the soul, via my symbolic dreams, I know from experience that, given time, I will integrate all of this as part of my unfoldment in the whole.

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Breaking Through the Rust

cloud-light-breakthroughIn the outer world, we have teacher and student. In the inner world of dreams, we have one aspect of us trying to teach another aspect of us. And the process is the same. We often forget that we are many things and operate on many levels. Certain aspects of us are much smarter and more knowledgeable than others – and I don’t speak of the brain here. Part of what we strive to do is to get all these parts to understand, and get aligned with, what the best of us already knows. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I didn’t want to write this one up because it came before these other two and it didn’t make any sense to me at the time.

The image was that you were standing—you were off in another area that I could see. And you had kind of a wrap around you that denoted that you were holding a space. And you were holding the space regardless of how I was.

Apparently, in other words, what this image was, you had shown me something, and I hadn’t accepted it. And what you had shown me was true and I still hadn’t accepted it. I was doing some sort of pout, or righteousness, or who knows what tangent I was on.

Well, because what you had shown me was right, was true, if I’m going to be that way, then you have to hold the space. You’re not going to go into my derivation of weirdness—density—I can see you off in a distance maintaining that, holding that, keeping the purity of that.

And just seeing you holding that space of something that is here to be made known, as a realness, that somehow or another affects or touches me and I slowly am able to let go of whatever tangent I’ve gone off on. I’m able to let go of that and come to recognize that you’re right.

Now this is the same principle that works between a teacher and a student. The teacher holds that purity, or that state, and the student goes through all these antics and the teacher continues to maintain that note.

If the teacher bought into any of these antics, then that would just intensify the density of confusion for the student. But because the teacher holds the subtle note of what is true, and the student, somewhere inside of themselves, hears the echo of that, then the student is able to grow by that process.

That presence is called a type of darshan and the need seems to exist in life, because a person can’t extricate themselves on their own, the need exists where there has to be something as a principle, as a manner, or process, upon which a person vibes off of, like a type of tuning fork—a tuning fork of purity, a tuning fork that stays in the overall in spite of the antics of other things that are constantly dancing around in their prerogatives, and ego, and self-image, and all of that.

That is what a teacher is in relationship to a student, holds that so that it functions as a go-between. So that the student then sees that and then from that, is able to, so to speak, be transported to what is real.

But they see it by way of—I hate to use the word example because examples and stuff like that are used in terms of trying to work on the principle of increasing one’s understanding in terms of mind/sense/ego reality, but no, you see that in relationship to heart-to-heart, or soul-to-soul, and that deeper knowingness comes through and that’s what effectuates the change.

So, the dreaming last night had to do with the process, the ways, in which you access what is important. Now, I’ve heard it said that if you could naturally do this, you wouldn’t even need to meditate. But we can’t naturally do this and that’s why we meditate.

That’s like a tool, and that’s why we hold onto the dhikr, that’s why we have prayers of protection, in some instances. That’s why there are all of these avenues to try to break through the rust, to get us so that there is this flow that comes through.

So, you might say that what took place last night, took one into kind of a world that is hard to report in terms of dreams anymore, but one is more directly getting information out of the sound and you can’t prove it, that you’re doing that, because you can’t bring that into the ego mind outer, to where it makes any sense, other than how I tried right now.

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