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Posts Tagged ‘purpose of a spiritual life’

John: I keep dreaming that there is a dominant, inner expression that dictates the outer life. This is an influence that is familiar, deep within my natural frame of reference. However, the loudness of everything else – the superficial – drowns out this effect over the short run. 

So this influence silently dictates the overall way things unfold, even though it’s not readily apparent in the outer.

In one image, I see this inner expression represented as a skeletal frame that holds things together. The outer features are what I notice at first, and am apt to be swayed by – like the skin and the flesh on this frame – on a moment-by-moment basis. As a result, the controlling feature in life (the inner expression) takes a backseat to everything else in the outer environment. Or so it seems, even though in the long run the skeletal backbone to life is what ultimately wins out.

In other words, what I saw is this skeletal structure, and it comes all the way down to the ground. So there’s something about the structure that makes an energetic connection to everything that’s rooted in creation. Then the shell, the body, the flesh, and the skin on it is what people pay attention to, it’s what they see, so they’re not aware that there is an aliveness to the structure that actually dictates what is meant to be and how things are to unfold.  

Everyone is paying attention to what is more apparent or obvious, i.e., the denser, outer layer, which is just the wrapper, or the exterior of the skeletal structure. So people base their choices and actions according to appearances, because that’s the easiest to sense and to see.

In other words, the invisible skeletal structure carries the energetic or vibration of what’s meant to be, not the skin and the flesh and everything else that’s visible. But it’s the outer, visible layer that has a loudness that captures the senses, and draws everyone’s attention.

Of course, in the long run, what wins out, in terms of what is meant to be, is determined by the skeletal structure.

Isn’t that a strange image?

So in this dream I feel fortunate in knowing what is actually affecting what manifests in the outer. It’s a wonderful feeling of relief to know that there is inner guidance, determined or destined to come to the forefront of my being.

First of all, I sense this in a fairly general way, but then I realize that my attention is drawn more to the skeletal structure than it is to the outer layers. I do not readily grasp this.

I can feel it and I can know it, but I lose sight of this knowing when I’m caught up in some situation that requires my immediate attention. Even then, when I’m unable to hold onto an inner balance, I’m comforted in a subconscious way with knowing that there is the essence of what is meant to be, like it’s waiting for me to go there, to look there.

In the dream, because I’ve made the choice to have the inner framework to life dictate how I’m meant to live, even my mistakes and detours are simply guided and shaped into what is intended. I find that amazing.

In other words, as I fumble about it’s almost like something else is directing me because whatever I’m doing is being transformed somehow. It’s affected. Sometimes I suffer when this happens, but at other times my input is redirected and guided to bring out the intended inner effect.

I come to know and trust this inner expression, even though it’s not visible; for me it is just as real as what is visible. What is visible in the outer is there for appearances only. I’ve become able to see the deeper thread of things, beyond the noisy surface.

This cannot be said, however, for my coarser nature that is still dominated by the appearances of the outer world, fed only by the physical senses.

What I’m describing is a subtle awakening, of my consciousness, to that which lies deep within my nature. It gives me joy each time I’m able to break through the outer barriers and be touched by this inner essence, which waits patiently for me to attune myself to its existence at the core of my being.

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John: So, in this dream I’ve placed my attention on a friend who is going out of his way to help me in some manner. I’m not sure how he’s helping, but I’m trying to be open to that help. So I have to stop what I’m doing. I was heading out somewhere and I had my suitcase and bags with me. I hadn’t quite gotten them into the trunk of the car when I had to drop everything and put my attention upon what my friend had in mind.

I’m directed to go up an outer stairway – it’s like a scaffold – on a large building. I climb the steps to the top to do something on the roof. Whatever I’m to do on the roof isn’t important. What’s important is that I’ve gotten out of the way of what I was doing, because it keeps me from indulging in worrying about my bags that I left out in the open on the street.

As I climb the stairwell, my friend goes around the corner of the house to work on something for me. When I come back down I notice that the stairway isn’t attached very well to the outside of the building. It’s a little loose. It’s not going to fall or anything, but it could be better connected. It’s also an awfully big step to come off of this rooftop onto the stair, but it’s okay. It’s a little scary, but I can do it.

When I come back down, I go around the building to see how things are going and I’m surprised to find that my friend has enlisted the services of another person; between them they have finished something for me.

While all of this is happening, part of me wants to keep looking over to where my bags are just to make sure that no one is stealing them. So part of me is still clutching to that, while another part of me can let go for periods of time and trust that everything will be okay.

What that part of me is recognizing is that there’s help that needs to be there, and it can’t be disturbed. In the greater octave of things I have to know that everything is okay. The part of me that worries about the bags being disturbed is keeping a barrier up to the help I am getting. If I completely kept myself focused on what I had been doing at the start, it would shut off my access to the help.

So in this dream I am able to pause and let go enough so that my path can be redirected, or guided. That’s what the dream is saying that I need to do; whether I’m able to do that is another thing.

That type of letting go requires that I trust in the not knowing, and allow myself to be directed. On a personal level it feels like when I drop what I am doing it is an irresponsible act. But to get where I really want to go (my bags are packed), I have to open myself in a way that I can be helped, and that help makes possible more than I can imagine.

In other words, what I can take responsibility for in the physical realms is nothing compared to what is available to me if I can let go, can trust, and let myself be guided. In the dream, I do not know exactly what is being done by my friend to help me. All I know is that this help carries a connection to much more. My friend, another aspect of me, is able to recognize what is needed.

That’s the interesting thing. The friend aspect recognizes it and knows how to elicit additional help, if needed, to work on what should take place. I just have to trust in that process, even though I don’t know what’s involved.

My bags aren’t going anywhere. If I get carried away worrying about the bags, I can prevent all the help. To keep me from meddling, in the dream I am given something to do: going up and down the staircase doesn’t amount to anything but to keep me out of the way.

My role is to wait for what I need, and that is identified in its own time and brought through. I cannot do this on my own. I am lucky if I can feel the need, which is important for the connection and trust to blossom.

This ability to let go is called “discrimination to guidance.” Which means to allow oneself to be redirected. It’s not easy because we tend to hold onto our distractions, i.e., “I must finish what I was doing.” In other words, we get attached to the misdirection, and that keeps us oblivious to the guidance.

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John: In this next dream a woman reminds me that it would be nice to show some appreciation to a coworker whom we both like. I’ve just been going along, but women know that you have to have a greater degree of appreciation for what is going on around you.

We agree that we should get that person, as a gift, a box of candy. However, when I think of that, I get sidetracked by the feeling of, “What about the others who’ve also been meaningful and helpful in one’s life?” So, as I ponder that (because I don’t like to discriminate, to do something for one person that I don’t do for another), it causes me to lose focus.

So, the woman has something else that she needs to take care of, but because the gift idea has come from her, she takes time from her schedule to walk me to a market place. When we enter this huge area, I see vendor after vendor cooking food, and in one glance I see that everything has to do with cooking hamburgers.

This throws me for a loop because that isn’t what we need or had come to get. This seems clear to me, yet the woman, who’s anxious to get on to something else, says to me, “There you go,” as if I’m going to select a gift from one of these hamburger stands.

I stand there in shock. In my state, I forget what it is that I’ve come for but I know it’s not hamburgers. In a way, I’ve been trying to carry the feeling of respect or honor all the way through the scenario, but as the dream ends I’ve come up short.

So, in this dream (and the previous one, see The Masculine Urge), there’s an emotional imbalance that I’m trying to stabilize. Whether a pile of lumber or an unacknowledged debt that needs repaying, these are clues that we are dealing with an emotional issue, and emotions can be related to the water aspect, in terms of earth, air, fire, and water. Water has many great qualities, but it is not a stable state (it’s always in flux).

So in the dream I begin with an emotional connection that I want to bring balance to, but in my effort to balance it I end up with hamburgers, so I’ve gotten disconnected and ended up with an inappropriate solution.

In the emotional state there’s a closeness to the heart, and it’s easy to feel drunk in this energy. Now what we’re talking about is a watery state, liquid light, in that sense. In me, that state needs grounding – it needs the element of earth, the wisdom of physical being, to give it stability. When I’m able to ground my watery emotional state into the solidity of my earth, then I can maintain my emotional sensitivity, but not be swept away by it.

The earth adds a sobering quality to the fluidity of the emotions. I seem to need to go back and forth constantly, trying to maintain the stability of these two states. Creating that stability within, brings me greater wholeness.

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