Posts Tagged ‘our psychologies limit our ability to connect spiritually’

John: I had two short dreams.

In this first dream, I drive up to a large pull-up door. It’s a door that you could actually drive through when it’s open, but I stop in front of it. There’s something on the other side that’s colorful, that’s fascinating, that’s wonderful but, as far as I know, the door is closed to me.

Suddenly the attendant says, “Oh, what the heck.” I’m not supposed to be able to go inside, but he’s going to open the door so I can at least take a peek and see it for myself.

I’m standing just outside the door, but now that it’s open, all I see is a grayish mud. I’m told the colors on the roof are incredible, so I absentmindedly step inside to see them and I nearly fall down because the mud is too soft. My hand goes down and gets full of goo. It’s like a shock to my system.

The shock-like effect is because I’m not quite “getting” it. I never do get a glimpse of the beauty that’s being talked about. All I can do is hear about it. I can’t go through the door yet; the floor hasn’t firmed up enough.

This image is similar to the idea of being clear enough in terms of my own issues that I can look at others and see them for who they are, without any personal projection. This image I showing me that I’m still not there yet. What’s beautiful and colorful is still a bit out of reach.

In the next image, I’m lying in a bed against a window. It’s 10am and daylight outside, beyond the curtain. I peek out and see a person standing there, six inches from the window. I see a man’s back.

I don’t make out his entire outline because I’m groggy, I haven’t gotten up yet (it’s like I don’t want to create the contrast).

Then, all of a sudden, I feel like someone’s stepping through the window, like a person’s leg is coming in. My thought is to grab the leg and hold it so that it can’t be pulled back out.

But then I feel frozen, unable to move. I can’t lay there and grab the leg at the same time.

This scenario is creating the relationship between what’s on the outside and what’s on the inside. So again it’s like a shock and surprise. I can’t quite accomplish what I want to accomplish or see what I’m trying to see.

I’m not able to actually be in a neutral enough space within. I’m projecting biases around me and I’m finding myself comfortable being that way. As a consequence, that interferes with my letting go and being in the overallness, and I’m seeing that something isn’t quite possible.

So I can’t actually see the light (colors) but I can hear about it. It’s not quite soaking in, it isn’t quite firmed up yet, it’s still in process; I can’t step through the door.

I also can’t quite integrate what’s in the outer (of the window of illusion) and me in the bed. I can’t quite deal with that because they’re still two separate things to me, and to the degree to which I toy with that I’m apt to shock myself.

Of course what kind of a waking life scenario is behind these images? Well you could say a big scenario is the idea of the future, and in order to have a better future, we have to figure out how to hold this inner space inside, no matter what’s occurring in the outer world.

If we aren’t able to be empty in ourselves, then how can we expect others to find the compassion, and the recognition, and the coming together, and the intertwining, and the wholeness for themselves?

That’s the huge picture and it has to do with the whole. But of course I’m being shown that I even have difficulty from a personal standpoint in that I’m not even handling the little stuff.

This whole spiritual process begins with having to deal with the dark side of ourselves. Even in that we can get caught in the reflections of going back and forth and back and forth. At some point we have to take a leap forward into something that’s an overallness, or a wholeness. As one attempts to do that, the realization comes that the light is not necessarily what we perceived it to be, and we have to make another shift to realize that all the light is inside us.

The light we connect to isn’t some light that we find as a support in a collective way, as if there is greater clarity outside ourselves. We’re all created out of everything and we have everything in us. But, are we finding it? Are we working from the principle of the whole, rather than from the principle of figuring out how to pull all the component parts together? Are we acknowledging the fact that everything is already intertwined?

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John: In your dream Breaking Free, you saw the image of the dancer in high heels, and that portrayed a freer vibration in you that was trying to come across. That vibration, that mannerism, was a way of flowing with one’s self so that you can stand above the burdens of the day.

It’s not that the dancing was exactly the right expression, but what was behind it was an aspect of inner focus. It requires attention to hold that note, that freedom, in the midst of the outer world, and most people aren’t able to do that.
But then we saw that in your next dream (An Uneasy Feeling), you lost that vibration – you couldn’t hold it – so you were unable to flow with life or be open to various expressions. The result is that you experienced a crash, which is a type of depression.

And then in my dream (see The Dark Side), we saw how carrying, or feeding, the negative in oneself can alter the course of events in undesirable ways. The state of being negative in one’s viewpoint is a state of being even further removed from the flow and the freedom that is natural to a human life. It’s a disconnection that can have disastrous consequences.

We see people on the Vegas Strip walk around behaving in ways they never would in their home town. That’s because the local mores, would, in most cases, be too prejudicial against them. People would cast such negative energy towards them that they would become self-conscious and, ultimately, it would cause them to shrink back into the “normal” way of things.

But here in Vegas, everything is carefree and nothing really seems to matter. Everyone lets their hair down. That desire for freedom is actually a very positive impulse trait.  

We see the same freedom in young people, but as they get older they take on a more conservative presence. Even though we were all young once, as a group, older people frown on the behavior of the young. Such constant negative judgment slowly takes its toll and the young begin to fall in line with the “ways of the world.”

Or take an even younger child, who explores the world with such an innocence. There’s something about that that’s really refreshing for an adult to see. But all the while, the focus of the adults is placed on trying to shape the child to be more predictable and controllable.

It’s often said that a young child is close to the angelic realms, but then they’re taught about “the boogie man,” or are told that invisible friends aren’t real, and they lose those levels inside themselves where other realities have play. They lose their connections and end up anchored in the denser outer world with everyone else. It’s a negative pressure that eventually snuffs out the innocence of the child.

The idea here is that when we, as individuals, as a group, or as a society, radiate negativity towards others – in terms of judgment, anger, and all the rest – we impact the course of events in a negative way. We affect our own lives, and the lives of those around us.

In the example of our friend (see An Uneasy Feeling), he walks around in a negative vibration. To spend a lot of time with him can be very draining energetically. Any effort to change his perspective becomes a battle. He’s intent on making his vibration stick as if he’s right, and he’s good at doing that. He’s learned to fight the entire world.

But that’s not a natural state for humans. Life comes at us in various ways, and we are designed to go with the flow of it. Our only resistance should be in saying “no” to the aspects of life that are not in line with our deeper connections. When we consciously choose in favor of our universal connections, we confirm them, and we strengthen them.

But most of us do the opposite. We let go of our universal connections in favor of personal indulgences, such as old patterns, defense mechanisms, and psychologies that separate us from others and the world around us. We may do it as a “survival” mechanism, but in truth it becomes a self-destructive process that feeds the negative and severs our connection to inner guidance and flow.

That’s what the work of most spiritual endeavors really entails: making the journey back (letting go) from our ego-based perspective that supports our feelings of separation, toward a universal-based perception that includes us in, and is connected to, everything.

It’s every person’s choice whether or not to be a part of the whole we find ourselves born into. Whether we accept that notion or reject it doesn’t change the truth of it. But our decision changes completely our relationship to it and, ultimately, our human possibility.

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John: In my dreaming, the theme was having to deal with the parts of oneself that need to open up.

What prevents us from opening up to our inner connections is our indulgence in the senses, and our ego-identity, and all of our psychological mannerisms that we have learned to present to the outer world. This creates a shallowness that chokes off the depth we have inside us.

Another way to say this is, we can feed our egos and our personal needs, and feel ourselves separate from the universe around us, or we can experience our spiritual connection, through a greater inner depth, to everyone and everything around us. They are mutually exclusive. The degree to which we allow our old patterns and psychologies to dictate our view of life, is the degree to which we cut ourselves off from our innate universal connection and spiritual guidance.

So, how can we constrain the ego-based aspects of us that we use to navigate this cultural society? It can be compared to an unruly child who has to be taken under the authority of a parent in order to stop its willfulness.

As any child grows, they begin to question which limitations are important and start to find their own way. As they emerge from the shadow of their parents, they come into their own, in a combination of what they have been taught and what they naturally have inside them. They learn to function within the greater design.

That’s what we see as a normal process, in the outer, in terms of growing up, but it can be stated in another way in terms of the inner, which is what my dream does.

In this dream, a person has financial resources available to him. He’s not yet an adult. His parents monitor his development. The resources, over time, have diminished and he comes to feel the loss of that stability. In other words, his parents are always pruning him and guiding him (his funds are diminishing), and the day arrives when he has to be allowed his freedom.  

Under the guidance of the parents these financial resources were not allowed to consume his identity. He wasn’t yet at a point where he knew how to handle them without getting lost. Over time, the degree to which the indulgence is still a latent pattern that he can’t shake off, there’s a sorrow over the loss, i.e., he has trouble letting go. He gets increasingly frustrated with his parents.

The time arrives when all this young man has left, just before he’s on his own, is $10,000. Clinging to that resource he unconsciously realizes that he’s distancing himself from his parents.  

Finally, his mother says to him, “I know you feel you know more than your parents and are angry at us for what has happened, so I have decided to quit interfering. You can do what you want with the money left. You’re on your own.”  

Isn’t that a strange dream?

The dream is causing me to see that I’m overly involving myself with current financial conditions at the expense of my inner development. I used to do that much more than I do now but, then again, to what degree do I still allow that indulgence?

That’s always a question: I may have come a long way, but what greater depth am I still cutting myself off from? What I’m cutting off in myself by this mannerism is the linkage to Creation – to the feminine. So a frustration has set in.

The frustration comes from me (the young man), yet at the same time, the parents (also part of me) realize that at some point I have to break free because that indulgence closes things off. The feminine sees this more than I do.

In other words, I’m letting the indulgence dictate. We all do this: we cycle around and create an internal dialogue with one of our psychologies and we go around and around with it and it has a hold on us.

The time has arrived where I have to take this inner state and own it, as something which has been handed out to me as the thought of God. In the mishandling of it (the money and the psychology), it becomes my curse, so to speak, to do with as I want.

The challenging question is, can I take that step and not let go of the connection I’m meant to have with Creation that’s of utmost importance? Because one has to manage do both.

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