Posts Tagged ‘resolving inner conflict’

Jeane: It felt like my dreams last night were really busy. As this one begins, I’m going to a house party and my adult daughter (who lives on her own) has joined me. As we approach, I become aware that everyone seems to have something they are supposed to do and I’m concerned that my daughter might not know how to do some things, and I might not be prepared either.

One thing is that when they serve dinner, they have 12 or 13 utensils at the place settings, and I’m not sure I’ve shown her how to use all of them, or whether I even know myself. Then it seems there will be some tricks or a type of contest at some weekend retreat we are all going to. It might involve tricks with marbles (again, 12 or 13 marbles).

One of the games might involve standing on a lawn and throwing something that looks like a big stubby pencil a certain distance through a doorway and into a target.

I’m aware of all this. I’ve gone back home (I live with other people – nothing happens alone in this dream). People come through the house all the time. At one point, two men are telling me that if we just hold out a few more days, and Canada doesn’t realize the paperwork is expiring, a small island off the coast will become a commonwealth of the U.S. and no longer be independent or part of Canada. I’m wondering why they are so interested in this, but I hear them saying that the people there live a really long time.

Meanwhile, I’ve gone out in the yard and I’m practicing trying to throw this stubby pencil. At first I can’t even get it off my hand – it has to be balanced in a certain way or it sticks to my fingers. After a few tries I actually get it to fly off. One goes through the door toward the target, and another falls short, but I feel that if I practice I could get it all the way there. Now, whenever I can, I’m looking for a chance to practice.

Meanwhile, people are trooping through and I’m wondering about the other things that have to be done that are in numbers of 12 or 13 and involve a trick. At one point I notice that some people do not have all the clothes they’ll need for where we are going, and someone brings in a rack of clothes. I recognize some sweaters and things that I gave away. I’m not even sure I have a sweater anymore; I may have to go shopping before this trip. It wouldn’t seem right to take back one of my old sweaters as I have given them away for others who might need them.

Next I see myself in a city, wondering whether I have time to go shopping. Maybe there is time to shop before the trip, but in the next scene I see – because a boyfriend seems to come in and out during this part – it felt like I was in a communal house.

We have not left on the trip yet. My boyfriend comes and gets in bed with me; it’s early in the morning. I realize that he thinks we are going to make love and we may have time for that, but I’m actually going to make him go out into the backyard and practice throwing the stubby-pencil object to see if I can get it through the doorway. That’s what I’m focused on.

John: That’s a very active dream! It begins with the information that everyone has something different to do. The dilemma, then, is how do you come into a situation like that where each person is carrying their personal bit, their part of the larger goings-on, but you can’t see or understand the whole of what is unfolding?

In the outer world it is like that: everyone has a certain specialization. There are plumbers, electricians, etc.; everyone has something that they bring to the group situation.

It’s like that on the inner levels, too – different aspects of the masculine and feminine, and different aspects of our inner psychology. So how does that all come together so it can relate and work as a whole?

Or, how do you get the 12 or 13 (the trick, or the magic thing) to sweep through as an overall vibration? If you are able to do that, then the island is no longer an island. Then the island becomes a possession. And that is a huge overallness – but who can grasp that huge overallness? Very few can.

Next time, we will explore how this dream points out the way to making that possible.

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Jeane: In this dream it feels like I am in the U.S., but I am a woman who is from India. My friends are also from India – our skin is dark.

I am married. It feels like a group of us go to visit another friend. He lives in an area near his work; his living quarters are more public than usual. It is near a transport station, just off to the left, and there is a lot of glass so his living quarters are not very private.

It feels as though times are unsettled. There is something going on in society that is similar to McCarthyism where people can accuse other people and have them arrested just on casual suggestions. Some people believe this is going on, but others don’t.

I am drawn to this man we are visiting, even though I am married. I go there to sleep with him at his place. Perhaps someone could even walk by the windows and see that I am there – perhaps one of his co-workers.

Then it feels like my friends come to warn me that one of his co-workers is going to have him arrested for some offense – like he is being accused of being a communist or something else.

Neither of us can really believe it, yet they do come to arrest him and, perhaps, also arrest me and others I’ve associated with. They take us out the door; there are some transport buses and people walking by. I try to appeal to some passersby that this is a miscarriage of justice and we haven’t done anything wrong; maybe one of his co-workers is just jealous or envious because we are involved. I do not know. I try to get them to see this is just a set up. However, people are afraid to act.

Next the dream does a sideways shift: It feels like I’m standing outside with others (I don’t know if it’s the same people or not). I am participating in a game that involves crossing the highway to get somewhere.

It’s like a video game. When I first step onto the highway someone pulls me back because something comes zipping by me. You have to time when to step out, and then you step onto a moving island that is traveling down the highway.

There is a puzzle box that, when you move it, takes on different shapes and opens up. It feels like I’m also trying to get the people who are traveling with me to come along.

So, I’m trying to open this puzzle box, which will suddenly change its shape and the shape of everything around me. If I can open up the right puzzle box at the right time then there are more ways of traveling across the highway.

It’s hard. Sometimes the box just opens up in odd ways and none of us are quite sure what to do, but you still have to take that risk and go out on the highway and travel down on that island and open up another puzzle box and try to figure out what this shape means and what that is leading to.

John: What you are doing here has to do with an energetic that has built up to a particular point where it’s now able to do something differently – in a dynamic way – in the outer. It’s trying to open up, like the puzzle box, even though you are not sure what to do with it. The actual theme of the dream has to do with using a type of consciousness to affect matter.

In your dream you are extending an energetic of yourself into a new capacity. When you do that, part of you perceives it as a violation of the established order of things. That’s because you are not embracing the energetic as natural to you – you feel it is separate from you. So it becomes an inner struggle.

What the new energetic is manifesting appears to you as something that is not allowed, something that must be wiped out. In other words, you are having a dream that has to do with addressing an energetic, but instead of letting the energetic do what it can do, you interpret it as a threat; it feels personal, but it isn’t, really.

So that conflict in you creates the disruption in the dream (the threat of arrest). In the outer world, everything that is done is perceived to have a result. But internally, deep down, you know it doesn’t have to be that way: an energetic can just be there in and of itself.

You are not able to bring this through as just a pure energetic; you are only able to carry it through as a disruptive image. For some reason this is how you are interpreting the energy, rather that just seeing it and working with it and allowing it to change things without having to do any thing yourself.

Because, ultimately, the energetic you are struggling with is perfect and natural by itself, and you want what it can do in life.

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John: Dreams have a tendency to go through opposites, first one extreme and then the other. There is a sense of them expanding and then contracting within a specific theme, so if there is a nightmarish dream early in the morning, then there is often a dream with everything getting fixed just before you wake up. It gives a great sense of relief – you don’t want to wake up before you get the dream that fixes things.

So this dream follows the dream I described yesterday (Assembly Required). The images from the two dreams, when taken in, create a balance, and a way of holding the theme intact, as if the heart has memorized it all. It’s interesting how it comes together. On one hand there is the discombobulating and the over-reaction that wears you down, and on the other hand there is the composure, the balance, and the self-assurance that is naturally there. When the two sides are brought together, something else becomes possible.

The first thing that I notice is that a lot of time has elapsed since my last high school reunion. My hair has grown out and I see myself lying on a couch with my robe on. I am in a first floor apartment; there is a door at the other end of the room that looks out onto a street.

A postal truck pulls up and the postman rushes by, because this is a postman who moves really fast as he does his job. I don’t pay any attention to begin with so I just assume that it’s the regular postman. I raise my hand as if to greet or acknowledge him. His view of me is not the clearest, but I think he saw the gesture.

Well, I guess he assumed that I was signaling him to come over because he squints a bit, comes out of the truck and comes in the door. I see that he’s not the usual postman. I indicate that I was simply greeting him; he mumbles some things that don’t make a lot of sense, but what I do understand is that he doesn’t have his bearings about things on his route. He’s the new guy on the job. I’m also able to make out that the regular mail carrier is retiring.

I comment about how he can look forward to a route that he’ll probably be able to enjoy, like the fellow who preceded him, for 20 years or so. He doesn’t know what to make of that, so he just shrugs like he is not sure. Deep down, though, I know that will change when he gets used to the route because it’s an excellent assignment.

I know that the regular guy had a natural way and flow and friendliness about him; that he always went by foot, door to door, greeting people along the way. This new employee responds quickly when I question him by saying “Yes, you have to do to it that way.”

When I hear that I know that everything is going to work out well for this guy because he has the right focus and attention to maintain what is necessary to get the job done properly.

So we are speaking now of a consolidation, an aspect of the first dream. What I’m being shown is that when I get my bearings, and overcome imbalances that still exist in the second dream, everything will run smoothly. Both characters in this are aspects of me: the man in the house who feels a little anxious that things stay the same, and the new postman who needs to adjust to his new environment but has the right approach. The new man is integrating the two situations into one flow.

Then everything will be in balance for a good long time (20 years or so). I understand these messages about balance, and how the two dreams create their own internal balance, but I’m still catching up with what that’s all about in my outer life.

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