Posts Tagged ‘lost opportunities’

Jeane: My dream starts out at a dance. It’s the end of high school and everyone is going to go their own way. My boyfriend and a friend of his are going to be joining the Army and they’ll be deployed the next day, although they’ve arranged to be deployed locally.

I go over to his house to see him that night and then I leave. I’m going to go back the next morning. His whole family will be there.

Well, when I start back the next morning, I find myself out in a desert area, in an arroyo that doesn’t have any water in it anymore. There’s a high bank near me, but I spot an area where the dirt has collapsed, so I start climbing up that.

Then I see where someone has stuck a pen and a few other things into the dirt to create a handhold and some footholds. I’m able to get to the point where I can reach my hands up on top of the bank and pull myself up.  

I go to his house but everyone has already left and the house is empty. I walk up to the sink and see one or two dishes and I just start washing them. The house is filled with quite a bit of light.

Next, a poor Mexican family comes to the door with their children, but I realize I can’t help them because the house is empty and there doesn’t seem to be anything in it. All I can do is point them in a direction that they can go. Then I go outside.

At that point there’s a shift in the dream.

John: You’re describing a setup where something happens, i.e., this young man is going into the service or being deployed. I kept listening to determine if this event is a good thing or a bad thing and, in and of itself, it’s not either one.

The thing that’s missing, however, is a certain perspective, or way of hearing, or catching up with something. That’s what doesn’t come through. You’re the person who’s being deployed and yet, at the same time, you’re also the person who shows up too late.

In other words, you don’t quite have the opportunity to make the connection because the part of you that would be able to look at the bigger picture doesn’t have access to the memo. It just isn’t coming through, or you’re unable to catch up with it.

As a consequence, the dream raises the issue, or points out, that things have to be turned away (the Mexican family). If you had gotten there a moment earlier – when the boy and his family were still there and you could have established a linkage – then other things that were ready and able to ensue from that point could have tied in or connected with that.

Instead, because you were late, there’s a whole sequence of events that was dropped or lost as a consequence of that connection not being made. Said another way, something was left empty, from your perspective, when trying to make that shift and then to get there on time.

And there are further ramifications because after you arrive late to the empty house, you also have to turn away the family who came to the door for help. So there’s a cascade, or repetition, of missed connections that continue to play out.

That’s what’s happening in your dream.

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John: In this dream, the overall feeling is of working with space and energy. It feels like, night after night, I’m coming up against something that I’m meant to break through. Yet, because I’m not in the right inner state, I don’t make a breakthrough.

This has a consequence in the outer life because I begin to sweat during my sleep. It’s like something foreign has control over me. I find myself throwing off the covers to cool down.

But it has also caused me to see a reflection inside where I can go back to an earlier point in time. In that space, everything is easier, but it’s bland. It doesn’t carry any clarity with it, but it’s an easy pattern to follow and it stops the sweating.

The problem is that it will repeat and repeat and repeat, because I’m shown this situation as an opportunity to make a breakthrough. When I don’t, it keeps coming back. In other words, what is happening is that I’m given a challenge and an opportunity, but part of me knows there is an easier way out, and that is by slipping into an old and familiar pattern rather than pushing into new territory (and growth).

When I accept the easier way, it takes the pressure off and I stop sweating. But the state it leaves me in has no energy; there’s nothing left for me in it, so it feels like a state of malaise.

In a sense, this happens in our lives all the time. We may see a familiar choice as being easier, even desirable, but when we make it, it leaves us feeling a little empty – a little sad. That’s what this dream feels like. Choosing the old pattern is like opting to stay asleep, or in a state of unconsciousness, and that lacks clarity and vibrancy.

When I don’t break through, I don’t catch the new note – the note that is almost beckoning me to come through to it. Instead of struggling just a bit more, I end up taking a step away from the edge, to a safer place, but one where there’s nothing left to sort, or figure, out.

I’m settling for the repetitive pattern. Thus, I lose the opportunity for a higher state, for a breakthrough, just to ease the stress I experience that causes me to sweat.

That’s the premise of the dream. Does that make sense?

I’ve experienced this before, so I recognized the theme right away. We can’t just ignore what’s in front of us, we either have to deal with it or, sometimes, we take that step back so it’s no longer at a point of consequence. We seek refuge in what is familiar.

When we do that, we lose the potential for new clarity, new light, or a greater sense of knowing that could open up to us. Somehow we know this, that’s why we get this feeling of sadness when we take the easier way – when we settle for the old pattern. Deep down we know we’ve lost something.

When I sweat like that during a dream, it’s almost like purging or cleansing before the breakthrough or shift. Yet I keep stopping short of the breakthrough, so all I get is the discomfort.

And, ultimately, if we want to progress in our lives we have to make these breakthroughs within ourselves. Yes, sometimes we will delay them because some part of us isn’t quite ready, but we will have to follow where the road leads in order to get where we want to go.

Sometimes just surrendering to that truth can make it easier. Because on a certain level, we can’t avoid the lessons we need to learn, we can only delay learning them. When we feel the sadness of these lost opportunities, it can give us the fortitude to push through the next time.

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