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Posts Tagged ‘longing and loneliness’

i78esWe may not always realize how much of the stress in our lives comes from a deep feeling of loneliness. Why would that be, even if we are surrounded by family and friends? Our strongest urge, which is built into our design, is to connect to the universe we have been born into. That is the connection we truly seek, and all other connections become a substitute for the universal one, which means they will never really fulfill the ache we feel inside. To be on a path is to find that connection, which offers the only true peace and settlement we will ever know. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: First of all I’ll go to the meditation dream. I see myself accomplishing the objective, which is to stop the doingness, and that effect leads to what I know it’s going to lead to. It leads to a stillness, a stillness that is everywhere. And then I suddenly go into shock.

Now suddenly there’s nothing to see. Existence as me is no more. I hadn’t realized that it could be like that, and I find myself scrambling to come up with a way in the nothingness, because all of a sudden when I went into shock I went into shock because all vibration disappeared, and when all vibration disappeared, I disappeared – and so what is there?

And so I wake up unable to find a cope-ability, or any capabilities, unable to find anything, in the absolute emptiness. In other words, it’s just a void, not even a vibration. It’s the epitome of true death. I can find no relatability that exists, whether positive or negative, there’s just nothing because I don’t exist – so there is no longer a knower and known. I can’t say anything about anything anymore because there isn’t a functional beingness for that.

So then I have the consequence. To glimpse absolute death is shocking. It can’t be done. My definition of death always carried a reference to a vibration. In other words, there was always a permeating vibration. You didn’t really die. You went to the other side, or something. To be without a vibration is a void without any cognitive at all, and so, when it was like that, I mean the epitome of where there’s really a true despair, a true breaking down of it all, that is when I got it. God is in the soul, or in that vibration. And the heart knows no death. It has to embody the universal soul of all of existence, or of all of everything. Since the soul never dies, God is everywhere.

So the conclusion is, since there is no death, because apparently there is always a beingness that aspires, that’s why there is no death, that means that the path of peace is a never-ending need for access, for access. Aspiring to access, peace is to engage the reflective that comes out of the essence, which is like the thoughts. Reflections don’t exist separate from the essence. There is nothing but essence, therefore essence is our definition of peace. Peace and essence are synonymous.

So anyway, what is the significance of this dream? Manifestation was not designed to be an angelic, sacred, in its absolute way that way, as the heart would like. Manifestation reflects or portrays the reflective consciousness of man in creation, while at the same time it embodies a deeper inner truth and essence that can be experienced, in spite of the misuse and abuse, or of the collective consciousness of things that are thoughts-upon-thoughts in disarray, is another way that one could kind of say it.

So I have to put my focus and attention upon what is important. If I fail to see the beauty that transcends the ignorance and views, I will remain wounded and out of touch. From the first dream I am able to see that I cannot ignore the vibrational essence of my beingness. This vibration radiates out over all I look out over.

There is plenty of evidence regarding how dire everything is. In the meditation dream, I reach a point where I actually give up, I check out, and lose the vibrational thread, even though that thread may be something that’s beat down, you can hold onto a more conscious aspect and raise something up. If beaten down enough you can actually lose that thread that’s meant to permeate creatively throughout the universe.

Such a vibration is part of the vastness of the heart. If it wasn’t there in the heart in this capacity nothing could exist. In the sleep dream, to be conscious is to accept what is and how I find it, both above and below, without any illusions about it all. You’ve got to be careful how you positively glorify things, yet at the same time, underlying it all is this uplifting, reverent, and divine heartfelt quality that you have to access, that you can’t lose track of, because it lays the seed for a transformation of what has occurred over a long course of misuse and abuse.

The rubbish of the outer is still there. I mean it’s going to take generations to transform this dump. In other words, those cans don’t just go into soil. They’re metal cans and whatnot. It takes a long, long time for them to be absorbed, which is a fact of life and a consequence of man’s mannerisms and attitudes from an unconscious history which is subject to change and transformation when it realizes the aliveness and divinity of a greater inner beingness. In other words, things come from within, the essence is from within, but from without one has been really wayward and unconscious.

So, as in the meditation dream, the heart is meant to sweep over all that there is, and, in doing so, the essence, that essence becomes all-pervasive. This underlying essence is the peace we seek. Outer reflective conditions in manifestation are reflective of both our lower-self and higher-self nature. Manifestation is the means by which we are able to transcend our plight and get closer to the all-pervading essence which permeates revelationally for those with eyes to truly see, and ears to truly hear.

Such revelation is not naïve, or overly angelic, innocently. In other words, it has to hold the vibration, the contrast. It is out of the collective dense unconscious outer reflection and appearances that a seeing and hearing is possible. What ensues is a redeeming, in other words what can ensue, in other words if you don’t just collapse and go like in the meditation dream into a void in which there is no spark whatsoever, what can ensue is a redeeming, reverent, and revelational revelation which heals the pain, suffering, and wounds that prevail in the outer, the outer being again a mirror image reflection of things, reflected into the lower self in terms of what we have done during the unconscious stages of evolvement of our being, in which the essence behind it all was disregarded.

Because if we don’t do that, and the heartfelt vibrations, so it seems from the meditation dream, could get so displaced that, as in the meditation dream, there would be a non-vibrational vacant void. That would be the end of everything.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Essence Within

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John: I keep dreaming that there is a dominant, inner expression that dictates the outer life. This is an influence that is familiar, deep within my natural frame of reference. However, the loudness of everything else – the superficial – drowns out this effect over the short run. 

So this influence silently dictates the overall way things unfold, even though it’s not readily apparent in the outer.

In one image, I see this inner expression represented as a skeletal frame that holds things together. The outer features are what I notice at first, and am apt to be swayed by – like the skin and the flesh on this frame – on a moment-by-moment basis. As a result, the controlling feature in life (the inner expression) takes a backseat to everything else in the outer environment. Or so it seems, even though in the long run the skeletal backbone to life is what ultimately wins out.

In other words, what I saw is this skeletal structure, and it comes all the way down to the ground. So there’s something about the structure that makes an energetic connection to everything that’s rooted in creation. Then the shell, the body, the flesh, and the skin on it is what people pay attention to, it’s what they see, so they’re not aware that there is an aliveness to the structure that actually dictates what is meant to be and how things are to unfold.  

Everyone is paying attention to what is more apparent or obvious, i.e., the denser, outer layer, which is just the wrapper, or the exterior of the skeletal structure. So people base their choices and actions according to appearances, because that’s the easiest to sense and to see.

In other words, the invisible skeletal structure carries the energetic or vibration of what’s meant to be, not the skin and the flesh and everything else that’s visible. But it’s the outer, visible layer that has a loudness that captures the senses, and draws everyone’s attention.

Of course, in the long run, what wins out, in terms of what is meant to be, is determined by the skeletal structure.

Isn’t that a strange image?

So in this dream I feel fortunate in knowing what is actually affecting what manifests in the outer. It’s a wonderful feeling of relief to know that there is inner guidance, determined or destined to come to the forefront of my being.

First of all, I sense this in a fairly general way, but then I realize that my attention is drawn more to the skeletal structure than it is to the outer layers. I do not readily grasp this.

I can feel it and I can know it, but I lose sight of this knowing when I’m caught up in some situation that requires my immediate attention. Even then, when I’m unable to hold onto an inner balance, I’m comforted in a subconscious way with knowing that there is the essence of what is meant to be, like it’s waiting for me to go there, to look there.

In the dream, because I’ve made the choice to have the inner framework to life dictate how I’m meant to live, even my mistakes and detours are simply guided and shaped into what is intended. I find that amazing.

In other words, as I fumble about it’s almost like something else is directing me because whatever I’m doing is being transformed somehow. It’s affected. Sometimes I suffer when this happens, but at other times my input is redirected and guided to bring out the intended inner effect.

I come to know and trust this inner expression, even though it’s not visible; for me it is just as real as what is visible. What is visible in the outer is there for appearances only. I’ve become able to see the deeper thread of things, beyond the noisy surface.

This cannot be said, however, for my coarser nature that is still dominated by the appearances of the outer world, fed only by the physical senses.

What I’m describing is a subtle awakening, of my consciousness, to that which lies deep within my nature. It gives me joy each time I’m able to break through the outer barriers and be touched by this inner essence, which waits patiently for me to attune myself to its existence at the core of my being.

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John: In this dream, I’m carrying the feeling of being cut off, or removed, from something that I’m looking for, inside. Try as I might, I can’t even remember what it is that I’m looking for. Ideas pop into my head, but I’m unable to hold onto them. It feels as though I’m looking for something that isn’t there.  

Still, I look and I look. Suddenly, you come back to bed (in the outer world) and I’m able to identify that something is being revealed in me. But what is being revealed is still only at a vibrational level. I’m excited because I feel as though I’m about to figure something out.  

When you return to bed it coincides with my excitement at having reached a crescendo, but I also get jolted awake. My feeling is that I haven’t completed my inner search, and I’m left with a longing inspired by the dream.

This imagery shows that I’ve gone back to the beginnings of things. We have been talking about dream work, and asking the question, “Is every person meant to awaken to a spiritual life?” So this dream finds me back at the beginning, where we all find ourselves at some point.

Yet even at the beginning we are seeking something more, even though we don’t know that we’re doing it, and we don’t know what we’re searching for, or what we want.

So to begin with, when we go to sleep, it’s like we give access to a vibration that seems to restore our sense of self. Not only are we recharging our energy for a new day, we are also being healed, to some degree, of the stresses and burdens that we face in our waking life. Sleep each night helps keep us from being overwhelmed.

Sleep, this period of “going home” – to an inner place – restores us and enables us to face the new day. Typically, we take the process of sleep for granted – just as we do our ability to breathe. Sleep is something that’s just accepted, yet few of us really consider what it is and the key role it plays in maintaing our health and helping us evolve during our lifetime.

So, in my dream, I’m looking for something, but I’m unsure of what. This is like the initial stage of a spiritual journey – having a sense that there’s something more, but not knowing what that might be or where to look. And we may have that sense of longing in our waking life, but it may well begin during sleep, where we are always connected to the higher part of ourselves, even if it’s at a subconscious level.

For most people, the usefulness of sleep begins and ends with getting a good night’s rest. The physical world we inhabit is the only reality of interest; we think that everything of importance happens “out there.”

Upon waking in the morning, we open our eyes and everything that was going on inside seems to fall away. We may or may not consciously remember any of the imagery of our dreams, and if we do we might consider them strange or confusing. Most people really only consider how well they’ve rested.

The switch to something greater – an awakening – can come to the person who is able to recognize that there is more to life than meets the eyes. That sense can come from a connection to nature, an inner knowing, or the nudging and guidance that happens during sleep and through our dreams.

So everyone experiences such vibrations, which refresh and restore, which we take in at night and take for granted, and for some there is an awakening to something more. It is only then that the spiritual world consciously begins to open up. The inner connections have been made.

This is incredibly important to the unfolding of a human life. The human design has embedded this process of awakening to a spiritual life as a latency within it. It’s really as natural to us as the desire to continue the species, but that is more robotic in nature.

A spiritual journey can be hinted at through this latent coding we all have, but following it can only be undertaken by free choice, otherwise we would be no different than slaves or robots.

Every soul that has the focus and attention can reach the deeper levels of themselves, but the choices required can only happen in their time. Thus, to answer the question “Is every person meant to awaken to a spiritual life?” the answer is “Yes, and it happens in accordance with how well they’re able to catch up with that which is astir within.”

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