Posts Tagged ‘meditation and spirituality’


Louise Taylor

When we come to understand the real work involved in making a spiritual journey, we may ask the universe: why? And the answer lies in the fact that we have been given a special gift that no other form of life enjoys: freedom of choice. With such a freedom is great possibility, and great danger (as we see every day). From the universal perspective, we need to prove that we can be trusted to choose on behalf of higher purposes, rather than on behalf of lower desires. Our journey is a process of being surer and surer of the choices we make, and why.  (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, in the dreaming, it takes a lot of attention to be able to go to a deeper and deeper level inside myself. In other words, this is deep in the dream, and what’s going on is I have the whole sensation of a traveling in which there is two things. There is something that is there and then I have to catch it, and then there’s something that is there and I have to catch it, and I have to catch it, I have to catch it. And when I get up near the top it actually seems to level off a little bit, but still there is the attempt to catch it.

And, like I say, the sensation is like going up, and the direction is like that, within, in terms of the within, in terms of dream imagery. The sense is that of being drawn further and further and, as I said, there is even a leveling out in which it can seem slow at times because I can see myself waver at times. I could see myself look back. I could see myself see my physical condition when I waver; but even though I waver, I still keep going deeper and deeper.

And then eventually I reach a status quo, which is like the top of the in-breath, and what may have been difficult, such as my physical well being as I went deeper and deeper because when I glance back my physical well being may not be very good, I’ve reached a point where everything has stabilized and sound. So I’ve reached the top of an innerness. So there are no conditions, or order, or parts of self to glance back at anymore.

But then, all of a sudden, having gotten there, it switches. Now you start the out-breath, and so now it’s time to come back down into life from this inner depth. And the sensation is quite difficult because you’re doing it differently. Before you had the sensation of being pulled, or guided, or however you’d say, ascending. Now the sensation is different in that I seem to be a beingness that takes the lead, like the ego coming down. And, when I take the lead, it’s like I have to be careful, which means it’s like holding the hand of something on the deeper innerness.

I don’t just come completely down in some sort of helter skelter. So I’m coming back. Like I say, it’s different, it’s like having a hand to hold onto as I descend. And it is like something else is taking the lead – meaning my ego is taking the lead. Something else that was different in the ascent was more like the higher self, and now it’s like something is coming back into life which is more like a quality of ego now.

So when before it’s like being guided and pulled deeper and deeper as an upward sensation, and in coming down it’s different because you could come down in a way that isn’t paying proper attention. So in the coming down you have to be careful that you don’t, as a force of nature, disturb. Or, as I saw in the dream, I could come down and, if I’m not watching my step closely, I can set off a landslide right in front of me. But I am careful, and so if I do set off a landslide I don’t get caught in it. But I look and it could be a close call, but I’m holding the hand of something – so I’m careful.

So by holding onto the hand, of the inner, I see the devastation that my presence in a vibrational energetic is able to set off, in other words, my force of nature development, that is a force of nature because of the innerness that I am able to hold the hand of. But I do not get caught in it because I stay attentive.

In other words, you want to be invisible when you come into the outer. You don’t want to be out there loud and carrying on, and goofy again, because you’re going to get lost again. So the attempt is to proceed with as much care as possible so as to not cause too much, like I say, of the force of nature, and respect my whereabouts, and hereabouts, and thereabouts in terms of this motion back into life.

So I’m having to say that I was there. In other words, you could say that I can look now and can tell that I’m there when breakdowns occur, but I don’t get caught in it, and I was unaffected because I remained attentive to the unfoldment process from within – instead of its affect upon the outer.

The meaning is that I am shown the dynamic of going deeper and deeper with an inner awakening travel sensation, which is a letting go process in which I am taken. The difficulty in that is in the looking back when I should be letting go, there’s like step backs in my physical condition, and those step backs can be seen as in a state of duress because it isn’t accustomed to such a letting go and being taken somewhere deep within, that being what it’s about.

So when I come back into life after having done that, with the out-breath, it’s more consciously because I am coming from such an inner depth. I’m leaving the power and force of this inner depth, so I don’t just blank it out completely, so I watch my step. I’m careful. I have an honoring of that.

So the coming back is something that, when I’m attentive, I know about the inner consciousness, instead of just the outer, and so I know when things are fraught with danger, in terms of the outer, because everything’s changeable, can be affected.

So it is in coming back, if I am not in the proper frame of reference, in terms of the inner beingness from above, that is in the coming back kind of a type of guidance, or a type of knowingness, I will be a force in nature, a force in nature that can be harmful to myself. I may be a force of nature, anyway, whether I like it or not. I may set off landslides as it is.

So the ego can act as if this is okay, if it’s just irresponsible. And the ego, as far as the ego side of things goes, can just flick off such an effect, and the ego aspect of one’s self that one doesn’t buy into, and isn’t lost in, can let go, can step back at the right moment in time and save itself from over indulgence thanks to the hand of an inner guidance that it is able to adhere to.

So why did I have this dream? I had this dream to reach a recognition of inner into outer responsibility. It appears in this dream I am able to see and respect what there is in the outer and, therefore, have a handle on what could be, as long as I realize where I am, how I am, who is guiding me, and I follow what is necessary to tell that story, energetically, if nothing else.

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BBTH100ZIt may seem an impossibility to not take our lives personally; after all, everything we experience happens to us, or around us. But the understanding is more about not imposing our view on life, in terms of what the outcome looks like. We don’t resist what happens, we adapt to it.  It’s really the only approach that lessens the stress of living, anyway. Like in a dream, what unfolds around us has information and guidance for what we need to understand and grow from. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So, to have this experience like this, when I went to bed, you know, it was like having watched a whole day of football. It was kind of a speeded up element that one carried. It was kind of like something that moved about, that drifted about. You were kind of swept up in the momentousness of it all.

And I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to meditate being like that and, I realized that, in order to meditate, I had to let go of that; that that was something that I look forward to experiencing and seeing where that would go and whatnot, and yet having experienced that that then had some sort of peculiar effect upon me and, in order to go somewhere in a deeper level other than just have kind of a mind wandering around or something, I had to just let go of that energetic. And I wasn’t sure that it could happen, or would happen.

And then suddenly it did. And when it did the significance, then, is I am awakening in this meditation dream to come to know a result, an inner result, to what is unfolding. The common thread to all three steps is a closeness that opens up more and more and enables me to have a greater and greater net effect upon the awakening process that seems to be evolving.

Now you don’t see that as like that to begin with. In other words, to begin with you just are kind of confused looking down, seeing this dynamic going on, and it’s going back and forth that seems to be about some object or something. And then when you come down you realize you’re the object, and then as the object having to open itself back up to the whole, you come to realize that you’re caught in this vibratory tug-o-war. And now how do you let go of all of this so it all goes back to a stillness? Or, in other words, a letting go occurs, in what is a fourth step, so that the net effect results and there being no projective aspect one way or another in terms of the process.

In other words, there’s no unfolding that is defined in a specifically designed way, in which a given result has to be aspected in manifestation, or the outer. In other words, you come to recognize that you don’t want to be left in some sort of trance, or some sort of defined overall effect, that is supported by outer cause and effect.

And so you learn to contend with those extenuating circumstances by knowing how to just let go of them. And when you do this leads, or becomes, still in terms of an emptiness and silence, and when that is able to happen it’s like the last step in what had been a fairly intense process.

So to kind of recap, looking for kind of like instead of making these statements about it, looking for like how to say it as a meaning, the journey I am describing starts from far away, becomes close, and eventually so close that the energetic vibration itself is like the creator. When I am able to let go of defined, and specifically designed, correspondence that I have, in terms of my idea of a beingness, that is when I am able to know the soul.

Until then I am unfolding as portrayed above, in the symbolic dream, through the various stages of an awakening unfoldment in which there is the pretentions of somewhere to be, and somehow to be, and something to appreciate, and something to enjoy, and things that one chooses to indulge in. And yet then it all becomes something so much more when you quit all of the indulgences and are able to suddenly experience a total space of letting go.

Then I take and I go ahead and have a dream that does that. So in the dream everyone has left the place that I own. I am left with the hay in the field that needs to be cut and, as I take and I stare at that, then my attention goes back to the yard. And then there is a person who’s packing things up and they are being careful to leave the tools and equipment behind that don’t belong to them.

In other words, there’s like a total letting go, which means I can do whatever I like with this, but there’s nothing I want to do. I do not know what to make of my state of being, in which I am unable to take what is in the outer that is before me, seriously. I’m not used to having to contend with that which has no meaningful importance to me; especially that which might have been something that I went to great effort to put together and whatnot, but then come to realize that it isn’t me.

And the sensation of the scenario is I can’t bring myself to contending with that which is released for me to use. In other words, it’s there. It’s like an outer thing. It all belongs to me, but then in the dream I can’t buy into such physical conditions, or find inside myself a frame of reference to do so.

And so I guess the meaning is it’s indicating that I am not in a frame of reference which holds onto the past. I have let go of the synaptic impressions within that had me bound. I am freed up, but for what?

It was kind of a hard dream to remember because it didn’t have the intentionality of a dream content, in other words a dream content that grabs a hold of you, in terms of its seriousness, or something.

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429dWhenever we make a decision, we become something: we become the thing that does “that,” – whether it’s good or bad. And, on a certain level, that creates our identity. You could say that who we are is the sum total of what we will do and, even more importantly, what we won’t do. Yet, at the same time, to become aligned and intertwined with the universe, we also have to let go of that identity to allow ourselves to truly merge with what is higher. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well, I lost my main dream, and all I really know about the dream is, I think one of the reasons I lost it, when I opened my eyes was that I was in conflict about something. It was like kind of one side debating another side, and I couldn’t hold onto that when I opened my eyes.

And I did have an after image, and the after image is like I just mowed the lawn where I was living, and I’m thinking about it’s almost like the image of a Y-shape, in other words, like if you kind of came up the sidewalk and the sidewalk goes to the right, but I had also gone off to the left which was all grass.

And now I’d come back after I had mowed the lawn, and I’m kind of at the top of the Y on the sidewalk, and I’m sweeping up all the loose grass and stuff. But it stirred up so much dust I have to put on a little mask, and once I have a little mask on then I realize it’s still stirring up so much I need to put something over the eyes, too. That was the only image.

John: So, the theme of the dream is about definition. In other words, every person, no matter how they try, never quite gets to the essence in which everything is still. And that, as a consequence, whatever signature note that they carry creates dreams, creates images, creates a dynamic in which the outer, which appears to be a dynamic that is actively engaging, is technically an illusion in which, if one didn’t have their nature, you know, their signature note going at it, you wouldn’t have an imbalance. You would be in flow and intertwined with everything.

You naturally are, but because everyone has a signature note this, then, no matter what they do, whether it’s good action or bad action it really doesn’t matter because what matters is the definition that you find yourself buying into. And so the tone is set by your initial dream, that you don’t hardly remember, in which you find yourself as having a contrast. And, of course, whenever you feel there’s a contrast, or decision-making, or positioning, or whatever it might be, that sets in motion something that keeps you from coming to a complete stillness or an emptiness.

And then you have the image in which you are on a path, and you choose to veer this way or that way on a path, which means you cover the territory, or the lawn, that extends in one side or another of the path. And you’re experiencing this to recognize that this is just how one’s predilection is – as it tends to have to invoke, or involve, in relationship to an overall. It does not know how to just be an amoeba, or an intertwined essence, in the overall. It is always constantly struggling to stand out, or be recognized, or in some capacity function, and it does so in terms of an orientation that it has taken on, and that orientation, whether its an orientation that’s good, bad, or otherwise is still an orientation that takes one outside of what really is the natural stillness.

That’s why on, say, the Naqshbandi path you have the dhikr. Conceivably, if you could do the dhikr correctly, you would be in a deeper space inside of yourself so that you would be functioning in the outer without a mind and senses going at it to try to define your caricature in the outer. You would instead be immersed in something that you’re deeply touched by, which is the overall, the oneness, the heart of the world, the light of the world.

Even though you may not see it, you would still be putting yourself as much into that as possible, to the point where you lose yourself in that, as opposed to some mannerism instead of how you see yourself.

The same thing’s true of listening to the sound, like I do in the meditation, and as Shadeen has indicated, that’s all he does when he meditates, which is an interesting statement. I asked him something about that, and he says, “That’s all I do.” Now, of course, on what level are we talking about? And what is it that he’s able to actually truly listen to?

But what I’m noticing is that if you can listen to this completely, and not have some part of yourself loudly jumping about, you can come closer and closer, or who knows to what degree you actually are able to experience the essence of it all, instead of some mannerism, or motif, that you propound.

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