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Posts Tagged ‘spiritual development through dream work’

i2tav

Willie Holdman

This dream begins with the image of an idyllic setting, in a meadow by a stream, but the dreamer cannot fully be in the beauty and naturalness of the moment. Yet we could also apply this to our view of the everyday: we find ourselves on a planet where everything we need is provided, and each day, each moment, is energetically different from the last, but still beautiful, and fascinating, in the experience of it. So what is all this “stuff” we have put in the way of our engagement with the natural perfection around us, personally or as a species? (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in my first dream, my meditation dream, I am unable to enjoy the outer flow, like everyone else, because I’m holding onto issues and this is keeping me pent up. I don’t even know what the issues are that I’m holding onto.

And so the image is: I’m kind of in a nice meadow setting, out in nature, and there is a stream, and a river, and the sun is just perfect and really nice out. And ordinarily you would look at the water and you’d say, well, it’s too cold to get in the water, but not only is everyone around me getting in the water, in other words, even though it’s a country setting and kind of quiet and peaceful, there are people and they have come to this area and they’re getting in the water.

And those that have dogs are taking the dogs in the water, and the dogs really are loving the water, too. And it’s like not only are they having a good time, but the dogs are having a good time in the water; it’s just like this whole thing has a whole redeeming process.

In this dream, those who are going in the water, and taking their dogs and everything in the water, were just letting go into a free flow. And even though I was pulled to wanting to test water myself, to see if it was too cold and whatnot, I had some sort of pent-up nature that I just couldn’t shake.

It’s not that I knew what the pent-up nature was. I couldn’t put my finger on the pent-up nature even, but it was something that had me in some sort of tiff, or a mood, or something, and holding back as if by holding back I’d eventually figure it out – but there was nothing on the horizon showing that I was figuring it out. And what was obvious is what I was missing.

And, at one particular point, I kind of let go or something a tiny bit and I threw myself in the water, clothes, shoes, and everything on, and realized, yeah, the water’s wonderful. It’s not as cold. But nope, I still had my nuances, I still had my pent-upism, and I had to come out of the water.

And so what I’m portraying is a quality of bewilderment, and you have this in the out-breath when you’re at a point where you can’t quite sort things out. You are overwhelmed by something that you aren’t able to put your finger on yet.

I’m inclined to be affected by something that is vague to me, that I’m not able to quite catch up with and properly recognize, so I’m inclined to be carrying some sort of nuance trying to find some sort of focus and attention, which, when I find it, supposedly that leads to a balance, so that I can then just appreciate things as they are. And so I’m not quite able to free flow, or let go.

The meaning I write up is that my resolve is being tested. You know, that’s kind of what the outer is all about, to see if you can get closer to something. The question is: can I let go of nuances that, like an inner resolve that I cannot reach, are keeping me from enjoying life in a free flow way? I need to break free of some sort of trance that I am in. The pent-up demeanor is blocking a connection, and I need to let go of that to free flow.

This sort of letting go, or whatever the kind of letting go is that I have to do, that would lead to a natural free flow, will not only relieve me of what I am holding onto, but it supports the free flow and naturalness that is predominating in the surrounding environment. But the natural condition, the primordial naturalness, is askew.

The reason why I’m putting this pressure upon myself, and the reason why I’m acting like this, is it’s like one is directed into the physical to sort and get closer to something. There’s a responsibility to catch up with something. And you carry around a kind of awkward bewilderment  because you’re trying to get into the outer and you can’t. In other words, you can’t quite catch up with whatever this responsibility is.

In other words, therein lies the confusion, and my condition defies the natural letting-go process to a free flow because I am not breaking free of a stigma trance I am in. Until I either let go of this pent-up condition, or catch up with it and own it, I am unable to be naturally free to enjoy the flow and wonderful setting, or conditions, that are permeating the atmosphere for all to see but me.

It’s an awkward, bewildering, condition to have to be in, where I could jump in the water and feel wonderful, but I can’t quite let myself do it because I’m still carrying some sort of nuance or mannerism. That’s painful, that’s really bizarre to have to carry that. There’s a sadness in that.

And this continues into the next dream, it’s repeated again, in that in the next dream there was a time when I was able to see what time it was on a watch. In other words, it’s like somehow or another I’ve gone distant so that, as I glance, I can’t necessarily see the watch anymore. And I can maybe make it out a little bit, but I could get it wrong. Instead of it being, say, 2 o’clock, I might read it as 3 o’clock or something. In other words, there’s a gap, or a distance, that has developed.

In other words, something has changed, like I’m further away. And so I say, in the dream, “I’ve got to be able to read the dials on a watch. So much depends upon getting that right. I can’t be guessing.” So, in the dream, others actually expect me to be able to tell the time. In fact, I’m being relied upon for that.

And so the meaning is, in the dream, over the passage of time, I have gotten ungrounded. In other words, just like I couldn’t go into the water because I couldn’t let go of something, in that sense I’m ungrounded. I’m in a bewildered state. I haven’t sorted out the thought-upon-thoughts that are compelling, that haven’t made themselves known to where they could be let go of into an empty space. That empty space can be in the out-breath to in-breath, too, and so I’m meant to know the balance and timing.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: Balance and Timing

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homingpigeonHow would you feel if the homing pigeon you raised never came home? As humans, we have been designed for a greater purpose than the cultural-focused world around us offers. Deep down, we all know this, but it is the highest aspect of our freedom of choice to be able to deny the spiritual urge we feel, and to continue to live a life focused on the personal. Yet, do we ever consider the pain this causes the universe? Humans are of the highest pedigree in organic life, yet from us the universe gets the least response. It can only cause a great sadness at higher levels. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: And then in the sleep dream, I am shown, and told, that in order to be effective I need to be in the heat of the action. Or, to put it in words as a meaning, contrast is important. There is something about outer contrast and projections that heightens the importance of stillness, and the significance of the primordial condition.

And this next one is a funny little dream. So, in this dream, there is an old woman I am taking care of who lives with me, or, in other words, she’s been taken out of an old folks’ home, somehow or another I’ve done that. And I have this apartment, and it’s like on the third floor, it’s like three flights of stairs that you have to go up to get up there.

And, of course, she’s an old person. When she looks out the window and sees the other people walking around in the street, that are from her old folks’ home, in a way she’d like to go down there but she can’t because of the steps and stuff like that.

So I ask her if she wants to go down there, but at the same time know that it is too much effort for her to go from here to there – or at least that’s the perception. You know, that’s the barrier that one puts in there, kind of an aloof barrier, right? And out of the blue she indicates she wants something more. She indicates she wants a glass of whiskey. I know she doesn’t ordinarily drink, so this comes up as a surprise to me. Isn’t that a funny dream?

So the meaning is something is missing in a person’s psyche to life if we live in the outer, removed from the conditions of those around us. To be like that is to be out of touch with life. Isolation leads to separation, abandonment, and aloneness. We are creatures meant to experience the heat and burden of the times; capable of experiencing the heat and burden of the times.

And also meant to experience the stillness at the same time, but not exclusively; it’s not this versus that. We are also here as a mirror to the essence of our being, in a caring way, and with an essential connectivity. We are intertwined in spite of untenable outer conditions. Accordingly, what appears, from our limited perspective, to be wayward, is actually a reflection of our isolation and separation from a greater wholeness.

And then, in the last one, I’m looking at the principle of the great transformation, which has to do with relating to an outer that is always in chaos: the great push. So, within that, there is a great push. It’s like a voice that’s talking about a great push that’s needed. The great push I’m hearing inside has to do with finding the stillness within the chaos – without isolating, or insulating one’s self from the chaos. it’s got to be done right in the midst of the whole shebang.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: The Great Push

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eye-of-the-stormIt may seem counterintuitive to realize that we have to bring stillness into the chaos of life. And that means our personal stillness. We will never be able to calm all the situations we come across, but we can always control the inner stillness – once we have built that essence within us. And we build it through conscious practice, and we won’t be very good or last very long to begin with. But, over time, our systems will see that it is important to us, and support our desire to have such stillness. Then it will be our serene radiation, in a chaotic scene, that will bring a sense of calm and relief to those nearby. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

Jeane: Well I was a little unsettled last night, and I feel like the dream I had was a dream I’d had before. It was just a bit chaotic.

In this dream I’m a counselor, but I seem to live in a cabin that adjoins other cabins, that adjoins an area where people also go out and party. Then the office is down some stairs and over in front of maybe a lodge and things. And so I check with a secretary that I’m going to have clients coming, and I had run into some clients and tried to get them scheduled. It seemed to be couples more that I was working with. Everything’s just a little chaotic.

One woman I’m going to see I think by herself, and I’m trying to go back to my cabin, and I’m thinking I’ll go through the backdoor because there seem to be so many people around. And I start to go down one dark way and I know it’s a shortcut, but then I look there and it’s all dark on both sides and you’d almost have to crawl part of the way. So I’m deliberating, because I’m a little bit started in that passageway with her behind me.

Then I look again and I see what looks kind of like an ominous man standing in this passageway, down near the end of it, and I think this just isn’t that smart. You can’t even see what’s anywhere in here; it’s too dark, it’s long, and I don’t like the figure of that man there.

So we back out and I take her another way. Now, I still bring up to a passageway that’s a shortcut into my backdoor, but just when we’re about to get there some policeman stops us because he thinks we’re breaking into my place – because we’re not going in the usual way.

So then I have to end up, I think, going through where the party, or the patio, is to go and see her at my place. And then, as I leave there and I’m going back to the reception area, I run into an area where different people are sitting, and several clients are there, and I introduce myself because it feels like I’ve met one of them and her husband but I hadn’t met the others. And I’m not sure about the timing; like I am not sure if I am actually supposed to see them next, or if I had other people scheduled.

And then the receptionist is a little miffed with me because by taking someone in the back way she hadn’t realized I was with somebody. Then I realized that my next group of people I have to see it’s actually three couples, or six people, that are sharing children that they’ve all had amongst them, between marriages and divorces.

So then I take them back to my place and I’m trying to sort them out – so I actually get out a blackboard. I’m trying to put names up, having one of them put everybody’s names up, and which kids are with whom, when, and where, so I can at least just sort out the players and know what’s going on here. And I think that was when I woke up.

John: Although it’s hard to see, in the dream, what you’re doing is you’re contending, or evaluating, how to relate to chaos from the standpoint of amidst the people, or quietly. In other words, the chaos is just the natural order of things.

The place that you have, if you go in the front door it’s just going to be over the top chaos, and yet the people you work with live in a kind of chaos. In other words, you’re having to sort something out. And so the idea is: can you isolate that sort of thing in order to get it so that it makes sense, or balances out?

So what you find out is that on your first attempt trying to come in through a back way you create isolation, you create a distance, you create gaps or barriers. There’s a darkness. So what you’re doing is you’re taking something that exists, in a realm of chaos, and you’re trying to deal with it in an isolated way – and that seems to raise more questions than it answers. And then you go at it again, only this time the situation has gotten louder in terms of the kind of chaos, the nature of the chaos, the complexity of it.

In other words, before it was just like one person or something, and now all of a sudden it’s three couples and they have all the kids, and which kids go to which? And you’re going to try to do that in an isolated way, a quiet way. And so the whole point of it is, you can’t avoid it.

In other words, if you ponder that image of having to deal with three couples trying to figure out how to pull all of that together, in relationship to separating it out from the chaos, coming at it in an isolated way, you find yourself unable to make a proper distinguishment. Yet this is a choice that you’re trying to make because going into the front, or facing it head on, seems way too wild.

So what is this dream trying to say? Well, the theme of the dreaming last night had to do with examining and taking a look at the fact that we live in a life in which around us is nothing but constant chaos. The outer events of things, our senses and everything is constantly engaged in that, and it is a reflection. And out of this chaos, one has to find the stillness. Out of the chaos… you’re dealing with the principle of the great transformation.

In the chaos you’re meant to catch up with the stillness. The tendency is to try to screen the stillness separate from the chaos – as if you could distinguish this over here, and that over there, and you actually can’t do it. This is a key bit of information in that it’s easy to recognize, or to come to know, or to see that in the up and downness of the breath is a lot of bewilderment and spiritual illusion, or, you might say, the flux of transformation and chaos. And that there is a stillness, but you are not going to catch up with the stillness by taking and pushing away and trying to create an isolation, or a separation, from the ordinary chaos of things. You’re in the midst of that. You have to contend with it.

To download this file, Right Click (for PCs) or Control Click (for Macs) and Save: A Kind of Chaos

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