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Posts Tagged ‘meditation and dream work’

aws232It is nearly impossible to make a spiritual journey and never experience spiritual doubt. After all, we are asking our brain and all our systems to let go of the physical reality that sits before us, and to put our whole trust into unseen aspects of life. No matter how strong our belief is, we will be tested. Yet it is just these tests that can deepen our belief, if we don’t derail ourselves completely, by helping us to realize that, without our beliefs, what we are left with is an emptiness that is unquenchable. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: I also had something that kind of sat in a limbo, and so not really a meditation dream, per se. In other words, I was grappling with thought-upon-thought upon the plane of manifestation. It’s as if I had chosen to try to play act in this thought-upon-thought, as if there’s a way of finding relief that way, but I wasn’t able to do that because I know this to be futile.

And I tried and tried, as if, maybe, I had missed something, somehow, and that there really was a way to go somewhere this way. You could say this was like a due diligence dream, in other words, going back to see if you actually were too adamant or something, when I adopted the idea that manifestation, being a plane of sound, is just a thought-upon-thought reality. And, is there something more to it?

In other words, it’s an aspect, it’s a part, per se, in and of itself. It’s just thought-upon-thought, but I had to kind of go back and re-look at it. And so I was trying to prove, in a contrary way, a validness that, deep down, I knew didn’t exist.

And it’s kind of an approach. The reason why I was able to take this approach, and go back and do this, is because that’s my pattern. That’s the approach that I took a long time ago. I basically decided, like I say, by being familiar it’s the pattern in which you kind of, so to speak, go down the Jinn side of things into life, instead of stay in the angelic.

Or, you could say, it’s a type of declaring war on God, so to speak, by stepping on the momentum gas and project thought-upon-thought into the unknowingness plane of manifestation, pretending that I could sort out such a delirium – even though deep down to do so was to step upon a better judgment, in which I knew I was probably in trouble in having taken such a step, and, therefore, found myself in kind of a type of controlled waiting game.

In other words, there’s nothing I can do about it, that’s how I find myself. Once I did it, now I have to contend with it; to live it. So everyone was in their own way, when I look at others now and everything else around me, they’re all acting up as if there was something meritorious to be found in such an approach.

So instead of being odd man out or something, I threw away an inner sense of apprehension and went out into the outer flow, and, in doing so, I kept telling myself that the apprehensiveness within was getting in the way of the momentum in my thoughts. In other words, I really knew that all those who had gone before me in this way had failed, but perhaps this time I would make it work, being a God upon myself, and not let the projection of others about a higher-self phase me.

In other words, it’s like those kinds of mannerisms that people have, that they project, are kind of like an opium of the masses. That’s what religion is. That’s what I concluded, and so even on higher-self levels I concluded that it didn’t necessarily go anywhere. So this attitude, this demeanor, resulted in a battering and stabbing of the heart, knowing that something was going to have to rescue me from my plightful research project.

I knew I was lost and was messing about deliriously, so to speak, as a kind of price of readmission, in which I was going to keep on keeping on until it was proven to me the jig was up.

I’m basically describing how I came about making the Jinn side choice of the breath, and how I pushed the angelic side in the corner. The thought I held onto was that if there was something to the angelic side, it would have to prove itself to me – and I could wait. I would just wait to see.

If it didn’t, it didn’t. It’s not up to me, because I ended up coming out of the Jinn side, so you can’t go back the same way you came down. So I was going to deny the manifested environment. In other words, I find myself in kind of the plane of manifestation, in that environment, and so I wasn’t going to deny that. I was going to just go ahead and be purgatoried into it and give it the opportunity to prove itself.

So I plunged into thought-upon-thought, as if there was a missing piece, or way to find a stillness in the center of it all, when deep down knowing that such efforts would just be for naught, given the fact I was purposely here.

In other words, once I had done it I don’t go back with the same kind of Jinn approach. So it took me a long time to realize that I was always stabbing the heart when I dabbled with reflective thought, this being analogous to how smoke is a veil from the flame. To redeem and forgive, I found this to also be analogous to turning to the flame.

Or, said another way, I found that to truly be in the magnetism of an all-pervading breath I had to be with a heartfulness, free of thought, seeking to abide therein. Apparently I had to go on a sound-level journey into manifestation to consciously realize that the thought plane level is a bifurcation that veils the heart from truly seeing and hearing.

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Heart-2What does it mean to listen to the heart? On a spiritual journey we come to understand that our brain alone cannot get us where we need to go. And that’s an issue, because almost everything in daily life is governed by our use of our brain. But we are a wholeness, not a single organ, and our instincts and intuitions, and our heart, are part of how we need to “feel” our way forward. This has to do with a trust in the unseen, but also the belief that our systems, as a whole, know what is best for us – in terms of doing what we have been designed to do. The more we can listen, and respond, to the intelligence of our wholeness, the more we will live in the flow of energetics. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: Now what I dealt with, in terms of my meditation dream, was a little bodacious to try to write it up because you can’t really do justice to the subject matter trying to write it up in a couple, three pages.

So I start off with manifestation, in which, as a being, I’m in a slower and more dense condition, and that condition is based upon things having gotten condensed upon what is called the plane of sound. In other words, sound was used, like it’s described in the Bible, out of the word… beginning was the word, and now the word things were created. And it says something similar in terms of how sound was used to create things, out of the Koran. And so we live in something that’s considered dense, but it’s dense because it is sound compressed, which means that light is something way something else, then there’s the sound, and in it, it is compressed. And within the sound might be the higher self, instead of just the lower self, but that’s another story.

So, outwardly, I experience in everything in manifestation a form of sound. Sound is a compressed substance. It’s compressed into a substance that I am able to physically hear, see, touch, whatever with my physical mind and senses – and the mind follows the senses. So manifestation, when experienced as sound, is reflective. It’s reflective to something that is the higher self, that’s more than that, that’s the deep inner, that’s the other side.

In this loci you live out everything that is on the plane of light. You live it out, though, in a condensed format called sound. So hearing and seeing predominates in this outer reflective, but it’s a hearing and seeing with senses that are sound-oriented. They are disassociated, based upon the way the mind senses are, from the true and higher-self light.

And then there is the universe of everything. Within the planes of light there is manifestation, of course, but there’s the planes of light, or the higher self, that embodies this – even though we are stuck in the plane of manifestation, and are sorting out accordingly, and are caught with a physical dense nature that’s in accordance with how manifestation is, or the plane of sound is, and we just call it a lower-self nature. Or I would call it the sound loci octave, and the world’s soul of a manifestation in a sound-oriented octave is, in and of itself, in kind of a dire outer condition state, kind of on a life support, because over time it has gotten to the point where it has lost track, or does not know how to reach, the inner light that’s necessary to shift the lower self on a mind sense orientation to the planes of light.

So in my meditation dream I saw the collective consciousness state as being where sound, and the momentum of condensed sound, is a spellbinding condition maintained by a mind trapped in the five senses. In other words, condensed sound makes the senses.

To access the higher self, such a mind must let go of the reflective five-sense orientation, because what has happened is that the vibration has come down in a way that is traveling farther and farther away from the light, and, in doing so, it spins more and more in terms of trying to figure out something when it has lost the natural aspect that enables it to know.

And so we are kind of left with a few tools to try to play with, you know, in terms of trying to awaken the higher self. Prayer is one, meditation is another, in that they point to something more, but we have such a feeble connection to that because we exist in the manifestation loci in which our senses point out, 99.99% of the time, a certain way of having to function, and if we don’t function that way your body will suffer because it has a physical orientation to this kind of dumbed-down, lower-self nature. So, to begin with, that something more that is more is just deemed to be anotherness that we can’t hold onto, or even see.

Now a means has been devised to try to help bridge the gap more than just through prayer and meditation, and, for the Naqshbandis and the Chistis, they use the dhikr, that is energized, or magnetized, to the breath so that the human being is able to find a way of being energized that is outside of the flickerings of the mind senses.

Or, I call it, the Jinn out-breath because we all are so much bigger than what we realize, and we come down through, and have in our nature have fallen with thought processes that are aspected to the Jinn out-breath, and then we’re taking that and finding that we are playing with thought-upon-thought, as an orientation on the plane of sound, as opposed to light-upon-light. And so we need the light-upon-light to get back to God.

The out-breath that comes down into a reflective denseness finds this lower self, as a plane that it has created with the thought-upon-thought, as a sense orientation which is self-limiting and, as a consequence, because so much of who we really are has been estranged, we go into distress. The distress is accentuated when the heart vies for a greater inner angelic plane experience of light, but can’t find it.

Consequently, if the heart, in our orientation in the manifestation, can’t find it, neither can the so-called world’s soul of manifestation get out of its strange predicaments being on a kind of breaking down because it sits just reflectively, instead of inflectively, to where a change can happen on the plane of light.

And the plane of light is considered a plane of the angelic, so on the in-breath you could even say that, at the higher part of the in-breath, is the angelic, just like you could say on the higher part of the out-breath you go through the thoughts that come up that keep pulling you down, down, down that goes through the Jinn quality.

So the mind senses of the Jinn out-breath must stop and reach a magnetism, or access, because as they’re coming down they lose the magnetism, and the speeded up, and the light and whatnot, from which they come. And when you become dull, and dumb, and asleep enough, you have no idea of what you left behind, and thus the consequence of what has happened is that the light has become hidden in matter and needs to be freed, and that quality of something hidden in matter is considered feminine.

Just like the in-breath is considered feminine, the out-breath is considered masculine. When we learn the magnetism, how to magnetize back, go back to a greater speed, more light, we do that by charging the breath, instead of just taking the breath and letting it be slapped around unconsciously as we fumble about in the plane of manifestation. We have to bootstrap ourselves by developing something that takes us outside of the constant thought process by magnetizing something of the breath, and that magnification takes us back into the plane, and points us back to the plane, of light.

A traveling that finds a home, at the in-breath/out-breath interval, then becomes the cycle of creation, although first you have the traveling away from God as the out-breath, the traveling towards God as the in-breath, the traveling in God when you get to the point where you’re hitting the stillness.

So such a journey takes in all of the levels of our beingness, and frees us to follow the heart that, in the inner, is accentuated more and more by a magnetism in-breath to angelic light freed from the out-breath momentum of thoughts. I mean you go beyond just the angelic, too, because the angelic still is like a light-upon-light in reverence to something, but then there’s the stillness that’s above that. Or, as is commonly said, the place on the breath where the in-breath turns to the out-breath. To be able to go back and forth through the various planes of light and sound is all there is.

Sensation of meditation dream: The sensation is that there is an emptiness in which everything is everything, and it is as it is, and there is no need for more or for less. The heart embraces all there is as being all there is, a soothingly, still peace and rest. Thoughts do not exist. And then I suppose you could say, you know, before the in-breath turns to the out-breath, who knows what that’s like, but along the way there’s a light-upon-light.

Such an exercise is an attempt to use the laws of the heart for guidance.

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i22esSo much effort is expended in trying to control things in the outer, yet what we overlook is the concept that if we control ourselves on the inner, the outer will proceed accordingly. This is not control in the way of suppression, but in the way of letting go, and being with, the energetic flow. In the same way that our anger, or stress, can affect the environment around us, so too can our inner calm, and groundedness, allow for an improved unfolding of events. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: The meditation dream I had had the effect of something, in terms of a quality being somewhat different, in relationship to the heart breath, in that I had access within to information that I could use – and I don’t readily access this information.

And so, because I don’t readily access this information, what I was seeing was like being in a vehicle in which, as I’m relating to others, I suddenly fall back with my vehicle, or start going slower, as they continue to keep going at their pace.

What causes that is that I have a tendency, the tendency that I have is I’ve developed this sensitivity that speeds up, but isn’t grounded, because it doesn’t hold, or adhere to, the ability to hold that quality in an appropriate heart breath, and so it doesn’t hold the presence.

And so when it doesn’t hold the presence, it speeds up. It has an insight that seems to be flickering, but it doesn’t bring it through in a succinct way – and so the insightfulness that I have always seems out of reach. It seems out of touch.

It is out of touch as a result, in terms of bringing it through. So what happens is other people who don’t have that kind of quickening to the same degree, as they are going through something can, in terms of a certain way of balance that they see in terms of themselves that they know to be important, they can take and hold to that better – because they don’t have this kind of inner, overly sensitized awareness kind of quickening.

And so the way this continued like this in the dream was, as I energetically would fall back, I am able to focus as an “I am.” In other words, my beingness, groundedness, imbalance, that I know, when I settle back takes the vehicle that becomes disregardable because it speeds up and whatnot, or goes over the top a bit, and enables it to drive right back up to where they are at, and I can, actually, at that point when I am more stabilized, can give them something, can exchange something with them at that time when I am by them.

And then I proceed by and, in proceeding by, holding this condition, I’m able to mirror even more. Isn’t this interesting how that’s done? By holding onto an inner acuity wholeness of being, I can take what is awkward and imbalanced energetically, that is a falling back from others, because even though they might be more speeded up and affected by what’s going on, they are able to handle it, or fall back into a space that handles it, so I catch up because I do somehow or another go within and let go.

And so I go beyond their appearance of a wayward bifurcation, and, in this way, I access more of the natural, soar to heights with inner connective acuity, and propel beyond such a quality of the collective. Apparently this is possibly because I assimilate imbalances in myself, in the environment, with this process which is with the breath. So that’s the meditation dream.

So what is going on is the access I have to a depth within, if you don’t have the magnetized breath over the top of that, it’s unstable, it’s ungrounded, and seemingly imbalanced. And so consequently the energetic flow doesn’t come out into life in a way that others can handle, nor can I pull anything together when I am in this kind of askewness, which is like a shattering because you don’t have the heart breath there.

The reason why you can’t pull anything together and that it is like this is that the vibrational energetic lacks any magnetic alignment to a flow. The kundalini, which is what it is, to put this in another term, comes across as if out of sync.

What was happening was an attempt to cause the heart breath to go deeper, to hold onto something deeper, and we have learned how to take and stare at those various states that one’s in, and, when the heart breath is inclined to go deeper, and you don’t know quite how to hold the abiding, aren’t catching up with it, aren’t sustaining it, you can be askew, not able to sleep, let alone dream.

So also the meaning of the dream is it’s saying that I have an access that affects life in a casual way. In other words, I fall back if my over-sensitization is such it doesn’t come through, but if I hold that quality of the breath then it can affect in a casual way. In a casual way what it does is it enables everything that they’re going through to come through and be okay, and then there is something that tweaks it.

However, that casualness loses its hidden knowingness, and direct access, if I become energetically overwhelmed, in other words, overly speeded up, over the top, and do that as an easibility and fail to realize that that’s just being overly sensitive and mutable – and then it doesn’t ground things.

So the deeper meaning is, when I am able to hold the magnetic of a, we’ll call it dhikr breath, this being a breath that lets go of outer energetic influences, what opens up for grounding purposes, what opens up is this dhikr breath, we call it grounding purposes, accesses to the all-pervasive wholeness in that there is a meaningfulness I am able to reach in an inner into outer way, as a mirroring from within. In other words, you don’t have to say anything if you hold the space. Something in the energetic of your being kind of touches that whole space. It’s done very, very invisibly. You can just sit there and your presence can cause something to be incredible.

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