We know what it means to want rich soil in our garden because where a seed is planted, and in what soil, will determine its future possibility. This understanding can be applied to so many things in life, even to the point of rotating crops: when the same crop is grown in the same place, the soil gets depleted. Rotating crops utilizes and supplies different nutrients for a more balanced soil makeup. So, if we are stuck in the same routines, and endlessly circle the same pathways, we will never find the new stimuli that will provide balanced nutrients that can help us grow. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)
John: So it starts off that, in the meditation dream, I’m trying to access a depth in my being which I need for further nourishment.
So the dream starts off where there’s kind of like this grassy knoll. Everything is maybe flat, and then there’s this little grassy knoll and I’m up on this grassy knoll. I have a shovel in my hand, and I’m pondering, up there, where to dig next. Because, apparently, where I have been at, and dug into things, what I’ve overturned has run its course.
And so I need to take in more, now, and this is the area I find myself in. And so I dig my shovel into the knoll, and when I turn things over I realize that there isn’t any nourishment under the shovel. The grass is thinner, it’s like no dirt, or something; not the level of dirt which I know means that I’ve actually been here before. And that I’ve gotten something out of this before.
That’s the reason why it’s in this knoll, it’s not compacted down. You know it sat over a course of time and has rejuvenated itself a bit, but there still isn’t enough to nourish what I require in terms of a greater beingness. The area looks good on the surface; it grows the grass and everything, but it doesn’t have the quality at depth.
And not enough time has elapsed for this place to restore itself; everything restores over a course of time. Everything breaks down, rock turns to dirt, stuff like that, grass grows and dies and adds nutrients and something restores. And then that can be delved into. And matter holds the essence of this sort of thing. And it may hold it in an invisible, stillness way, but it is also there in an outer way, too.
So as I look at this, I realize, yep, I could probably get some more out of it, but it’s essentially drained. And that would be kind of a waste of my time because it wouldn’t fulfill a deeper need to probe anew and catch up with what is there to reach, which is in a greater depth, breadth, and spaciality that my overall beingness is seeking to embrace.
Well, that won’t happen if I go backwards from time to time and repeat a place, or state, I was at long ago. And of course when I dig into it and realize what it looks like, I realize, aha, I remember that now, that doesn’t work. I’d kind of forgotten it.
So the meaning is I am meant to experience and receive from life what life has to offer from moment to moment in its abundance of rich matter. And then move on to just free flow through the never-ending abundant pastures, or fertility of things, in the outer.
To go backwards is when I reflect back to where I had been before. And even though there may be something I might have missed, and get more out of it with this reflection, such an area doesn’t have the complete self-sufficiency to fulfill a greater awakening need within; pay the price of admission, in terms of an action and a mannerism that I can do. It’s not as fulfilling, and it doesn’t create the breakthroughs that are a quickened aliveness anymore because I’m meant to keep shifting, taking in more, to move on and on with a conscious unfoldment of catching up with my greater overallness.
The familiar is a step backwards that lacks the sustaining nourishment the heart quests to experience. I have learned it is better to journey on than to pick up the spent, loose ends of the past. Because if I pick up the spent loose ends of the past, which can be easier, it runs its course in terms of my heart, which will grow bored, weary, or lose interest.
I’ve come to know myself as a force of nature needs to access fertile matter. We are caught in matter so we have to let go of it, we have to witness beyond it, to the vibration, to something beyond it that’s in a stillness. Or is, like in this dream, the greater and greater richness – which is impossible if, in my forgetfulness and amnesia, I stray back and forth from whence I came, because there isn’t anything there for me anymore.
Life moves on, and the force of nature that I am meant to be proceeds with it. I’ve come to know myself as being a person who cannot settle for what had been, or an old familiar, but must probe more and more of myself in order to take in and transform such new found barriers and obstacles as being the food and nourishment of the soul.
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