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Posts Tagged ‘life is an illusion’

Spiritual-AwkenigIn the shift from our personal view of life to a more universal connection, we can often sense, or feel, that what prevents us from a deeper letting go is a type of holding on: to our ego, to our idiosyncrasies, to our psychologies. Even as they prevent us, or hold us back, we find safety in them, grasping harder sometimes when we are closest to a new freedom. At a certain point, we must realize that even after we let these acquired aspects drop, we will still be there. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in my meditation dream, I’m looking at an energetic nature that needs to awaken to a feature of itself, but is in an illusionary way. I’m looking at my inability to let go to a deeper inner experience, within, that exists in a kind of hiddenness because I’m attached to an energetic affliction, that, in the outer, is my manifestation. There is manifestation that is the collective of all of that, and my place in manifestation is my particular affliction. 

In other words, behind that is something more, but I am carrying on in a certain illusory way that I see myself. So in my dream, I observe various scenes in which whatever is expected of me is in an outer scenario, which, when unremoved, get in the way of deeper inner awareness that is possible. 

Often this inner awareness, a supposed aliveness that, in the outer, is actually something that’s insipid and lifeless, even though I may act like it’s not insipid and lifeless, it’s because I’m not getting behind the preconditioning that exists and properly letting go; I’m not letting go. 

So this acts out on the plane of collective projections, called manifestation; see, we each carry who we are like that. So for this acting out to unfold from its trance means that I have to somehow let go of the projections – and that letting go isn’t possible yet.

So the way I saw myself, and the way others see me, is whatever my spellbinding schematic that is how I am, they see that as the way I’m lost. We’re now just zooming in on how it is that I have something that is veiled. Only from an emptiness resulting from being able to let go of a profile, am I able to be still and non-tranced out.

The theme of the dreaming was to not have a profile, or projection, per se, which is an identification that dictates over one’s ability to hold on to a stillness. In this theme my dreams involve being unable to let go of what exists as a bifurcation, or whatever you want to call it, in a created collective outer illusion. And, of course, the sum total of all of that is what makes manifestation, and there I am caught in that in an outer capacity. 

So, in the meditation dream, I am shown that I’m living this out in the illusion that is called manifestation. And to take away the dream is to take away the fabric of the breath that sustains the illusory state, and has various identifications upon a breath of images. In other words, whenever you have something in the breath where you pause, there are images pent up in that, that call for a reflective projection into manifestation, because the breath itself is the sum total of manifestation. And then you’re some aspect of that that bicycles around.

So to do away with having to contend with such dreams is to do away with manifestation. To say I don’t want to obliterate manifestation, per se, is to say that I am… In other words, if I want to maintain manifestation, if I like the way I am, it’s the same thing as saying that I am addicted to the illusory spell and identification that is a mind and its imagination. 

Or, if you want to say this another way, the outer collective of all of the thoughts, whims, wishes and projections of mankind have come together to create a way of co-creating, and living something out, in what is called manifestation. So that was my meditation aspects.

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Escher_Relativity

M. C. Escher

Have you ever been all dreamy and in love, and then, one day, you saw the other person clearly, and it was over? That dreamy phase is the relationship we have with the outer world. We’re so enamored that it doesn’t matter what it does to us, or how it treats us, we keep doing everything for it. A spiritual journey is the moment of clarity when we say to the outer world: “Enough! I’m not getting what I need in this relationship.”  And “what I need” really translates to being connected to, and in service to, something much greater than the outer, which is the inner, which is where we can create the relationship that we were designed to find. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: My sleep dream, meditation dream, was quite a bit like that, and then I had to understand really what it was saying through the sleep dreams, because in the meditation dream I find myself unable to experience myself from an outer flow.

In other words, I can’t do it in the outer flow, from the outer flow. In other words, it’s not like it is the outer flow. So, as a result, I’m unable to break the effect of projections. In other words, the outer flow and the projections are just there. I’m not going to break that, I’m not going to change that, and they impose an effect that is part of a waking up, I guess, or however you’d say that. I come to know that that’s not actually real, but, nevertheless, there’s still nothing I can do about it.

So, in the meditation dream, I am aware that what is being imposed upon me is not real, and is, you might say from one way of looking at it, therefore kind of basically unacceptable. Nevertheless, even though I know that I am supposed to be able to get away from the projections, try as I might, I’m not able to do it.

So in the meditation dream I’m appalled. You know, in other words, when you look at things you’re appalled, and the sensation is that of being continuously abused because things are just always in flux, which is frustrating because one is trapped by that, which you know isn’t right. You know that there is something else.

I know that I am not meant to be a person helpless to the momentum of outer projections. That’s like the dream, and within this meditation dream there was this whole sense of the other all the time – even though this was my condition.

And the meaning is, if you look at it really closely, this is a dream that’s exemplifying the bewilderment associated with being caught in the momentous intensity of the out-breath. Because it’s the out-breath; it’s in the chaos of things. It’s away from the stillness. And I know that the out-breath, per se, projects illusory thoughts.

In the meditation dream, over and over again I am compelled to accept the fate of the projected thoughts. So this is my condition in manifestation, even though I know the projections are imposed. I cannot free myself from such outer projections. I know that I am being victimized against free will; a deeper will.

In spite of being thwarted to having to contend with this plight, I know better. I never lose the sense that I have that there is a primordial stillness which makes everything right. I know this to be so, so much so, that I am shocked when the projections keep predominating. I know the projections are powerless from the echo of a stillness I am not reaching.

So what I am really talking about is a wonderful sensation that comes from the in-breath to out-breath interval where all is as it is meant to be, which is peaceful and still, and yet that has to be experienced, and is experienced, and caught up with in the chaos. The in-breath and the out-breath is the chaos. So that’s the meditation dream.

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67umlThroughout the universe there is only one way for something to attract what it wants more of, or what it wants to be with, and that is to become more like it. It is an energetic law that says that like is attracted to like. In the physical world we understand this in terms of appearance, or environment: we learn to look a certain way, or we can create a space for something specific to happen. Energetically, we want the whole of our being to be an attraction to something higher, and so our development is to let go of all the things in us that might be too coarse for what we are trying to attract. Little by little we can shed things like judgment, or ego, and replace them with qualities such as compassion or kindness, and then see what happens next. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: We are at a point where the schematic of this is repeating, and it’s got a fairly close parallel, and I’ve been dreaming this part over, and over, and over again for quite some time. And last night it was almost like I needed to see a greater, bigger picture again, and then from that greater, bigger picture I then needed to be told that what I’m doing is creating a problem in relationship to the way I need to be in a letting go state, and that, then, was my sleep dream.

So my meditation dream portrayed something that’s impossible to be, in existence, in that it portrayed the inner, the deep, deep depth inner.

So, in the meditation dream, I’ve gone to an inner dimension in which the spaciousness is so extensive I can’t put my finger on anything. In this place I don’t have to know because I am intertwined with all that exists. My interconnectivity is to a oneness of beingness. I can settle back in my all-pervasive knowingness.

In other words, on the inner you can see the intertwinement, and so in the intertwinement you’re not stopped, you’re not blocked, you can just go, and go, and go. I mean you’re accommodated in that expanse. Or, you could say that I traveled, in my meditation dream, deeper and deeper within and, at no time, did I find myself in a place where separation existed. The intertwinement made what I was doing acceptable.

But, when I opened my eyes, and I found myself having to contend with the outer, the sensation was that of having to contend with the illusory belief that in everything there is a quality of a separateness – in some capacity. Such a veiled belief system estranges me from a heart that embraces the essence of everything as being me.

So what does this imply as a result? When I am unable to accept who I am, and struggle to see myself in a separate capacity way, such bewilderment blinds me from a connection to what is going on. To be like this is to deny an all-pervasiveness. Another way of saying it is, I am talking about the soul that is the only thing there is – when we’re talking about an all-pervasiveness – and then we’re kind of estranging ourselves from that when we are looking at things as having a distinction.

A shutting down illusion occurs when I open my eyes and am shocked at trying to sort things out, because that is a sorting out that fails to include the intertwinement, just the separate capacity aspects. To be like that is to veil. A veil is a lie to one’s self, because, when such a veiling is removed, there is nothing going on. You can say, okay, now you’re talking about something in such a capacity that that isn’t how it is when you’re in the planes of manifestation. So how do you somehow cope?

So, to try to cope, I start off then by going and I shift into a more expansive scenario, from a limited scenario that I had been confined to. In other words, there’s still the rub off of knowing that there’s something greater. So even though I’m confined to something more limited, a bit of a grasp of this greater beingness of myself causes me to be able to shift a bit into a greater wholeness. Or, in other words, having a sense of the higher self. And what I see is that I am not actually grounded enough for this bigger picture.

I am told to observe that which is positive, in other words, because I’m not really grounded, by positive it means look at that which is a quality of something that is okay in the flow of the outer, because there are things that are running into resistances, and other things are naturally unfolding. Try to see that which is naturally unfolding because that is an energetic that is at least supported and activated at this time. It doesn’t mean it will stay activated, because I don’t see the full picture. I am in a more openness, but only deemed to be in a position of aspect in relationship to the overall beingness that has a bit of revelation to it – and I have to see that like reading the tea leaves of something.

The reason I am so handicapped is because I’m blocked from seeing. I just see the top part. I just see kind of an upper part. It’s as if there’s a wall, and I could see something that bobs just above the wall, just a small, small portion, whether that’s a third of it, or a quarter of it or whatever it is, I don’t see it in terms of how it’s standing on the ground.

So when it’s like that apparently I’m meant to make due with where I am at by taking the flow that is anew, and identifying it correctly as something that is a flow, or an unfoldment, and thus facilitate it into the overall in and through me.

Well, if you think about it that is going to be a challenge because I am not seeing the all-pervasiveness that is me, and the allness that is me. That is what the meditation dream indicated me to be in the overallness of myself. I am only getting glimpses from what rises up as a kind of above, yet not in the below, kind of, so to speak, off the ground unfoldment.

Whether that is a flow with the required groundedness it needs is not something I can tell yet. It’s left for me to somehow determine, because I am only able to see this very subtle inflection.

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