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Posts Tagged ‘opening up inside’

Jeane: In the next dream, it feels like I’m in a large house with a lot of people of all different ages. I seem to know many of them from the days when I did seminars in New York City. There are only a few things I really remember from the dream because of all the people coming and going.

One is that I have a son who’s very young. It feels like I have to carry him around part of the time, but sometimes he seems able to walk. One of the peculiarities is that, now and then, he would find some hand grenades and he would pull the pin out of one of them. I would just be waiting for it to blow up, but it didn’t blow up.

Then my son would place the grenade in different places, perhaps tucked in some blankets, where someone else might come and find it. I never knew what was going to happen. I never saw the grenade blow up, but I didn’t know what to do except pick my son up and hold him, or get the other kids out of the room.  

I kept thinking maybe I could pick up the grenade and throw it, but what if it happened to go off at that moment? I never knew what to do about the grenade.  

The other thing I really remember about the dream is that, at one point, I went into a backyard and there was a stream that ran through the area. It was actually almost like a canal of green water.

At first I thought the water was dark green from algae, when there isn’t enough oxygen and it’s sort of scummy. Another time I went back and I thought I saw a dead water bug there except that it was much larger – it looked almost like a huge dead spider – but it actually started swimming underwater, so it was okay.

There were two of them. Someone picked up a frog and I thought it looked dead too, but then it started swimming away. At that point I noticed that the water had become all cleaned up and it was a really gorgeous green color. I could even see a little sand at the bottom and everything. It was all okay now.  

Those are the only things I really pulled out of that dream.

John: Again you’re playing with the polarity of something that’s ordinary in the outer, in terms of how it effects things, and then what’s divine in it, or the greater meaningfulness of it, can come through and bring about an inner alignment.

So here you start similarly to the way you did in the last dream (see Coal into Diamonds) where you’re removing the coal from the basement. This time you’re again dealing with the darker aspects of your inner depths and, as you do, you’re stirring up issues or aspects that can upset you in some fashion. Yet you’re still proceeding because you know that that’s what you need to do.

You (the feminine) don’t think twice about it. The masculine might think about it, but you don’t. In pushing further, you’re going to run into situations that are potentially explosive, where you can reveal or unearth aspects that are deeply buried, which can disturb you to a degree where you can become reactive.

In other words, these specific elements, that sit at some depth inside you, are like bombs (grenades). When you touch them (awaken them), it can set in motion some very explosive events. In other words, when you dig deeply and touch these issues, it’s like you’re pulling the pin out of a grenade.

Ordinarily (whether a grenade or a suppressed aspect), it’s an energy that’s kept in a state of balance because of its suppression (the pin is still intact). Because you’re not facing it, it stay’s dormant. But when you do face it, it’s like it becomes alive. It becomes more potent.

Rather than let this affect you or hurt you in some way, you have enough sense to know how to handle this energy in an almost prankster way, by putting it under blankets, or hidden in a bed or something. In other words, you’re buying some time to make the process of taking it in – re-absorbing it and updating it – easier.

Initially, when you start this waking up process… Well, it’s like when you first begin meditating, you can stir things up inside that can actually make your life seem more miserable than before because what you may have suppressed inside rises to the surface. When it does, it’s no longer in balance (through suppression), but active and at play in your current day, outer consciousness. It can then sometimes cause knee-jerk reactions as you try to regain, or attain, a new state of balance.

So, what your dream is saying is, okay, you’re in a process where you’re digging up the coal aspects in your nature, some of which are pretty explosive and potent. And, as you proceed, you’re going to have to deal with them. You’re going to have to address these issues, even if that means “putting them under the covers,” i.e., sitting with them a while to ease the transition, so that ultimately they can change.

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John: I thought to continue with your intriguing dream from yesterday (see The Shift).

On a dream level, you see all this chaos going on around you. But, on a feeling level, you’re okay with it. That’s important to recognize. You’re just making note of everything.

You’ve kept this chaos at a certain distance (the house was given to “me” and the chaos is from “my family”), because part of you isn’t fully admitting that it’s you: you’ve pushed it off so it’s one step removed.

So this extended family shows up and it represents a type of access that comes from many sources. None of it is making much sense to you, but that’s okay. You somehow go along with everything in its state of disarray. What this is depicting is an “other side” state of being, where you aren’t relating in the conventional, purely physical, human being way of doing things. You’ve opened up something greater.

So you can’t relate to it in the old way anymore, and you have to be comfortable with that. New access is coming in and you need to be comfortable in the uncomfortability. And, ultimately it becomes funny, in a humorous way, which is only possible because you feel okay with it – the chaos isn’t stressing you out.

Not feeling stressed out tells you that there’s another part in you that knows something. This part is aware that something has been given, although you don’t quite acknowledge that it’s passing through you. You’re aware of the person who gives it – your mother’s mother – but you don’t see it as being given directly to you.

That separation is what causes the chaos to erupt. You see it as being given to something that’s separate from you, and so rather than being completely integrated, it becomes a seed coming through that you have to come to terms with. Part of the journey of a spiritual practice is to get to a point where something can open up inside you and you can be used by the universe in some fashion. In your way of opening up, it’s easier for you if it’s given to someone else; that makes it more palatable.

In fact, it’s not just palatable, it’s acceptable. If it were given to you more directly, it might have caused even greater chaos. What’s amazing about this dream is that no matter how much chaos is happening, you’re okay with it all. From the standpoint of average human rationality, you would probably have issues and feel stressed, but you don’t.

Your container presence (feminine) is important in helping what’s meant to unfold. You are able to hold the whole scenario and discern what’s important and what isn’t. You know when to put out a fire, and when to accept a fire. You have a sense, or a feeling in your bones, about it and it has come from the preparation in the first shift, where you were given your mother’s house. That has prepared you for handling this greater unfolding.

In other words, you know how to laugh at it and how to help it all come together. So, as bizarre as your dream might sound, it’s really not bizarre at all.

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Jeane: The thing that I would note about my dreams last night is they always took place in the dark. It was always night out and they seem to involve men I knew from my past, when I was in college or shortly after that.

In one dream one of the men is pursuing me. I’m always trying to stay out of the room where he is so as not to end up having to interact with him, but I can only prevent that so long.

Then a woman friend and I go into the room and there is no way that I can avoid him. I approach him but also ignore him a bit; I don’t want him to think I’m avoiding him, but at the same time I don’t want to give him too much attention because I remember him as being possessive. So there was a little maneuvering that went on between approach and avoidance. 

That evolved into a dream that involves another man I know who is very accomplished and talented. He is with a redheaded woman who has a lot of power. They are sitting in chairs, almost like thrones, in a room full of people.

He approaches me and I do a little dance to stay out of reach until at one point we’re together. It seems like we’re going to make love, but I want to make love while being on top, kissing him, but also maintaining a certain distance.

In terms of the energy of the dream, I would say it felt like I again could move around in a slightly circular way, as I moved in and out of the different rooms.

John: Whenever we experience dreams where something is trying to get our attention, in the case of these two images that’s represented by the men, it has to do with the way we take on moods, mannerisms, or patterns that suppress or block out the information that is trying to come through.

These patterns end up creating a situation where that information, or energy, becomes stifled, or pent-up. So it tries to get our attention – it wants us to acknowledge or recognize it. This can apply to physical aspects as well as emotional. Our patterns tend to shield us from issues that we’ve already concluded are more than we want to address or take on.

The schematic of this dream, though, is a little different. This information is coming alive – it’s awakening and opening up. It’s still searching for its parameters in terms of what is right and what isn’t.

The subjective side of the feminine nature knows what the flow is by the way it feels in the body, and what you’re doing is you’re finding yourself fighting that flow (i.e., you’re avoiding the encounters). That creates a veil to a potential greater sense of awareness.

If you think of what is going on in your waking life in relation to this, you could say that you are speeded up because you are out of the comfort zone of your home and in a new place (Las Vegas). That means that certain avenues of connection, within yourself, are able to come out now because of the timing and the place. So you are trying to go through new reverberations within to determine what parts of you are connected and what aren’t, in terms of what you need in this new situation.

So this dream develops your ability, on a sense level, to tell subjectively whether something is right or not right, in such a way that it can open up and you won’t repress it. It’s coming out anyway, so now you have to maintain your sanity in relationship to it.

My dream centers around the scenario of being sick and feeling miserable to a point where I’m unable to put my attention on anything else. As long as I’m dwelling on that, it only enhances my suffering because I’m only looking at things in terms of how they personally affect me. The sickness is consuming me.

At some point in the dream, my soul let go and I stopped focusing on my specific ailments. I just went into a state of emptiness, dropping back from my physical condition to something deeper within. That’s when I notice that I’ve reached a stillness that assimilates my condition.

I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I hadn’t reached this state. As soon as I start to look at my miserableness again, my condition consumes me. 

What this shows is that when a person transcends dwelling upon particular conditions – anything in life – they’re more able to find a natural flow. The flow comes out from the wholeness, from the overall, and not from our specific details and idiosyncrasies.

I felt a wonderful sensation of allowing myself to be swept along in the overall. There was a peace and quietness that went beyond my physical condition. This was a state where I could experience myself as a part of the whole.

When I start to cough, because I think I’m sick or need to cough, etc., my attention goes back to suffering with my physical ailments instead of letting go and being in a state that’s naturally able to be nurtured.

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