Posts Tagged ‘moving on’

John: This dream starts off with me seated at a table, casually working on something. Someone comes up and questions what I’m doing. Their questioning attitude trips a vibration in which I suddenly realize that it’s five after eight in the morning and I’ve agreed to meet a woman (someone I know in real life) at a restaurant at 8:05am.

I think to cancel because it was her idea to get together, and I can feel the heaviness of how the meeting will be. But out of respect for her I agreed to do it.

So I race over and get to the restaurant and get there at about 8:15. I’m in line, thinking she’s inside the restaurant somewhere, but all of a sudden I hear her voice speaking into a phone somewhere behind me.

She’s being loud and disruptive, and I can hear that she’s putting the blame for something on someone else. It sounded like she was trying to find out where I was, or at least that’s how I took it vibrationally. My sense is that she thinks I had set her up and then was not going to show.

So I go into the foyer where I hear her voice, and say to her, “Come on, we’re going to lose our place in line.” I can tell that she’s relieved that I’m there. She seems to have been all pent up expecting the worst.

To my surprise, she has a small boy and girl with her. Apparently she’s in a new relationship and these two kids are part of that. I sense that it’s important, in terms of how she feels about herself, for me to see her with these kids. It relieves some guilt and frees her up.

I’m surprised because I know that the responsibility of two kids will require her to place her attention in a softer way, in order to be there for them.

So this dream is showing me the effects of repressed energy and how it creates a distraction in one’s life. It’s interesting because I wasn’t really looking at this issue, in myself, any longer – I felt I had moved on. So this imagery shows that there are still issues that remain.

The question is: Did I actually move on, or did I just make a switch to relieve myself of physical anguish? Perhaps I’m still holding onto some underlying psychology that, under the right conditions, still manifests itself?

So, in the dream, this woman represents an aspect of my inner feminine that is feeling wounded from some guilt, and she can’t help herself from projecting it outwardly. It’s like a father complex: deep down this feminine aspect feels that it doesn’t have my approval about how she is, and so she can’t keep herself, or help herself, from dwelling upon it as a rejection.

Consequently, this feminine quality is creating confusion in my environment. It’s unable to keep from projecting a sense of anguish, or a self-image problem, wherever she goes. So in the imagery the woman is too loud and out of balance; she’s making a scene. She’s not facing herself.

This aspect is acting as if something in the past has left her stranded and rejected, and she can’t shake that feeling. The vibration is grief stricken; like a person who can’t keep it together. As a result, this inner feminine aspect is creating havoc – her inner essence is not at peace.

The lesson to be taken from this dream is that I’m having too great an impact on people around me. In doing so, I’m smothering their souls. I need to let people be how they are. They have to find themselves within the nature of Oneness. People need to have a freedom of choice in order to naturally mature. If something in me resonates in them as a negative reflection, there’s a risk that they can lose themselves.

Of course, this phenomenon works both ways. The solution isn’t to try to change anything per se, but to acknowledge and recognize the Divine. Ultimately, when two people interact, that is what they experience.

Everything always works from the inner into the outer. If it’s in me, it radiates to those around me. It can be positive or negative, but when it’s negative, it gets picked up on and played out as a distortion. And that distortion is what ends up in the world.

So, as with yesterday’s dream, the theme here is about contamination. Whether I’m contaminating others through what is in me, or whether others are contaminating me by what is in them. The problem is, we always interpret our issues as coming from outside of ourselves, so we put our attention outside of ourselves, and that’s what ends up creating all the problems.

Read Full Post »

John: I somehow got the meaning of this dream yesterday (see Awakening). It relates to my outer life, where I’m working on a situation that has some very dark energy associated with it – even the state government has gotten involved. It’s dealing with some very powerful forces that have taken and manipulated things to their benefit, and now I have to deal with some of those forces by writing a detailed letter.

For days now I have been doing this, venting about all the egregious behavior in this situation. And what has been happening is that I have been given all kinds of hints that something is not right in what I’m doing. Even my computer has acted up so that I have to walk away from it for a while. It is a strange, unsettling process to go through. But after a few drafts where I am ranting and raving, I settled down and took all the venom out of the letter and just stated the facts as I know them.

So the dream scenario shows that what I’m dealing with is loaded. It’s a loaded scenario and I have to navigate it carefully or I will get the filth on me, like in the thicket with the bird-doo. And I have to make sure not to stir things up, because that could make it worse. But I still have to get through the thicket to the clearing.

A great teacher discussed an example of how this works. She described a student of hers, an older woman, who oversaw a secretarial pool staffed with a lot of younger women. The young women were always talking about lipstick and boys. She had the responsibility for the work to get done, but the women were just kind of unconscious about it. So she began to resent the women for not being more mature.

So she complains to the teacher, and finally the teacher tells her that this situation would not be happening if there wasn’t something that she needed to go through, that she needed to experience in order to be done with it and be able to move on to the next place. The woman needed to take a look at her own attitude and mannerisms and see if she could somehow let go of, or transcend, her judgments. After all, the young women were just being young women.

Time goes on. As circumstances would have it, the woman takes a vacation far away, someplace where she can completely let go of everyday life. And as soon as she comes back, she gets promoted out of her job to a job with a separate office of her own, no longer overseeing the young women. When she tells the teacher about it, the teacher says she “must have gotten it.” So now her life has moved on to something else.

So my dream suggests that I got it, that I made it through and that I can now get on to something else, i.e, the excitement I feel to be back on familiar terrain. Because this was an unusual situation to go through, and the way I was handling it – venting my anger in the letter – would have stirred things up for a long time to come.

And what a waste of time it would have been, not to mention the personal burden of having to deal with this dark energy for a long period. When I try to unravel a problem that I have in my life, in which I have gotten myself twisted up, I can get caught in the maze of venting; it takes over. So I lose my clarity and the venom can gain momentum so I no longer know how to stop. I can spend hours at something and get absolutely nowhere because I have too much stirred up inside.

In that state it’s like I feel things as a personal wound, and then I get an almost righteous attitude about doing something about it. There’s a quality in me that loves to disturb, that’s into a good fight or something. We all do it to a degree: when we get into anger, part of us likes the anger, and when we get into some stress, part of us likes the stress.

We seem to think that we should take these situations head-on, almost wrestle with them, when it’s better just to step away and not feed energy into them. It’s like the idea where you should “throw love at it.” Or if you know how, to just be in a certain heartfelt place so that you mirror the situation back instead of getting involved personally. You find a way to get through, or around, it without getting the bird-doo on you. Then you proceed on, you do not perpetuate the problems. You take the opportunity to make a big step personally.

So in this way, our enemies (our challenges) are our friends, because they afford us the best opportunities for personal growth.

Read Full Post »