A More Real Place

33d1liat2Why would the universe give humans freedom of choice? Because freedom of choice allows for things to happen that are beyond the robotic repetitions that follow a predetermined plan. But it’s an incredibly risky thing to do, because, as we can see, choice can be used for good things as well as terrible things. So how does the universe protect itself from such a risk? It disconnects its energetic support from anything that is not contributing to the refinement and evolution of the whole. Said another way, it feeds and protects, energetically, what it wants to support, and starves energetically what it wants to discourage. This is the difference between being connected, or not. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.) This post was originally published in January 2020.

John: So, in the meditation, there is a way that I have at my disposal that enables me to do things with greater ease. The dilemma I have is I have gotten dependent upon kind of an outer means, and yet, on the inner, I’m looking forward to availing myself of doing it in this other way.

So, in other words, it’s like I’m dreaming both inner and outer; that’s the oddity of it. On the inner, I can see how something can be done with ease, how there is a quality to the way of doing things that makes everything flow. And it’s almost like I can feel that, I can feel how it can be like that, and yet, then in the outer, when I’m in the outer, I am the way I am and I can just report to myself in the outer, almost as if this other is trying to break through, that there is a better way of doing it.

In other words, in the meditation dream, I have it easier because at my disposal is an energetic that in an inner capacity I’ve gotten accustomed to going to. So, in the meditation dream, the effect in the outer is seen to be about 3%; only able to bring about 3% across. This effect is able to change, and it’s a tremendous 3% because it’s able to change unfolding consequences when I access, just by the fact that there is this kind of essence that’s leaked through.

So what is interesting is this effect is in the hands of my shadow, in other words, the other side now is my shadow, which is hanging out in an inner zone, while I’m going about in manifestation. It’s kind of like a strange way of dreaming this. Carl Jung had a dream where he saw a yogi sitting by a tree, and then when he came up close to him he realized the yogi had the face that was him. And then he realized that if the yogi woke up, then how could he be? What was the dream, and what was the dreamed, kind of thing?

Well, that’s kind of how this is, I’ve got this inner thing that’s an aliveness inside of me, kind of like a shadow, but the effect of that can come across and can touch the outer, and can be brought into the outer, and can affect the outer. And this inner quality is where total at-ease and peace exists. And, to the degree, even if it’s just 3%, that something comes out, it can change the way things are, it can affect the way things are. Otherwise they’re pretty dense, and pretty serious, and you’re caught up in your senses.

So, in the outer, there is this need to justify that I can lean upon things in the outer. In other words, I’m trying to justify that I can go through the things in the outer, I can lean upon the things in the outer. I can do this as my motif, but that’s not the way the shadow part, or this other part  on the inner plane where my higher self decides, it decides it all has to go. So it is destroyed. I winced at not having this at my disposal, when I could have used it to make things easier in the outer.

So the inner got destroyed. The 3% got destroyed. It’s like I was using it, but maybe misusing it, or something, and now all of a sudden it’s gone away. So my higher self saw this as being a limitation, in that I was going more and more asway in the outer, applying it to make my life easier. I was not meant to use it in that capacity. Use, in this way, leads to an imbalance and inadvertent ungroundedness. So my higher self, seen in this dream as a friend, destroys it. It was okay, but not if the effect is going to change the meaningfulness of the process.

So, what is going on? The energetic that I am waking up to needs to be in an inner/outer cohesion. If not, there is a problem, the problem shows up in the outer in that the unfoldment deviates into a personal abstraction. To deviate means a closeness of the heart, in the outer level, has gone askew.

At the inner, higher-self level, the importance of the heart being in a more real place, meaning unfolding closer to the essence made manifest, not getting lost in the outer reflections, is the predominating note.

So, when I lose it in the outer, in other words, get caught up with things in the outer, yet still have access to a little more energetic or something, that being a bit of a violation because it’s not supposed to be used to make the outer easier to accommodate, because the outer is just a reflection, so when I lose it in the outer, the higher self coming from the plane of the soul, has to honor that plane, has to honor that as the realness, so it has to destroy that which is being bastardized.

So the meaning of this dream is, an inner awakening is only able to be, in the outer, from the perspective of the higher self, if it brings a heartfelt closeness to the situation. If it doesn’t, then the result is wayward and needs to be obliterated. In other words, because then you’re misusing it, or whatever.

Or to put it another way, the dream is saying that I am only allowed to use the access I have to bring about a greater overall awakening. The significance is to dwell upon problem solving is not what serving the higher self, on a soul level, is all about. To awaken from the projective outer slumber is needed at this time. With that in mind, as an inner principle, I am not allowed to make things easier if doing so leads to a waywardness.

The way things are devised to unfold in the outer is beyond my frame of reference. My frame of reference needs to be upon facilitating the inner-into-outer awakening, and not in paying attention to extraneous nuances.

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Attendant Responsibility

On our life journey, almost everything we strive for brings new responsibilities – along with any joy or satisfaction we may experience. And that is as it should be, and must be, because once we attain something new we must also maintain it, or it will begin to degrade and devolve from its original state. That maintenance arrives for us in the form of new responsibilities, which means new growth as we learn new management skills. After all, we can’t mow our lawn just once and expect to enjoy a nice yard. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: So in the sleep dream I go into a post office. In a way this is almost not like a post office because, when I go in there, first I have to walk by these guys that all look kind of half-assed dangerous, or ruffians, and whatnot. 

And then when I go into an area of the post office there are these boxes, and I took it to be a post office, but it could also be like storage where you store stuff, too. And I’m standing in the spot where my box should be, the area where my box could be, but I don’t know which one it is. And so I pause and I realize, oh, yeah, my box number should be 4311. But that’s not what’s here. So I have no idea what the number is meant to be here. 

The general area that it’s located in, I kind of have a sense of that because I stand there thinking it will come to me almost out of the blue or something. And, little by little, I seem to be kind of getting my bearings, in terms of sorting this place out, because it’s a very, very faint something or another that’s there. 

And then there was a supplemental image of not knowing the whereabouts of the cohorts that I am to find at the same time there, or as a consequence of all this. 

So the meaning is, it is a dream pointing out that there is a level within where conditions, responsibilities, and energy flow is anew. How I feel and relate there is also going to be different.

And, from the meditation dream, I was made aware that I am working in a new inner way. I also saw my heart inflect in a slightly different way, as a receptivity to the shift. In other words, it’s the heart inflecting differently, like something coming through, letting go or something, which then enabled there to be a different cycle, or change. 

And then, in this dream, I have images of little boxes that are square. So you have a basket, and then in the basket you have a little square box, and it’s square on four sides. One after another they’re being put into this thing. But, right off the bat, a side to one of the square boxes falls off. And, when it falls off, then things go catatonic. Something might ooze a little bit, then all of a sudden things get loud, and, oh, you know, it becomes a neurosis, like a crack-up.

But that’s how I experience it. And so I have to struggle to put this together again. And as I’m struggling, I fully expect that these boxes that are given me, that this is a shock that this has happened. But they just keep coming. It’s as if they didn’t pay any attention. It’s like it’s time for me to get these boxes, and I’m going to have to contend with it. And the fact that the first one came and the one side fell off, c’est la vie, I have to fix that because they’re just going to keep coming. 

Because I had thought at the time that this happened that the flow would stop. But I guess it has been determined that I must be able to handle this. To my surprise, although the discombobulation was alarming to me, this didn’t interrupt anything. 

Meaning: another example of an unfoldment and attendant responsibility that has opened up for me. And, from the prior dreams, I know this as denoting a shift in process. 

And then the last dream is, there’s a letting go such that it is no longer possible to access a way I had been accessing, and doing things repetitively, in a misaligned way. At first this was like a spell and it was hard to break. In other words, I would always kind of continue to go back to it. But eventually the shift is such that the prior dense modality no longer makes any sense.

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Lost in the Outer

When we say “yes” to something, everything changes. Yes, I’ll take care of it, yes, I can help, yes, I’ll marry you. The acceptance sends us a down a path that continues as long as the “yes” we offered still applies. Our relationship with the physical world is like that: whatever we allow in to capture our attention, sends us off on a different path. The idea of inner stillness is to be in the physical experience, but to not take the detour. (At the end of this post there are instructions and a link to download this recording to your computer.)

John: In my meditation dream, I seem to be repeating what I did in another meditation dream, it’s like having to go and take another look at it, or something. And so, because I could sense that it’s like that, I’m going over it as if I can just go over it in my deep meditation, and not have to bring it out and come out with it because it’s just a repeat. 

Nevertheless, somehow or another, I’ve noted before that that’s a poor attitude to take. I have to compel myself reluctantly to come out of this inner world, and hold on to this when I open my eyes, and write it up.

Because even though I know that there is nothing that’s that noteworthy, other than it’s going to be a story of plight, I say this because, in this dream, the commotion I feel upon the heart is correlated to an identification upon the breath. That is intensified when there is an identification from these outer reflective conditions that have me spellbound, or my nature is spellbound. Or, you might say, stem from my being spellbound.

And these spells curse the heart. They hover over the heart, they’re like a pain upon the heart, which I guess you could just say is an identification from the breath. Which, when it hits the heart, limits the wholeness of the heart, the stillness of the heart – so it’s like a sensation of stabbing. 

I know this wouldn’t be so if I were in the all-abiding stillness, but instead, this is my purgatory; I have to contend with some flip-flopping around in the breath. Thus I am out of the stillness and into what is a type of futility, in other words, where things are reflective instead of brought back to a wholeness, or a completeness, or a oneness. And I’m struggling in this, that’s a reflection, as if it’s real. 

Only in a letting go to the stillness do I actually go anywhere. In other words, I just yo-yo in this sort of thing because this is not a depth of realness, of wholeness, completeness, of absoluteness, it’s a bifurcation that haunts me.

So I do my best, in the dream, to accept the fate I know that goes along with a breath projection,

understanding that anything that is caught on the breath is lost in an ever-changing outer, or the purgatory of what appears to be like an outer, which is manufactured based upon projection.

So, in my heart, I am realizing that there is a deeper echo of stillness, which is pleading to not be diluted by a breath because it knows that if I allow the struggle that is in the reflective outer to be there on the breath, vying for the heart, that I will be compromised and end up more or less under a heaviness outside of the stillness, or an exhaustion, even.

So, under the scenario – again, because you go back and forth until you’re worn out – so under the scenario that I am in my heart is heavy from an identification. And so I am in a bifurcation that is upon the breath. I am especially saddened because I know that there is no answer for such a state with its endless hallucinogenic yo-yo reflections.

Because I know better I have no right to pray. Because I know better, I don’t just do that and then go begging for mercy. How can I do that? So I must hope others that are a part of me, do so, as they yearn for the stillness. In other words, because I’m supposed to know better. Their crying out for a letting go is my hope to not be permanently lost within a delusional outer projective neverending spell.

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