A Place on the Breath

There are many types of abuse in life, not just in the external, but on the inner landscapes as well. For a dreamer, it can be a way to show the “relationship” is no longer working. But what relationship? It could be an old defense mechanism that causes more problems than it fixes, or any number of psychologies we use to navigate life. Add to that, our inner masculine and feminine and the constant tug of war between these different viewpoints and approaches. Sometimes a higher perspective can bring clear air. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: So, in the second dream I remember, okay, there’s a woman that’s had a long term relationship with a man. And, in this relationship, he’s actually been somewhat abusive to her, in that he’s gone out with me and he’s gone out with other women. And he’s not really there for her. But she seems to stay in the relationship. 

So I’ve taken her up to the rooftop of a building and even jumped myself across from that rooftop to the rooftop on another street. And because I feel like up here on the rooftops, when she looks out over the city, maybe she can better look at that relationship and see that he’s not really faithful, and he’s in some way somewhat abusive. 

And I want her to come with me or move on from that. But I recognize, even though I tell her what he’s done, I realize that she’s really not going to leave that relationship. So I just have to move ahead on my own without her.

John: Well you’re trying to portray another aspect of letting go – I’m not sure I agree with the image of how you’re doing it, but you’re trying to create the letting go as if you can take and go into a whole different schematic, like up on the top of a rooftop or something. Or, in other words, away from the density of something that is more rooted, and more basic, and more guttural. 

And that, somehow or another, then, there is a sense of freedom from which one can just transition, or leave, or let go. But I’m not sure that it quite works that way. I think you have to let go in creation, because you’re doing this on an in-breath.

Jeane: I felt like, from the rooftop, you could get a perspective that she wasn’t using when she was kind of more down in it. 

John: Yes, it’s an in-breath; you’re doing it from an in-breath. I’m used to a perspective of seeing the vibrational stillness as it first comes out, as a thought, and yet it’s still just close to the stillness. When you’re going to the top of something you’re aspecting it again towards a proximity of the stillness, but on the in-breath side of things. 

I mean, the most dense point is the point all the way down to the bottom of the breath, actually, it’s so dense and so compact, that that’s where it’s a clarity point, too, because you can be at a point where you can truly let go, or at least have the potential of letting go because it’s just too dense to handle. 

And the flip side of that, I guess, is trying to get a clarity and a spaciality – I suppose people do that. I suppose that is the way it kind of works – developing an understanding and a recognition of something. It still is on the breath, though. You’re still looking at something on the breath, and going into the river. Still  you’re trying to go high on the breath letting go of something. I guess it’s all kind of the same. 

Ultimately I believe we just have to let go of the breath completely. I guess it does need to be looked at from the standpoint of high on the in-breath, just like I look at it high on the out-breath coming down, which is near that. And when it gets like that, maybe it still has to take that last step of letting go completely of the breath, however, just like something that’s coming down as the first thought from the stillness has a pent-upism, you know, to be lived into life, just like the other is a letting go, to go into the stillness.

There isn’t the degree of pain upon the mirror of the heart when you have that recognition, but it still has a small aspect of the breath, it’s still not into the emptiness and the total stillness. But it’s interesting. It’s interesting to note that that’s what it looks like to be high on the in-breath again. 

I would say that’s even above the angelic – as far as a place on the breath – because you don’t necessarily have a value orientation there. You’re kind of at the last thresholds of exasperatingly letting go; exasperatingly in terms of running into the river. The letting go to the recognition of something more, high on the in-breath.

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An Expressive Quality

Paul Kuczynski

It’s interesting to ponder where good writers get their story ideas from. Some, certainly, come from life experience, but how many stories that we’ve loved over the years have come from dreams? This dream has a love affair between two women, a new job at a city newspaper, the helping in the arrest of a dangerous man, and then the running along a roof top to find some new clothes. All these cinematic images involve inner aspects of the dreamer, and show how her unconscious tries to summarize a state of affairs between different elements within. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: In my dream I’ve moved to the city. It’s nighttime and I’ve gone to a woman’s apartment. She’s a young woman; it feels like she’s my lover, but she’s also a lover to a number of other people, several other people there also.

And it feels like I’ve been with her, and then she’s going to be going to a party. So I go with her, initially, to a party at this man’s apartment. I’m just there briefly. Then I come back to her place, and I think she tells me that it’s like we can only be together every so often, we can’t have too much contact.

And I’m informing her I’ve gotten a job in the city at the newspaper, and then I go from there to the job. It’s a part of the newspaper that’s being run by a fairly older, almost elderly, Chinese woman in this part of the newsroom, and it seems to be part of the newsroom where you go out and gather and check facts, behind other people writing the stories.

And even though I’ve just started there a short while before, she’s already pulling me in to kind of work as her right-hand person. I realize some of the other people there are a little miffed by that, and it also means that what I thought was a temporary job I’m beginning to feel I may be doing a little bit longer because it seems kind of important to do.

And then I leave, and what I get involved in in this next part of the dream is, it feels like the man whose apartment I had visited earlier, who is throwing a party, is wanted by the police or other authorities now, because he’s doing something that’s poisoning the atmosphere, or hurting people. And I help them catch him. And he has some kind of an instrument that he uses, that’s causing the harm, and it’s like I go in and unplug this.

Plus I’m trying to find out what things he might have contaminated that people could touch, and it’s like a white powder or something he sometimes leaves on the wall, and some of it falls in the water and poisons his own pet. So I help the police capture and hold him.

And then there’s a slight shift, and I seem to be going somewhere on my own, except instead of being down on the road, I find myself on the roof of this large complex building – like I go down to the edge and realize it’s too far to jump down. Then I notice there’s several doorways that lead into the building from the roof, so I reject the first doorway, and I go over to the edge of the building where there’s another roof and I go in.

And the first thing I see is a shop, and I realize if I’m staying longer I might need some more clothes, but the first shop I go into everything seems too fluffy or frilly or for parties or things, so I leave that shop. And I suddenly see a shop that I could walk into, that in past dreams has always been on the ground floor of any dream I’ve had, but I recognize it because it’s a shop where I can always go in and find something that will fit, or work for me, except now it seems to be on an upper floor. That was the whole dream.

John: You’re working with the polarity of a closeness, that is a closeness to kind of a feminine understanding of things. You’re working with that, and so you have this quality that enables you to be touched in some way, and then that quality then opens up to where you’re able to resonate or reflect in a particular way; project out in a particular way.

So basically what you are seeing is that your adherence to a certain quality of inner balance has led to a certain kind of expressiveness, that you have in your nature, that can exude out, and be visible, and reveal things, and it’s a direct correlation to having gone to a certain inner depth inside of yourself for you to be able to do this.

However, as you do this you jar and you shake things up, in terms of the masculine side of yourself, that is still guilty of something, and that has a certain quality of imbalance. So when you have a certain quality of imbalance, the typical thing to do is the feminine tries to figure out how to please that, but you’re going back and forth has opened up and revealed something to which you recognize there is this imbalance, in a certain masculine way, and you have learned, instead of trying to please it, you’re recognizing the imbalance and can denote how it is that that needs to be dealt with, arrested, or whatever.

With this dream you’re going backwards and you’re pointing out that, for example the first part, this kind of corresponds to the feminine side of your nature having in the past sat in kind of a quiet-tudeness, basically working on the ground floor of things, and was able to develop a certain sight and balance, or access a certain innerness of your own being.

You had to do that in order to catch up with things because you had them misaligned. You had a misaligned understanding of how the masculine was and, as a consequence, it affected you in strange ways, which is how blind-side things work. And after developing a bit of that which is actually difficult to have to stay on the ground floor because it’s quiet and out of sight, you have developed a certain understanding at a depth of motion, of movement inside of yourself, and so now you can basically express this, or do this, at a higher level in a more dynamic scenario of expansion.

So what’s interesting is you had the part of yourself that has to delve down at a certain depth and that’s called into manifestation. That’s where it was feminine, or into catching up with where it is and how it is that you really need to feel. And that’s kind of almost a condensed quality. And then from that condensed quality, then you have an expressive quality that’s able to come out in which you’re able to shine certain feminine values, and views, and beliefs and whatnot that have a nice little twang to them.

And so your higher self is saying, okay, this is the scenario you were in, this is what happened when you were natural, this is what you need to now see, and this is a greater freedom that you now have because something has shifted and changed in terms of how you’re able to be. That’s a psychology dream.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: An Expressive Quality