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Posts Tagged ‘nightmare of a dream’

John: In my dream, I notice that when I introduce something into the scene that I can’t alter, or can’t flow with, I literally start to sweat in my sleep. In fact, there was a whole part of this dream that I can’t remember the details of, but I can feel that I was actually flowing somewhere. When I woke up, however, the part that stood out was the fact that I was sweating from it.

What I conclude from this is that as long as I’m with the flow, or maintain the flow, I’m okay. But as soon as something obstructs it, or if I continue on as if nothing has changed, denying it, that’s when I break out into a sweat. I’m having a physical reaction to the dream.

There were times during the dream that I could see that I had a lot before me – as if I was in a huge space full of things. Yet it seemed that I was able to handle it all in a natural way. I wasn’t necessarily identifying what I was coming in contact with, I was just there with it.

What I noticed then, was that the degree to which I isolated out something from the flow, that would become the problem. It’s not unlike what we saw in your dream, where you were in a huge warehouse and basically were stopped by the first item you focused on – it prevented you from getting any further.

So it’s similar for me here – I’m able to handle everything until I begin to isolate, or separate, pieces out from the whole. As soon as I do, whatever it is becomes fixed in its nature. That fixing causes me to be unable to flow with it, and feeling the stress of that blockage causes me to physically sweat.

So I find myself catapulted from a crowded, flowing space, into a vast emptiness with one particular, immovable, thing. It’s like a contamination, or something that still needs to be worked out. It causes a disturbance in me, and because I’m unable to get it to shift, or move, it causes stress.

In other words, I’m left to cope with the fact that I have no answer in terms of how to deal with this particular problem. At times I try to shift it. Other times I treat it as irrelevant in terms of the overall, expecting it to simply go away on its own. But nothing works.

My inability to resolve this causes a breakdown within; the outer manifestation of that is me sweating, as if I were running a fever.

What does all this mean? In this dream imagery I’m not actually seeing specific items, it’s more about certain energies that I’m dealing with. And what I think this process is showing me is that I’m unaccepting of certain things in me, or in life, and that creates a blockage and a great stress.

It’s interesting, because out of the huge diversity of life, whether outside of me or internally, getting hung up on certain small details that, in the scheme of things are totally irrelevant, can still bring the whole process to a halt. It’s amazing, but we’re all are doing it all the time.

What I’m being stopped by is shown to be immovable. How does one deal with immovable things? They accept them, as part of the landscape, so to speak. But for these particular aspects of life, or me, I’m not quite able to take that step – yet.

Consequentially, I react as if I have a right to dictate that something should be this way or that, instead of flowing comfortably along with what I cannot change. But the time has come for me to be okay with this trait, or condition in life, and to stop trying to think that it’s “in the way,” or needs fixing. I can’t keep generating this same reaction (sweating, in the case of the dream) over and over again.

What I’m understanding too is that this particular stumbling block has a pattern to it. It keeps coming back as some little thing. This pattern could be nothing more than being bumped into by a stranger and getting irritated. The pattern is the automatic irritation that always follows once you’ve been bumped.

How do you get to a point where someone can bump into you and you’re indifferent, or you don’t get irritated? Until you find that point, it will keep coming back over and over again. And you might even be thinking that getting irritated makes sense when someone bumps you – you might defend it. But that irritation is actually evidence that you are holding onto something, and it’s holding you back.

So this is the type of irritation I’m suffering from in my sleep. I can pretend it’s insignificant, or that it will go away, or that it can be shifted, but that isn’t facing the issue gracefully. I need to be embracing it as part of life.

I keep saying no to it, and as long as I refuse to budge, and I maintain this unshakable attitude, I’m resigned to my suffering (and sweating).

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